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"why are you worrying about ifs " as in I worry about it but iam not worryed about it if that makes any sense and I guess as I push others away so I don't get hurt. | |||
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"Strong fences make good neighbours " with you there mate and mine are up | |||
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"I found it odd at first fucking people without the expectation of some kind of attachment or feelings etc I sort of trained myself to turn any emotions off Altho I have met someone recently who made me feel something and it stressed me out a bit Swingers are still human It is natural to have feelimgs after all "very true when iam playing I don't think I anything but what iam doing its more of a worry that one day iam goner want to see some one more then just a meet or fuck when if anything we are all here to have fun and a laugh | |||
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"I recon there is jealousy between couples no daubt, like it is generally easier for the man seeing his wife having fun, but the woman wouldn't find it as easy seeing her hubby having fun with another woman. " If I had a long term partner I couldn't watch him fuck another woman It would wreck me | |||
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"I'm emotionally attached to my OH. We have sex wth others but we don't get emotionally involved. Are you sure swinging is for you OP? Sarah " oh yes trust me I love swinging if anything it has built my confident up and has made me work on my social skills and also Seeeeexxxx lol it sounds like you have just the right mix with your other half | |||
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"I recon there is jealousy between couples no daubt, like it is generally easier for the man seeing his wife having fun, but the woman wouldn't find it as easy seeing her hubby having fun with another woman. " I think you're wrong here, Shag. I think plenty of women like seeing their partner having fun with someone else and that there are plenty of men who wouldn't want to see their partner with someone else. As for the OP, it isn't something Marc and I have had to deal with and I don't see it becoming an issue. If it ever were an issue with Marc then it would crush me but then I think it would have signified bigger problems in our own relationship. -Courtney | |||
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"I recon there is jealousy between couples no daubt, like it is generally easier for the man seeing his wife having fun, but the woman wouldn't find it as easy seeing her hubby having fun with another woman. " it could happen with either and iam sure many couples have gone done it then found it is not for them | |||
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"try not to worry about things too much. although it can be good to think about certain scenarios and how you might deal with those if they happen it's usually better to deal with things as they happen." it was just some thing I was thinking of at work and how ied deal with it and how I would feel if I had a mrs and we both was in to swinging how ied feel watching her fuck others or me fucking others in front of her I said to myself fucking is one thing but feelings are so much stronger | |||
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"I recon there is jealousy between couples no daubt, like it is generally easier for the man seeing his wife having fun, but the woman wouldn't find it as easy seeing her hubby having fun with another woman. I think you're wrong here, Shag. I think plenty of women like seeing their partner having fun with someone else and that there are plenty of men who wouldn't want to see their partner with someone else. As for the OP, it isn't something Marc and I have had to deal with and I don't see it becoming an issue. If it ever were an issue with Marc then it would crush me but then I think it would have signified bigger problems in our own relationship. -Courtney " well I am glad you both seem to have a good mix and I under stand ied never want to hurt my other half (if I had one lol) | |||
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"why are you worrying about ifs as in I worry about it but iam not worryed about it if that makes any sense and I guess as I push others away so I don't get hurt. " Emotions shouldn't really come into it.... If they do then maybe you are on the wrong site  | |||
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"Emotions are obviously there on so many levels. However, non so great than that of a committed married which is strong enough to be adventurous enough to want to explore swinging, for its raw animalistic gratification. However, a single guy who worries or even considers (by implication of your post) that they may fall in love with a wife or GF..... You would certainly be off our desired meets... After all NSA, means just that." I fully understand it was just some thin I was thinking at work how ied feel sharing my gf or wife or how she would feel or if I met a clp I really liked but it was about 3 am with no sleep lol | |||
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"I find it very easy to have sex with others without any strong feelings/emotions. While I might enjoy someones company and like them as a friend and, or fancy the pants off them, that's as far as it goes. " oh yes I get that I have seen ladies and been like wooowwww but after talking to them all I wish to do is ball gag and fuck  | |||
