FabSwingers.com forum: Something a bit like an Iron...

By *ensualfire88 OP Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Okay Fabsters, Forumites and Fuckwits.

Let’s play “Compare and Contrast”

COMPARE

Yesterday, a single guy comes on the forums let’s call him ‘no longer on site’ for the sake of argument.

He hasn’t been on the site long, starts a thread looking for compliments on his ‘endowment’, and is quickly dispelled of any notion he may have had of greatness.

To cut a long story short, mayhem ensues.

Now, there are those of us (and I’m one) who thought the OP didn’t get that rough ride, and frankly, kind of asked for it any way. (wait pedants, not yet)

Anyhoo, the argument about the argument which got the first thread closed was even better (sorry, bigger) than the original.

Until that thread was closed too.

But, the stream of consciousness says, the guy came fishing for compliments, was seen as ‘not genuine’ (use your own definitions for this, please) and got a handbagging.

CONTRAST

We move on to today.

Where a single guy, let’s call him ‘camera man’ who hasn’t been on the site for long, starts a thread looking for CRITICISM.

“Any criticisms or advice would be gratefully received” in order to make a better profile.

This guy has many of the triggers necessary for a good bun fight on here. Newish, unknown, questions over ‘straightness’ and a forthright, nay demanding profile.

But today, because this guy has been perceived by the forum as being genuine, the real deal, and he is responding to suggestions made etc, the thread trips along nicely and continues to do so (at the time of writing).

There’s been some humour, some banter, and the OP has taken it in good stead. We (and by ‘we’ I mean the site users) ‘like’ him, because he’s at least interacting with both the site and the users.

We see him as not fishing for compliments, but looking for advice. And even though we’ve had a bit of a rough patch as regards ‘rate my profile’ of late, it’s all been good natured - with many of the same posters from yesterday here today too.

The point being that it’s funny how some people attract the opprobrium by their actions, and other people avoid it by theirs…

Please try to and be both balanced and effusive in your comments, both good and bad pro and anti.

(cunts, the sentence above pertains particularly to you)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

Could you repeat the question please Anne?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess some people put backs up by the way they react whereas others demonstrate a personality and sense of humour that attracts people to them.

Did I get the right answer??

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

Easy answer

The guy yesterday asked a question and got a bit of a hard time (in some peoples eyes) not about the question he asked but about the size of his cock!

The guy today asked people to give opinions/ critisisms on his profile and that's what people did.

Not really difficult to work out really!

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By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

I think there were other factors in play that resulted in the guy today not getting a sack of crap. Often its down to who posts what on. If one hyena snaps then many more do. If however someone offers positive advice it would make anyone snapping look out of place.

The reality is the first few people to post on a thread can determine its outcome.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because he didn't sound like a big headed knob like big willy man and camera man took all comments on board and actually took the advice given. His wasn't " oh come and look at my big cock" his was genuine asking for help.

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

I've only seen one of the threads mentioned in this thread... does the most recent guy come across as arrogantly as the previous guy did?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So yes it depends on the person asking

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By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

"Because he didn't sound like a big headed knob like big willy man and camera man took all comments on board and actually took the advice given. His wasn't " oh come and look at my big cock" his was genuine asking for help."

Its not your place to judge others though and you should remember that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've only seen one of the threads mentioned in this thread... does the most recent guy come across as arrogantly as the previous guy did?"

Not in my eyes he's asked advice took it in his stride and made changes

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

ffs sensy,you said,to cut a long story short.

that is probably,the least successful attempt,i have ever seen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its not your place to judge others though and you should remember that. "

We all judge if someone asks advice on their profile you are judging

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By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

"I've only seen one of the threads mentioned in this thread... does the most recent guy come across as arrogantly as the previous guy did?"

His profile could be perceived to be but and at one point the tread today could have turned nasty. Often its the intent and mind set of the people who are also in the forums at the same time.

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

Its not your place to judge others though and you should remember that. "

I don't see Janelle's post as being particularly judgemental.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now if camera man hadn't asked advice but I jumped on his profile then you can say that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've only seen one of the threads mentioned in this thread... does the most recent guy come across as arrogantly as the previous guy did?

His profile could be perceived to be but and at one point the tread today could have turned nasty. Often its the intent and mind set of the people who are also in the forums at the same time. "

Not once did that post turn nasty and you know it

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By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

Its not your place to judge others though and you should remember that.

