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A partner who works away

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I am currently seeing a man with whom there may be a longer term relationship to be had. He works away and can be away for up to 6 months at a time. He is happy for me to have a gf to play with while he is gone but not a bf. I asked how he would feel about me paying for a professional male so he felt less threatened. He is now thinking about this.

How do others here cope with partners who work away and sex?

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London


"I am currently seeing a man with whom there may be a longer term relationship to be had. He works away and can be away for up to 6 months at a time. He is happy for me to have a gf to play with while he is gone but not a bf. I asked how he would feel about me paying for a professional male so he felt less threatened. He is now thinking about this.

How do others here cope with partners who work away and sex?

"

Mr worked away for a few months last year and I didn't play. I missed him too much and threw myself into the kids and work ... poor kids! This man may have issues if you continue to be a swinger though ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I wouldn't be unless I wanted to play with women (which is with his blessing).

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By *andB6969Couple
over a year ago

Well worth a visit, East Coast, Norfolk

[Removed by poster at 05/04/16 22:15:40]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't be in a long-distance relationship, it's too difficult to sustain intimacy - emotional or physical, there are good reasons why they rarely work long term, you essentially have commitment without any benefits.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I wouldn't be in a long-distance relationship, it's too difficult to sustain intimacy - emotional or physical, there are good reasons why they rarely work long term, you essentially have commitment without any benefits."

Yes I def see that side of things

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London


"I wouldn't be in a long-distance relationship, it's too difficult to sustain intimacy - emotional or physical, there are good reasons why they rarely work long term, you essentially have commitment without any benefits."

Agree with this ... so happy when he got back and don't want him to work away again, but may have to for financial reasons

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I worked away for6 months and me and my ex used to fantasize about her playing while I was away it ended up with my single best mate seeing to her needs and a great 3way friendship and fun also the only time I've experienced 3way bareback

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I worked away for6 months and me and my ex used to fantasize about her playing while I was away it ended up with my single best mate seeing to her needs and a great 3way friendship and fun also the only time I've experienced 3way bareback "

Did ur ex keep up her relationship with him when u split?

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By *randMrs T90Couple
over a year ago

Chester


"I am currently seeing a man with whom there may be a longer term relationship to be had. He works away and can be away for up to 6 months at a time. He is happy for me to have a gf to play with while he is gone but not a bf. I asked how he would feel about me paying for a professional male so he felt less threatened. He is now thinking about this.

How do others here cope with partners who work away and sex?

"

A lot of vodka works for us! But seriously, it can work, if you want it to. It has for us, for years. x Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I worked away for6 months and me and my ex used to fantasize about her playing while I was away it ended up with my single best mate seeing to her needs and a great 3way friendship and fun also the only time I've experienced 3way bareback

Did ur ex keep up her relationship with him when u split?"
no my mate passed away and we drifted apart

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst


"I wouldn't be in a long-distance relationship, it's too difficult to sustain intimacy - emotional or physical, there are good reasons why they rarely work long term, you essentially have commitment without any benefits."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wouldn't be in a long-distance relationship, it's too difficult to sustain intimacy - emotional or physical, there are good reasons why they rarely work long term, you essentially have commitment without any benefits.

Agree with this ... so happy when he got back and don't want him to work away again, but may have to for financial reasons"

It tears a guy apart when he is away, especially offshore, I see it trip by trip, year by year

Guys work away to try and provide a better life for partner or family

When we have a work mate who is going through a hard time at home its a difficult time, effects wellbeing, work production and safety

Having a partner that sticks by this situation and supports is essential

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I wouldn't be in a long-distance relationship, it's too difficult to sustain intimacy - emotional or physical, there are good reasons why they rarely work long term, you essentially have commitment without any benefits.

Agree with this ... so happy when he got back and don't want him to work away again, but may have to for financial reasons

It tears a guy apart when he is away, especially offshore, I see it trip by trip, year by year

Guys work away to try and provide a better life for partner or family

When we have a work mate who is going through a hard time at home its a difficult time, effects wellbeing, work production and safety

Having a partner that sticks by this situation and supports is essential"

Absolutely I understand that. And it takes a strong relationship to withstand it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Playing devils advocate, if you are able to have a girlfriend or a professional male to help you with your sexual needs whilst he is away, what does he get to have? I don't know his job or where he would be but if it's a place where he could have sex would he be able to do the same thing?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

It is surely early days for someone you are not committed to dictating what you should be doing when he is away....

But clearly your shout, or his

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have sex with other people and so does he. If he ever felt insecure about my fucking other men, I'd proberbly leave because the relationship simply wouldn't be working. There is no room for jealousy and insecurity in my relationships.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As an aside, you might want to have a think about this man and his attitudes to homosexual relationships. He has basically said you can have a girlfriend because lesbian relationships don't threaten your relationships. Which basically means that he thinks lesbian relationships aren't as "real" as straight relationships.

That's pretty homophobic. Do you really want to be with a man who thinks that way?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My partner lives in a different country than me. During times apart, we just go without sex and masturbate instead.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"As an aside, you might want to have a think about this man and his attitudes to homosexual relationships. He has basically said you can have a girlfriend because lesbian relationships don't threaten your relationships. Which basically means that he thinks lesbian relationships aren't as "real" as straight relationships.

