FabSwingers.com forum: Going Dutch

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thoughts on going Dutch on a date?Fair or foul?

Just wondered what thoughts were on sharing the cost of a date?

Personally I'm more than willing to pay my fair share but I would also love to be treated. Maybe it just stems from days gone by where the guy paying would show that he could provide. But now with gender equality should that still be the case?

Anyway just a topic that popped into my head. Feel free to post your thoughts X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would you be OK if the guy turned up and said I would love to be treated so you pay ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think dutch is fair. Also it's clear from the start that no-one is using the other for their money. And if anyone insists on paying you can be a bit cynical that they expect something in return for that.

Manners and being a gentleman, it's a fine line between that and controlling a woman.

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By *nigmatic1Woman
over a year ago

A seaside town near you!

I was taken out for tea yesterday and I insisted on going halves. He wasn't too happy saying he should pay but I insisted. I think it's only fair!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's good manners for a guy to pay on the first date

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By *tillup4funMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

"Thoughts on going Dutch on a date?Fair or foul?

Just wondered what thoughts were on sharing the cost of a date?

Anyway just a topic that popped into my head. Feel free to post your thoughts X

Depends on if its a social and where you are going, if its for a meal and a drink to get to know each other(first meet) then yes I think the cost should be shared.

If its a second meet that is more than likely to end up having sex then no I would gladly pay.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's good manners for a guy to pay on the first date "

I think it's only fair when both sexes can earn more than the other to go halves.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Don't get me wrong I do think it's completely fair. But being treated would give me a wee warm tingle. Never really thought about it meaning I would owe in return.

I love to treat a man too so either with a prezi or a date I'd pay for so I guess either going Dutch or taking turns it would even out

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

On a date date I'd expect the man to pay. After that share the cost. I do that with my other half...then again he is Dutch!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"On a date date I'd expect the man to pay. After that share the cost. I do that with my other half...then again he is Dutch! "

Can I ask why you think on a first date the man should pay ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"On a date date I'd expect the man to pay. After that share the cost. I do that with my other half...then again he is Dutch! "

an advocate of going Dutch in more ways than one hehehehe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you are going to Holland then definitely share costs....the ferry alone is bloody expensive!

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I would always insist on sharing costs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The person who suggests the date (social or romantic) should be prepared to pay the whole bill. Splitting the bill should always be offered by the person invited. It's then down to each case as to who pays what. Gender shouldn't be an issue here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The person who suggests the date (social or romantic) should be prepared to pay the whole bill. Splitting the bill should always be offered by the person invited. It's then down to each case as to who pays what. Gender shouldn't be an issue here. "

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By *hocko87Man
over a year ago

dublin

I meet this lady regularly n IDE pay one week n she pays d next n sometimes I would treat her every now n then . From d start we arranged that but IDE paid for d first time . Unless u arrange it IDE always treat d lady to d first date n then see how u get on . IDE never say on a first date can we go Dutch that would not sound to good I think .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I meet this lady regularly n IDE pay one week n she pays d next n sometimes I would treat her every now n then . From d start we arranged that but IDE paid for d first time . Unless u arrange it IDE always treat d lady to d first date n then see how u get on . IDE never say on a first date can we go Dutch that would not sound to good I think . "

What is IDE ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is IDE ?"

Think he means "I'd" but his autocorrect has gone mad.

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By *hocko87Man
over a year ago

dublin

Some one said why should a guy pay on d first date ?? We'll it's down to chivalry I think but lots of women r I dependant now n hate chivalry but me IDE always treat d lady on a first date .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is IDE ?

Think he means "I'd" but his autocorrect has gone mad. "

Ok lol, I was saying it as individual letters.

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By *hocko87Man
over a year ago

dublin

Sorry I would be

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By *hocko87Man
over a year ago

dublin

It's my stupid phone at times I'm afraid

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By *hocko87Man
over a year ago

dublin

It always depends on d person ur meeting what way they want to be treated cos some of d modern ladies like to pay for themselfs .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've found that alot of women on dating sites always put on their profile go for a meal on a first date.

