FabSwingers.com forum: Do you message first or prefer to be messaged?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I haven't messaged first yet. Had filters off and received messages. I'm wondering if you find it more successful in finding what you want if you do the searching and send messages out. Guess you're more in control then. If that makes sense.

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By *alldarkhandsomedaveMan
over a year ago

Derby

As a single guy on here, it would be awfully quiet if I didn't message first!! Lol

Saying that, I still get some messages that I haven't instigated

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"I haven't messaged first yet. Had filters off and received messages. I'm wondering if you find it more successful in finding what you want if you do the searching and send messages out. Guess you're more in control then. If that makes sense. "

It's always nice to be approached by others and told "I Fancy You"...

Cal

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By *i Lady Next DoorWoman
over a year ago

nottingham

Mine depends who I am looking for - if a couple or male I tend to be messaged first and reply either way but if I am looking for a single fem I tend to do the searching myself and message first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pretty much never message first, if I'm on fab it's usually replying to people or talking bollocks on the forum.

When we do go out clubbing we just post a meet and if anyone replies then great, if not we go along regardless.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I must admit I never message first ,I answer my messages and go on forums mostly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I send the odd message if I like someone's pics for instance, but otherwise i don't bother

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

A bit of both, I'm not shy in coming forward and I can handle rejection

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I message first if i see something i like. Why wouldn't i?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A bit of both tbh, but loved being messaged or winked first as it shows that the interest is real.

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

I won't ever msg 1st unless it's something to do with the forum. I refuse to be yet another single bloke on here mailing some poor female trying to get my cock wet it's sad as Fuck and I'm worth more than that. If somebody is interested in me we are supposed to be liberated people so they can just as easily msg me then I'm not pestering them like the 100s of others

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"I message first if i see something i like. Why wouldn't i?"

Ffs I've waited long enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I won't ever msg 1st unless it's something to do with the forum. I refuse to be yet another single bloke on here mailing some poor female trying to get my cock wet it's sad as Fuck and I'm worth more than that. If somebody is interested in me we are supposed to be liberated people so they can just as easily msg me then I'm not pestering them like the 100s of others"

Oh those poor poor females. Gotta feel sorry for them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see a lot of men use the forums to flirt with women ... But how many women would think 'oh, this is going well... I should message him' ? Not many I'm guessing

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By *ny1localMan
over a year ago

READING

[Removed by poster at 16/05/16 07:24:45]

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Oh those poor poor females. Gotta feel sorry for them!

You said it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see a lot of men use the forums to flirt with women ... But how many women would think 'oh, this is going well... I should message him' ? Not many I'm guessing

If, on the rare occasion, i find someone flirty on the forum that i wouldn't mind continuing with, i will message them to take it out of the forum. Why would not many women do that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think women or indeed couples need to send messages first as their inbox is kept quite busy anyway, but as other have said, it would be very quiet indeed if us singles guys didn't send out any messages, and indeed it would be quiet for the women and couples too who are looking for single guys.

I do send messages out but not for a while now as I've messaged everyone within my travel distance that I thought might be interested in meeting me, and as predicted, no replies

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By *ny1localMan
over a year ago

READING

"A bit of both tbh, but loved being messaged or winked first as it shows that the interest is real.

"
same for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A mix of both really its always jolly splendid to receive a new message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I send the odd message if I like someone's pics for instance, but otherwise i don't bother

Ditto

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

I see a lot of men use the forums to flirt with women ... But how many women would think 'oh, this is going well... I should message him' ? Not many I'm guessing

I use the forums for fun have done for years now as many can tell you. Being flerty is just my way of having a laugh and I'm the same if it's a complete stunner or Nora batty. What I say on here means nothing as I've always said what I say in private does. Any meets I get off this site is just a bonus and they really don't matter 1 way or another

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Both. If I see someone I like, I'll mail them.

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By *aucy tiggerWoman
over a year ago

Back where I belong

"Both. If I see someone I like, I'll mail them.

Ditto xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We do a mixture of both. Mr is much better at initial messages than me.

Sarah

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I message first, I wouldn't get any messages if I didn't! Suits me perfectly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see a lot of men use the forums to flirt with women ... But how many women would think 'oh, this is going well... I should message him' ? Not many I'm guessing

If, on the rare occasion, i find someone flirty on the forum that i wouldn't mind continuing with, i will message them to take it out of the forum. Why would not many women do that?"

