FabSwingers.com forum: What drove you to cheat?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

For those that cheat - there must have been a first time that ignited the desire to? Was it because you realised your life partner wasn't who you thought? You just like to have your cake and eat it?

I've always wondered if you'd forgive your other half if you found they'd cheated on you as well?

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By *horley GirlWoman
over a year ago

Local-ish

Once trust has gone, it can't be repaired. I tried after first time, managed to repair the relationship, but he saw it as an excuse to carry on. Caught again, not a cat in hells chance of repair.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i do think this can be done once and never again - people can be truly sorry - for others well they just cant help themselves - lies just pour forth without them even realising they are doing so - and of course turn it round so they are doing the right thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's simple for me, he's told me he doesn't find me desirable or attractive anymore!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For those that cheat - there must have been a first time that ignited the desire to? Was it because you realised your life partner wasn't who you thought? You just like to have your cake and eat it?

I've always wondered if you'd forgive your other half if you found they'd cheated on you as well?

For me, the game was going on too long, I kept passing go and I was getting bored. So I looked around for options. Monogamy..I mean monopoly is tedious.

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By *offee and Cream 2Couple (MM)
over a year ago

Loughborough

I have never cheated.

Lots of opportunities to over the years,

But always resisted.

Alcoholic wife walked out, and after a few months I came on here, and never looked back since!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's simple for me, he's told me he doesn't find me desirable or attractive anymore! "

This

Although mine knows I'm on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me personally if someone cheats in a relationship then the trust and respect I once had for that person is gone forever unfortunately.

Once it's gone it's gone as far as I'm concerned and can never get that back again in my personal experience.

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By *horley GirlWoman
over a year ago

Local-ish

"For me personally if someone cheats in a relationship then the trust and respect I once had for that person is gone forever unfortunately.

Once it's gone it's gone as far as I'm concerned and can never get that back again in my personal experience. "

I learnt that the hard way after trying to repair. I wouldn't again. Trust is everything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's simple for me, he's told me he doesn't find me desirable or attractive anymore!

This

Although mine knows I'm on here "

I decided it was none of his business tbh, he doesn't want me after all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She told me that she no longer wants sex so here I am, she knows I'm on here and that I'm chatting with women. Jim

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I nicked a hotel off my Auntie when I last had a game of Monopoly, I think that classifies me as a fully fledged cheat innit sis

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's simple for me, he's told me he doesn't find me desirable or attractive anymore!

This

Although mine knows I'm on here

I decided it was none of his business tbh, he doesn't want me after all "

Sad affair really but at least you and many others are seeking company. It's not nice being put on the scrap heap and knocks the confidence a hell of a lot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We couldn't forgive if either of us cheat. Anyway why would we even need to cheat?... Surely having the trust to do this together is better than any affair.

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

"I nicked a hotel off my Auntie when I last had a game of Monopoly, I think that classifies me as a fully fledged cheat innit sis

In that case I'm never playing chase the lady with you ever!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What drove you to cheat"

Probably peoples psychopathic tendencys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's simple for me, he's told me he doesn't find me desirable or attractive anymore!

This

Although mine knows I'm on here

I decided it was none of his business tbh, he doesn't want me after all

Sad affair really but at least you and many others are seeking company. It's not nice being put on the scrap heap and knocks the confidence a hell of a lot

It's not nice and I have had so little confidence for so long tbh but thanks to a friend things are changing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being cheated on for years because he didn't find me attractive anymore I kept trying to fix it but he continued so I stopped caring and joined fab about this time last year with my old profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the vanilla world most on this site are cheating.....my point is its best not to judge ppl if you dont wanna be judged yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An uber

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's simple for me, he's told me he doesn't find me desirable or attractive anymore!

