FabSwingers.com forum: We accept less than we deserve because...

By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

... we are too scared of wanting more?

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

We are not worthy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because we often underestimate ourselves and yes, scared of the future's variables.

Or we're settled, it's contextual isn't it.

Crap paid job but with great rewards is one example, or a bad marriage but staying together for 'the kids' when in reality it's probably an emotionally selfish decision.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Because we often underestimate ourselves and yes, scared of the future's variables.

Or we're settled, it's contextual isn't it.

Crap paid job but with great rewards is one example, or a bad marriage but staying together for 'the kids' when in reality it's probably an emotionally selfish decision. "

We compromise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

usually you've been trained to think you don't deserve it.

and if you look at how people discuss minimum wage, worthiness of wages, putting up with shit off people, being tolerant of everything and not being a 'bitch' and standing up for yourself...etc you get the point?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't want to be seen as being greedy & self centered....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can sometimes be drummed into people that they are worthless. Said enough times and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Someone like that isn't a good person to have in your life.

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

The single biggest reason for someone not getting a payrise is not asking for one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We can't possibly deserve it

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Dunno... I don't accept less.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is like one of those threads where people are afraid to approach those who are "out of their league". Personally I have never believed this...if you want it then go for it....I've often been told I'm punching above my weight...but ice never thought so...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We deserve evrything we are willing to work for, nothing more nothing less. If we choose to accept something less it's because we are scared to reach for something more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've always had the mentality of not asking for what I really would like because of fear of rejection.

But lately, I've been trying to alter my thought process and it seems to be working.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I've always had the mentality of not asking for what I really would like because of fear of rejection.

But lately, I've been trying to alter my thought process and it seems to be working.

Go for it. What's the worst that can happen?

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"This is like one of those threads where people are afraid to approach those who are "out of their league". Personally I have never believed this...if you want it then go for it....I've often been told I'm punching above my weight...but ice never thought so..."

I'm quite heavy so it's more punching above my height.

I do admit to being surprised at some of the men that are willing to be seen with me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all deserve to be happy. Its how you feel about being happy.

I think some times our expectations are so high we feel we will never aspire to them.

We get wound up in self doubt and those little voices that tell us we are not this or that.

So silence those voices , relax in to.what makes us happy. Be confident in our needs and more compassionate with our selves .

Just smile and enjoy the lovely little things life brings us

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

What do we deserve?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do we deserve? "

The best because we are worth it

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"What do we deserve? "

Ooo, interesting... I started off thinking about basic courtesy and respect but now I'm questioning whether we 'deserve' those.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because there's many more men than women and it's a buyers market.

Wait, what was the question?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because there's many more men than women and it's a buyers market.

Wait, what was the question?"

What has success got to do with numbers. It's about attitude!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because,it possibly is a consciousness borne out of guilt, manifesting from the disgraceful conduct and legacy of British Empire of old.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Because there's many more men than women and it's a buyers market.

Wait, what was the question?"

If it's a party I think you need more men than women. Men get worn out so quickly.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"What do we deserve?

Ooo, interesting... I started off thinking about basic courtesy and respect but now I'm questioning whether we 'deserve' those.

I started thinking about it too. I always assume that people deserve at least basic courtesy and respect but does "everyone"? Or is it even more basic than that we deserve food, shelter and safety, maybe that's covered by respect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because there's many more men than women and it's a buyers market.

Wait, what was the question?

What has success got to do with numbers. It's about attitude!"

When you weigh 25 stone and look like the underside of a boat, I'm afraid attitude will only get you so far!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Uncertainty, habit, low self-esteem, lack of focus and due to influence from others come to mind with this. A common issue for people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's pretty accurate to say that nobody deserves anything. I mean there are some basic human rights granted if you're lucky enough to be born in the right place, but you don't get what you deserve in life; only what you negotiate. It applies to most things, not just career.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"What do we deserve?

Ooo, interesting... I started off thinking about basic courtesy and respect but now I'm questioning whether we 'deserve' those.

Maslow and his hierarchy of needs means you get quite high up the pyramid before you get to respect.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Because there's many more men than women and it's a buyers market.

Wait, what was the question?

What has success got to do with numbers. It's about attitude!

When you weigh 25 stone and look like the underside of a boat, I'm afraid attitude will only get you so far!"

Well, he wasn't 25 stone (only 20) and he looked like Quasimodo's ugly brother but he won me over on attitude alone.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"What do we deserve?

Ooo, interesting... I started off thinking about basic courtesy and respect but now I'm questioning whether we 'deserve' those.

Maslow and his hierarchy of needs means you get quite high up the pyramid before you get to respect.

Oh!? I must have a look at Google tomorrow on that.

I think it's quite difficult to pin point what we deserve from the perspective of citizens of the first world.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"What do we deserve?

Ooo, interesting... I started off thinking about basic courtesy and respect but now I'm questioning whether we 'deserve' those.

Maslow and his hierarchy of needs means you get quite high up the pyramid before you get to respect.

Oh!? I must have a look at Google tomorrow on that.

I think it's quite difficult to pin point what we deserve from the perspective of citizens of the first world."

If we accept we are at love and belonging on the hierarchy but we haven't reached esteem or self-actualisation then maybe we are willing to accept less (of whatever it is) just because we aren't fully accepting of all that we can be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do we deserve?

Ooo, interesting... I started off thinking about basic courtesy and respect but now I'm questioning whether we 'deserve' those.

Maslow and his hierarchy of needs means you get quite high up the pyramid before you get to respect.

That surprised (and disappointed) me.

I had to Google.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I don't accept less than I deserve, which is why I keep going on holidays, and for job interviews (to afford more holidays).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He drip feeds me more. It's coming,I don't ask for anything.

I'm not an asker or demander.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"... we are too scared of wanting more?

Fear is transitory.

What are you actually afraid of?

Dying? Inevitable.

Rejection? No one has died from it!

If you don't ask, you don't get.

Happiness is a choice you can make.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"... we are too scared of wanting more?

Fear is transitory.

What are you actually afraid of?

Dying? Inevitable.

Rejection? No one has died from it!

If you don't ask, you don't get.

Happiness is a choice you can make."

The happiness is a choice line has been used with me a lot, often at times when I can't choose anything let alone happiness.

(Fear of) Rejection seems to be thing that holds people back, in my experience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because we often underestimate ourselves and yes, scared of the future's variables.

Or we're settled, it's contextual isn't it.

Crap paid job but with great rewards is one example, or a bad marriage but staying together for 'the kids' when in reality it's probably an emotionally selfish decision. "

think all of those applied to me at some point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone compromises somewhere.

Professionally I happen to.be awesome and am paid what I'm worth because I'm confident in my ability.

I never compromise when it comes to the little peeps they are the centre of my universe

Just for me yes on occasion but as I said everyone does somewhere.

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By *reakShow90Man
over a year ago

Manchester/halifax

"... we are too scared of wanting more?

"
yes as it's been said putting up with things as we feel we should not have better or are not worth it or could never have it.

Why not try for that new opening at work? No point ied never get it iam better at the bottom of the food chain

Why not ask that nice girl out for a drink? Have you seen her she is stunning like she would never ever look at me

Why not stand your ground and not let others run over you? I don't like to upset others

Why not go over and talk to that clp at the bar? They won't want me they want some one tall built good looking and hung

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