This is usually the reason I message first as I don't search for men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've not sent the first message in a very long time, I'm happy to chat shit on the forums and if anything develops then great. I think that getting a reaction from a first message is pure luck, even if you meet all the criteria it might be a bad day for them or they might misinterpret the tone of your message or they may just miss you altogether.

I'd much rather develop a rapport over a topic and then chat

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"I message first, I wouldn't get any messages if I didn't! Suits me perfectly."

Inbox is that way. Just saying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I message first, I wouldn't get any messages if I didn't! Suits me perfectly.

Inbox is that way. Just saying

Mine is because of my age filters, if I took them off then I would get messages without having to send any.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't message men first, with regards to meeting etc as my availability is so crappy I don't want to be accused of being a tease.

However, I have sent a message to a male regular on the forums, but not in a "I want you way", it was just because I like the way he responds, even on heated debates etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I see a profile I like then I will message first not one to sit around hoping that they will message me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hardly ever message because I know Im not what most women want.

I do sometimes message people from the forums if Im impressed by how they have argued their case or seen that they appear upset.

Tbh I think the forums are the best

part of fab for me...sadly lol

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By *.TaylorMan
over a year ago

london

Always message first but if any ladies want to take the lead ;p be happy to play lol

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

I receive more than I send,

when I first joined I sent far more than I received,

over time the way I use the site and its tools has changed, if a profile really interests me I'll send a message why wouldn't you, worst that can happen message delete or no thanks .

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"I message first, I wouldn't get any messages if I didn't! Suits me perfectly.

Inbox is that way. Just saying

Mine is because of my age filters, if I took them off then I would get messages without having to send any."

I know I know a few that do it. Just thought I'd put the bat signal up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

both

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By *estlands4Man
over a year ago

Sidmouth

As a bloke I message lots but most of my meets come from being messaged first - so feel free to message away ladies - I guess ladies have their pick from hundreds whereas if they are looking and I fit their bill then there is more chance of something happening

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

We're more far more successful sending first messages ourselves.

If we just sat back and waited to see who contacted us, we'd never have met anyone. We've never been flooded with messages, even with all filters off and when our proper profile text was on show.

Strangely, we get more interest since we removed our profile text and put, we're not looking for new people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never resieved a message forst unless its off creepy old men or couples and women telling me that I am too young to be on here, yet they meet with 18 year old girls

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We're more far more successful sending first messages ourselves.

If we just sat back and waited to see who contacted us, we'd never have met anyone. We've never been flooded with messages, even with all filters off and when our proper profile text was on show.

Strangely, we get more interest since we removed our profile text and put, we're not looking for new people.

And we didn't message you because you weren't looking for new people

going to stop reading profiles and just message anyway now incase it's a double bluff lol

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By *oward1978Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

I haven't sent a first message for a long time. I'm thinking of trying again though when I finally get my profile together.

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"We're more far more successful sending first messages ourselves.

If we just sat back and waited to see who contacted us, we'd never have met anyone. We've never been flooded with messages, even with all filters off and when our proper profile text was on show.

Strangely, we get more interest since we removed our profile text and put, we're not looking for new people.

Did I just hear a penny drop

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never message first... (unless it's a forum thing).

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"Never message first... (unless it's a forum thing). "

How's the head this morning

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Never message first... (unless it's a forum thing).

How's the head this morning

Sore... and I am too afraid to look in my sent box.... (I may have broken the rule about not messaging first... eek!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/05/16 09:29:32]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have more luck replying to guys who mail me first then when i mail first, infact my success rate of getting a meet from guys i mail first is zero.

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By *reakShow90Man
over a year ago

Manchester/halifax

I don't msg 1st any more I end up been let down so I just look over a profile profile fab pics if I like the look of some one if they wing or fab any of my pics I may say hello

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By *mokes n MirrorsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth and Newcastle (sometimes)

"A bit of both, I'm not shy in coming forward and I can handle rejection

Works for us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never message first I'm too scared of rejection lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never been messaged first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't do much searching and messaging myself. I prefer to put a bit more thought into it. Had some message me first, and some good chats with forumites. Happy enough with the amounts of contact I'm getting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see a lot of men use the forums to flirt with women ... But how many women would think 'oh, this is going well... I should message him' ? Not many I'm guessing

If, on the rare occasion, i find someone flirty on the forum that i wouldn't mind continuing with, i will message them to take it out of the forum. Why would not many women do that?"

