FabSwingers.com forum: advice about telling

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi I was wondering if any openly gay or bisexuals had any advice on strppingvout the closet I've been close a few time but then start panicing and have no idea why

Thanks for the help and please no stupid remarks please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You dont have to tell them anything.

Just live your life how you want to, if that means they eventually meat one of your male psrters they'll know. If they never do then nothings changed.

Theres no real need to sit everyone down and say "i like both boys and girls"

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

It's no one else's business if you're single.

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

suggestions choose one trusted friend and let them help you with the others

i started dropping hints, like 'shes nice isnt she?' around my friends to see what their reactions would be..

not everyone has to know..i dont want a relationship with a woman at this time, so my parents dont have to know etc.

take your time, its your business not anyone elses.. hope all is easy fror you in the way you choose to go about it xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You dont have to tell them anything.

Just live your life how you want to, if that means they eventually meat one of your male psrters they'll know. If they never do then nothings changed.

Theres no real need to sit everyone down and say "i like both boys and girls""

My advice- once you're 'out' you can't go back in. Don't say anything, it's no-one else's business.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Good advice here. I'm guessing that you feel the need to come out for some reason - maybe honesty, support, equality. It would help us a little if you could let us know op.

I'd probably go with letting pointers drip into conversation at appropriate points and stick with smaller numbers of people. If you go to clubs then you could be open with people there as a trial - though it's different from sharing things with people closer to you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I was thinking along them lines myself

My main worry would be my cross dressing thing there have been times where I have preferred to be xdressed than in male clothes

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

"I was thinking along them lines myself

My main worry would be my cross dressing thing there have been times where I have preferred to be xdressed than in male clothes"

You may find that your friends and family have already worked out that you're gay. The cross dressing issue can come later. One step at a time.

A colleague told me that her son was gay but I could've told her that I'd already guessed. It may not come as a complete shock when you do tell people. Hopefully they will be pleased and supportive.

Find a support group such as LGBT. I have a gay friend who cross dresses. We've been out a couple of times when he's been dressed up. He takes longer than me to get ready!

Feel free to pm me. Good luck with whatever you decide. Be true to yourself and stay within your comfort zone.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That's the hard bit having no family its only friends and its the big old question will they accept me or turn back on me leaving me alone again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I very recently came out to my best friend as bi. It took me 19 years to get the courage to do so, so I understand the feeling of being anxious and scared very well. I was lucky she was very accepting and told me she'd always known, just hadn't wanted to question me on it and waited for me to tell her.

The advice given above is good, one close friend you can feel you can trust, take it all at your pace, be prepared for a reaction of shock but hopefully they may already have an inkling.

Good luck to you x

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By *rank EinsteinMan
over a year ago

Burton upon stather

"You dont have to tell them anything.

Just live your life how you want to, if that means they eventually meat one of your male psrters they'll know. If they never do then nothings changed.

Theres no real need to sit everyone down and say "i like both boys and girls""

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"That's the hard bit having no family its only friends and its the big old question will they accept me or turn back on me leaving me alone again"

If they turn their back then you're better off without them. Your sexuality doesn't define you as a person, it's just part of who you are. If your friends don't love you for you then you need new friends.

Do what feels right for you. Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's the hard bit having no family its only friends and its the big old question will they accept me or turn back on me leaving me alone again

Do what feels right for you. Good luck

Welcome back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm very openly bi now... I knew that right from being a teenager but only a few people had a vague idea. Then I got with my first serious girlfriend at 20, did the whole relationship do dah on Facebook, and BOOM - I was out!

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By *roticGoddessXXWoman
over a year ago

Richmond

"That's the hard bit having no family its only friends and its the big old question will they accept me or turn back on me leaving me alone again"

If your friends turn away from you simiply because you're gay/bi, they are not really friends to begin with, you CAN find better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My daughter come out in December, have to say no one was surprised at all. I think most people know and they are worried about how to approach the subject with you, they can sense your not being yourself completely. If anything is was a relief for her and me as I feel I can support her better with her choices now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You only say when its right for you . Its your life your choice . As long as your true to yourself that's all that matters . I feel you will know inside when its right to say that's if you feel the need.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Everyone seems to be saying, "Careful now!"

My experience has been the opposite - I've been out since I was 17 - it's no biggie and I don't care if people don't like it.

The only exception was my gay best friend - three times I've tried to tell him and each time he's batted it away. Doesn't want to believe. Just says things like, "Oh that's you - you'll try anything."

Whatever.

It's not my defining characteristic.

Accept yourself, first.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"You dont have to tell them anything.

Just live your life how you want to, if that means they eventually meat one of your male psrters they'll know. If they never do then nothings changed.

Theres no real need to sit everyone down and say "i like both boys and girls""

This!

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