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Kids come out with the funniest things

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

My niece as been here today and she's 7 she said that someone at her school came out of the toilets and said "it smells of ass in there"

I've not laughed as much in ages. Bless her.

How do they kids know what to say?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Must be about 15yrs ago now, our son came home from school and said a boy in his class had been sent home for swearing, he said "I didn't know bollocks was a naughty word"

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By *ornwall-maleMan
over a year ago

newquay

ha h avery funny you guys.

kids are so funny when they come out with stuff.

my son when he was about 5 was at home so i rang his mums mobile as was not sure where she was.

i spoke to my son and after a few mins i said, where are you little man (thats what i call him) and he said, im here dad! ha ha assuming i just knew where he was on a mobile lol x

i laughed for ages at the little man x

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

when my nphew was about 4 his mum was giving him a bath and ashing all the important bits as you do, after washing his bottom he turned round to her and said with a cheeky grin - "now smell your fingers"

also the other night we were reading him a story in bed and he was fiddling alot with his 'winky' when he said "mummy, my winky is weird, it wont got down - its got a bone in it"

he is 6 lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My worst ever embarrassing moment was what my son said to his nursery teacher one morning

Every morning we would go into the loo , with the carriage clock, and I put the clock on the loo and show him how long we had to get ready. Id get him washed and dressed first and then hurredly pull on my clothes.

I was just wearing bra and knickers and sat down on the loo seat to pull on tights and the sharp corner of the carriage clock cut the top of my thigh.

The first thing my son said to his teacher when she said good morning to him was "Mummy sat on a cock and it made her bottom bleed". I lost my power of speech for about 2 minutes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My daughter would of been about 3 or 4 and she was jumpping on the bed while I was dozing and while she was jumpping she was saying F**k F**k F**K so I said that isn't a nice word please don't use it so she goes 'Yes mummy I'll change it@ so she starts jumpping again going Bloody bloody bloody. I thought I just can't win.

It was so funny she din't think that they were bad words

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know you're not supposed to laugh when kids swear but I find it fookin hilarious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When my daughter was about 5 or 6 a friends husband came round , i said to her "this is John , Janes husband "

"is he called Dickhead ?" she said innocently , friend Jane looked embarrased , not so innocently

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By *uicyhunnibunniWoman
over a year ago

paignton


"My worst ever embarrassing moment was what my son said to his nursery teacher one morning

Every morning we would go into the loo , with the carriage clock, and I put the clock on the loo and show him how long we had to get ready. Id get him washed and dressed first and then hurredly pull on my clothes.

I was just wearing bra and knickers and sat down on the loo seat to pull on tights and the sharp corner of the carriage clock cut the top of my thigh.

The first thing my son said to his teacher when she said good morning to him was "Mummy sat on a cock and it made her bottom bleed". I lost my power of speech for about 2 minutes "

ROFL!!!!! priceless!!! kids dont you just love 'em!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When my daughter was about 5 or 6 a friends husband came round , i said to her "this is John , Janes husband "

"is he called Dickhead ?" she said innocently , friend Jane looked embarrased , not so innocently "

lol, our son dropped me in it too when one of Kate's friends came round.

He said "my dad says you look like Mrs Doyle off Father Ted".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Must be about 15yrs ago now, our son came home from school and said a boy in his class had been sent home for swearing, he said "I didn't know bollocks was a naughty word" "

Reminded me of my daughter coming home from school once, i think she was about 6 or 7 and told me one of the kids had been sent home for swearing at teacher, he had called her a bloody cunt, she just looked at me and said bloodys a naughty word isnt it mum lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh and i remembr years ago we had a boxer dog that was pretty mad and was recomended by the vets to get him neutered to calm him down, so i went home and explained the situation to the then hubby

Anyway next day i went to pick the daughter up from school, she was only about 5 is that and as shes leaving she says the the teacher that the dog was poorly and had to go to the vets later, the teacher, shown concern as they do and asked what was wrong with him and my daughter just said....oh mum said hes got to have his knackers off

floor open time lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"oh and i remembr years ago we had a boxer dog that was pretty mad and was recomended by the vets to get him neutered to calm him down, so i went home and explained the situation to the then hubby

Anyway next day i went to pick the daughter up from school, she was only about 5 is that and as shes leaving she says the the teacher that the dog was poorly and had to go to the vets later, the teacher, shown concern as they do and asked what was wrong with him and my daughter just said....oh mum said hes got to have his knackers off

floor open time lol"

That reminds me of a story a mate told , Dad cooks Venison for tea , son asks what it is , dad says "its what your mother calls me" daughter jumps up and shouts "Its a bawbag , dinny eat it !" not sure if its a true story , but funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"oh and i remembr years ago we had a boxer dog that was pretty mad and was recomended by the vets to get him neutered to calm him down, so i went home and explained the situation to the then hubby

Anyway next day i went to pick the daughter up from school, she was only about 5 is that and as shes leaving she says the the teacher that the dog was poorly and had to go to the vets later, the teacher, shown concern as they do and asked what was wrong with him and my daughter just said....oh mum said hes got to have his knackers off

floor open time lol"
Don't you just love em

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

gotta love em.

our friends son several years ago as mum was talking to their good looking postie at the front door started tugging her skirt saying 'mum'

in a minute son she replied to which he responded 'mum my willy's gone all stiff'!

she, big red face & postie in fits!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My son tells people who ask where I am and he will tell them I'm in prison

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My son tells people who ask where I am and he will tell them I'm in prison "

my daughter used to tell people she was adopted lol

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

My mum was getting fed up with the constant cold calling asking if she wanting Sky installed, so my nephew aged 7, picked up the phone next time it rang and promptly answered it with " will you fuck off and leave my granny alone, she doesn't want your stupid telly" and put the phone down.

Unfortunately, it was his dad on the phone and not Sky!!!

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