This

Most of my chatting on here starts from the Forums and I often message first....messaged that Bladey first once

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a single guy on here, it would be awfully quiet if I didn't message first!! Lol

Saying that, I still get some messages that I haven't instigated

Snap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Message first usually. Sometimes it's in response to a wink or a thanks for a fab.

Not much in my inbox otherwise, so have to be proactive

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"We're more far more successful sending first messages ourselves.

If we just sat back and waited to see who contacted us, we'd never have met anyone. We've never been flooded with messages, even with all filters off and when our proper profile text was on show.

Strangely, we get more interest since we removed our profile text and put, we're not looking for new people.

And we didn't message you because you weren't looking for new people

going to stop reading profiles and just message anyway now incase it's a double bluff lol

We don't count forumites, they're a special bunch. Lol

When we have more regular free time and start looking for new people again. Thinking of trying 'not looking or meeting at all.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"We're more far more successful sending first messages ourselves.

If we just sat back and waited to see who contacted us, we'd never have met anyone. We've never been flooded with messages, even with all filters off and when our proper profile text was on show.

Strangely, we get more interest since we removed our profile text and put, we're not looking for new people.

Did I just hear a penny drop

No that was my knickers.

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By *ulfilthmentMan
over a year ago

Just around the corner

I message first, otherwise I'd expire from boredom.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am surprised at the number of guys that are worried that if they don't message first they won't get any meetings..

I took the stance that so many status messages and profiles in my area bitched about shit messages I would let them come find me (if they wanted too).

I also don't get rejected (woot), people that message me have normally seen face/body/cock and therefore want to meet... and I can laugh at all the "single men send idiot message" threads.

To each their own I guess, and I am sure that I miss a few by not being proactive. But such is life.. a life without drama

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"i have more luck replying to guys who mail me first then when i mail first, infact my success rate of getting a meet from guys i mail first is zero.

I've dropped enough hints ffs

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

I see a lot of men use the forums to flirt with women ... But how many women would think 'oh, this is going well... I should message him' ? Not many I'm guessing

If, on the rare occasion, i find someone flirty on the forum that i wouldn't mind continuing with, i will message them to take it out of the forum. Why would not many women do that?

This

Most of my chatting on here starts from the Forums and I often message first....messaged that Bladey first once

Yep she did and we are still good friends from it although miles have prevented a meet as yet it will happen 1 day

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"We're more far more successful sending first messages ourselves.

If we just sat back and waited to see who contacted us, we'd never have met anyone. We've never been flooded with messages, even with all filters off and when our proper profile text was on show.

Strangely, we get more interest since we removed our profile text and put, we're not looking for new people.

Did I just hear a penny drop

No that was my knickers.

Hahaha top come back. Hmmmm now how does that line go oh yes fancy a fuck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't say I have ever had a message off my preferred sex but strangely, had quite a few from blokes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to message when I first started on fab but all I got was deletes and or blocked so now I let people message my first.

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

Very rare I would ever send a first message unless it was with reference to a forum post/thread .......

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

The thing I don't get is why do most of you lady's think it's right that the bloke should make the 1st move. It's 2016 ffs woman up all we need to no is if there's interest we have no problem taking the load there after

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"Very rare I would ever send a first message unless it was with reference to a forum post/thread .......

I didn't know you liked bikes..... inbox that way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've only ever messaged first men who have posted in the forums.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I message first but not sure it works as I don't send messages saying I want to fuck you I try friendly messages

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

"A bit of both, I'm not shy in coming forward and I can handle rejection

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get rejected the same equally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would love to be messaged first be a nice change

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

"I've only ever messaged first men who have posted in the forums."

I post in the forums, just saying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see a lot of men use the forums to flirt with women ... But how many women would think 'oh, this is going well... I should message him' ? Not many I'm guessing

If, on the rare occasion, i find someone flirty on the forum that i wouldn't mind continuing with, i will message them to take it out of the forum. Why would not many women do that?"

Doing this right now,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The men that I've met or who I've built up a good friendship with are always ones who I've noticed in here and I've always been the first to message them. I wouldn't sit on my arse and wait for someone who interests me on here to have that brilliant psychic moment and message me first

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By *erbyuk1Man
over a year ago

Derbys

Always happy to message first... but equally happy to be messaged too... it takes two!

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