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"why are you worrying about ifs as in I worry about it but iam not worryed about it if that makes any sense and I guess as I push others away so I don't get hurt. Emotions shouldn't really come into it.... If they do then maybe you are on the wrong site "I was talking more with dating and such but yes I understand if anything I do feel I have a very strong line beween them both | |||
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"try not to worry about things too much. although it can be good to think about certain scenarios and how you might deal with those if they happen it's usually better to deal with things as they happen. it was just some thing I was thinking of at work and how ied deal with it and how I would feel if I had a mrs and we both was in to swinging how ied feel watching her fuck others or me fucking others in front of her I said to myself fucking is one thing but feelings are so much stronger " love is way more than sex, probably everything but sex actually. but yeah people can get jealous and that i'm sure, some get more turned on by it. i'm guilty of headfucking myself for no reason sometimes though. i have to listen to my own advice.  | |||
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"When I was swinging in a couple I saw it as just sex I wasn't going home with them or him or her I was going home with my partner and snuggling up with him " | |||
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"why are you worrying about ifs as in I worry about it but iam not worryed about it if that makes any sense and I guess as I push others away so I don't get hurt. Emotions shouldn't really come into it.... If they do then maybe you are on the wrong site "Not necessarilly Emotions are natural and if someone is new to the lifestyle then it can take them a while to get used to the fact that sex and emotions can be completely separated, if they have only ever had sex with feeelings involved in the past | |||
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lol and for you that ask if swinging is for me oh Yess I love it love getting to know new people | |||
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"When I was swinging in a couple I saw it as just sex I wasn't going home with them or him or her I was going home with my partner and snuggling up with him "yeah that's what I feel ied be goin home with a mrs waking up with her cuddle kisses all the soft stuff that made us 'us' | |||
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"Don't worry guys not trying to steal your other half's " I don't think you can steal women, that's called kidnapping. If they want to leave their partner for you, that's generally voluntary.  | |||
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"try not to worry about things too much. although it can be good to think about certain scenarios and how you might deal with those if they happen it's usually better to deal with things as they happen. it was just some thing I was thinking of at work and how ied deal with it and how I would feel if I had a mrs and we both was in to swinging how ied feel watching her fuck others or me fucking others in front of her I said to myself fucking is one thing but feelings are so much stronger love is way more than sex, probably everything but sex actually. but yeah people can get jealous and that i'm sure, some get more turned on by it. i'm guilty of headfucking myself for no reason sometimes though. i have to listen to my own advice. "thanks glad some one else fucks with their own head as well loll | |||
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"It's a funny old world n emotions are even funnier. I saw a flash of jel off my - wanking buddy last nite. It made me feel good on one hand but on the other I feel a bit weirded out xxx" I have never seen it with any one yet I don't think I would like to watch it and feel I had some part in them been upset or unhappy | |||
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" I don't think you can steal women, that's called kidnapping. "  | |||
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"I'm ok with emotions in my swinging. I let people know that up front and if people aren't ok with that then we don't have sex. I don't always have feelings for people, and people don't always have feelings for me. But sometimes I do, and sometimes they do. And that's ok, we just handle it like the mature adults that we are. Pretending that I don't ever have feelings for people I'm intimate with would be wrong and would be lying to those people. And I don't want to be a liar. Not everyone is the same, mind you." well every thing you said iam with you but I would try to stop the feelings before they start just keep my head in the game so to speak or put my cock in charge lol | |||
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"Don't worry guys not trying to steal your other half's I don't think you can steal women, that's called kidnapping. If they want to leave their partner for you, that's generally voluntary. "Welll a big bag can help lol and no I would Never want to break any one up ied feel so fucking bad about it | |||
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" I don't think you can steal women, that's called kidnapping. "finneeee you lot never let me have any fun lol | |||
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"I have sex weekly with the wife of a couple, sometimes mfm, sometimes 121. This, we have done for the last 18 months or so. Other than liking them and getting on with them, there is no emotion between the two of us. Certainly not in the way the op is discussing. It couldn't work if there was. The dynamics between two single people could be different and I guess if they met regularly then an emotional attachment could be formed. But this would have to be by both parties to work. It may be unwanted by one party which would be no different to playing with a couple. I also played with one couple for eight years. No emotional attachment there either." well that's good you have set lines in your head and stuck to them I can do it but as you say find it harder with other singles a couple I myself could not or would not but I do still think of the what ifs and such | |||
