FabSwingers.com forum: Driving

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Today, I was driving my tank along the M3, having a quiet wank in the middle lane. Some fucker undertook me. Bastard. I was tempted to fire on him but decided it was not worth the paperwork.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Today, I was driving my tank along the M3, having a quiet wank in the middle lane. Some fucker undertook me. Bastard. I was tempted to fire on him but decided it was not worth the paperwork. "
.

Muppetry!.

Everybody knows paperwork has been replaced by taking pictures on your mobile phone!.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Today, I was driving my tank along the M3, having a quiet wank in the middle lane. Some fucker undertook me. Bastard. I was tempted to fire on him but decided it was not worth the paperwork. .

Muppetry!.

Everybody knows paperwork has been replaced by taking pictures on your mobile phone!."

Couldn't get up the turret quick enough as my cock was in the way.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

"Today, I was driving my tank along the M3, having a quiet wank in the middle lane. Some fucker undertook me. Bastard. I was tempted to fire on him but decided it was not worth the paperwork. "

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By *ulfilthmentMan
over a year ago

Just around the corner

Were your gunner and loader asleep?

I'd threaten them with AGAI, or better still skiff their mugs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The important question is: did you finish?

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Today, I was driving my tank along the M3, having a quiet wank in the middle lane. Some fucker undertook me. Bastard. I was tempted to fire on him but decided it was not worth the paperwork. "

Haha!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Were your gunner and loader asleep?

I'd threaten them with AGAI, or better still skiff their mugs.

Nah, they were pissed. And I pissed in their mugs. For the "drive carefully" crew here, I did wait until the slip road. Sorry to that, erm, slightly dented Corsa.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Quite useful having a tank around here with all the potholes

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Quite useful having a tank around here with all the potholes

Helps with parking, too. And fucking off the plastic wombles.

Besides, you know that moment when the motorway comes to a standstill? I can just keep going.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

What really annoys me is when people honk their horns at me on the motorway when I'm trying to have a conversation on the phone. Can hardly hear what the other person is saying.

Do these people have no manners?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What really annoys me is when people honk their horns at me on the motorway when I'm trying to have a conversation on the phone. Can hardly hear what the other person is saying.

Do these people have no manners? "

Just text me. I do have live ammunition.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"What really annoys me is when people honk their horns at me on the motorway when I'm trying to have a conversation on the phone. Can hardly hear what the other person is saying.

Do these people have no manners?

Just text me. I do have live ammunition."

Good idea. I mean I keep out of the way in the outside lane and reduce my speed to keep safe. Personally, I think they're jealous I can steer with my knees. (I like to have a coffee whilst I chat).

Bloody inconsiderate bastards they are.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What really annoys me is when people honk their horns at me on the motorway when I'm trying to have a conversation on the phone. Can hardly hear what the other person is saying.

Do these people have no manners?

Just text me. I do have live ammunition.

Good idea. I mean I keep out of the way in the outside lane and reduce my speed to keep safe. Personally, I think they're jealous I can steer with my knees. (I like to have a coffee whilst I chat).

Bloody inconsiderate bastards they are. "

I particularly enjoy targetting the middle lane hoggers. I can't turn the turret far enough to get the fast lane coffee drnkers.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"What really annoys me is when people honk their horns at me on the motorway when I'm trying to have a conversation on the phone. Can hardly hear what the other person is saying.

Do these people have no manners?

Just text me. I do have live ammunition.

Good idea. I mean I keep out of the way in the outside lane and reduce my speed to keep safe. Personally, I think they're jealous I can steer with my knees. (I like to have a coffee whilst I chat).

Bloody inconsiderate bastards they are.

I particularly enjoy targetting the middle lane hoggers. I can't turn the turret far enough to get the fast lane coffee drnkers."

I'd be going too slow for you anyway.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What really annoys me is when people honk their horns at me on the motorway when I'm trying to have a conversation on the phone. Can hardly hear what the other person is saying.

Do these people have no manners?

Just text me. I do have live ammunition.

Good idea. I mean I keep out of the way in the outside lane and reduce my speed to keep safe. Personally, I think they're jealous I can steer with my knees. (I like to have a coffee whilst I chat).

Bloody inconsiderate bastards they are.

I particularly enjoy targetting the middle lane hoggers. I can't turn the turret far enough to get the fast lane coffee drnkers.

I'd be going too slow for you anyway. "

I can overtake those bloody lorries. Or at least blow them up. While using my mobile. I am skilled like that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was playing hide and seek with myself when I was driving the other day, had my hands over my eyes for 30 seconds, never knew so many people would be bothered - they should be concentrating on their driving, so many near misses, what a bunch of idiots.

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By *erdita Von TeaseWoman
over a year ago

nottingham

"What really annoys me is when people honk their horns at me on the motorway when I'm trying to have a conversation on the phone. Can hardly hear what the other person is saying.

Do these people have no manners?

Just text me. I do have live ammunition.

Good idea. I mean I keep out of the way in the outside lane and reduce my speed to keep safe. Personally, I think they're jealous I can steer with my knees. (I like to have a coffee whilst I chat).

Bloody inconsiderate bastards they are.

I particularly enjoy targetting the middle lane hoggers. I can't turn the turret far enough to get the fast lane coffee drnkers.

I'd be going too slow for you anyway.

I can overtake those bloody lorries. Or at least blow them up. While using my mobile. I am skilled like that."

I can't get my tank up the little country lanes so I have switched to my sleigh powered by 6 racing ferrets

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I was playing hide and seek with myself when I was driving the other day, had my hands over my eyes for 30 seconds, never knew so many people would be bothered - they should be concentrating on their driving, so many near misses, what a bunch of idiots."

