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Finally Divorced........

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I Mrs PK found out this morning, my divorce has finally come through after 6 years!!!!

I am relieved as it finally means that I can sort out some financial stuff that I could only do on completion of the divorce.

However otherwise, I am feeling, right then that's that. I officially failed at being married. I won't be having a divorce party like so many people I know have done. As to me it doesn't feel like a reason to celebrate though I am now relieved and can finally sort some stuff out.

Am I alone in feeling like this? Or should I be kicking up my heels ??!

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

I think you're entitled to feel however you like, it was your relationship

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know a lot of people that have celebrated a divorce, I've no idea why, I find it sad that a relationship has failed for whatever reason, I myself have been with Mrs hood since I was 17, and will be celebrating 25 years this July, we've had our ups and downs like any relationship but the core has stayed strong throughout.

Sorry to hear yours hasn't worked out, but hope you find happiness again.

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

No 2 people feel the same. I was devastated when my marriage ended & took a long time to file for divorce - in honesty I only did so to try & help me move on. We'd already sorted finances & the children.

My divorce was granted on 2.4.14. I didn't have a party by did go out & get wrecked with our friends as it was so close to my birthday. The bar owners were lovely & provided loads of free cheap bubbles too!

I'll always regret having a failed marriage but I know it wasn't my fault so feel no guilt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Plenty of people whose marriages are "officially" successful hate each other, I wouldn't sweat it.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Stop using the word failed , now.

What is a successful relationship ?

How long does a successful relationship last?

No one knows.

You had some laughs and good times. Remember those. Now move forward

It isn't a celebration though. You are right. People that do that are most often kidding themselves.

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By *eMontresMan
over a year ago

Halesowen

I had mixed emotions when I got the Decree Absolute.

Happiness and joy

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By *abes in the woodWoman
over a year ago

wales

Waiting for my finial cannt wait

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does it mean you are not a couple on the profile or is your previous partner?.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Separated but this year the divorce will happen....as it needs to for financial reasons. I have a seperate life...see my boys all the time tho I havnt had a serious relationship since being seperated....my wife has had a couple. For me it has been very painful.. it wasn't my choice...and despite everything I know my wife is a fine woman. But it is what it is...I guess I'll love again...but divorce is ultimately a sad process.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes it is sad but you do have a second chance of happiness or 3rd . Xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It I'll be the third chance for me.....!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd love to turn back the clock 20 years and not meet who I'm with now.

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By *r and mrs sanddancerCouple
over a year ago

BOLDON COLLIERY

getting married in June

it will be 3rd time for both of us

me 1 divorce + buried 1

scouse 2 divorces

( plenty room under the rockery if it dont work out )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd love to turn back the clock 20 years and not meet who I'm with now. "

More constructive to do what you can now to change your life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Stop using the word failed , now.

What is a successful relationship ?

How long does a successful relationship last?

No one knows.

You had some laughs and good times. Remember those. Now move forward

It isn't a celebration though. You are right. People that do that are most often kidding themselves. "

Like granny says (she is so wise). There was once love and friendship. It's sad if it has past but sometimes life does that. No regrets. Just moments. Memories. You are allowed to remember the good times as well as the bad. That phase of your life is now over. A new phase has begun (or already been started). People with one foot in the past and one in the future are posing on the now.

Be happy xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Stop using the word failed , now.

What is a successful relationship ?

How long does a successful relationship last?

No one knows.

You had some laughs and good times. Remember those. Now move forward

It isn't a celebration though. You are right. People that do that are most often kidding themselves.

Like granny says (she is so wise). There was once love and friendship. It's sad if it has past but sometimes life does that. No regrets. Just moments. Memories. You are allowed to remember the good times as well as the bad. That phase of your life is now over. A new phase has begun (or already been started). People with one foot in the past and one in the future are posing on the now.

Be happy xx"

*pissing not posing* need a new phone x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Does it mean you are not a couple on the profile or is your previous partner?."

I have moved on ?? we split 6 years ago. This profile is with my wonderful partner and we have known each other nearly 5 years and together now 2 years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd love to turn back the clock 20 years and not meet who I'm with now.

More constructive to do what you can now to change your life "
True. Feel too old to do anything now though. Really miss that intimacy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Stop using the word failed , now.

What is a successful relationship ?

How long does a successful relationship last?

No one knows.

You had some laughs and good times. Remember those. Now move forward

It isn't a celebration though. You are right. People that do that are most often kidding themselves.

Like granny says (she is so wise). There was once love and friendship. It's sad if it has past but sometimes life does that. No regrets. Just moments. Memories. You are allowed to remember the good times as well as the bad. That phase of your life is now over. A new phase has begun (or already been started). People with one foot in the past and one in the future are posing on the now.

Be happy xx"

Very good advice from both, I don't have a foot in the past so to speak and I have moved on, clearly with my couples profile on here. However my ex and I do have 2 children together, so we still have contact and actually he only lives round the corner from us. And yes of course we had good times and we have our children who are amazing ??. I am very very happy with my partner, still though can't help feeling a little sad, I do see the failure of my marriage as my failure, but my kids are an amazing success

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst


"Plenty of people whose marriages are "officially" successful hate each other, I wouldn't sweat it."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I divorced my ex, I remember finally moving out when we separated, and as I shut the door on my new place, it felt like a huge weight had lifted.

It was such a relief! I can't even put the feeling into words, freedom maybe? I never should have married him in the first place - we were only married a few months and I had to get out.

When I got divorced, I wanted to celebrate, but never got round to it. If my best friend had lived closer, I would have done.