This

Although mine knows I'm on here

I decided it was none of his business tbh, he doesn't want me after all

Sad affair really but at least you and many others are seeking company. It's not nice being put on the scrap heap and knocks the confidence a hell of a lot

It's not nice and I have had so little confidence for so long tbh but thanks to a friend things are changing

Good for you

everyone is entitled to some happiness. I'm still hunting for a "friend" to break my 11 mth dry spell

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a Mrs who has zero interest in any type of sex and hasn't for some time. I could go on forever about the complete in and outs of it all but this isn't Dear Deidre

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There wasn't something that went 'ping' in my head, I started going out all the time and drinking really heavily that led me to being a different person that I am today, if I hadn't of had those two things combined I'm not sure I would have done what I did back then but having said that, I wasn't happy back then, we wasn't in love we were just living together that happened to be bound by marriage.

I didn't fancy him anymore, I didn't feel a sexual desire towards him and I just didn't want him to touch me, all those things combined were the catalyst for my downward spiral.

We did come back from it but five years later he did almost the mirror image of what I did, the only thing he did differently was being open about everything and because I did what I did, I let him carry on.

That said, 18 months later, divorce is pending and I couldn't be happier with ads xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive never cheated

my ex did and after 26 years together it was over

without trust you have nothing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's simple for me, he's told me he doesn't find me desirable or attractive anymore!

This

Although mine knows I'm on here

I decided it was none of his business tbh, he doesn't want me after all

Sad affair really but at least you and many others are seeking company. It's not nice being put on the scrap heap and knocks the confidence a hell of a lot

It's not nice and I have had so little confidence for so long tbh but thanks to a friend things are changing

Good for you hope things keep going your why

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/04/16 10:34:25]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that is why many couples want to swing cos it is another way tos eee multi parters instead of going behind their back and to keep the parter in check.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wasn't happy in my marriage, didn't love him, we led separate lives. I slept with an old flame twice which led me to realise i didnt want to live like this any more, so told my ex husband I was leaving.

This was three years ago, we had an amicable divorce, we've both moved on, and are both much happier in our present relationships

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For those that cheat - there must have been a first time that ignited the desire to? Was it because you realised your life partner wasn't who you thought? You just like to have your cake and eat it?

I've always wondered if you'd forgive your other half if you found they'd cheated on you as well?

First time I cheated was with an ex when we attempted a monogamous relationship. Why? Because I was bored, bored, bored shitless. The sex was about as exciting as trainspotting blindfolded.

I never attempted a monogamous relationship again and never had the same problem again...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Curses of my jobs. Long hours in the kitchen and countless hours on the doors. So she was home alone and needed that attention physically and I was never there. Was on my days off but that was it. 10am in the morning until 1am-5am in the morning. When I got home she was waking up to go to work.

I can't hate her for what she did and as I say I was hardly home. But couldn't live with the fact I laid in the bed she had sex in with someone else a few hours previous. So I moved out and came back home.

I understand why women do it sometimes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I nicked a hotel off my Auntie when I last had a game of Monopoly, I think that classifies me as a fully fledged cheat innit sis

You despicable bstard, go straight to jail, directly, do not pass go and do not collect two hundred quid.

Sit and think about what you did.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's something I have always wanted to ask my EX husband why he cheated on me. He done me a favour tho. ..I can honestly say I'm the happiest I have ever been. Every cloud n all that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's simple for me, he's told me he doesn't find me desirable or attractive anymore! "

Well he must be mad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I nicked a hotel off my Auntie when I last had a game of Monopoly, I think that classifies me as a fully fledged cheat innit sis

Well you stole my joke you cheating bastard!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cheated on my ex husband for one reason only.

I fell in love with someone else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's simple for me, he's told me he doesn't find me desirable or attractive anymore!

Well he must be mad

Thank you

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

Seems lots of different reasons for straying,i never have and i couldnt forgive if it was done to me.However its not up to me to judge and as long as they are upfront about it ,it gives people a choice.Miss.

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By *rinkydonkyMan
over a year ago

Hinckley

"It's simple for me, he's told me he doesn't find me desirable or attractive anymore! "
..... is me mad or blind or both..... ?

