FabSwingers.com forum: Most annoying status updates

By *ed Lipstick OP Woman
over a year ago

Fucksville

I don't like the ones that say "Right that's it I'm leaving Fab", as they never do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Soz hundreds of messages will answer later.

No you fucking don't have. Stop it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks for a great night, you know who you are xxx,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So should they be left blank?

What is an acceptable status please?

Surely by the laws of average, whatever we put up its going to annoy at least one person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"not looking to play at the moment"

Followed by a shitload of saucy nude pics....

What the?!?!

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By *eliciousladyWoman
over a year ago

Sometimes U.K

I need milking

(Not me, but its a status that always makes me cringe)

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By *ed Lipstick OP Woman
over a year ago

Fucksville

[Removed by poster at 25/04/16 10:40:29]

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

I wrote my update by the river Kwai

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By *ed Lipstick OP Woman
over a year ago

Fucksville

"I need milking

(Not me, but its a status that always makes me cringe) "

Ewwww just ewwww

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By *eliciousladyWoman
over a year ago

Sometimes U.K

"I need milking

(Not me, but its a status that always makes me cringe)

Ewwww just ewwww

Exactly

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Need to dump my load.

All the women on here are up their own arses.

XXXX is a timewaster.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't like the ones that say "Right that's it I'm leaving Fab", as they never do

I try to make mine humorous. Sometimes people find them funny, sometimes not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Decorators in.. not playing unless you want to get messy!

Classy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I need milking

(Not me, but its a status that always makes me cringe) "

I've seen that one and know what you mean

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Decorators in.. not playing unless you want to get messy!

Classy

It could just mean that they're having the bedroom done and you're liable to get emulsion on your jumper if you pop round

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I need milking

(Not me, but its a status that always makes me cringe)

Ewwww just ewwww

Or Moooooo just Moooooo

I always just think of a farm when I see this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ranty ones complaining about the site x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Surely by the laws of average, whatever we put up its going to annoy at least one person. "

I feel that if your status is annoying one person, you simply are not trying hard enough

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

"Need to dump my load.

All the women on here are up their own arses.

XXXX is a timewaster.

I wanted XXXX as a username but it was taken. Glad I didn't now, I don't want to be mistaken for a timewaster

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We put up annoying ones from time to time, because we can, and guess what, we don't care

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive sometimes written 'Must put something attention seeking here' as my status

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Meet now!!!

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By *eliciousladyWoman
over a year ago

Sometimes U.K

Your comments always make me giggle Mr Colgate

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By *eliciousladyWoman
over a year ago

Sometimes U.K

"Your comments always make me giggle Mr Colgate

Ohh that's not an annoying status by the way! It's an appreciation of Colgates wit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I need milking

(Not me, but its a status that always makes me cringe)

Ewwww just ewwww

Just tell him to visit a dairy farm. A cluster has four attachments (cups) so you could send at least four at once to be milked. I suspect it might contaminate the bulk (milk)tank though!

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By *andaCouple
over a year ago

co down

"Thanks for a great night, you know who you are xxx,

Some serial offenders on that one.

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By *riskynriskyCouple
over a year ago

Essex.

We regularly see a local one that says something like " Any ladies want to hit me up, call 07xxxxxxxxx".

At least he'said an optimist...

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

Looking for a blow n go

Do women ever meet on here or are they all time wasters?

(yes mate, we are all here to waste your time and I made up all my verifications!)

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By *abes in the woodWoman
over a year ago

wales

I am home alone ones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am home alone ones"

But I am home alone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Want to find a female for my (male) partner to play with while i'm away...

Yeah yeah, of course we believe it's the woman writing it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm back"....

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By *ulfilthmentMan
over a year ago

Just around the corner

Sorry, I'm on leave and will reply on my return on xxxx.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seen on one single womans

"All ladies must come to my house and meet my man before I will consider playing"

How does 'Hell, no' grab Ya?

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By *eliciousladyWoman
over a year ago

Sometimes U.K

"I am home alone ones

But I am home alone

Post your status then

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

One's about drugs, or threatening to hit someone who has offended them, or one's that just fall under the broad category that is 'NAFF'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Woken up so horny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So many, I just hate most of the attention seeking or dramatic ones.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Plenty on my local status update. Mainly ones like 'Horny now, message me'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One's about drugs, or threatening to hit someone who has offended them, or one's that just fall under the broad category that is 'NAFF'

Yes drug ones would just disgust me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Who wants to wank me off in my car now" i see this off the same person at least once a week,form an orderly queue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/04/16 12:01:38]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am home alone ones

But I am home alone

Post your status then

Well I'm going for a walk now by the sea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Misspelled ones do my head in. Spell check people, spell check.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""not looking to play at the moment"

Followed by a shitload of saucy nude pics....

