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"I'm sure I'm not alone in having an ex who can be difficult at times. We share custody, so have to communicate. One minute all is well - the next it's like world war 3 has started. I never involve the children or moan about him to them. But sometimes it's very hard to do. I know it's not their fault that we split though. I keep thinking it won't be that long that I won't have to communicate with him any more. My life will be far less stressful. I'm always trying to keep the peace. Do you and your ex get on? Or are you bitter enemies? I don't want this thread to turn into men v women. I'm hopeful I can be inspired that things might improve one day. " After a couple of years of separation he wanted me to be his chum again - I just looked at him with disbelief. | |||
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"I'm sure I'm not alone in having an ex who can be difficult at times. We share custody, so have to communicate. One minute all is well - the next it's like world war 3 has started. I never involve the children or moan about him to them. But sometimes it's very hard to do. I know it's not their fault that we split though. I keep thinking it won't be that long that I won't have to communicate with him any more. My life will be far less stressful. I'm always trying to keep the peace. Do you and your ex get on? Or are you bitter enemies? I don't want this thread to turn into men v women. I'm hopeful I can be inspired that things might improve one day. " Things will calm down eventually hopefully not too much damage has been done before you get to that stage, yes you share custody and have to communicate but this can be done indirectly via email or text not sure the arrangements or ages of the children you have but pick ups and drop offs can be done via a neutral venue for example i used to pick my daughter from school Friday drop her back Monday and when the school wasn't an option i'd have a family member or friend do the drop off (preferably use someone who the ex is ok with) because my situation wasn't that different to yours one day fine next day WW3 so took myself out of it. Good luck not easy hopefully it will all,work out for you op | |||
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"I'm good friends with my husband even though we're separated. Neither of us are desperate to divorce as we'd rather spend our money on other things. I helped him find a flat, cleaned it & helped him sort all the furniture etc. We have a young child & he stays between the two with no trouble at all! I can't see us ever getting nasty towards each other. It tends to be his Mother that tries to cause issues xx " Funny that. My mother was the same. I moved back into her house with my 3 yr old son when I split with my ex and 3 weeks later she threw us both out because I was still having contact with my ex for our son's sake. We don't have any contact with her any more. | |||
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"We get on as well as we can. Neither of us are perfect & I'm sure I wind him up nearly as much as he does me. But we still have 2 children to co-parent for the next 8 years at least & will do our best for them. " Same here! My ex can be a selfish arse at times - but I'm sure he thinks the same of me occasionally too! We loved each other enough to have two children together once - and that has to count for something! Btw lovely - you won't be co-parenting for 8 years - you'll be co parenting for life!! Xx | |||
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"I'm sure I'm not alone in having an ex who can be difficult at times. We share custody, so have to communicate. One minute all is well - the next it's like world war 3 has started. I never involve the children or moan about him to them. But sometimes it's very hard to do. I know it's not their fault that we split though. I keep thinking it won't be that long that I won't have to communicate with him any more. My life will be far less stressful. I'm always trying to keep the peace. Do you and your ex get on? Or are you bitter enemies? I don't want this thread to turn into men v women. I'm hopeful I can be inspired that things might improve one day. " My ex-husband and I used to get on very well. We never missed an open evening, went to look at colleges and universities together, used to travel together when visiting our daughter at uni. I even had his mother one Christmas to give him a break, as he was her carer at the time. We visited our eldest when she moved out of London together and his sons from a previous relationship were regular visitors to my home. When the boys mum waw dying my daughters visited her in hospital and later the hospice with their husbands/partners. They were there supporting their brothers when she sadly passed away. That's how close we all were. He was the lynch pin, never once badmouthed his ex, always there for all his kids. His family would ask if we were divorced we were so close. If fell apart after our son's death. We didn't grieve together. No one else was involved in our breakup that's why I think we remained close and raised five happy, confident, intelligent children. They were never able to play us off against each other as we were united. Everything changed last year when he learnt I'd met someone and he moved in. Suddenly I was a desperate slut going to be used by someone only after my money and house. We didn’t talk for a year. The birth of our grandsons changed that and we're speaking again. He's a monumental pain in the arse and become a bit of a hypochondriac but he's the father of my children, this year should have been our 35th wedding anniversary and he'll always have a piece of my heart...despite himself! | |||
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"I'm good friends with my husband even though we're separated. Neither of us are desperate to divorce as we'd rather spend our money on other things. I helped him find a flat, cleaned it & helped him sort all the furniture etc. We have a young child & he stays between the two with no trouble at all! I can't see us ever getting nasty towards each other. It tends to be his Mother that tries to cause issues xx Funny that. My mother was the same. I moved back into her house with my 3 yr old son when I split with my ex and 3 weeks later she threw us both out because I was still having contact with my ex for our son's sake. We don't have any contact with her any more." That's sad! If you have children & you can manage to get on then IMHO it's better for the kids x | |||
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"Yes I get on great with my ex. We get on better, talk more and do more for each other as friends than what we did as a couple " ironically called queen of tease lol | |||
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"Yes I get on great with my ex. We get on better, talk more and do more for each other as friends than what we did as a couple ironically called queen of tease lol " That's my persona on here not in real life | |||
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"Yes i am now, my ex husband and I didn't get along when we separated but kept it civil for the kids. However a couple of years in, we've both moved on and chilled a bit, I can now chat to him like normal and we chat regularly, mainly about the kids, but we have a friendly co-parenting arrangement " | |||
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"I'm sure I'm not alone in having an ex who can be difficult at times. We share custody, so have to communicate. One minute all is well - the next it's like world war 3 has started. I never involve the children or moan about him to them. But sometimes it's very hard to do. I know it's not their fault that we split though. I keep thinking it won't be that long that I won't have to communicate with him any more. My life will be far less stressful. I'm always trying to keep the peace. Do you and your ex get on? Or are you bitter enemies? I don't want this thread to turn into men v women. I'm hopeful I can be inspired that things might improve one day. " Maybe when the kids have grown up and have minds of their own so you don't have to keep up the false pretence | |||
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"I'm sure I'm not alone in having an ex who can be difficult at times. We share custody, so have to communicate. One minute all is well - the next it's like world war 3 has started. I never involve the children or moan about him to them. But sometimes it's very hard to do. I know it's not their fault that we split though. I keep thinking it won't be that long that I won't have to communicate with him any more. My life will be far less stressful. I'm always trying to keep the peace. Do you and your ex get on? Or are you bitter enemies? I don't want this thread to turn into men v women. I'm hopeful I can be inspired that things might improve one day. " Sadly my experience is the opposite. When I first split with my ex we made every effort to be civilised for the kids sake, even had family days out together. 5 years after the split we were better friends than we ever were married, then suddenly, for no reason either me or the kids understand she turned against me and now once again hates me with a passion. I find it sad only because it upsets the kids who are now old enough to make decisions about who is at fault. | |||
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"I have no ex, Im married but we only speak about parental stuff (our parents), that is. Thats pretty much it communication wise, so if he was my ex, the answer would be no " can you remember the reason you both got together? | |||
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