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Swinging Jokes

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

How about a joke thread dedicated purely to swinging.

Your starter for ten...

My mate suggested a bit of wife swapping.

If his wife doesn't turn up in the next half an hour he can get the fuck off mine.

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By *icksfocusMan
over a year ago

Pontefract

2 couples went on a weekend away, as the drink flowed the men started talking to each other about swapping. They decided not to tell there wives about it, get them very d*unk and just swap. But henry knew his wife was on and so tim would have no fun. Anyway they decided at breakfast the next day to tap on the jam jar for how many times they had done it. So they got there wives very d*unk and swapped. The next day at breakfast henry looked at tim and tapped on the jam jar twice grinning. So tim looked at henry and tapped 3 times......on the jar of nutella

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Greek, a Russian, an Estonian, a German, an Italian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Czech, and a Swiss man walk into a swinging club

The hostess says, "I can't let you in without a Thai."

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By *icksfocusMan
over a year ago

Pontefract

very good but why am i on your block list?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"very good but why am i on your block list?"

That could be to do with me putting you on it I reckon.

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By *icksfocusMan
over a year ago

Pontefract

yes but wodered why? sits in corner whistling and awaiting answer

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"yes but wodered why? sits in corner whistling and awaiting answer"

Must have been your over persistance

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By *icksfocusMan
over a year ago

Pontefract


"yes but wodered why? sits in corner whistling and awaiting answer

Must have been your over persistance "
ah well sigh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"very good but why am i on your block list?

That could be to do with me putting you on it I reckon."

Sorry, but that made me laugh more than the jokes!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because it was a timewaster!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The hungover couple dawdled over a mid-afternoon breakfast, after a particularly wild all-night party held in their country residence.

"Dearest, this is rather embarrassing," said the husband, "but was it you I made love to in the library last night?"

His wife looked at him reflectively, and then asked, "About what time?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because it was a timewaster! "

ooohhhhhh topical lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two longtime friends sipped Scotch in a local bar and talked about their troubles.

"And on top of everything else," said the first, "my wife has cut me down to just once a week."

"That's too bad," agreed his friend, "but it could be worse. I know two guys she's cut off altogether."

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By *woBiTwoCouple
over a year ago

north manchester


"Two longtime friends sipped Scotch in a local bar and talked about their troubles.

"And on top of everything else," said the first, "my wife has cut me down to just once a week."

"That's too bad," agreed his friend, "but it could be worse. I know two guys she's cut off altogether."

"

Favorite so far!

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By *icksfocusMan
over a year ago

Pontefract

a swinging couple who lived on a remote farm heard a crash outside late on e night. They went outside to investigate and found a crashed UFO, just then a door opened and 2 human looking aliens stepped out. They took the aliens indoors and found out they were a male female couple and after a bit of chat decided to swap and went to seperate bedrooms. In the morning the aliens and UFO were gone, so the husband said how was last night? Brilliant said the wife, he made me come so many times with his long tongue, and if i twisted his eft ear his cock got bigger, and the right ear made it smaller. How did you get on she said, Husband sid it was crap all she did was play with my ears all night

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By *umpkinMan
over a year ago

near the sounds of the wimborne quarter jack!


"Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because it was a timewaster! "

I`m glad you said "chicken" (female) and not cockerell (male)!

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

Paddy and Murphy get talking, and decide to try wife-swapping.

After an hour, Paddy turns to Murphy and says "You enjoying yourself?", "Oh yes" says Murphy, "wonder how the women are getting on?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

two swingers out dogging , one say's to the other 'nice out isnt it' the other says put it away there's a cop coming

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

went to swingers party the other night a guy said to me

'have you been having oral sex?'

i said ' why have i got a pubic hair in my teeth?'

'no , you got shit on ya nose '

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A woman in a swinging club complained about the guy servicing her, "you haven't got a very big organ, have you?"

He replied, "It's not used to playing in a fucking cathedral, luv!"

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