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By *rinkydonkyMan
over a year ago

Hinckley

"It's simple for me, he's told me he doesn't find me desirable or attractive anymore! ..... is me mad or blind or both.....sorry is"he" mad or blind not "me".... ?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's simple for me, he's told me he doesn't find me desirable or attractive anymore!

Well he must be mad

Agreed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's simple for me, he's told me he doesn't find me desirable or attractive anymore!

This

Although mine knows I'm on here

I decided it was none of his business tbh, he doesn't want me after all

Sad affair really but at least you and many others are seeking company. It's not nice being put on the scrap heap and knocks the confidence a hell of a lot

It's not nice and I have had so little confidence for so long tbh but thanks to a friend things are changing

Good for you

everyone is entitled to some happiness. I'm still hunting for a "friend" to break my 11 mth dry spell

Why not just leave? I could never stay with someone who openly says they don't find me attractive

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

It was a dispute over who would be the banker. My friend would only ever play if they could be the banker and so after a while I got fed up and would add extra houses to my streets when they went to the loo.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In the vanilla world most on this site are cheating.....my point is its best not to judge ppl if you dont wanna be judged yourself

Surely cheating on a partner is going behind their back. What we do is together, in the same room and with each other too. I think there's a bit difference. If MrsJ went off this afternoon even to meet one of our friends off here without my knowledge I would consider that cheating. I know she wouldn't because she would much prefer if I was with her anyway.

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By *obka3Couple
over a year ago

bournemouth

"It's simple for me, he's told me he doesn't find me desirable or attractive anymore! "

He needs to go to spec savers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i do think this can be done once and never again - people can be truly sorry - for others well they just cant help themselves - lies just pour forth without them even realising they are doing so - and of course turn it round so they are doing the right thing "

I did it once, due to neglect from the other half as I hadn't seen him in three months and spoke to him like once a week if that. So I got attention elsewhere and I took it; it was my fault entirely as I was selfish. Instantly regretted it though and I didn't even attempt to hide it. Guilt consumed me and I told the truth and held my hands up to it. Never done it again cos it's the worst feeling in the whole entire world. Couldn't live with myself.

It's due to that I don't understand people that do cheat and are okay with it. I couldn't handle the guilt and I don't know how they can go on like it's okay and blame others for it.

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By *obka3Couple
over a year ago

bournemouth

I cant say I wasnt tempted to in my first marriage but very glad I didnt as I can hold my head up in front of my kids which means a lot to me, wouldnt want to risk losing what we have now, even if K said she didnt want sex anymore I wouldnt cheat love is worth more than that . But wouldnt condemn those that do as lot of factors can be involved, easy to judge from the outside

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First wife was in to the scene but ran off with a younger guy from a couple we met!

Second wife had a friend that became more over time and did the dirty.

I must be doing something badly wrong so I thought I'd try to find some fun and happiness using their method. Not right but there it is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex husband lost all interest in me. If I even touched my foot against his watching tv, he visibly flinched and moved away from me. It wasn't easy but I slowly realised he may be suffering from depression.

He made some chances in his life, we both did, and he was much better towards me, but it was then that I realised I just wasn't happy in the relationship.

I went away with a work colleague and he made a move on me one night. I didn't do anything, but it made me realise quite how unhappy I was.

I desperately wanted my husband to cheat but he never did! I really didn't want to be the b*tch leaving him after quite a short marriage.

But I had to leave.

(Met my husband shortly after and we've been together for a very long time, and love him to bits!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i never would

thats why when men who seem to have a hidden wife message,we block them

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I think 'cheat' is a rather loaded term

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of my exes said he cheated as I was away with work too often (I'd travel within Europe weekly, staying away about 1/3 of a month in total). I don't believe the reason is I was away, I believe he cheated as he found someone more suited or more available to his sexual needs.

I also don't understand why he didn't just finish with me, the deceit was the problem - not the wanting someone else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's simple for me, he's told me he doesn't find me desirable or attractive anymore!

