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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I was reading The End of the Affair one time, and Greene talked about a girl, a writer, who every day passed by a barrack room window. Sooner or later, he said, this girl would have to go in there, taking all that came with it, just to see what that was like.
It stuck in my mind. I keep fucking people to see what it is like to keep fucking people when the man I'd most like to fuck has gone off sex. And now I have finally convinced myself that I am beyond the gravitational pull of his lack of desire...
But there's a gap, don't you find, any of you for whom a decent human connection amplifies the brilliance of that fuck to the last gasp...?
There is that disconcerting gap, with that intense a human experience, and no connections beyond it ... I am never quite sure what to do with it, but it has been a steep learning curve...
Coming here to fuck is fun, but there are unexpected pleasures along the way, random moments, starry skies, heart thumping, alive kind of moments when you know why you are doing it.
Sex with no context. Mayfly moments. No time to get bored and start rowing about shit. Some of you out there have the home thang goin' down and would be rootless and lost without it; but even so, the sex is pants and life has a strong pull, and you just HAVE to have it the way you really want it before you die!!!
Sound familiar?
And others of you simply make it up as you go along. You are usually the best kissers by the way ...
The barrack room is a crazy place, but then I'm sure you knew that already, all of you? |