What the?!?!"

I'm not hiding my photos so you don't get frustrated. Get over it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any that are the same Day in Day out!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One's that belong on Facebook??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

(Insert post about how every single man is a total arsehole because some guy sent a rude message/stood someone up etc)

Which funnily enough, is 90% of status updates in my feed in my area

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By *iforfun999Man
over a year ago

Haverfordwest

Dirty underwear related statuses.

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By *eliciousladyWoman
over a year ago

Sometimes U.K

"Woken up so horny"

This one always makes me giggle (in sympathy)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't like the ones that say "Right that's it I'm leaving Fab", as they never do

Totally agree. People begging to vet their pics fabbed so they get in the top 4 annoy me...vain!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""not looking to play at the moment"

Followed by a shitload of saucy nude pics....

What the?!?!

I'm not hiding my photos so you don't get frustrated. Get over it

Haha I do this too! A guy even gave me grief for posting new pics when I'm not meeting. Even if I was meeting, who says I'd want to meet him?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hate pic collecters"

Nobody wants your pics. Behave.

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By *r Stagger LeeMan
over a year ago

torquay

If you don't read our profile properly and send and body and face pic. I will be blocked without hesitation, Thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the `im bored entertain me` ones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Overly specific ones

"Home alone from 3.15 to 3.48 for VWE black Spanish speaking hermaphrodite called Cecil only!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't like the ones that say "Right that's it I'm leaving Fab", as they never do

Lol rather like the dfs sale that status it's always on at some point .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im tired....hard day at work...anything moany or negative.....or 'princess' like.

Actually what does that leave? Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Any guys around want to fuck my wife " do my head in yes there's loads of guys want to fuck her but you have no verification and the wife doesn't even know she's on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Overly specific ones

"Home alone from 3.15 to 3.48 for VWE black Spanish speaking hermaphrodite called Cecil only!"

I'm going to put that as my status and see if I get any response

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Any guys around want to fuck my wife " do my head in yes there's loads of guys want to fuck her but you have no verification and the wife doesn't even know she's on here

I just LOL'D

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By *ittle Pocket PerveWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"Overly specific ones

"Home alone from 3.15 to 3.48 for VWE black Spanish speaking hermaphrodite called Cecil only!"

I'm going to put that as my status and see if I get any response

Let us know how it goes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Overly specific ones

"Home alone from 3.15 to 3.48 for VWE black Spanish speaking hermaphrodite called Cecil only!"

OMG you know him too!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The look at me I'm so picked on status

" I get lots of abusive messages what will I do "

My advice ... use your filters and stop acting the victim

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By *rank n BettyCouple
over a year ago

Not meeting

Single men moaning they can't get a meet, site full of time wasters etc..

You hand them a meet in a plate & they run a mile!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know who you are. Till next time.

Logged off for 30 mins and I get 156 PM's. (No you didn't. You crave attention).

Fab my pics.

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By *rp861Man
over a year ago

notts

"Thanks for a great night, you know who you are xxx,

Some serial offenders on that one."

Yep! And now everyone else knows who they are because you displayed their verification!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Any guys around want to fuck my wife " do my head in yes there's loads of guys want to fuck her but you have no verification and the wife doesn't even know she's on here

I just LOL'D

Haha!!! See that a lot..

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By *isexhotcoupleCouple
over a year ago

london

40O unread messages!

10 times out of ten that status is up from women that NEVER meet!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"40O unread messages!

10 times out of ten that status is up from women that NEVER meet! "

Or the guy that just invented a fake female profile to collect nob shots...

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By *ikki ShooterTV/TS
over a year ago

Epsom

"Single men moaning they can't get a meet, site full of time wasters etc..

You hand them a meet in a plate & they run a mile!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are some I read which make me smile and cringe.....

"thanks for another great night, you know who are"

MEANS: from a guy who as no verifications, that he desperate to get noticed, so make it up

"wife out need a fuck"

MEANS: Totally frustrated at home needs anyone with a pulse lol

"I'm not bi, but need cock"

MEANs: Confused . c o m

"No single guys" (on fem status)

MEANS: Well pissed of with the 100's of messages she getting

Those are just few odd ones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Overly specific ones

"Home alone from 3.15 to 3.48 for VWE black Spanish speaking hermaphrodite called Cecil only!"

I'm going to put that as my status and see if I get any response

Let us know how it goes

We all want to know....

