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Abuse as Cannot Accommodate

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I've seen this in threads before. I cannot accommodate, not because I'm in a relationship but because of the make up of my house.

I make it clear on my profile that I only meet those who do accommodate. Which limits meets, but that's the way it is.

So why do others make such a point about it and decide I'm obviously cheating etc. The farcical thing is - they can't accommodate either.

I'll share a hotel sometimes or meet in a club. Wish people would spend less time judging and more time shagging.

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By *lla_maiWoman
over a year ago

staffordshire

[Removed by poster at 17/04/16 08:28:08]

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I can't accommodate either. If someone has a go at me for that, I don't want to have sex with them anyway so I couldn't care less. It's their bad energy, not mine.

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By *lla_maiWoman
over a year ago

staffordshire

People have to moan about something, i get it alot too, just have to ignore them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Too true, so many people judge all the time. I read a great quote a while back, can't remember word for word but goes something like this....

If you can start to understand that the behaviour people display towards you is more to do with the relationship they have with themselves than you and your values then over time you will not react to anyone.

Basically if someone is judging you it's because they are sad, unhappy, insecure....I could go on!

Leave them to it, they're the ones wasting time and energy into nothing good.

Glen x

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Malmesbury


"I've seen this in threads before. I cannot accommodate, not because I'm in a relationship but because of the make up of my house.

I make it clear on my profile that I only meet those who do accommodate. Which limits meets, but that's the way it is.

So why do others make such a point about it and decide I'm obviously cheating etc. The farcical thing is - they can't accommodate either.

I'll share a hotel sometimes or meet in a club. Wish people would spend less time judging and more time shagging. "

I support the Less judging, more shagging campain. Fraternise not critise!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ignore those who rant at you as you aint gonna meet that kind of a person anyway - stick to the nice ones

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By *istressZoeTV/TS
over a year ago

cheshire

I can and do accomdate x

I have a spare room exclusively for extra curricular activities x

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By *lla_maiWoman
over a year ago

staffordshire

"dont judge my choices without first understanding my reasons"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't see what the fuss is about. Can't accommodate. Ok well I'll get us a hotel room, plenty of travelodge and premier inn hotels up and down the country. Should be that simple but there's always one who kicks up a fuss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do you care what other people think? There's lots of things that I won't do. If people are in any way disrespectful about it, I don't meet them.

They are entitled to their opinions and so am I. Zero angst.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can accommodate but only do so on the second meet , the first is always social anyway. Then I only accommodate if I feel it is OK. I once took a lovely lady back here. A few days later we were chatting and she wanted to come here again. I said no I was busy that evening. She then decided to come visit anyway. Knocked on the door. I answered. She then let go saying I should be with her and just her. I tried to calm her down then shut the door. Brick threw the window.

I'm more careful now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey there OP. I can't accommodate (me mum is ill so, well you know), but I work outside of Bristol for 3 nights a week, I don't accommodate there either, but may considerate it.

I don't do verifications either, don't want them, don't give them . It leads to a fair few accusations and insults.

The great thing is, the members that message me abuse about those things are added to my block list and I think "whew, that was lucky"... Sometimes the level of abusive, judgemental messages can get too much but if you see their inane, abusive message as an indication of their true personality, its a bloody fantastic filter.

Happy swinging and I hope the level of abuse dies down

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By *adyboy-DaddyCouple
over a year ago

Andover


"Why do you care what other people think? There's lots of things that I won't do. If people are in any way disrespectful about it, I don't meet them.

They are entitled to their opinions and so am I. Zero angst. "

He's not commenting on their opinions, which they are entitled to.

He's commenting on being given abuse, which I fully understand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/04/16 09:09:12]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why do you care what other people think? There's lots of things that I won't do. If people are in any way disrespectful about it, I don't meet them.

They are entitled to their opinions and so am I. Zero angst.

He's not commenting on their opinions, which they are entitled to.

He's commenting on being given abuse, which I fully understand. "

I didn't see reference to abuse in the OP.

Abuse is still just words. I report abuse and ignore it. It only hurts if you let it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can and do accomdate x

I have a spare room exclusively for extra curricular activities x"

love to have a room just for that

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley


"I can and do accomdate x

I have a spare room exclusively for extra curricular activities x"

Me too

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By *r H and Good PetCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham


"Why do you care what other people think? There's lots of things that I won't do. If people are in any way disrespectful about it, I don't meet them.

They are entitled to their opinions and so am I. Zero angst.

He's not commenting on their opinions, which they are entitled to.

He's commenting on being given abuse, which I fully understand.

I didn't see reference to abuse in the OP.

Abuse is still just words. I report abuse and ignore it. It only hurts if you let it. "

Lovely bit of victim blaming there.

Words can hurt just as much as physical wounding and to dismiss that is to dismiss the very real experiences of victims of abuse.

OP that's a totally shit thing to have happened to you, so sorry to hear it. I personally don't accommodate, and I don't do it because I hate people in my house. Period. Lol. When I say that, there's not a lot they can come back with...

Like a few people have said here, use it as a filter.

