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Settling

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Have any of you ever settled for a relationship with someone who was nice or on paper looked to be a good match and then later fallen for them.

I am surrounded by people who seem to settle for someone rather than be alone. Maybe it's an age thing. Maybe it's a confidence thing.

I want it all not just the best compromise I can fine at the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No good comes from settling, trust me

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Have any of you ever settled for a relationship with someone who was nice or on paper looked to be a good match and then later fallen for them.

I am surrounded by people who seem to settle for someone rather than be alone. Maybe it's an age thing. Maybe it's a confidence thing.

I want it all not just the best compromise I can fine at the time."

No, I can't do it - never could, never will. I want all the bells AND all the whistles!

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

Not only would I not settle. I have NEVER settled.

And currently do not have any interest in a relationship.

Very happy rowing my own canoe.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I quoted this before but it bears repeating:

"Fall in love with someone who will take care of your heart and keep it safe from harm. Someone who opens up their soul and doesn’t keep any secrets from you. Someone who brings you happiness and makes you laugh.

Fall in love with someone who enjoys spending time with you, even if it’s just doing chores. Someone who loves you for who you are and not for what you could be. Someone who treats you like the most important person in the world.

Fall in love with someone who only has eyes for you, who choses not to be distracted by anyone else. Someone who is emotionally whole. Someone who has learned that the way of love is to give unconditionally without holding anything back."

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

My best friend through secondary school was a 'must have a man, any man, as long as he's mine' kind of person.

Caught up with her on Facebook last year. She's still the same. Only this time she got pregnant and married him. 4 kids later and every day her status is a whinge about him.

But she 'doesn't understand how I can be happy being single'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/04/16 18:09:53]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't want to settle or be in a relationship. I have always been single as I prefer my own company and as well I am too busy with bodybuilding, single life is the best

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I quoted this before but it bears repeating:

"Fall in love with someone who will take care of your heart and keep it safe from harm. Someone who opens up their soul and doesn’t keep any secrets from you. Someone who brings you happiness and makes you laugh.

Fall in love with someone who enjoys spending time with you, even if it’s just doing chores. Someone who loves you for who you are and not for what you could be. Someone who treats you like the most important person in the world.

Fall in love with someone who only has eyes for you, who choses not to be distracted by anyone else. Someone who is emotionally whole. Someone who has learned that the way of love is to give unconditionally without holding anything back."

"

Exactly xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My best friend through secondary school was a 'must have a man, any man, as long as he's mine' kind of person.

Caught up with her on Facebook last year. She's still the same. Only this time she got pregnant and married him. 4 kids later and every day her status is a whinge about him.

But she 'doesn't understand how I can be happy being single'."

And so many people feel the same. I'd be lying if I didn't say I had stayed in relationships longer than I should have but I have always started out adoring them.

Yes I get lonely at times and miss having a man but now it is about me. I am currently seeing someone but the distance is a killer. It's been 2 months but it shouldn't be this hard. So a quick chat with him and see if there is any way we can resolve it. If not then I'll be single again.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/04/16 18:31:31]

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman
over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales

I settled once. Would never do it again. I was scared I'd be left on the shelf. I've now come to realise I'd rather be on the shelf and happy than with someone and be unhappy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I quoted this before but it bears repeating:

"Fall in love with someone who will take care of your heart and keep it safe from harm. Someone who opens up their soul and doesn’t keep any secrets from you. Someone who brings you happiness and makes you laugh.

Fall in love with someone who enjoys spending time with you, even if it’s just doing chores. Someone who loves you for who you are and not for what you could be. Someone who treats you like the most important person in the world.

Fall in love with someone who only has eyes for you, who choses not to be distracted by anyone else. Someone who is emotionally whole. Someone who has learned that the way of love is to give unconditionally without holding anything back."

Exactly xxx"

Indeed exactly this . Been single 14 years and very ready for this to happen but will never settle ever ever again , life's far to important to not reach for the stars

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have any of you ever settled for a relationship with someone who was nice or on paper looked to be a good match and then later fallen for them.

I am surrounded by people who seem to settle for someone rather than be alone. Maybe it's an age thing. Maybe it's a confidence thing.

I want it all not just the best compromise I can fine at the time."

How do you know they settled though? Have they told you?

Some people just don't like being alone and can't handle it.

I settled for my first husband. That marriage lasted 4 months. He was a very nice guy. Which made it harder leaving. I remember walking up the aisle thinking "if this is wrong, I can always get divorced".

Then I got married again (and thought walking up the aisle - omg I can't believe I'm about to marry him!!!). 10 years now. He's amazing. I got it right this time.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

How do you know they settled though? Have they told you?

Some people just don't like being alone and can't handle it."

One of my best friends is always nagging her partner to change as he isn't her type. Poor sod would move heaven and earth for her and she barely likes him (and it was always like that right from the start.) Another is constantly cheating because her and her partner are not sexually compatible (and she knew this right from the start). Fine if there is substance to the relationship but she wanted him as he would be a good dad.

And a third who the longest in her life she has been single is 7 weeks. 7 weeks!!!!! Has to be with anyone x

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By *lice_in_BlunderlandWoman
over a year ago

Staffordshire


"I settled once. Would never do it again. I was scared I'd be left on the shelf. I've now come to realise I'd rather be on the shelf and happy than with someone and be unhappy"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm the other way round, I settled twice for guys because I was desperate to have someone, now I'd rather be single than settle for anyone just so I don't grow old in my own

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

happy to be single and singularly happy...