We all judge if someone asks advice on their profile you are judging"

There is a huge difference in giving advice and badmouthing someone saying he was only on the forums to sat "oh come and look at my big cock". I don't judge a person on the first thread they put up. I take time to assess if they are an asshole or not. Then i rarely voice it on the forums.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now as I recall I am said nasty person and bully and I posted on that thread amd guess what? It didn't turn nasty, now that's a suprise lol

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By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

"I've only seen one of the threads mentioned in this thread... does the most recent guy come across as arrogantly as the previous guy did?

His profile could be perceived to be but and at one point the tread today could have turned nasty. Often its the intent and mind set of the people who are also in the forums at the same time.

Not once did that post turn nasty and you know it"

I know it didn't but frankly I have been on here far far longer than you and i recognise the signs. I am not going to quote anyone but they are there.

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

"I think there were other factors in play that resulted in the guy today not getting a sack of crap. Often its down to who posts what on. If one hyena snaps then many more do. If however someone offers positive advice it would make anyone snapping look out of place.

The reality is the first few people to post on a thread can determine its outcome. "

sorry but people post THEIR views and thoughts . the people who use the forum arent sheep and more than capable in having their own opion on a matter.so i cant see how the first ppl post will affect the outcome of a whole thread which has numerous different people posting .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because if you go back and read sundays thread that's what it was about him showing off his big knob and getting attention

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

"I've only seen one of the threads mentioned in this thread... does the most recent guy come across as arrogantly as the previous guy did?

His profile could be perceived to be but and at one point the tread today could have turned nasty. Often its the intent and mind set of the people who are also in the forums at the same time.

Not once did that post turn nasty and you know it"

although rugby,did say.the most offensive posts,had been removed.

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By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

"Now as I recall I am said nasty person and bully and I posted on that thread amd guess what? It didn't turn nasty, now that's a suprise lol"

Pull your neck in, stop looking for attention because its not all about you. If your on a campaign involve someone else or meet me in person to discuss it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Opprobrium is a Death Metal band from Metairie, Louisiana

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's how long being on here got to do with anything? Just cause you have been here ages doesn't make you know more than someone who's been here a few weeks

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By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

"I've only seen one of the threads mentioned in this thread... does the most recent guy come across as arrogantly as the previous guy did?

His profile could be perceived to be but and at one point the tread today could have turned nasty. Often its the intent and mind set of the people who are also in the forums at the same time.

Not once did that post turn nasty and you know it

although rugby,did say.the most offensive posts,had been removed.

You look back on threads and you wonder why they are closed at times. If you could see the missing posts you would know why. In some ways it is a shame as i am sure some would cringe at times but people are full of energy so you have to make some allowance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only comment I said on the post as I saw the tail end of it was was the cock that big? Go back and read it

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"Because if you go back and read sundays thread that's what it was about him showing off his big knob and getting attention "

And what is wrong with him doing that IF that was his intention?

There isn't a rule against people promoting themselves in any way they want to.

There are rules however about people having a go at other members just for their own entertainment!

http://www.fabswingers.com/content/forum-rules

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Now as I recall I am said nasty person and bully and I posted on that thread amd guess what? It didn't turn nasty, now that's a suprise lol

Pull your neck in, stop looking for attention because its not all about you. If your on a campaign involve someone else or meet me in person to discuss it. "

I don't need attention sweets I'm making a point that's allowed I think

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By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

"What's how long being on here got to do with anything? Just cause you have been here ages doesn't make you know more than someone who's been here a few weeks "

Happy to meet you in person to discuss this Dude, i can pop over to Leeds tomorrow if you wish. I will even but you a beer.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"....

cunts,

I understood this bit

Does the fact the guy today actually typed words and the guy yesterday only posted an emoticon have any significance?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry but why again am I being attacked for that post I commented on the end of it.

You need to look at who else posted and tell them the same I think

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Easy answer

The guy yesterday asked a question and got a bit of a hard time (in some peoples eyes) not about the question he asked but about the size of his cock!

I'd like to point out I answered the question

OK I answered it with a sarcastic generalised answer... but I did answer the question!

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

I do also remember Rugby asking people not to start another thread on the same subject and it is now apparent why she said it too!

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By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

"Sorry but why again am I being attacked for that post I commented on the end of it.