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By *adyboy-DaddyCouple
over a year ago

Andover


"

I didn't see reference to abuse in the OP.

Abuse is still just words. I report abuse and ignor it. It only hurts if you let it. "

The title of the thread is "Abuse if can not accommodate"

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By *adyboy-DaddyCouple
over a year ago

Andover


"

Lovely bit of victim blaming there.

Words can hurt just as much as physical wounding and to dismiss that is to dismiss the very real experiences of victims of abuse"

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"I've seen this in threads before. I cannot accommodate, not because I'm in a relationship but because of the make up of my house.

I make it clear on my profile that I only meet those who do accommodate. Which limits meets, but that's the way it is.

So why do others make such a point about it and decide I'm obviously cheating etc. The farcical thing is - they can't accommodate either.

I'll share a hotel sometimes or meet in a club. Wish people would spend less time judging and more time shagging. "

I don't allow anyone in my home who won't have me in theirs. I don't seek justification why they can't: I don't care!

I wouldn't be jumping to conclusions or abuse though...unless asked why won't you meet me as you accommodate!

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"Why do you care what other people think? There's lots of things that I won't do. If people are in any way disrespectful about it, I don't meet them.

They are entitled to their opinions and so am I. Zero angst.

He's not commenting on their opinions, which they are entitled to.

He's commenting on being given abuse, which I fully understand. "

'He' is a 'she'

Some people automatically assume that if a man cannot accommodate they are married, whereas if a woman cannot accommodate, its for other reasons. I choose not to accommodate (my house, my rules) and actively look for guys who are happy meeting at hotels. Anything else gets ignored.

Once you get used to the fact that your choices will always offend someone, things get easier on here.

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

People always jump to this conclusion,without taking into account other reasons ie kids,parents.Despite there generally being other clues if someone is attached.

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By *adyboy-DaddyCouple
over a year ago

Andover


"

'He' is a 'she'

Some people automatically assume that if a man cannot accommodate they are married, whereas if a woman cannot accommodate, its for other reasons. I choose not to accommodate (my house, my rules) and actively look for guys who are happy meeting at hotels. Anything else gets ignored.

Once you get used to the fact that your choices will always offend someone, things get easier on here. "

Sorry. My rubbish auto type on phone rather my lack of understanding.

We also do not accommodate and do not want to visit other people's places.

We just prefer clubs or hotels as it we prefer the feeling of "neutral ground" where no one has the potential to feel any kind of entitlement as a result.

We have had some abuse over it which is very unnecessary.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you can start to understand that the behaviour people display towards you is more to do with the relationship they have with themselves than you and your values then over time you will not react to anyone.

Glen x"
Very wise words, thanks for sharing!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone makes judgements but abuse is not on.

I'd be making the judgement, based on their abuse, that you had a lucky escape in not meeting them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't understand anyone who abuses anyone on here because they ain't compatible to their needs

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

I think we all get abuse for various things on here.....

Block works best although it doesn't stop it in forums - just try your best to bypass it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've seen this in threads before. I cannot accommodate, not because I'm in a relationship but because of the make up of my house.

I make it clear on my profile that I only meet those who do accommodate. Which limits meets, but that's the way it is.

So why do others make such a point about it and decide I'm obviously cheating etc. The farcical thing is - they can't accommodate either.

I'll share a hotel sometimes or meet in a club. Wish people would spend less time judging and more time shagging. "
i get this too. Unfortunately some people are opinionated know it alls.. Better off not bothererin with some people as you get all sorts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Worse for a single guy that states he can't accommodate

That obviously means he's in a relationship and cheating on his partner

I can accommodate, when I'm away from my home, and on the very rare occasion when I don't have the sprogs with me, at home

I wish I could accommodate more often, but that's life, and if someone doesn't like it, then I'm unlikely to get on with them anyways

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why do you care what other people think? There's lots of things that I won't do. If people are in any way disrespectful about it, I don't meet them.

They are entitled to their opinions and so am I. Zero angst.

He's not commenting on their opinions, which they are entitled to.

He's commenting on being given abuse, which I fully understand.

I didn't see reference to abuse in the OP.

Abuse is still just words. I report abuse and ignore it. It only hurts if you let it.

Lovely bit of victim blaming there.

Words can hurt just as much as physical wounding and to dismiss that is to dismiss the very real experiences of victims of abuse.

OP that's a totally shit thing to have happened to you, so sorry to hear it. I personally don't accommodate, and I don't do it because I hate people in my house. Period. Lol. When I say that, there's not a lot they can come back with...

Like a few people have said here, use it as a filter. "

Not blaming anyone ffs.

Twist my words to make your twisted point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I choose not to accommodate as I prefer the safety and environment of clubs for meets that and I don't want strangers in my home fab is my fantasy fun life and I choose to keep it that way and have my meet preference on my profile.

If someone chooses to be abusive about it I block n report to admin and think thank god I am clear on my choice because if they can get funny over not being allowed at my home what else would they get funny about if we didn't click on an actual meet

Your home is your REAL life and your choice should be respected

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