Every relationship and split are different. There's no right or wrong way to do it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Stop using the word failed , now.

What is a successful relationship ?

How long does a successful relationship last?

No one knows.

You had some laughs and good times. Remember those. Now move forward

It isn't a celebration though. You are right. People that do that are most often kidding themselves.

Like granny says (she is so wise). There was once love and friendship. It's sad if it has past but sometimes life does that. No regrets. Just moments. Memories. You are allowed to remember the good times as well as the bad. That phase of your life is now over. A new phase has begun (or already been started). People with one foot in the past and one in the future are posing on the now.

Be happy xx

Very good advice from both, I don't have a foot in the past so to speak and I have moved on, clearly with my couples profile on here. However my ex and I do have 2 children together, so we still have contact and actually he only lives round the corner from us. And yes of course we had good times and we have our children who are amazing ??. I am very very happy with my partner, still though can't help feeling a little sad, I do see the failure of my marriage as my failure, but my kids are an amazing success "

Then they are what shines from something that is past. To deny the past is to deny the good that came from it. Divorce is an end of two people going forward together, it does not diminish or denegrate the paths they walked prior to the crossroads.

You have suffered a loss (an alternate future), the papers of the divorce have brought those feelings of loss forward again. We all grieve for the things we lose (both good and bad) it is human. It doesn't mean you want them back, feel sorrow for what was, it makes you appreciate what is now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

However otherwise, I am feeling, right then that's that. I officially failed at being married. "

I don't see how divorce os "failing at marriage"? Marriage isn't a test to see how long you can be unhappy for.

I don't know the circumstances of your divorce, but I would have been failing my ex and myself by staying with him. I was completely wrong for him, pushed him to move away from his family and friends because of work, and I couldn't stay living in a tiny village. And he was miserable. He moved back as soon as we split and he's still there. We were both unhappy together.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You haven't failed at being married, people and relationships change over time and sometimes divorce is the best option, sometimes trying to work things out is, it's really all relative to each individual relationship.

You definitely don't have to celebrate your divorce, I doubt I will when I get my divorce finalised, I sent off the papers today. Relief will probably be the emotion I will feel, although I'm lucky I now get along with my ex, although it's taken years to do so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think you're entitled to feel however you like, it was your relationship "

This

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Stop using the word failed , now.

What is a successful relationship ?

How long does a successful relationship last?

No one knows.

You had some laughs and good times. Remember those. Now move forward

It isn't a celebration though. You are right. People that do that are most often kidding themselves.

Like granny says (she is so wise). There was once love and friendship. It's sad if it has past but sometimes life does that. No regrets. Just moments. Memories. You are allowed to remember the good times as well as the bad. That phase of your life is now over. A new phase has begun (or already been started). People with one foot in the past and one in the future are posing on the now.

Be happy xx

Very good advice from both, I don't have a foot in the past so to speak and I have moved on, clearly with my couples profile on here. However my ex and I do have 2 children together, so we still have contact and actually he only lives round the corner from us. And yes of course we had good times and we have our children who are amazing ??. I am very very happy with my partner, still though can't help feeling a little sad, I do see the failure of my marriage as my failure, but my kids are an amazing success

Then they are what shines from something that is past. To deny the past is to deny the good that came from it. Divorce is an end of two people going forward together, it does not diminish or denegrate the paths they walked prior to the crossroads.

You have suffered a loss (an alternate future), the papers of the divorce have brought those feelings of loss forward again. We all grieve for the things we lose (both good and bad) it is human. It doesn't mean you want them back, feel sorrow for what was, it makes you appreciate what is now. "

Very wise words

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont know if ill ever get divorced, right now its not the pressing issue. Perhaps I should just for the finality of it and to move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a long time since I got divorced and even longer for Mr G.

I remember going out and getting d*unk when my Absolute arrived. I wasn't happy - just a bit numb as I remember. More than a decade later, I know I made the right decision, as we were better apart.

Hopefully in time you'll feel better about it. But you can't rush these things.

Sarah

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By *obka3Couple
over a year ago

bournemouth

both of us are sad that our marriages failed but we were with the wrong people, but we are now with the right person and are very happy and living the life so not celebrating divorce but celebrating true love.

Pass the sick bucket

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"both of us are sad that our marriages failed but we were with the wrong people, but we are now with the right person and are very happy and living the life so not celebrating divorce but celebrating true love.

Pass the sick bucket "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anger kept me going, got me all the way to the solicitors!

Then, once the process started, the anger disappeared. I felt like I was in a period of mourning to be honest!

But I am one of those truely annoying people and even though I went through every emotion known to man, I started to see the positives.

Life is way too short to feel failure, but a sense of loss/disappointment is inevitable.

You are in a different place now, hopefully happier - maybe not 'kick up' those heels, but raise a glass to the past, with a smile

Sara

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Anger kept me going, got me all the way to the solicitors!

Then, once the process started, the anger disappeared. I felt like I was in a period of mourning to be honest!

But I am one of those truely annoying people and even though I went through every emotion known to man, I started to see the positives.

Life is way too short to feel failure, but a sense of loss/disappointment is inevitable.

You are in a different place now, hopefully happier - maybe not 'kick up' those heels, but raise a glass to the past, with a smile

Sara"

And a glass to the future

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Good luck... Don't feel a failure... You changed.. He changed .. The situation changed and you made a decision to deal with it and move on... Take your time.. Don't rush into anything on the bounce .. Find yourself and be happy with yourself.. And yes .. I just got divorced too

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