Arseholes. Hope the police got them. If not, direct my tank towards the scene of the crime. My pissed gunner will redress the issue. God save the queen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like the kind of thing that could happen in Russia

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sounds like the kind of thing that could happen in Russia "

Don't you come here with that communist sympathising rubbish, unless you want a tank up your exhaust pipe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sounds like the kind of thing that could happen in Russia

Don't you come here with that communist sympathising rubbish, unless you want a tank up your exhaust pipe."
Putin will wreck you m8

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What really annoys me is when people honk their horns at me on the motorway when I'm trying to have a conversation on the phone. Can hardly hear what the other person is saying.

Do these people have no manners?

Just text me. I do have live ammunition.

Good idea. I mean I keep out of the way in the outside lane and reduce my speed to keep safe. Personally, I think they're jealous I can steer with my knees. (I like to have a coffee whilst I chat).

Bloody inconsiderate bastards they are.

I particularly enjoy targetting the middle lane hoggers. I can't turn the turret far enough to get the fast lane coffee drnkers.

I'd be going too slow for you anyway.

I can overtake those bloody lorries. Or at least blow them up. While using my mobile. I am skilled like that.

I can't get my tank up the little country lanes so I have switched to my sleigh powered by 6 racing ferrets "

I want those ferrets back by the way...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sounds like the kind of thing that could happen in Russia

Don't you come here with that communist sympathising rubbish, unless you want a tank up your exhaust pipe. Putin will wreck you m8"

Me and my mates are down the pub. If we see Putin, he is fucked. Anyone need a tank in the next few hours? On call, you know, nation and all that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Today, I was driving my tank along the M3, having a quiet wank in the middle lane. Some fucker undertook me. Bastard. I was tempted to fire on him but decided it was not worth the paperwork. "

Careful!

https://youtu.be/vjVkXlxsO8Q

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By *erdita Von TeaseWoman
over a year ago

nottingham

"What really annoys me is when people honk their horns at me on the motorway when I'm trying to have a conversation on the phone. Can hardly hear what the other person is saying.

Do these people have no manners?

Just text me. I do have live ammunition.

Good idea. I mean I keep out of the way in the outside lane and reduce my speed to keep safe. Personally, I think they're jealous I can steer with my knees. (I like to have a coffee whilst I chat).

Bloody inconsiderate bastards they are.

I particularly enjoy targetting the middle lane hoggers. I can't turn the turret far enough to get the fast lane coffee drnkers.

I'd be going too slow for you anyway.

I can overtake those bloody lorries. Or at least blow them up. While using my mobile. I am skilled like that.

I can't get my tank up the little country lanes so I have switched to my sleigh powered by 6 racing ferrets

I want those ferrets back by the way..."

Touch my ferret and I'll stick the weasels on you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What really annoys me is when people honk their horns at me on the motorway when I'm trying to have a conversation on the phone. Can hardly hear what the other person is saying.

Do these people have no manners?

Just text me. I do have live ammunition.

Good idea. I mean I keep out of the way in the outside lane and reduce my speed to keep safe. Personally, I think they're jealous I can steer with my knees. (I like to have a coffee whilst I chat).

Bloody inconsiderate bastards they are.

I particularly enjoy targetting the middle lane hoggers. I can't turn the turret far enough to get the fast lane coffee drnkers.

I'd be going too slow for you anyway.

I can overtake those bloody lorries. Or at least blow them up. While using my mobile. I am skilled like that.

I can't get my tank up the little country lanes so I have switched to my sleigh powered by 6 racing ferrets

I want those ferrets back by the way...

Touch my ferret and I'll stick the weasels on you

You are all getting aggresiive. Remember that I have the tank. And may be parked around the corner. Or on your car.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What really annoys me is when people honk their horns at me on the motorway when I'm trying to have a conversation on the phone. Can hardly hear what the other person is saying.

Do these people have no manners?

Just text me. I do have live ammunition.

Good idea. I mean I keep out of the way in the outside lane and reduce my speed to keep safe. Personally, I think they're jealous I can steer with my knees. (I like to have a coffee whilst I chat).

Bloody inconsiderate bastards they are.

I particularly enjoy targetting the middle lane hoggers. I can't turn the turret far enough to get the fast lane coffee drnkers.

I'd be going too slow for you anyway.

I can overtake those bloody lorries. Or at least blow them up. While using my mobile. I am skilled like that.

I can't get my tank up the little country lanes so I have switched to my sleigh powered by 6 racing ferrets

I want those ferrets back by the way...

Touch my ferret and I'll stick the weasels on you

Shall I release the Demons again?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What really annoys me is when people honk their horns at me on the motorway when I'm trying to have a conversation on the phone. Can hardly hear what the other person is saying.

Do these people have no manners?

Just text me. I do have live ammunition.

Good idea. I mean I keep out of the way in the outside lane and reduce my speed to keep safe. Personally, I think they're jealous I can steer with my knees. (I like to have a coffee whilst I chat).

Bloody inconsiderate bastards they are.

I particularly enjoy targetting the middle lane hoggers. I can't turn the turret far enough to get the fast lane coffee drnkers.

I'd be going too slow for you anyway.

I can overtake those bloody lorries. Or at least blow them up. While using my mobile. I am skilled like that.

I can't get my tank up the little country lanes so I have switched to my sleigh powered by 6 racing ferrets

I want those ferrets back by the way...

Touch my ferret and I'll stick the weasels on you

Shall I release the Demons again?"

Not the fecking Demons.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They aren't THAT bad...

It's the Dragon that's the issue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe you need to go see a doctor, sounds to me like you may have turrets...... Waaaaaa waaaaaa waaaaaaaa

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By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville

"The important question is: did you finish?"

This just made me choke with laughter on my vodka x

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