You need to look at who else posted and tell them the same I think"

You are not being attacked! You really want to read what you post after other people to see what one of those is. Like i said i am happy to discuss this in person in a polite manner. What time is good for you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like cunts.

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By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

"I do also remember Rugby asking people not to start another thread on the same subject and it is now apparent why she said it too!

I think at times the Mods have had to work overtime on removing things. And that thread had so much removed. The mods say time and time again not to post if you don't like something. Personally i stop off many threads but ok you cant avoid them all. What people should remember is that everyone was new on here at one point. If you got what some had on their first thread i am sure there would be less here. I just think at times it is better not to rag someone who is in their first few days on the forums.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

isnt the weather lovely

cup of tea anyone?? x x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks Big Bad

I'm Armley way.

I ain't a bad person I just say what I think camera guy came across to me as sincere don't know why. Maybe it's me then you get others that ask advice then attack when you do. At the end of the day we were all new once it's hard on here I for one know that.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"isnt the weather lovely

cup of tea anyone?? x x "

Got any teaspoons yet?

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Blimey... you go away for a wee holiday and all hell breaks loose!!

Have you lot been misbehaving again?!

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

if i could just,have the last word on this.

his knob wasn't that big.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After some pointed out yesterday that I was a bully it makes you think and go back and reflect so as of today I've actually toed the line. As sassy said there's a way of saying things you just say it the wrong way x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"isnt the weather lovely

cup of tea anyone?? x x

Got any teaspoons yet?"

plenty of those..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"if i could just,have the last word on this.

his knob wasn't that big.

I never saw it lol

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"isnt the weather lovely

cup of tea anyone?? x x

Got any teaspoons yet?

plenty of those..

One sugar then please....got any biscuits?

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By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

"Thanks Big Bad

I'm Armley way.

It is hard for everyone and i can remember being on here a couple of years back when people would pounce. At times yes you may not like someone who is new but you need to give them a chance. It's taken a long time to see the back of the clique that was on here and i really do not want to see it back. Sometimes it is just good to give people a bit of a chance.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"if i could just,have the last word on this.

his knob wasn't that big.

They never are.....

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

People who start a thread with a predetermined expectation of the replies they want it to generate will inevitably be pissed off.

Generally, people who post and are prepared to see where it goes (whether that be on-track, off-track, piss-take, serious comments or hijacked on a plane heading for Cuba) stay happy.

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By *eaboMan
over a year ago

marden

is this what they call a heated debate or has it just got intimidating undertones?

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By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

"is this what they call a heated debate or has it just got intimidating undertones?"

Debate is good but sometimes its good to sit down and explain things. That is where the socials really help. You can have a beer a laugh and get to know people and explain a lot easier. Swinging should be about acceptance and being friendly, well that is how i see it. I have met many at socials and found i really liked some i wasn't sure about before. I would have PM'd the OP for a drink but being blocked you can't do that lol.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"People who start a thread with a predetermined expectation of the replies they want it to generate will inevitably be pissed off.

Couldn't agree more, some people get ever so upset when other members don't share their views on things.....

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

"People who start a thread with a predetermined expectation of the replies they want it to generate will inevitably be pissed off.

Generally, people who post and are prepared to see where it goes (whether that be on-track, off-track, piss-take, serious comments or hijacked on a plane heading for Cuba) stay happy."

I agree with this.

I think I have a pretty good idea how the OP wanted his thread to turn out, and it seemed to me that when it didn't go as expected, he just threw his toys out of his pram.

Would everyone still be up in arms if the guy had just taken it on the chin, laughed it off or played along and not deleted his account? Are the claims of bullying only being made because he left? Or would the comments have still been seen that way regardless?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All hail the wannabe moderators - I think I've seen them all show their faces in this thread.

Sits back down again and watches

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

"is this what they call a heated debate or has it just got intimidating undertones?

If you're buying beers, when are you next in Swindon, Big Bad...?

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"All hail the wannabe moderators - I think I've seen them all show their faces in this thread.

Sits back down again and watches

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"is this what they call a heated debate or has it just got intimidating undertones?

If you're buying beers, when are you next in Swindon, Big Bad...?

"
you aint getting one cuz ya laffed at my predicament

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"All hail the wannabe moderators - I think I've seen them all show their faces in this thread.

Sits back down again and watches

Or could that just be people who would rather see the forums staying a fun place to visit?