That's pretty homophobic. Do you really want to be with a man who thinks that way?"

Or maybe he knows the lady in question and knows that she wouldn't want a full blown relationship with a woman?

I play with women sexually but don't see myself getting into a relationship with one. Does that make me homophobic?

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"It is surely early days for someone you are not committed to dictating what you should be doing when he is away....

But clearly your shout, or his "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/04/16 18:08:11]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As an aside, you might want to have a think about this man and his attitudes to homosexual relationships. He has basically said you can have a girlfriend because lesbian relationships don't threaten your relationships. Which basically means that he thinks lesbian relationships aren't as "real" as straight relationships.

That's pretty homophobic. Do you really want to be with a man who thinks that way?

Or maybe he knows the lady in question and knows that she wouldn't want a full blown relationship with a woman?

I play with women sexually but don't see myself getting into a relationship with one. Does that make me homophobic? "

Nope, yours is a choice. His is a decision to believe that women are less likely to fall for other women. I have been on far too many dates with men who have tried to put this restriction in place, because they believe there is generally no chance in them getting dumped for a woman. It's unbelievable common in the swing/poly dating world. They always have a bit of a reality check when I point out I'm much more likely to fall for a woman...

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"As an aside, you might want to have a think about this man and his attitudes to homosexual relationships. He has basically said you can have a girlfriend because lesbian relationships don't threaten your relationships. Which basically means that he thinks lesbian relationships aren't as "real" as straight relationships.

That's pretty homophobic. Do you really want to be with a man who thinks that way?

Or maybe he knows the lady in question and knows that she wouldn't want a full blown relationship with a woman?

I play with women sexually but don't see myself getting into a relationship with one. Does that make me homophobic?

Nope, yours is a choice. His is a decision to believe that women are less likely to fall for other women. I have been on far too many dates with men who have tried to put this restriction in place, because they believe there is generally no chance in them getting dumped for a woman. It's unbelievable common in the swing/poly dating world. They always have a bit of a reality check when I point out I'm much more likely to fall for a woman..."

But you are just projecting your experiences on to the OP's relationship. For all you know they could have had a long discussion about it all, you are assuming he has made this choice for her, you have made the choice to believe he is the same as the blokes you have met.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As an aside, you might want to have a think about this man and his attitudes to homosexual relationships. He has basically said you can have a girlfriend because lesbian relationships don't threaten your relationships. Which basically means that he thinks lesbian relationships aren't as "real" as straight relationships.

That's pretty homophobic. Do you really want to be with a man who thinks that way?

Or maybe he knows the lady in question and knows that she wouldn't want a full blown relationship with a woman?

I play with women sexually but don't see myself getting into a relationship with one. Does that make me homophobic?

Nope, yours is a choice. His is a decision to believe that women are less likely to fall for other women. I have been on far too many dates with men who have tried to put this restriction in place, because they believe there is generally no chance in them getting dumped for a woman. It's unbelievable common in the swing/poly dating world. They always have a bit of a reality check when I point out I'm much more likely to fall for a woman...

But you are just projecting your experiences on to the OP's relationship. For all you know they could have had a long discussion about it all, you are assuming he has made this choice for her, you have made the choice to believe he is the same as the blokes you have met. "

My assumption that he's making the decision for one reason is as valid as your assumption that he's making the decision for another.

We don't know, only the OP knows.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've lived a long distance relationship for a period of years where we knew there was a long term plan to be able to be together. I wouldn't get into a relationship where we'd be apart from the beginning with no end to that set up in sight.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"As an aside, you might want to have a think about this man and his attitudes to homosexual relationships. He has basically said you can have a girlfriend because lesbian relationships don't threaten your relationships. Which basically means that he thinks lesbian relationships aren't as "real" as straight relationships.

That's pretty homophobic. Do you really want to be with a man who thinks that way?

Or maybe he knows the lady in question and knows that she wouldn't want a full blown relationship with a woman?

I play with women sexually but don't see myself getting into a relationship with one. Does that make me homophobic?

Nope, yours is a choice. His is a decision to believe that women are less likely to fall for other women. I have been on far too many dates with men who have tried to put this restriction in place, because they believe there is generally no chance in them getting dumped for a woman. It's unbelievable common in the swing/poly dating world. They always have a bit of a reality check when I point out I'm much more likely to fall for a woman...

But you are just projecting your experiences on to the OP's relationship. For all you know they could have had a long discussion about it all, you are assuming he has made this choice for her, you have made the choice to believe he is the same as the blokes you have met.

My assumption that he's making the decision for one reason is as valid as your assumption that he's making the decision for another.

We don't know, only the OP knows."

i am not making an assumption, i am questioning yours. i have not stated anything as fact

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By *rMrs_CCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

My hubby is forces. He is currently on a deployment until Xmas with potential of the odd week home amounting to about 4 weeks. We don't play when we are not together. As much as its hard, I enjoy still catching up socially with fabs friends, and throw myself into uni work and keeping our child happy. This is pure extra fun, so when he's back it will be electric!!

Wouldn't ever want to play without my wingman. X

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