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Is Your Hot Tub a Nasty Sex Pond?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

From the Dailymash - this rings true!!

Hot tub owners pretending it’s not a nasty sex pond

MOST hot tub owners are putting up a thin veneer of respectability.

One in ten UK households now has a sex pond, but only a tiny fraction admit they bought theirs because bubbles get them hot.

43-year-old Tom Logan said: “We got a hot tub because of my bad back. I’ve got a slipped disc or something like that.

“Sometimes I get in it with my wife and she rubs my back for about half an hour, it has a therapeutic effect.

“Occasionally other good-looking couples with bad backs come around, and we rub each other’s aching joints in the moonlight while sipping medicinal champagne.

“You might hear us groaning softly with the sensations of soothing pain relief.

“That’s what happens and don’t let my neighbours tell you any different, they’re just jealous, bitter people.”

Fellow sex pond owner Stephen Malley has a more honest approach: “We get in it and fuck. It’s like being a big sexy fish.

“Sometimes the dog jumps in too but we don’t encourage that.”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"From the Dailymash - this rings true!!

Hot tub owners pretending it’s not a nasty sex pond

MOST hot tub owners are putting up a thin veneer of respectability.

One in ten UK households now has a sex pond, but only a tiny fraction admit they bought theirs because bubbles get them hot.

43-year-old Tom Logan said: “We got a hot tub because of my bad back. I’ve got a slipped disc or something like that.

“Sometimes I get in it with my wife and she rubs my back for about half an hour, it has a therapeutic effect.

“Occasionally other good-looking couples with bad backs come around, and we rub each other’s aching joints in the moonlight while sipping medicinal champagne.

“You might hear us groaning softly with the sensations of soothing pain relief.

“That’s what happens and don’t let my neighbours tell you any different, they’re just jealous, bitter people.”

Fellow sex pond owner Stephen Malley has a more honest approach: “We get in it and fuck. It’s like being a big sexy fish.

“Sometimes the dog jumps in too but we don’t encourage that.”

"

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By *oo hotCouple
over a year ago

North West

Penetrative sex in a hot tub is only good for one of two things.... Or both if you get unlucky:

Thrush and/or bacterial vaginosis

Lady bits and chlorine/bromine are not well suited.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pmsl...gotta love the Daily Mash...It beats all the news sites and rags combined

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Sex pond

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a Badger recently attack mine. Maybe he was frustrated I had turned it off & the switch was too high up. Or it was the half d*unk bottle of cider I dropped down the back of it that he went crazy for ripping a corner panel off.

Hot tubs are the best aphrodisiac, love my sex pond.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pond scum floating on the top

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Penetrative sex in a hot tub is only good for one of two things.... Or both if you get unlucky:

Thrush and/or bacterial vaginosis

Lady bits and chlorine/bromine are not well suited."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On my list of jobs today to give the "sex pond" a clean.

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