Sits back down again and waits for the next person to try and feed the flames!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"is this what they call a heated debate or has it just got intimidating undertones?

Alternatively you were acting in an opprobrium manner, then back tracking, turning what I initially saw as a threat into a casual offer of a friendly pint down the pub.

misinterpretations afoot lol

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By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

"is this what they call a heated debate or has it just got intimidating undertones?

If you're buying beers, when are you next in Swindon, Big Bad...?

I am not that way for a while but if your at Red, White and Blue i will get you one

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

"All hail the wannabe moderators - I think I've seen them all show their faces in this thread.

Sits back down again and watches

do you think i've got a chance.

i can be strict,when i want.

get of that CHAIR!!!!.

what do you think.

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By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

"is this what they call a heated debate or has it just got intimidating undertones?

Alternatively you were acting in an opprobrium manner, then back tracking, turning what I initially saw as a threat into a casual offer of a friendly pint down the pub.

misinterpretations afoot lol

I wondered when you would pop your head up. I think we all know who you are. Possibly the pm's you send round about the regulars to newbies give you away.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

Have to add this though.....it is possible to enter into debate, sometimes heated debate, without handing out abuse.

If you can't hold your ground in a debate and instead resort to bitchiness and nasty personal remarks then you end up looking foolish.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"All hail the wannabe moderators - I think I've seen them all show their faces in this thread.

Sits back down again and watches

If you are seeing faces in this thread you have probably taken too many blood pressure tablets.

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

"you aint getting one cuz ya laffed at my predicament

ahem... I don't know what you're on about

"I am not that way for a while but if your at Red, White and Blue i will get you one

Nice - I'll remind you of that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Acceptance does seem to be in short supply at times .....

And I can`t quite understand the obsession with micro analysing profiles ... I just accept its the crack here ...

Its an interesting question by the OP...a sociologists raison d`etre...

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I like to sit back, watch and draw my own conclusions

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By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

"Have to add this though.....it is possible to enter into debate, sometimes heated debate, without handing out abuse.

If you can't hold your ground in a debate and instead resort to bitchiness and nasty personal remarks then you end up looking foolish.

All for that a good debate can be just that. Threads wouldn't get closed and the like. I know for some its fun to bait newbies and older members and heated debate is fine if it doesn't get out of hand. Some of the hottest ones can be the political ones and the banter can be great its when it gets nasty it just degenerates. For me it spoils it, maybe it doesn't for others.

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

"Acceptance does seem to be in short supply at times .....

And I can`t quite understand the obsession with micro analysing profiles ... I just accept its the crack here ...

Its an interesting question by the OP...a sociologists raison d`etre..."

ffs i didn't understand,this thread when it was in english.

now some b*******,speaking italian.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

If I am in a debate and someone resorts to attacking me personally I see that as a sign that they don't have faith in their side of an argument.

If they had a strong case they would be able to stand their ground with a sense of confidence, as soon as they get bitchy they show their very weak hand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Acceptance does seem to be in short supply at times .....

And I can`t quite understand the obsession with micro analysing profiles ... I just accept its the crack here ...

Its an interesting question by the OP...a sociologists raison d`etre...

ffs i didn't understand,this thread when it was in english.

now some b*******,speaking italian.

haha just rolled of this buggers tongue ...a french kiss

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

"I was pissing by the door when I heard a shat."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting innit ...

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

Irony?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone fancy ironing for me

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"Irony?"

enlighten us Monkey

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By *ensualfire88 OP Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Irony?"

Bingo.

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

"Irony?"

My mate told me that I just don't understand irony.

Which was ironic because we were at a bus stop at the time.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Irony?

Bingo."

Make ya feckin' mind up!

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

"Irony?

Bingo."

who would have thought.

jeeeez,you'r a right cad sensy.

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"Irony?

Bingo."

What do I win?

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Irony?

Bingo.

What do I win?"

A blow job? How creamy is your cum?

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"Irony?

Bingo.

What do I win?

A blow job? How creamy is your cum?

Is there some sort of cream-ometer I could buy to give you an accurate reading?

Just off the top of my head and not knowing the measuring system I would probably think it's a 'B'?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The reality is the first few people to post on a thread can determine its outcome. "

yes

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

The End.

I asked yesterday for this subject to be dropped as the outcome is never good.

Please drop it and all enjoy the forums how you want to and keep within the rules.

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