When I have mentioned to them will you be prepared to pay for the meal or go Dutch?

It's amusing how many arn't prepared to do that? ?

For me on a meet or first date with someone I've never met before going dutch seems the sensible thing to do in my opinion.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

If we met for drinks I get rounds in. I pay half for meals and hotels.

Why is it called 'going dutch'? Always wondered that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always 50/50 for me. If he insisted on paying I wouldn't go.

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By *hocko87Man
over a year ago

dublin

It looks like a 50 50 thing here half d ladies like to go half a on d bill n others want d guy to pay so when ur meeting a person u should always decide before u meet . That way there will b no arguments .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Always 50/50 for me. If he insisted on paying I wouldn't go.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've found that alot of women on dating sites always put on their profile go for a meal on a first date.

When I have mentioned to them will you be prepared to pay for the meal or go Dutch?

It's amusing how many arn't prepared to do that? ?

For me on a meet or first date with someone I've never met before going dutch seems the sensible thing to do in my opinion. "

I would always go prepared to go halfsies and would never expect to be paid for. And you're right it is the sensible thing to do.

Wouldn't stop me being shyly pleased if I was treated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If we met for drinks I get rounds in. I pay half for meals and hotels.

Why is it called 'going dutch'? Always wondered that."

A Ditch door is in two halves.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If we met for drinks I get rounds in. I pay half for meals and hotels.

Why is it called 'going dutch'? Always wondered that."

No idea actually

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If we met for drinks I get rounds in. I pay half for meals and hotels.

Why is it called 'going dutch'? Always wondered that.

A Ditch door is in two halves. "

Dutch door, oops.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've found that alot of women on dating sites always put on their profile go for a meal on a first date.

When I have mentioned to them will you be prepared to pay for the meal or go Dutch?

It's amusing how many arn't prepared to do that? ?

For me on a meet or first date with someone I've never met before going dutch seems the sensible thing to do in my opinion.

I would always go prepared to go halfsies and would never expect to be paid for. And you're right it is the sensible thing to do.

Wouldn't stop me being shyly pleased if I was treated.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Wouldn't stop me being shyly pleased if I was treated.

I wouldn't say no either. Sod my morals.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If we met for drinks I get rounds in. I pay half for meals and hotels.

Why is it called 'going dutch'? Always wondered that.

A Ditch door is in two halves. "

Thanks I was just about to google

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"If we met for drinks I get rounds in. I pay half for meals and hotels.

Why is it called 'going dutch'? Always wondered that.

A Ditch door is in two halves.

Dutch door, oops. "

Ooohhhh!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Wouldn't stop me being shyly pleased if I was treated.

I wouldn't say no either. Sod my morals.

Glad it's not just me lol

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

i dont tend to go dutch at the time but if he pays for one i will pay for the next one....normal restaurant for his, 2 for 1 for mine hahaha

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By *isa 59Woman
over a year ago

Newcastle

I prefer to either go Dutch or take it in turns to pay. However, if the other party suggested something more exclusive/expensive than normal then I'd expect them to pay. Likewise, if I wanted to go somewhere special then I would pay the total bill.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

only if purchasing a schmoke and a pancake.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think Dutch is the way to go. In this day and age the man should not be expected to pay on a first date. People have so many dates these days a bloke would be skint.

Of course, three or four dates in when you're getting along great it's nice to treat a lady.

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By *adyboy-DaddyCouple
over a year ago

Andover

"I think it's good manners for a guy to pay on the first date "

I think that's using manners as an excuse to get yourself a free meal!

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By *adyboy-DaddyCouple
over a year ago

Andover

I have always played on first dates.

If the other person offered, I am delighted I politely refuse, I can afford a dinner.

