FabSwingers.com forum: Does the babysitter know...

By *inktherapy OP Couple
over a year ago

Gloucester

...what you're up to whilst they're looking after your kids?

It's actually a semi-serious question. My mum can't have ours to stay at hers (married to a tosspot that I won't let near my kids) and my m-i-l lives in a weeny 1 bed place (we have 4 kids, ranging in age from 13 - 22 months) and is also a very heavy smoker.

My mum won't sit at our house later than about 11, 11.30 on a really good day. M-i-l won;t stay over but will sit late (night owl and doesn't work) We've been creative with reasons as to why we've been out until 3 at a club a few times recently but I'm not sure it'll wash for much longer. Hubby is thinking of telling here where we go/ why but that freaks me out - she's the kind of person who'd ask me all about it (I know far too much of her sex life - she doesn't need to know ANY of mine)

Just wondered if anyone else has told the sitter and what the sitter's reaction was?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...what you're up to whilst they're looking after your kids?

Just wondered if anyone else has told the sitter and what the sitter's reaction was?

do some research locally and find something like a salsa club that stays open late....comedy club...that gives itself over to a nightclub when the acts have finished...theres loads of new hobbies you can find that will keep you out late.....casinos etc!!just get inventive....dont tell her!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No lol and if I come back from chams with a bottle of wine with a sticker on I have been to the bingo lol or won it on a raffle. A night out for me is a night out if I go into town back for 5am same as chams.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine know where I go. My mum is still protective in the sense she needs to know exactly where I'm going, who I'm with etc, and the deal if I'm out overnight is phone to say I've arrived, text to say things are okay and phone to tell her when I'm leaving. If I stopped doing that she'd just worry and refuse to babysit. I only let family watch my kids.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you have to give a detailed reason?!!

When my parents used to look after our kids in the evening we'd simply say we needed time together as a couple...end off. We didn't swing, we'd go out for a meal, theatre etc...didn't need to give them a full run down of the menu or a synopsis of the play!

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By *inktherapy OP Couple
over a year ago

Gloucester

Oh - m-i-l is one of those people who like to know everything. If you go out for a meal - where, what did you eat (detailed descrip required), drink. What was service like etc. If you go to a pub/ club/ gig/ party - who with/why/ what to see/ was it good/ what was it comparable to? Any food? SHe'll stay and chat for 30 mins - an hour after we get back..!

She lives a vicarious life, I guess. If some detail wasn't provided she'd get huffy and then wouldn't babysit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't give details lol but I do say it's a swing meet and whether or not it's someone I've met before or whether it's a first time meet. Because I'm effectively meeting strangers off the net, I like someone to know where I am. If it's first time meet they want to know so if there's any problem at all I can phone without fear of embarrassment and say help, I've picked a nutter! lol I've been pretty lucky though, all the folks I've met have been sound xx

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

I think if your a singlw going out alone then you may get more questions asked maybe.

I onky have my parents sit for my kids or when they are at their dads so never had to give some kind if explanation.

My parents know i swing anyway so they will ask me where i am i am going ao they feel safe in the knowledge. Last time i visited chams alone i drove all the way there and forgot to text them to let them know i had arrived and mum was freaking out. I was busy playing in the club and mibile was in the room.

Next time i go will make sure i call when arrived.

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By *inktherapy OP Couple
over a year ago

Gloucester

I get the safety aspect of letting someone know the score if you're a single person - if I go out alone to play I let hubby know I'm ok etc. This is when we're out together and dealing with a nosey babysitter (who loves details about sex lives if she can get them - and doesn't keep secrets well..

) A solution would be a paid sitter, but the littlest one is still hard to settle, so a well known person is best for them. Argh!!

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By *unlovers2009Couple
over a year ago

chester

We do use babysitters and never tell them where we're going, just give them our mobile numbers and my mum's number in case of emercencies. The majority of the time my mum has the kids stay over, sometimes for the whole weekend.

We were both in the Army and so its amazng how many old Army friends we have just got back into contact with on Facebook and how many friends have had 40th Birthdays over the last 6 or 7 years

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Pink it must be hard asking for assistance.regarding sitting for the kids but then wanting an almost blow by blow account.

I guess if you said that your grateful for her sitting but dont.want.to go through all the detauls she would get the huff and you would be stuffed.

Accept the help i guess and.know that she will be asking loads of questions.

Mind you if.its.mum in law.as i read it.cant your other half have a polite word and say that the last thing they want when home late is to go through everything that happened.

Alp depends how.open everyone can be and not be nosey with it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh - m-i-l is one of those people who like to know everything. If you go out for a meal - where, what did you eat (detailed descrip required), drink. What was service like etc. If you go to a pub/ club/ gig/ party - who with/why/ what to see/ was it good/ what was it comparable to? Any food? SHe'll stay and chat for 30 mins - an hour after we get back..!

She lives a vicarious life, I guess. If some detail wasn't provided she'd get huffy and then wouldn't babysit

Blimey O'Reilly!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its not the babysitters business they are paid to look after your kids not know your personal life

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By *inktherapy OP Couple
over a year ago

Gloucester

My m-i-law isn't paid. If it was a paid sitter I'd tell them to mind their own

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By *icknDeeCouple
over a year ago

hartlepool

Up until a few months ago, our regular babysitters (Also our neighbours) were also here on Fab.

Worked out well for both of us.

M&D

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By *im53Man
over a year ago

Boldon

i had the other side of the coin

looking after a 13yr old daughter,after my wife died.

If i said i was going out for a meal with some one ,

she would ask if she should arrange a sleep over at her friends, giving me a wink lol

and a free house

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