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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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NICKNAMES
· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch,
they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah .
· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will
affectionately refer to each other as Dickhead, Fatboy and Shit for Brains.
EATING OUT
· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John
will each throw in £20, even though it's only for
£32.50. None of them will have anything
smaller and none will actually admit they want
change back.
· When the girls get their bill, out come the
pocket calculators.
MONEY
· A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
· A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that
she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
· A man has six items in his bathroom:
toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream,
razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
· The average number of items in the typical
woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be
able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
· A woman has the last word in any
argument.
· Anything a man says after that is the
beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
· A woman worries about the future until
she gets a husband.
· A man never worries about the future until
he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
· A successful man is one who makes more
money than his wife can spend.
· A successful woman is one who can find
such a man.
MARRIAGE
· A woman marries a man expecting he will
change, but he doesn't.
· A man marries a woman expecting that she
won 't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
· A woman will dress up to go shopping,
water the plants, empty the trash, answer the
phone, read a book, and get the post.
· A man will dress up for weddings and
funerals.
NATURAL
· Men wake up as good - looking as they
went to bed.
· Women somehow deteriorate during the
night.
OFFSPRING
· Ah, children... A woman knows all about
her children. She knows about dentist
appointments and romances, best friends,
favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and
dreams.
· A man is vaguely aware of some short
people living in the house. |