If the other person does not at least offer, then no matter what, there is no second date. I don't need people with that kind of a sense of entitlement in my life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems reasonable to split the costs. I wouldn't mind that idea.

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By *olden RatioWoman
over a year ago

Buckinghamshire

I always go Dutch - can't see any good reason not to.

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By *radleywigginsMan
over a year ago

northwest

My perspective (a man).

Classic case of tradition v. Overall fairness.

Many women still expect not to have to pay for anything. What would Emily Davison have thought!!

Is the Fab world different to the 'real world'? The real world being one where men wanting sex are placed at a numerical disadvantage. I would suggest that by the time you suggest a date/social meet you're really looking for a reason not to take things further. I would imagine it's really about confirmation that everyone is what they said they were. Therefore its doesn't seem unreasonable to split the bill, but sums are usually so small there's no point.

Real world: depends. Shit date, split. Good date and plans to see again, man offers and is delighted if any offer of contribution is made but should if not, use the leverage 'you're getting the next one...'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My perspective (a man).

Classic case of tradition v. Overall fairness.

Many women still expect not to have to pay for anything. What would Emily Davison have thought!!

Many women still expect to not have to pay for anything?

Anything??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Woman should pay. Even though there isn't the whole equality thing yet, it shouldn't be presumed that the man earns more so can afford to pay.

Someone said its a thing to show the man can provide, I'd rather pay to show I can provide. If not then split the costs.

However, if it's someone I meet regularly, then it's either split or take turns with the payment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It entirely depends on the relationship you have, I was always brought up to pay for the lady and not accept any form of payment. However upon the insistence of a lady I would accept for her to buy dinner if I pay for the room.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's good manners for a guy to pay on the first date

I think that's using manners as an excuse to get yourself a free meal! "

Its the make who posted so I'm getting bugger all free meals

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Male even

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I offer to pay then accept the offer to split the bill before she can even finish the sentence!

Womens rights n all that..

On a date outwith fab I'll refuse the first couple of offers to go half's then reluctantly accept while my wallet breaths a sigh of relief.....it's a scunner when they happily accept my offer to pay!

Last of the true romantics!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thoughts on going Dutch on a date?Fair or foul?

Just wondered what thoughts were on sharing the cost of a date?

Anyway just a topic that popped into my head. Feel free to post your thoughts X

Depends on if its a social and where you are going, if its for a meal and a drink to get to know each other(first meet) then yes I think the cost should be shared.

If its a second meet that is more than likely to end up having sex then no I would gladly pay.

"
does that not sound a bit like.....as I'm likely to get sex I'd feel better paying....or that in a way your paying for the sex..!

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By *enard ArgenteMan
over a year ago

London and France

To me it's just old fashioned manners to treat someone. Especially if it's me who has invited them;

And it never crosses my mind that buying dinner gives me any entitlement for anything else;

It doesn't offend me if someone wishes to pay half ; but I do think that women who are " offended " and angered by being treated have a problem.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"On a date date I'd expect the man to pay. After that share the cost. I do that with my other half...then again he is Dutch!

Can I ask why you think on a first date the man should pay ?"

One of my personal filters when I was dating. I paid for a date and he always "forgot" his wallet. Just like I don't meet anyone who doesn't accommodate as someone who I'd been seeing for a year in my home said, when I suggested we meet at his next as my daughter would be home from uni: I don't invite people off the internet into my home, it's not a knocking shop.

Experience makes us how we are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont like people paying for me but i quite often grab the bill for meals when the people im out with are not looking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dont like people paying for me but i quite often grab the bill for meals when the people im out with are not looking

Fancy going out for a meal and just before the bill arrives ill nip to the toilet then

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Yes. But I do spoil some real fit lads.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends on the nature of your relationship ...

If you were not meeting regularly then Dutch would be fair.

If you were friends then it would be fine to treat each other on occasion

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

I can't understand why any woman would expect a man to pay.

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