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"I have sex weekly with the wife of a couple, sometimes mfm, sometimes 121. This, we have done for the last 18 months or so. Other than liking them and getting on with them, there is no emotion between the two of us. Certainly not in the way the op is discussing. It couldn't work if there was. The dynamics between two single people could be different and I guess if they met regularly then an emotional attachment could be formed. But this would have to be by both parties to work. It may be unwanted by one party which would be no different to playing with a couple. I also played with one couple for eight years. No emotional attachment there either." For what it's worth - not all couples are allergic to feelings or emotions. I like to think that all my regular sex friends are rather fond of me and feel some kind of emotional bond towards me. Otherwise we wouldn't see each other regularly, we'd just fuck strangers all the time. | |||
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"I'm ok with emotions in my swinging. I let people know that up front and if people aren't ok with that then we don't have sex. I don't always have feelings for people, and people don't always have feelings for me. But sometimes I do, and sometimes they do. And that's ok, we just handle it like the mature adults that we are. Pretending that I don't ever have feelings for people I'm intimate with would be wrong and would be lying to those people. And I don't want to be a liar. Not everyone is the same, mind you.well every thing you said iam with you but I would try to stop the feelings before they start just keep my head in the game so to speak or put my cock in charge lol" I don't think bottling up emotions and feelings is very healthy to be honest. | |||
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"I recon there is jealousy between couples no daubt, like it is generally easier for the man seeing his wife having fun, but the woman wouldn't find it as easy seeing her hubby having fun with another woman. it could happen with either and iam sure many couples have gone done it then found it is not for them " That is right as well | |||
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"I recon there is jealousy between couples no daubt, like it is generally easier for the man seeing his wife having fun, but the woman wouldn't find it as easy seeing her hubby having fun with another woman. I think you're wrong here, Shag. I think plenty of women like seeing their partner having fun with someone else and that there are plenty of men who wouldn't want to see their partner with someone else. As for the OP, it isn't something Marc and I have had to deal with and I don't see it becoming an issue. If it ever were an issue with Marc then it would crush me but then I think it would have signified bigger problems in our own relationship. -Courtney " Good point and yes about half and half there as well. | |||
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"I'm ok with emotions in my swinging. I let people know that up front and if people aren't ok with that then we don't have sex. I don't always have feelings for people, and people don't always have feelings for me. But sometimes I do, and sometimes they do. And that's ok, we just handle it like the mature adults that we are. Pretending that I don't ever have feelings for people I'm intimate with would be wrong and would be lying to those people. And I don't want to be a liar. Not everyone is the same, mind you.well every thing you said iam with you but I would try to stop the feelings before they start just keep my head in the game so to speak or put my cock in charge lol I don't think bottling up emotions and feelings is very healthy to be honest." It's not healthy and it has been proven but a time and place I let mine out in other ways or at lest not round people. | |||
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"I have sex weekly with the wife of a couple, sometimes mfm, sometimes 121. This, we have done for the last 18 months or so. Other than liking them and getting on with them, there is no emotion between the two of us. Certainly not in the way the op is discussing. It couldn't work if there was. The dynamics between two single people could be different and I guess if they met regularly then an emotional attachment could be formed. But this would have to be by both parties to work. It may be unwanted by one party which would be no different to playing with a couple. I also played with one couple for eight years. No emotional attachment there either." | |||
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"To me sex is like what the gym is for others. It's a recreational activity with no emotional attachment and it can work you up into a good sweat the harder you work at it. I need a connection with the people I fuck but it isn't an emotional one. " that is most lightly the best way to think of it. I enjoy the meet and greet and getting on with every one and just have fun if we fuck then Yey if not oh well but I always have my head in the game so to speak and know how things are | |||