I am also happy in my company too...which helps

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By *ust MonicaWoman
over a year ago

CAMBRIDGESHIRE


"I don't want to settle or be in a relationship. I have always been single as I prefer my own company and as well I am too busy with bodybuilding, single life is the best "

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe


"I quoted this before but it bears repeating:

"Fall in love with someone who will take care of your heart and keep it safe from harm. Someone who opens up their soul and doesn’t keep any secrets from you. Someone who brings you happiness and makes you laugh.

Fall in love with someone who enjoys spending time with you, even if it’s just doing chores. Someone who loves you for who you are and not for what you could be. Someone who treats you like the most important person in the world.

Fall in love with someone who only has eyes for you, who choses not to be distracted by anyone else. Someone who is emotionally whole. Someone who has learned that the way of love is to give unconditionally without holding anything back."

"

Totally agree.

I would never just settle for someone and have never need to be in a relationship.

Though I'm happy to say I couldn't ask for a better husband than Cal. He's not perfect but he's perfect for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

being single is my comfort zone

gonna take a pretty special lady to break me out of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

How do you know they settled though? Have they told you?

Some people just don't like being alone and can't handle it.

One of my best friends is always nagging her partner to change as he isn't her type. Poor sod would move heaven and earth for her and she barely likes him (and it was always like that right from the start.) Another is constantly cheating because her and her partner are not sexually compatible (and she knew this right from the start). Fine if there is substance to the relationship but she wanted him as he would be a good dad.

And a third who the longest in her life she has been single is 7 weeks. 7 weeks!!!!! Has to be with anyone x

"

Insecurity is a b*tch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think some people have ridiculous standards and that if they chose to lower them, or "settle", they would find contentment with a partner who is perfect.

I would compromise on certain things when it comes to dating, but I wouldn't settle for bad behaviour/attitudes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

eeewww relationships ((shudders))

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I vowed when young to never settle for a poor match and it's been a good rule. I've seen it with others and I despair.

Plenty of great single people on Fab, we don't generally - I believe, rightly or wrongly - dislike being single too much.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If it came to it I would settle rather than be lonely, loneliness is a dreadful thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I quoted this before but it bears repeating:

"Fall in love with someone who will take care of your heart and keep it safe from harm. Someone who opens up their soul and doesn’t keep any secrets from you. Someone who brings you happiness and makes you laugh.

Fall in love with someone who enjoys spending time with you, even if it’s just doing chores. Someone who loves you for who you are and not for what you could be. Someone who treats you like the most important person in the world.

Fall in love with someone who only has eyes for you, who choses not to be distracted by anyone else. Someone who is emotionally whole. Someone who has learned that the way of love is to give unconditionally without holding anything back."

"

I agree, however, the "only have eyes for you and being distracted by somebody else" is a bit hard as a swinging couple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If it came to it I would settle rather than be lonely, loneliness is a dreadful thing."

You can be surrounded by people and be lonely though.

Nothing lonelier than being with someone and still being lonely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I quoted this before but it bears repeating:

"Fall in love with someone who will take care of your heart and keep it safe from harm. Someone who opens up their soul and doesn’t keep any secrets from you. Someone who brings you happiness and makes you laugh.

Fall in love with someone who enjoys spending time with you, even if it’s just doing chores. Someone who loves you for who you are and not for what you could be. Someone who treats you like the most important person in the world.

Fall in love with someone who only has eyes for you, who choses not to be distracted by anyone else. Someone who is emotionally whole. Someone who has learned that the way of love is to give unconditionally without holding anything back."

I agree, however, the "only have eyes for you and being distracted by somebody else" is a bit hard as a swinging couple "

And to those with children who they put first x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. A friend who had settled for a nice but dull girl is now devastated that he has cheated on her. He is guilt ridden but doesn't want to hurt her by ending it. I told him I can't play agony auntie any more.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

No. It's just not me. Better single than with anyone who's a poor match

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. A friend who had settled for a nice but dull girl is now devastated that he has cheated on her. He is guilt ridden but doesn't want to hurt her by ending it. I told him I can't play agony auntie any more."

He's devastated or she's devastated? I think he is only looking out for one person...himself.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

No.

I wouldn't settle for less than what I consider to be real. What's the point? I'm quite content on my own.

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

i am settled, with myself. i love my lifestyle i have no plans to change it

only when i was younger did i stay too long in a relationship that was unhealthy. it taught me not to do that again..i learn by my own mistakes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think I could settle, even if I wanted to, unless I'm with a bloke who can challenge me I'd walk all over him and lose interest in the relationship very quickly.

A few friends have settled but it's always ended disastrously.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"I quoted this before but it bears repeating:

"Fall in love with someone who will take care of your heart and keep it safe from harm. Someone who opens up their soul and doesn’t keep any secrets from you. Someone who brings you happiness and makes you laugh.

Fall in love with someone who enjoys spending time with you, even if it’s just doing chores. Someone who loves you for who you are and not for what you could be. Someone who treats you like the most important person in the world.

Fall in love with someone who only has eyes for you, who choses not to be distracted by anyone else. Someone who is emotionally whole. Someone who has learned that the way of love is to give unconditionally without holding anything back."

"
thats what ive got, may not be a traditional relationship but its perfect for us

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

i think a lot of people do. sometimes people are frightened of being on there own, frightened of being a single parent, its not always easy for some people if they havnt got a suportive family or friends. Feeling hurt after someone leaves you for someone else so you are extra grateful for the company of the next person who shows up.

my sister had a boyfriend when she was young who used to buy her things all the time only she dumped him only now she is in her 60s she regrets it saying how nice he was because she cant get anyone else, but it wouldnt have worked anyway.

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