This

Although mine knows I'm on here

I decided it was none of his business tbh, he doesn't want me after all

Sad affair really but at least you and many others are seeking company. It's not nice being put on the scrap heap and knocks the confidence a hell of a lot

It's not nice and I have had so little confidence for so long tbh but thanks to a friend things are changing

Good for you

everyone is entitled to some happiness. I'm still hunting for a "friend" to break my 11 mth dry spell

Why not just leave? I could never stay with someone who openly says they don't find me attractive "

It's not that easy, if it was I would have gone a long time ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's simple for me, he's told me he doesn't find me desirable or attractive anymore!

Well he must be mad

Agreed "

Thank you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've always been a cheater because I've never found anyone who has made me truly happy. I suppose the irony is that now I'm single (of my own choice ) i am happy. Xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's simple for me, he's told me he doesn't find me desirable or attractive anymore!

This

Although mine knows I'm on here

I decided it was none of his business tbh, he doesn't want me after all

Sad affair really but at least you and many others are seeking company. It's not nice being put on the scrap heap and knocks the confidence a hell of a lot

It's not nice and I have had so little confidence for so long tbh but thanks to a friend things are changing

Good for you

everyone is entitled to some happiness. I'm still hunting for a "friend" to break my 11 mth dry spell

Why not just leave? I could never stay with someone who openly says they don't find me attractive

It's not that easy, if it was I would have gone a long time ago "

I don't understand that at all. I think that makes me quite lucky though. I'm sorry you feel as trapped into doing what your doing x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's simple for me, he's told me he doesn't find me desirable or attractive anymore!

This

Although mine knows I'm on here

I decided it was none of his business tbh, he doesn't want me after all

Sad affair really but at least you and many others are seeking company. It's not nice being put on the scrap heap and knocks the confidence a hell of a lot

It's not nice and I have had so little confidence for so long tbh but thanks to a friend things are changing

Good for you

everyone is entitled to some happiness. I'm still hunting for a "friend" to break my 11 mth dry spell

Why not just leave? I could never stay with someone who openly says they don't find me attractive

It's not that easy, if it was I would have gone a long time ago

I don't understand that at all. I think that makes me quite lucky though. I'm sorry you feel as trapped into doing what your doing x"

I do understand that feeling, it's why I stayed 20 years in a marriage I wasn't happy in, however when it came to it, getting out was far easier than I'd ever imagined, all the reasons - money, job, kids, somewhere to live etc that made it impossible, or so i'd thought, just worked out.

I just wish I'd done it years ago.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's simple for me, he's told me he doesn't find me desirable or attractive anymore!

This

Although mine knows I'm on here

I decided it was none of his business tbh, he doesn't want me after all

Sad affair really but at least you and many others are seeking company. It's not nice being put on the scrap heap and knocks the confidence a hell of a lot

It's not nice and I have had so little confidence for so long tbh but thanks to a friend things are changing

Good for you

everyone is entitled to some happiness. I'm still hunting for a "friend" to break my 11 mth dry spell

Why not just leave? I could never stay with someone who openly says they don't find me attractive

It's not that easy, if it was I would have gone a long time ago

I don't understand that at all. I think that makes me quite lucky though. I'm sorry you feel as trapped into doing what your doing x"

Things will change until then ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's simple for me, he's told me he doesn't find me desirable or attractive anymore!

This

Although mine knows I'm on here

I decided it was none of his business tbh, he doesn't want me after all

Sad affair really but at least you and many others are seeking company. It's not nice being put on the scrap heap and knocks the confidence a hell of a lot

It's not nice and I have had so little confidence for so long tbh but thanks to a friend things are changing

Good for you

everyone is entitled to some happiness. I'm still hunting for a "friend" to break my 11 mth dry spell

Why not just leave? I could never stay with someone who openly says they don't find me attractive

It's not that easy, if it was I would have gone a long time ago

I don't understand that at all. I think that makes me quite lucky though. I'm sorry you feel as trapped into doing what your doing x

I just wish I'd done it years ago. "

I know I will go, soon as I can

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