FabSwingers.com forum: Dropping the bomb...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Today I told my ex that we are definitively over, no ifs, ands or buts. This has precipitated a potentially major change in my life and leaves me feeling hopeful but a little lost.

I believe that it is an ill wind that blows no good, however I'd like to hear from you dear fabbers of a time that you've done something similar

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Good luck mate .. It's probably for the best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been there, just stay true to yourself and you'll be fine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ive always been the one to get 'dumped' so dont know what your feeling.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've been there, just stay true to yourself and you'll be fine "

That's what I'm hoping

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I got rid of someone quite toxic in my life and couldn't be happier...

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By *horltzMan
over a year ago

heysham

Takes time to adjust , stick with it and don't rush into anything

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

My situation was different to yours - he'd been cheating. We talked, shouted & cried. I gave him a hug, kissed him on the head & said he had to go.

Admitting to yourself that it's over is hard enough but saying it out loud to the other person - someone you've loved for many years & have children with - is something else.

Just be happy xxx

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Oooh the sense of relief I experienced when my last ex finally got the hint we weren't getting back together was huge. I am so bad at picking blokes I've been single ever since.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Today I told my ex that we are definitively over, no ifs, ands or buts. This has precipitated a potentially major change in my life and leaves me feeling hopeful but a little lost.

I believe that it is an ill wind that blows no good, however I'd like to hear from you dear fabbers of a time that you've done something similar "

Well if your that way inclined...you can get your own woman's wardrobe of clothes now....all to yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good stuff. Not easy to do, but the hardest thing and the right thing are often the same.

Put your feet up, have a couple of cold ones and create a solo profile

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My situation was different to yours - he'd been cheating. We talked, shouted & cried. I gave him a hug, kissed him on the head & said he had to go.

Admitting to yourself that it's over is hard enough but saying it out loud to the other person - someone you've loved for many years & have children with - is something else.

Just be happy xxx"

Thanks, yes it's been necessary to make the point and to force the change. It's not how I wanted it but I'm hoping that in the long run it will be the positive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2 months after i left the army i had a phone call at work from the school asking if i could pick my children up. They were 7 and 5 at the time. Picked them up , cme home and my then wife had left for some bloke she had met. Talk about shocked. I thought we were ok but obviously she wanted more. So i raised the children. Went to uni got a degree or two and started a decent career. The kids are now all grown up. My son whos 27 is in the army and my daughter 25 is a teacher. At the time she left i was in bits. Now i look back and realise that she actually did me a big favour. I have a good job , i have wonderful children and two gorgeous grandchildren. I'm a lucky chap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like the only way is up now. I haven't done anything similar but hope you can get your ducks in a row and come away from this lighter and happier.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

best day of my life when me and my ex split up, he did come crawling back a few months later but it gave me great pleasure to kick him while he was down

im not genrally a nasty person but he was a cunt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The unknown can be scary - that's why many stay in bad relationships- it's the safe and known option.

Many years ago, I was dumped by my first love for someone else he had his eye on. Then he changed His mind after a few months. By then I'd moved on and realised he'd done me a favour.

It'll all come right in the end.

Sarah

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By *obka3Couple
over a year ago

bournemouth

Just take your time before you jump into another relationship, when I left my wife I didnt see another woman for 5 months and that lasted a short while just as FB's had lots of blind dates before I met K three years later, she is wonderful and we have a great life together, the three years on my own did me the world of good, both parties in a breakdown have some responsibility and time alone helped me change the things that I didnt like ( too much time working etc)

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

I called time on my marriage and also a long relationship, sometimes you just have to be "you" and not "us" and I think once certain feelings have gone you just can't get it back

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

"best day of my life when me and my ex split up, he did come crawling back a few months later but it gave me great pleasure to kick him while he was down

im not genrally a nasty person but he was a cunt

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Today I told my ex that we are definitively over, no ifs, ands or buts. This has precipitated a potentially major change in my life and leaves me feeling hopeful but a little lost.

I believe that it is an ill wind that blows no good, however I'd like to hear from you dear fabbers of a time that you've done something similar "

What ill wind ?

We are always alone, even in a relationship.

Alone is a natural state.

I feel for others who have to be part of a couple to feel whole....

I am whole.

Don't be scared to let go and be alone. You will find that you don't really need the burden that you think is is your rock or crutch.

Seek out friends. ......... just friends and NEVER restrict yourself to the needs of someone else.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think I need to point out that this final nail in the coffin has been 2 1/2 years coming since we separated. Up until this point the status quo has been an arrangement that worked for the time with regards to childcare but afforded no real closure for either of us.

I've now finally said the words that needed saying a very long time ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Actually saying it out loud is the hardest part. Begin to be a little bit selfish and put yourself and your children first. Just remember how happy you are ...be pleasant to your ex and don't get involved in drama x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"2 months after i left the army i had a phone call at work from the school asking if i could pick my children up. They were 7 and 5 at the time. Picked them up , cme home and my then wife had left for some bloke she had met. Talk about shocked. I thought we were ok but obviously she wanted more. So i raised the children. Went to uni got a degree or two and started a decent career. The kids are now all grown up. My son whos 27 is in the army and my daughter 25 is a teacher. At the time she left i was in bits. Now i look back and realise that she actually did me a big favour. I have a good job , i have wonderful children and two gorgeous grandchildren. I'm a lucky chap

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tried to get my ex to go for 5 months before the local constabulary 'persuaded' him. My life post-divorce has been very different but infintely better. Well done, OP. Onwards & upwards....

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

Huggles mister (if I can reach and not get poked in the eye by face fuzz!!) it's not an easy time but it's for the best x

I split from a toxic relationship some time ago. It honestly broke me at the time - it took me a long time to find myself again after the mental crap he put me through for many years (without me even realising at the time he was doing it - I just thought it was him loving me!!) and I am SO much the better for it happening!

A relationship is about two people and honesty with yourself. It's often not til you stand right back and reassess that you see its not working, and that you haven't been honest with yourself - I hope your ex can do this and learn to find her inner honesty x

My God that was a bit deep for me, so I'm off to find a shag now

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