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Don't say it!!! I beg!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Another thread reminded me of a groanworthy thing my brother used to do when we were all around the huge teak TV that was the centrepiece of any modern home. I would say 'theres nowt on the telly' and he would say well I can see a lamp and an ornament on it.... Every single flaming time grrrrrr!

Also at school if you asked them the time, the lads thought it was hilarious to pull back their blazer sleeves to reveal a watchless wrist and declare it was 'A hair past a freckle' It still haunts me!

What corny jokes make you cringe - or are you going to admit to having a large dose of Jimmykrankieism that makes you dish out corn at every opportunity

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my ex used to say " thats 3 bad' as in too bad, made me wanna hit him then and still cringe now.

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By *ue care and attentionWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

I'm thirsty...no it's not Thursday it's Friday...groan!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

question," Is today the 21st ? "

answer," yes , all day "

thought , "shut the fuck up"!!!

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By *ummy mummyWoman
over a year ago

southampton-ish

yup...I grew up with my dad saying it was 2 hairs past the freckle...or instead of what are you insinuating he would say "what are you incinerationg?that really burns me up!" "who do you think you are?Anyway?" he had a million of them...

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"question," Is today the 21st ? "

answer," yes , all day "

thought , "shut the fuck up"!!!"
thats one of mine! lol

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Are you all right?

No,Im half left

Grrrrrrrr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

instructions - destructions

aaargh! not funny!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got the time onya cock?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

SW1A1AA

If ever i said well, i was always told whats the good of a well without a bucket and unfortunatly i say it now. When asking my granny how old she was she always replied as old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth.

When asking whats for tea i was always told "bread and pullit and windmill pudding" i also say that all the while as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What five ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I asked dad what was he doing he used to say

"I'm making a wigwam for a wowser"

WTF

If I tried to break into mum's conversation, by asking "who you talking about mom", She'd reply "Dicky Tacker with a clock up his ass"

again, WTF

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By *atureFem4FunWoman
over a year ago

Las Palmas GC

"What's for dinner?"

"Shit and Sugar!"

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By *ummy mummyWoman
over a year ago

southampton-ish

if I said HEY!!! I would get back hay is for horses that eat in the barn...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""What's for dinner?"

"Shit and Sugar!""

OR

Spiders knees and N'rs eyebrows.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And dad used to get up from his chair, and say "Ah well, said the sole, Arse 'ole said the well"

And then he'd fuck off to the shed

WTF

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"if I said HEY!!! I would get back hay is for horses that eat in the barn..."

lol and if you said So.... some bright spark would say you can't sew without a needle or thread then some other bright spark would add or seed!!!!!!

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By *ummy mummyWoman
over a year ago

southampton-ish

I have to admit I am guilty of one...whenever my little ones whine "I'm hungry!!"(usually 20 min before a meal is ready..lol)I answer back "I;m mummy...nice to meet you"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dad, there's a bloke at the door with a beard,

Tell him I've already got one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My dad always says stuff like "shall I put the kettle on - will it fit?" or how long will dinner be, 3" it's a sausage." I'm not sure how my mother copes....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dad would fart and say, "better put some oil on that door"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Were you born in a barn ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

pupil would say 'can I go to the toilet'

teacher would reply 'can you'

This would go on for a while until someone would step in and whisper 'may I ...' grr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it raining?

Dunno, call the dog in an see if he's wet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Watch my handbag.... Why does it do tricks

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

SW1A1AA

When pulling a face i was always told if the wind changes you will stay like that

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Is it raining?

Dunno, call the dog in an see if he's wet "

I tell you what I thought my family corny jokes were bad... I'd have been off with my little spotted hanky on a stick over my shoulder before I got to be ten year old in your household!!!

Your dad could have had his own slot on The Comedians.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you mind if I smoke?

Not as long as you don't mind if I fart

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'Mum whats for dinner?'

'Ifits,,,, If its in the cupboard you can have it, if its not unlucky....'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is it raining?

Dunno, call the dog in an see if he's wet

I tell you what I thought my family corny jokes were bad... I'd have been off with my little spotted hanky on a stick over my shoulder before I got to be ten year old in your household!!!

Your dad could have had his own slot on The Comedians."

Funny you should say that, he was the spitting image of Rigsby, and mom looked like Mrs Bucket

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By *ue care and attentionWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

What's for tea?"....shit with egg on!!

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