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By *he-Hosiery-GentMan
over a year ago

Older Hot Bearded Guy

"I don't like the ones that say "Right that's it I'm leaving Fab", as they never do

The one's declaring they're so horny.

All the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me and my hubby have had amazing sex.

Really???? So why do u need to tell fab this???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Repetitive status

Boring

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ones for meets and then they block when you message lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here's another classic "had to bulk delete to many messages to reply to everyone sorry" !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Here's another classic "had to bulk delete to many messages to reply to everyone sorry" !!

But they just didn't wanna reply to one person lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Here's another classic "had to bulk delete to many messages to reply to everyone sorry" !!

But they just didn't wanna reply to one person lol x"

Or they just want a message of one person lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't look at local updates anymore so any status updates I see are friends & hotlist.

Some are

& some are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stupid song lyrics.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Profiles with total bollocks as a status gets my goat

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By *effrey45Man
over a year ago

Lytham

Going in for operation... Can't play at mo

Recovering from operation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Awwwww, thanks for all the fabs on my new pic" = OI, you lot, I put up a new picture and no-one's showering me with adoration *stampy feet diva hissy fit*

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

""Awwwww, thanks for all the fabs on my new pic" = OI, you lot, I put up a new picture and no-one's showering me with adoration *stampy feet diva hissy fit*"

Fibber xxx

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By *enuinedannyMan
over a year ago

walsall

I genrally just comment about what I am up to at that time not that anyone would be interested lol

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Here's another classic "had to bulk delete to many messages to reply to everyone sorry" !!

I deleted my inbox by mistake and posted a status. Of course all the guys I didn't want to hear back from decided to message again, meaning I had to turn them down again!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What about the couples ones that say " male half only playing at the moment "!!! Haha I don't think so

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How hard to please are you lot!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Here's another classic "had to bulk delete to many messages to reply to everyone sorry" !!

I deleted my inbox by mistake and posted a status. Of course all the guys I didn't want to hear back from decided to message again, meaning I had to turn them down again!"

you should have kept it quiet

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Here's another classic "had to bulk delete to many messages to reply to everyone sorry" !!

I deleted my inbox by mistake and posted a status. Of course all the guys I didn't want to hear back from decided to message again, meaning I had to turn them down again!

you should have kept it quiet "

Lesson learned

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Profiles with total bollocks as a status gets my goat

Sorry about that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Actually, the scary angry, shouty ones aren't great either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'Fab my pic and I'll shag you/give you a BJ' - though I'm actually gonna try that one next time I post a new picture!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just seen this one tonight

"Who fancys being licked out tonight "

Wonder if the he gets any takers

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By *ischief ManagedCouple
over a year ago

manchester

"Quick meet now" at like 5pm usually means the mrs has popped off to co-op for some milk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I need milking

(Not me, but its a status that always makes me cringe) "

Boak

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

The moany ones tend to amuse rather than annoy me; although I have received OK messages in the past but a moany status on their profile has immediately put me off replying.

The 'my balls need emptying' type ones I also find funny as fuck. Desperate, entitled, selfish. A trinity of woe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Phew what a night, can't wait to do it again.

Do people who post this want people to message them and ask them what happened?

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By *ed Lipstick OP Woman
over a year ago

Fucksville

"Need to unload" always makes me think of a dumper truck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Any guys around want to fuck my wife " do my head in yes there's loads of guys want to fuck her but you have no verification and the wife doesn't even know she's on here

I just LOL'D

(thumb

The personal abuse ones, digs at other members..... Says "here's one for my clique of fawning pricks..."

It's a swing site not Twitter

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By *kgeminiMan
over a year ago

Southampton

Worst I ever saw was.

"I will give a blow job to anyone who will drive me to McDonald's"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Worst I ever saw was.

"I will give a blow job to anyone who will drive me to McDonald's""

Sounds like a fair deal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No face picture with message and we will block you.... And they don't have any bloody pictures themselves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No face picture with message and we will block you.... And they don't have any bloody pictures themselves"

you've read our profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just shaved my cunt, who wants to snog it??" Hahahahaha just no.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No face picture with message and we will block you.... And they don't have any bloody pictures themselves

you've read our profile

With knockers like yours....that's acceptable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see loads of "hangover horn" status updates. You just think yuk.

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By *ali 69Man
over a year ago

jersey

Mmmmmmmmmm.... I mean what the fuck is that ? It just sounds like you've got a gob full of angry wasps .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mmmmmmmmmm.... I mean what the fuck is that ? It just sounds like you've got a gob full of angry wasps .

