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Nine important facts to remember as we grow older

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Number 9 - Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

Number 8 - Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 7 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 6 - Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

Number 5 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

Number 4 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

Number 3 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Number 1 - Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your butt tomorrow.

...and as someone recently said to me don't worry about old age; it doesn't last that long

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By *aturelover2016Man
over a year ago

London

Marvellous

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By *xoticloverMan
over a year ago

newcastle


"Number 9 - Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

Number 8 - Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 7 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 6 - Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

Number 5 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

Number 4 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

Number 3 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Number 1 - Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your butt tomorrow.

...and as someone recently said to me don't worry about old age; it doesn't last that long"

Loved it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have more than two emotions...

1 - Horny

2 - Hungry

3 - Joy (usually when number 1 is addressed)

4 - Anticipation (usually when number 1 is about to happen)

5 - Sad (when number 1 is not addressed)

I actually had to google a list of emotions to help me write those

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Number 6. My husband eats loads but is still perpetually hungry?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Number 6. My husband eats loads but is still perpetually hungry? "

I know that one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Number 6. My husband eats loads but is still perpetually hungry?

I know that one "

Worms.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Number one must be nice to your kids because they decide what old peoples home you go to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Number 9 - Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

Number 8 - Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 7 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 6 - Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

Number 5 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

Number 4 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

Number 3 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Number 1 - Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your butt tomorrow.

...and as someone recently said to me don't worry about old age; it doesn't last that long"

Brill

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Excellent

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

10. Don't take life too seriously. Nobody has ever survived it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

11. Today is the tomorrow you were thinking about yesterday.

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By *atcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Suffolk - East Anglia


"Number 9 - Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

Number 8 - Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 7 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 6 - Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

Number 5 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

Number 4 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

Number 3 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Number 1 - Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your butt tomorrow.

...and as someone recently said to me don't worry about old age; it doesn't last that long"

Brilliant!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Number 9 - Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

Number 8 - Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 7 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 6 - Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

Number 5 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

Number 4 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

Number 3 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Number 1 - Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your butt tomorrow.

...and as someone recently said to me don't worry about old age; it doesn't last that long"

I'm suprised you could remember any

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow


"Number one must be nice to your kids because they decide what old peoples home you go to "

I feel like I live in an old peoples home with the folks at the moment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fantastic!

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

thanks for making me feel better about decomposing lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"thanks for making me feel better about decomposing lol"

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe


"Number 6. My husband eats loads but is still perpetually hungry?

I know that one

Worms. "

I'll try them, how many do I need to eat?

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