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"I can see the line between having sex with some one and it been all about the sex or body or how dirty you both are but I get worried even scared about getting emosionly attached to some one and even more so if it's some ones gf or wife. Been a single guy iam sure it not as hard to deal with as if you are in a clp and watching your other half having fun and worrying. I think if I had a mrs I could take her swinging and let her have sex and have fun and it would not hurt me yet if I felt she was starting to grow feelings for some one that would rip me apart " If your worried about getting attached to people just don't meet people regular, its going to be pretty hard to fall for a one off meet | |||
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"To me sex is like what the gym is for others. It's a recreational activity with no emotional attachment and it can work you up into a good sweat the harder you work at it. I need a connection with the people I fuck but it isn't an emotional one. " I wonder if what you call 'a connection' is what I refer to as 'emotion'. | |||
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"I can see the line between having sex with some one and it been all about the sex or body or how dirty you both are but I get worried even scared about getting emosionly attached to some one and even more so if it's some ones gf or wife. Been a single guy iam sure it not as hard to deal with as if you are in a clp and watching your other half having fun and worrying. I think if I had a mrs I could take her swinging and let her have sex and have fun and it would not hurt me yet if I felt she was starting to grow feelings for some one that would rip me apart If your worried about getting attached to people just don't meet people regular, its going to be pretty hard to fall for a one off meet " Iam not fully worried it's more some thing that played out in my head is all I go to a club a lot and meet lots of diffrent people and enjoy seeing them and love having a drink and chat and if I am lucky a play but I don't see any of them as more then friends | |||
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"I have sex weekly with the wife of a couple, sometimes mfm, sometimes 121. This, we have done for the last 18 months or so. Other than liking them and getting on with them, there is no emotion between the two of us. Certainly not in the way the op is discussing. It couldn't work if there was. The dynamics between two single people could be different and I guess if they met regularly then an emotional attachment could be formed. But this would have to be by both parties to work. It may be unwanted by one party which would be no different to playing with a couple. I also played with one couple for eight years. No emotional attachment there either. For what it's worth - not all couples are allergic to feelings or emotions. I like to think that all my regular sex friends are rather fond of me and feel some kind of emotional bond towards me. Otherwise we wouldn't see each other regularly, we'd just fuck strangers all the time." I agree that to have regular sex with someone, you need to like them. Otherwise you wouldn't go back. But that is a friendship, is it not. Fwb, fbs that sort of thing. Something that trust is built around. But that doesn't involve the depth of emotion the op is thinking about. | |||
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"To me sex is like what the gym is for others. It's a recreational activity with no emotional attachment and it can work you up into a good sweat the harder you work at it. I need a connection with the people I fuck but it isn't an emotional one. I wonder if what you call 'a connection' is what I refer to as 'emotion'." I would assume that if you have a connection with someone that it is either a physical or mental attraction which is somewhat an emotion. Emotions doesn't mean that you will fall in love with that person but I do believe you can be emotionally connected to a person without love...or deep feelings | |||
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"I agree that to have regular sex with someone, you need to like them. Otherwise you wouldn't go back. But that is a friendship, is it not. Fwb, fbs that sort of thing. Something that trust is built around. But that doesn't involve the depth of emotion the op is thinking about. " I have feelings and emotions for my friends. If I didn't they'd just be random people I knew that I didn't really care about. | |||
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"I have sex weekly with the wife of a couple, sometimes mfm, sometimes 121. This, we have done for the last 18 months or so. Other than liking them and getting on with them, there is no emotion between the two of us. Certainly not in the way the op is discussing. It couldn't work if there was. The dynamics between two single people could be different and I guess if they met regularly then an emotional attachment could be formed. But this would have to be by both parties to work. It may be unwanted by one party which would be no different to playing with a couple. I also played with one couple for eight years. No emotional attachment there either. For what it's worth - not all couples are allergic to feelings or emotions. I like to think that all my regular sex friends are rather fond of me and feel some kind of emotional bond towards me. Otherwise we wouldn't see each other regularly, we'd just fuck strangers all the time. I agree that to have regular sex with someone, you need to like them. Otherwise you wouldn't go back. But that is a friendship, is it not. Fwb, fbs that sort of thing. Something that trust is built around. But that doesn't involve the depth of emotion the op is thinking about. " | |||