Yes this

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By *ayandpCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

The ones we hate

Home to ourselves umm what shall we do.who fucking cares go cut the grass or something .

If you see us out come say hi and all they 've got is one cock pic and a cloe up of her bits ,yes im sure we will recognise you from that.grrr

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By *ulfilthmentMan
over a year ago

Just around the corner

"Desperate, entitled, selfish. A trinity of woe."
I may 'borrow' that for a status if you don't mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Worst I ever saw was.

"I will give a blow job to anyone who will drive me to McDonald's"

Sounds like a fair deal

"
Sounds like a happy meal more like! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

User name John and Vicky go and read it for yourself and tell me if you can understand it

!!!

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"User name John and Vicky go and read it for yourself and tell me if you can understand it

!!!"

Lol.... here it is in English, although I'm non the wiser.

"No good road rage black Mercedes, one week later we got followed home by him. He parked up and watched us take our shopping in. We are thinking of moving house"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"User name John and Vicky go and read it for yourself and tell me if you can understand it

!!!

Lol.... here it is in English, although I'm non the wiser.

"No good road rage black Mercedes, one week later we got followed home by him. He parked up and watched us take our shopping in. We are thinking of moving house""

Lol and here's me thinking the lived on a boat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/05/16 00:01:54]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know I just saw one that said and I quote

"What's the most horrible thing you can do to my fanny and me"

Weird!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

"I need milking

(Not me, but its a status that always makes me cringe) "

I regularly run out of milk but I never see a status offering to pick some up and drop it here. Skimmed please btw, if anyone may be so inclined - when desperate I'll take any fat/cream measurement.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine is bad... And also out of date!!

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I should probably pay more attention but life's too short as it is

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By *eneral HysteriaMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

"I don't like the ones that say "Right that's it I'm leaving Fab", as they never do

Why do they do that?

Why don't just do one instead?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hahahaha this!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it the weekend yet"?

No,it's Tuesday you twat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"X sleeps till (whatever)"

Fuck

Right

Off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Overly specific ones

"Home alone from 3.15 to 3.48 for VWE black Spanish speaking hermaphrodite called Cecil only!"

I'm going to put that as my status and see if I get any response

I'm so disappointed that you didn't! Love Cecil xx

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"I don't like the ones that say "Right that's it I'm leaving Fab", as they never do

Lol rather like the dfs sale that status it's always on at some point . "

Oi!

Don't knock the DFS sale, you never know when they'll have something special in store...

Mr ddc

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By *nfamyMan
over a year ago

Goole

People are People don't let it bother you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The ones that people use when they confuse here and Facebook

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know who you are.

Tell me!!!!

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

""Need to unload" always makes me think of a dumper truck

Dumper truck? Which, ironically, is cockney rhyming slang for....

See, he has you halfway hooked already!

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By *anda and CatCouple
over a year ago

Male has free pass always raises my eyebrow.

As for confusing FBook with here, I once posted to Fbook "great night at infusion, met some very sexy couples"! Also nearly uploaded pics there too! Needless to say, I check twice now, and in my defence it was a good night and I was very tired.

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By *ungBlackTopMan
over a year ago

salford

haha the most annoying ones are when people write that they've got a meet sorted and what they intend to do on this meet OR when they tell us they've just had a meet and how much fun they've had. HAHA I mean who cares!

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By *eliciousladyWoman
over a year ago

Sometimes U.K

"User name John and Vicky go and read it for yourself and tell me if you can understand it

!!!

Lol.... here it is in English, although I'm non the wiser.

"No good road rage black Mercedes, one week later we got followed home by him. He parked up and watched us take our shopping in. We are thinking of moving house""

The latest one is just as mystifying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You know who you are.

Tell me!!!! "

I sometimes think this too

Sometimes i've sussed it out when both people have been on my friends / hot list

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The ones I hate are the ones that say that they are looking for someone with a personality, yet everyone on their friends list is athletic and handsome, under 40 and bi, questioning and gay, yet they are supposed to be straight?

Lol DEDLUDED

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am home alone ones"

Kevin!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The ones I hate are the ones that say that they are looking for someone with a personality, yet everyone on their friends list is athletic and handsome, under 40 and bi, questioning and gay, yet they are supposed to be straight?

Lol DEDLUDED "

DEDLUDED?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bored bored bored, this site is shit.

Ok then fuck off and leave us to it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never read em x

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By *arksMan
over a year ago

in the centre

There's a particular person who shows up in my local updates when they post a new status , I look at it and it reminds me of the writing style of a Janet and John book

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