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By *D40 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Just wondering if any swinging couples also have an "open" relationship? If so how does it work out?

WD40

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By *D40 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

I ask because we swing, however one of us naughties played away with a none swinger a couple of times & got busted. To my way of thinking if thats what they need then why not broaden the perameters of the sexual side of our relationship? If one can play surely both can? No sneaky behind each others back business tho. All up front like the swinging...

WD40

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You got busted i take it ?

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Swinging by definition is a kind of open relationship. With that comes boundaries, rules and trust. It appears that the boundaries haven't been set, rules have been broken and trust has been compromised

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By *obka3Couple
over a year ago

bournemouth

That IMVHO was cheating and has broken the trust, had the person owned up then maybe it could be forgiven. If K wanted to have sex with another man without me then if we discussed it then WE could mutually decide, but if she did it and got caught out then our trust would be broken and it would finish us, same the other way round.

No trust = no relationship

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By *otblondewife hornyMrCouple
over a year ago

Cambuslang


"I ask because we swing, however one of us naughties played away with a none swinger a couple of times & got busted. To my way of thinking if thats what they need then why not broaden the perameters of the sexual side of our relationship? If one can play surely both can? No sneaky behind each others back business tho. All up front like the swinging...

WD40"

So one of you been cheating but thinks the other shouldn't go with anyone else?

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By *riskynriskyCouple
over a year ago

Essex.


"That IMVHO was cheating and has broken the trust, had the person owned up then maybe it could be forgiven. If K wanted to have sex with another man without me then if we discussed it then WE could mutually decide, but if she did it and got caught out then our trust would be broken and it would finish us, same the other way round.

No trust = no relationship"

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By *D40 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

So many to answer.

Firstly i didnt cheat - the other did.

Secondly they cheated because it was without my knowledge & secretive.

Thirdly - we had rules which were we dont swing with a couple unless we both want too. Parties & clubs we dont need to find a couple it can be a single - go have fun...

The other half of our couple historically cheats hence swinging was a way of them having fun (& i have enjoyed it too) with no need for deception.

The trust is gone, i hope it returns. By taking away the cheating option by changing our relationship perameters i hope we can rebuild it as time passes...

WD40

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By *D40 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"I ask because we swing, however one of us naughties played away with a none swinger a couple of times & got busted. To my way of thinking if thats what they need then why not broaden the perameters of the sexual side of our relationship? If one can play surely both can? No sneaky behind each others back business tho. All up front like the swinging...

WD40

So one of you been cheating but thinks the other shouldn't go with anyone else?"

Presumptuous but wrong. We both have cake or nobody does

WD40

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By *rMrs_CCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth


"So many to answer.

Firstly i didnt cheat - the other did.

Secondly they cheated because it was without my knowledge & secretive.

Thirdly - we had rules which were we dont swing with a couple unless we both want too. Parties & clubs we dont need to find a couple it can be a single - go have fun...

The other half of our couple historically cheats hence swinging was a way of them having fun (& i have enjoyed it too) with no need for deception.

The trust is gone, i hope it returns. By taking away the cheating option by changing our relationship perameters i hope we can rebuild it as time passes...

WD40"

Sounds like the partner wants their cake and to eat it.

Only my opinion, but if your now giving them this option I doubt they will be able to do this on a 'swinging' level e.g its NSA with the other one and you are always no.1

We personally think its fraught with danger, but we get off on seeing each other so always do it together.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So many to answer.

Firstly i didnt cheat - the other did.

Secondly they cheated because it was without my knowledge & secretive.

Thirdly - we had rules which were we dont swing with a couple unless we both want too. Parties & clubs we dont need to find a couple it can be a single - go have fun...

The other half of our couple historically cheats hence swinging was a way of them having fun (& i have enjoyed it too) with no need for deception.

The trust is gone, i hope it returns. By taking away the cheating option by changing our relationship perameters i hope we can rebuild it as time passes...

WD40"

So....and I am trying to understand (and I am well thick).

One of your couple (your partner); has a history of cheating. So to get around this you both now swing (as a couple), but it's okay for either one of you to go off with a single at a party or club? Is that right?

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By *D40 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"So many to answer.

Firstly i didnt cheat - the other did.

Secondly they cheated because it was without my knowledge & secretive.

Thirdly - we had rules which were we dont swing with a couple unless we both want too. Parties & clubs we dont need to find a couple it can be a single - go have fun...

The other half of our couple historically cheats hence swinging was a way of them having fun (& i have enjoyed it too) with no need for deception.

The trust is gone, i hope it returns. By taking away the cheating option by changing our relationship perameters i hope we can rebuild it as time passes...

WD40

Sounds like the partner wants their cake and to eat it.

Only my opinion, but if your now giving them this option I doubt they will be able to do this on a 'swinging' level e.g its NSA with the other one and you are always no.1

We personally think its fraught with danger, but we get off on seeing each other so always do it together."

I know their faults. They love the chase such as it is. So it will be nsa. However whats good for one is good for the other & there can be no secrets for it to work.

The only danger is that 1 of us might find the grass greener.

However right at this very minute i know how much love is in our relationship...

WD40

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am in an open/poly relationship, and one of my partners I regularly swing with.

It works out really well for us. Is there anything specific you'd like to ask?

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By *D40 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"I am in an open/poly relationship, and one of my partners I regularly swing with.

It works out really well for us. Is there anything specific you'd like to ask?"

You answered my question in your post.

Thank you

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By *ustinCredible.Man
over a year ago

whitecross/sankey valley

As I read the words "the trust is gone but I hope we can rebuild it" all that came into my head was never gonna happen. No trust is kind of the final straw.

