FabSwingers.com forum: We can say what we want....

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

…..or the case against freedom of speech?

So…… anyway I use the forums, nobody much likes me (and that’s okay, I fink you is all special…….), that aside, the forums can sometimes come across as overly negative (not always, just sometimes, maybe…)

So do the forums, have a negative impact on other aspects of the site? For example, the preponderance of single males posting that “this site is shite”, “everyone is frigid”, “I am quite ugly”; collectively known as the “please review my profile posts”, may lead a casual reader (not the hardcore, up all night forumite) to deduce that many single men on this website, really don’t have a clue.

Another example is the intolerant tolerant; you know the ones, the ones with a profile with pics and everything, but don’t believe that people have a right to play how they want to play, much less post about it, without it erupting into a flame war and angst.

Then there are the “my shapes better that yours posts” or for ease of reference the “I am literally starving” brigade vs “I have big bones”

I guess what I am asking is; Do all of the posts on this forum have a positive or negative impact on the people that DON’T post? Are they reinforcing stereotypes (The clueless, arrogant, single(married) fuckanything guy; the entitled, “I am so fashion”, princess bow before me lady and the “you are doing it all wrong” couple?), is there a balance, or am I only seeing negative posts, because I can’t decide who to snog, fuck, marry, put under the patio or avoid?

I wonder (sometimes, I do have other things to do), whether some of the posts (by newbies, regulars and foundation stones), may be cursing, chastising or placing on a pedestal, those that are using the site without using the forums, are the words we write (negative or positive) permeating through this site (and the scene)? Note; I am sure many people read the forums without posting.

Thoughts, or, of course, you could let this post sink faster than a Mojito on a Friday night… and its no biggie

My personal opinion? (because I should put that as I pondered a question); I think there is a balance, but sometimes it is skewed negative, I do think the words that are written on a forum, have a permeating quality that reaches other parts of the site, subconsciously or consciously

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I have a tendency to make jokes and laugh but not always. As with a great many things, there is balance.

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

It's all just a bit of fun...don't take it seriously

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I actually quite like you OP

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

Actions have consequences. Of course you have the right to say what you want, but I also have the right to think you are a twat for saying it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope, but that's just my opinion

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's all just a bit of fun...don't take it seriously

Its not me taking it seriously, its just a question, you understand? For my thesis..... I mean, info,..... I mean, well its just a question.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

And I thought I could ramble!

Good questions though... I'm not sure it has much of an effect on the site as a whole cause I'm pretty sure the majority of members don't even look at the forums.

Negativity bores me so I just shut the thread and move on to the next one. I try to be kind when people ask for advice and if I have something constructive to add to a thread I do. More often than not I'll throw in some cheek and hope that people have a sense of humour.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Seeing as the amount of people who are active on the forums is a tiny proportion of the actual amount of Fab members, I doubt the forum affects the rest of the site at all.

I regularly meet men who have never read the forum, and really don't care about it. That's fine by me.

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

I never use the forums

What am I doing here?

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By *ustinCredible.Man
over a year ago

whitecross/sankey valley

I've been on here for nearly 3 years and only started using the forums today, the main reason I haven't posted in them is due to a lot of the negative replies I'd read when I did come in to the forum (that and the lack of more specific regional forums).

I started posting today because I'd seen a couple threads that sparked my interest.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Of course, the subjects that do get posted can turn quite negative, especially the religious and political ones. I avoid them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And I thought I could ramble!

Good questions though... I'm not sure it has much of an effect on the site as a whole cause I'm pretty sure the majority of members don't even look at the forums.

Hows that working out for you?

(there are some very good forum posters that can turn a negative to a positive without it being offensive,, thats an art, relying on peoples sense of humour can be "tricky" )

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By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock

And I thought I could ramble!

Good questions though... I'm not sure it has much of an effect on the site as a whole cause I'm pretty sure the majority of members don't even look at the forums.

Perks at seeing Dirty girls cheeks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone I know who doesn't post on the forums but reads them thinks that the forums are boring. I don't think they are getting a feel for the site based on the forums, so I don't think the forums are slanting their views positively or negatively. In all honesty, they don't take much notice of our nonsense.