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"OP is clearly a lonely man whim requires a life partner. Hence his apprehension of falling fir someone's partner, if he should start up a regular swinging meet. That's how we read it.... "wow not sure what to say to that kinda put me down as a loser who is socialy stunted and has no luck with females | |||
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"To me sex is like what the gym is for others. It's a recreational activity with no emotional attachment and it can work you up into a good sweat the harder you work at it. I need a connection with the people I fuck but it isn't an emotional one. I wonder if what you call 'a connection' is what I refer to as 'emotion'. I would assume that if you have a connection with someone that it is either a physical or mental attraction which is somewhat an emotion. Emotions doesn't mean that you will fall in love with that person but I do believe you can be emotionally connected to a person without love...or deep feelings " I think you described it well. I suspect I take things too literally. The concept of 'no feelings allowed' really puts me off. Generally I would like the possibility for sex meets to develop into friendships over time, and for that you need feelings and emotions to a certain extent. | |||
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"We're human so we have emotions. I couldn't just fuck someone. I always have feelings for anyone I'm with. Not love or in love but a genuine attraction chemistry and caring. I hope they feel the same for me. It's all about boundaries. " yeah fully get that it is all about boundaries | |||
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"To me sex is like what the gym is for others. It's a recreational activity with no emotional attachment and it can work you up into a good sweat the harder you work at it. I need a connection with the people I fuck but it isn't an emotional one. I wonder if what you call 'a connection' is what I refer to as 'emotion'. I would assume that if you have a connection with someone that it is either a physical or mental attraction which is somewhat an emotion. Emotions doesn't mean that you will fall in love with that person but I do believe you can be emotionally connected to a person without love...or deep feelings I think you described it well. I suspect I take things too literally. The concept of 'no feelings allowed' really puts me off. Generally I would like the possibility for sex meets to develop into friendships over time, and for that you need feelings and emotions to a certain extent." I agree with you fully. I think I have done the whole "no feelings" allowed thing and had some great meets now I want something a bit more stable not love etc but a solid friendship which is pretty hard to find. | |||
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"OP is clearly a lonely man whim requires a life partner. Hence his apprehension of falling fir someone's partner, if he should start up a regular swinging meet. That's how we read it.... wow not sure what to say to that kinda put me down as a loser who is socialy stunted and has no luck with females "Just remember your introduction forum post a few weeks ago fella..... Kinda remember your lack of confidence over your choice of a multitude of face piercings. So from that to this forum topic, kinda feel that you are truly just looking for love fella.... And all power to you!!! | |||
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"To me sex is like what the gym is for others. It's a recreational activity with no emotional attachment and it can work you up into a good sweat the harder you work at it. I need a connection with the people I fuck but it isn't an emotional one. I wonder if what you call 'a connection' is what I refer to as 'emotion'." I don't know you so I can't say. But a connection to me is of an intelligent one. Someone with which I can easily talk to. If I can't get along with a person then I can't go any further with them. | |||
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"OP is clearly a lonely man whim requires a life partner. Hence his apprehension of falling fir someone's partner, if he should start up a regular swinging meet. That's how we read it.... wow not sure what to say to that kinda put me down as a loser who is socialy stunted and has no luck with females
Just remember your introduction forum post a few weeks ago fella..... Kinda remember your lack of confidence over your choice of a multitude of face piercings. So from that to this forum topic, kinda feel that you are truly just looking for love fella.... And all power to you!!!"yes i will not lie I have lots of confidence issues. lonely maybe some times but trust me last thing I need in my life is love. Love comes with other things that are no where near as nice and let's not forget nothing lasts forever | |||
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"OP don't put any labels on things don't overthink things I think you need to chill out and not worry on the what if's in swinging...enjoy it and see if it's for you and you never know what's around the corner in this mad world we call life. Get yourself to socials etc...totally off topic I know but I just thought I'd be nice "oh I know I over think and run laps in my head I do it over every thing and I go to clubs 2 times a week so I do get to meet lots of diffrent people and for now I am very happy with swinging | |||
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"why are you worrying about ifs as in I worry about it but iam not worryed about it if that makes any sense and I guess as I push others away so I don't get hurt. Emotions shouldn't really come into it.... If they do then maybe you are on the wrong site "you say that like you`re emotionless.. saying that ive read some of your other posts  | |||
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