Sure you can band-aid a severed limb by labelling your relationship as "open" but your always gonna be wondering if that hour they were home late was because they were doing something behind your back

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By *D40 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"As I read the words "the trust is gone but I hope we can rebuild it" all that came into my head was never gonna happen. No trust is kind of the final straw.

Sure you can band-aid a severed limb by labelling your relationship as "open" but your always gonna be wondering if that hour they were home late was because they were doing something behind your back"

Not if we are also open with each other. If we know what plans we have made when then there is no need to wander where each other is surely?

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By *ustinCredible.Man
over a year ago

whitecross/sankey valley


"As I read the words "the trust is gone but I hope we can rebuild it" all that came into my head was never gonna happen. No trust is kind of the final straw.

Sure you can band-aid a severed limb by labelling your relationship as "open" but your always gonna be wondering if that hour they were home late was because they were doing something behind your back

Not if we are also open with each other. If we know what plans we have made when then there is no need to wander where each other is surely?"

Your swinging and the other half still cheated knowing that if they wanted to sleep with other people they could do it with you in the room and taking part. Obviously everyone is different but if my partner cheated while we were already swinging I wouldn't have a partner any more.

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By *D40 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"As I read the words "the trust is gone but I hope we can rebuild it" all that came into my head was never gonna happen. No trust is kind of the final straw.

Sure you can band-aid a severed limb by labelling your relationship as "open" but your always gonna be wondering if that hour they were home late was because they were doing something behind your back

Not if we are also open with each other. If we know what plans we have made when then there is no need to wander where each other is surely?

Your swinging and the other half still cheated knowing that if they wanted to sleep with other people they could do it with you in the room and taking part. Obviously everyone is different but if my partner cheated while we were already swinging I wouldn't have a partner any more.

"

Believe me that thought crossed my mind & i surprised myself by being here still.

I think "forbidden fruit" sprang to mind. Believe me i wont forgive betrayal a second time and if time isnt a great healer then things will change.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Mrs and myself meet alone mainly, had a few bumps at the start but pretty much ok now, we did try meeting other couples initially but we just couldn't find another couple where we all were happy, so sacked it off, we occasionally have a guy round for MMF but not often.

Mrs will meet once or twice a month, and I'll try the same but obviously not being as successful, it is what it is I guess.

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By *otblondewife hornyMrCouple
over a year ago

Cambuslang


"As I read the words "the trust is gone but I hope we can rebuild it" all that came into my head was never gonna happen. No trust is kind of the final straw.

Sure you can band-aid a severed limb by labelling your relationship as "open" but your always gonna be wondering if that hour they were home late was because they were doing something behind your back

Not if we are also open with each other. If we know what plans we have made when then there is no need to wander where each other is surely?

Your swinging and the other half still cheated knowing that if they wanted to sleep with other people they could do it with you in the room and taking part. Obviously everyone is different but if my partner cheated while we were already swinging I wouldn't have a partner any more.

Believe me that thought crossed my mind & i surprised myself by being here still.

I think "forbidden fruit" sprang to mind. Believe me i wont forgive betrayal a second time and if time isnt a great healer then things will change."

No offence meant at all but just with the things you're saying, you are open to being a doormat.

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By *D40 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"As I read the words "the trust is gone but I hope we can rebuild it" all that came into my head was never gonna happen. No trust is kind of the final straw.

Sure you can band-aid a severed limb by labelling your relationship as "open" but your always gonna be wondering if that hour they were home late was because they were doing something behind your back

Not if we are also open with each other. If we know what plans we have made when then there is no need to wander where each other is surely?

Your swinging and the other half still cheated knowing that if they wanted to sleep with other people they could do it with you in the room and taking part. Obviously everyone is different but if my partner cheated while we were already swinging I wouldn't have a partner any more.

Believe me that thought crossed my mind & i surprised myself by being here still.

I think "forbidden fruit" sprang to mind. Believe me i wont forgive betrayal a second time and if time isnt a great healer then things will change.

No offence meant at all but just with the things you're saying, you are open to being a doormat."

A doormat is something i will not be. As i said normal gut instinct is walk away. Believe me i have a history of it. A new start would not intimidate me at all. However i know why and i know how we feel about each other. This will not stop me going if i cant get trust back....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As I read the words "the trust is gone but I hope we can rebuild it" all that came into my head was never gonna happen. No trust is kind of the final straw.

Sure you can band-aid a severed limb by labelling your relationship as "open" but your always gonna be wondering if that hour they were home late was because they were doing something behind your back"

In my mind, if someone in a swinging relationship cheats, that is MUCH worse than in a non-swinging relationship. It's really fucking low and I'd never trust them again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As I read the words "the trust is gone but I hope we can rebuild it" all that came into my head was never gonna happen. No trust is kind of the final straw.

Sure you can band-aid a severed limb by labelling your relationship as "open" but your always gonna be wondering if that hour they were home late was because they were doing something behind your back

In my mind, if someone in a swinging relationship cheats, that is MUCH worse than in a non-swinging relationship. It's really fucking low and I'd never trust them again. "

I think with open relationships there has to be a high level of trust. If it's happened once and everything's fine I'd be having the thought constantly what if it happens again. I'd be maybe a little on the insecure side and think well if that's happened am I not fulfilling my partners needs?. This is just me personally not stating what you should or shouldn't do as really it's not my place.

If we agreed whether it be together or separate I'd still tell my partner about it and let them know where I am in case anything may happen and they know where to come. The day that little word is broken I'd be angry as well as upset because the open relationship and trust to me has been abused and broken so I'd say then no more open relationship it's just us two from now on. Rekindle it the best way I can,if it turns sour. I'm still young may I add so don't what I say as gospel

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