That's just my experience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would imagine that people meet through the forums but that isn't their main source of meets.

I joke about most things but that's the classic defense mechanism that protects most of us and the fact its always nice to receive a compliment on here from time to time .

Are the Forums just a stop gap and a way of testing the water until we meet someone local ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I actually quite like you OP

Stop it.......you don't have to say nice things, I am NOT getting at the forum or its users, just pondering its effect (if any), it has...

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

And I thought I could ramble!

Good questions though... I'm not sure it has much of an effect on the site as a whole cause I'm pretty sure the majority of members don't even look at the forums.

Hows that working out for you?

(there are some very good forum posters that can turn a negative to a positive without it being offensive,, thats an art, relying on peoples sense of humour can be "tricky" )

I've been kicking around ten years, posting shite on the forums so I'm pretty sure most of the regulars know I'm not the offensive type so generally my posts (I think) are read in the way they are written and intended. I'm also pretty hard to offend so take any digs with a smile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont think that much about it..

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By *llie RoseWoman
over a year ago

By the seaside

I would have thought the majority of fabsters don't even look at the forums.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP...

Mojito night is Saturday night

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if you aren't that bothered by a reply I wont bother giving one

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would have thought the majority of fabsters don't even look at the forums. "

I get that; impossible to know really. I just wandered whether some of the "truths" of the forums are picked up on and then reflected in peoples profiles, statuses or preferences....

I know that many of the above will be based on experiences, but sometimes I wonder whether newbie lovelies, on first encountering the site, read the forum and think, "woah" or whatever (can't think what a newbie would think, its been tooooooo long)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would have thought the majority of fabsters don't even look at the forums.

I get that; impossible to know really. I just wandered whether some of the "truths" of the forums are picked up on and then reflected in peoples profiles, statuses or preferences....

wandered.... prick! I meant wondered, or maybe I wandered whilst wondering or vice-versa...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i thought that was every forum?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They say 1% uses the forum, usually on fab there can be 33.000 online, does that mean 99% reads it? Many who don't post will miss out.

I like the forum and I like the drama on some subjects, it is comedy gold, we are like a big family

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"if you aren't that bothered by a reply I wont bother giving one

Thank you for your input, you just messed up my spreadsheet....

(there is always one!)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"They say 1% uses the forum, usually on fab there can be 33.000 online, does that mean 99% reads it? Many who don't post will miss out.

I like the forum and I like the drama on some subjects, it is comedy gold, we are like a big family

I think (not sure, but a newbie guy on this thread has me wondering), that quite a few do read the forum, but either feel intimidated or can't be arsed to post...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They say 1% uses the forum, usually on fab there can be 33.000 online, does that mean 99% reads it? Many who don't post will miss out.

I like the forum and I like the drama on some subjects, it is comedy gold, we are like a big family

I think (not sure, but a newbie guy on this thread has me wondering), that quite a few do read the forum, but either feel intimidated or can't be arsed to post..."

there are a lot of lurkers with 'first time' nerves...stick that in your spread sheet

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

My experience is that most people don't ever look at the fora but those that do use the bits that interests them. So some will only ever go to stories and fantasies.

The people who read but don't post on the lounge include those who then send PMs and vent their spleen that way. I've had more abuse over the years from people who have never posted on the forum but have an opinion on what is being discussed.

As to whether the negativity spreads through the site the answer is surely no more than the frivolity and the fun.

The lounge goes through cycles and if it was relentlessly negative people wouldn't come back.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've been on here for nearly 3 years and only started using the forums today, the main reason I haven't posted in them is due to a lot of the negative replies I'd read when I did come in to the forum (that and the lack of more specific regional forums).

I started posting today because I'd seen a couple threads that sparked my interest."

Thank you Mr laughing octopus and welcome to posting on the forums (finally!)

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

"Seeing as the amount of people who are active on the forums is a tiny proportion of the actual amount of Fab members, I doubt the forum affects the rest of the site at all.

I regularly meet men who have never read the forum, and really don't care about it. That's fine by me."

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

The monkeys made me do it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i could probably count on 1 hand the forumites ive recognized while browsing members

i always saw the forum as almost a separate site

i see the negativity your talking about. i probably contribute to it at times

i dont like constant negativity same as i dont like those trying to keep everything positive constantly. i think we have a good balance here

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By *ervent_fervourMan
over a year ago

Halifax

It can skew things for me, yes.

I try to be polite even if i vehemently disagree with something someone says, or if I don't like their attitude(it costs nowt to be nice and all that).

Actually, I absolutely hate it with a passion when people are deliberately the opposite of nice. But anyhoo..

But I have found that sometimes if someone (I fancy/like/have no opinion positive or negative regarding) posts something which I find offensive then i do see them in a bad light. I wish I didn't. But I do.

Usually it's regarding something political though, so I've found it good practice to disassociate a person from the negative representation I have in my head of them based upon what they've said in the 'political' threads, and if I see them posting about something else on another thread I just take it at face value and think/feel/respond to them in the same way I would with anybody else. Life's too short and all that.

I'd like to think it'd be done vice versa also.

And not because I'm just looking to get my leg over(or under/sideways, etc), but because I like the banter and exchange of opinions(and, yes, 'support' and stuff as well).

It's nice to 'connect' with people even though the primary reason for this site is basically fucking.

Okay.

I do essentially just want to get my leg over, but you know what I mean.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I can honestly say without fear of contradiction that 3 out of 4 forum users make up 75% of those that Do use the forums.

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

"It can skew things for me, yes.

I try to be polite even if i vehemently disagree with something someone says, or if I don't like their attitude(it costs nowt to be nice and all that).

Actually, I absolutely hate it with a passion when people are deliberately the opposite of nice. But anyhoo..

I'd like to think it'd be done vice versa also.

And not because I'm just looking to get my leg over(or under/sideways, etc), but because I like the banter and exchange of opinions(and, yes, 'support' and stuff as well).

It's nice to 'connect' with people even though the primary reason for this site is basically fucking.

Okay.

I do essentially just want to get my leg over, but you know what I mean."

Would not have guessed............haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's all relative to the individual.

Some just read and switch off if the content doesn't stimulate. Others read and digest and ponder or reflect on the comments.

I like to think we all learn from each other and the differences we all have keep us on an even keel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They say 1% uses the forum, usually on fab there can be 33.000 online, does that mean 99% reads it? Many who don't post will miss out.

I like the forum and I like the drama on some subjects, it is comedy gold, we are like a big family

I think (not sure, but a newbie guy on this thread has me wondering), that quite a few do read the forum, but either feel intimidated or can't be arsed to post...

there are a lot of lurkers with 'first time' nerves...stick that in your spread sheet

"
That is right too, so might take longer for some to join the forum than others.

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By *piritsonfabCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

I think the topics can be useful to beginners, I've definitely learned stuff off here.

Some people make chippy comments but they can be ignored.

I found I was quite impressed with the liberal attitudes and social consciousness of a lot of posters.

Some posts have causes me to contact the poster directly as I've enjoyed their comments.

The fuck, snog etc posts I just ignore.... They're for the hard core forumites I reckon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dosed off after your 1st paragraph - I'm sure it was great

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Dosed off after your 1st paragraph - I'm sure it was great"

And this is a fine example of what not to do!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not that deep fam

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By *mokes n MirrorsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth and Newcastle (sometimes)

And I thought I could ramble!

Good questions though... I'm not sure it has much of an effect on the site as a whole cause I'm pretty sure the majority of members don't even look at the forums.

This is how it works for us too and occasionally when we're feeling brave we'll be the OP

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"It can skew things for me, yes.

I try to be polite even if i vehemently disagree with something someone says, or if I don't like their attitude(it costs nowt to be nice and all that).

Actually, I absolutely hate it with a passion when people are deliberately the opposite of nice. But anyhoo..

Isn't this true of getting to know anyone in any sphere?

I do meet and fuck Tories on this site. I don't agree with them politically but as long as they don't say something I find completely objectionable (and vice versa) then all is well.

Nice name, by the way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hello OP well it's an interesting question and I think for the most part the forums are a fun distraction. There are however a few that seem to be negative or just mean.

Some of the subjects posted and responses do leave the OP or respondent open to negative comments, however I believe that just because someone opens a door it's not necessary to walk through it and I always get a little upset when a mob forms

When I first discovered the forums I was scared off for quite some time so now I tend to stick to the less contentious more light hearted threads.

I don't think it hurts to be nice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Judging by the abuse I received on a previous profile after criticising a certain club, there are more people that read the forums without posting in them than some assume.

As for whether it bothers them - I really don't care.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I started posting today because I'd seen a couple threads that sparked my interest."

Hello.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the people affect the forum, not the forum affecting (the negativity?) of the people.

There's a heck of a lot of people that read the forum but rarely/ never post.

There's a triple heck more that don't use the forums and just get on with shagging...

and a widdly tiddly few that do both.

I think most of the negativity is from people not getting any sex, hence wasting time in the forum, and hence being grumpy cos they need a shag.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think most of the negativity is from people not getting any sex, hence wasting time in the forum, and hence being grumpy cos they need a shag.

You might have a fucking point there

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I think the people affect the forum, not the forum affecting (the negativity?) of the people.

There's a heck of a lot of people that read the forum but rarely/ never post.

There's a triple heck more that don't use the forums and just get on with shagging...

and a widdly tiddly few that do both.

I think most of the negativity is from people not getting any sex, hence wasting time in the forum, and hence being grumpy cos they need a shag.

You're right! I've only ever posted mid-shag once.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think the people affect the forum, not the forum affecting (the negativity?) of the people.

There's a heck of a lot of people that read the forum but rarely/ never post.

There's a triple heck more that don't use the forums and just get on with shagging...

and a widdly tiddly few that do both.

I think most of the negativity is from people not getting any sex, hence wasting time in the forum, and hence being grumpy cos they need a shag.

Now that's an interesting tongue in cheek post.... I wonder (fuck I wonder a lot), whether posting on the forums is a substitute for meeting; you can still be more liberal and sharing here than you can with non-scene friends but you just dont fancy meeting. Kinda half-in the scene so to speak... just more musings.

Thanks to all who have contributed thus far; I didn't expect so many responses. I think many of you are right in that it's a bit of everything and depending on the day, can be negative or positive and can influence the "mood" of the site without having too great an impact.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I think the people affect the forum, not the forum affecting (the negativity?) of the people.

There's a heck of a lot of people that read the forum but rarely/ never post.

There's a triple heck more that don't use the forums and just get on with shagging...

and a widdly tiddly few that do both.

I think most of the negativity is from people not getting any sex, hence wasting time in the forum, and hence being grumpy cos they need a shag.

The forum has kept me on Fab longer than I might otherwise have stayed. That's partly because I have made friends here, I've had some good sex via the forum connections and because when someone is in genuine need the forum can be a lovely caring place. It's also partly because I'm bonkers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think the people affect the forum, not the forum affecting (the negativity?) of the people.

There's a heck of a lot of people that read the forum but rarely/ never post.

There's a triple heck more that don't use the forums and just get on with shagging...

and a widdly tiddly few that do both.

I think most of the negativity is from people not getting any sex, hence wasting time in the forum, and hence being grumpy cos they need a shag.

You're right! I've only ever posted mid-shag once.

Reading forums is less boring than counting ceiling tiles while they hump away...

A friend told me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not here for a substitute shag. I'm just here between watching shite on TV and prior to having a shag a little later

Whatever the reasons for peoples' angst, I'm glad for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm technically a 'newbie',though I was a member along time ago under a different profile,and use to reply and post quite often. I suppose at present I'm one of the 'lurkers',nothing to do with nerves or intimidation though. Forum hasn't changed much really... which is strangely comforting.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Can someone do a precis for me please, I'm tired?

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Can someone do a precis for me please, I'm tired?

Negativity on the forum leaks out and infects the whole site leading to negative swingers.

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