FabSwingers.com forum: The term" Vanilla"....

By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Am i the only one that dislikes it? I never use it to describe non swinging folk as i feel a lot of stuff is ordinary in the swinging world, what do you think?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Am i the only one that dislikes it? I never use it to describe non swinging folk as i feel a lot of stuff is ordinary in the swinging world, what do you think?

I don't get it. When they refer to their offline friends as being vanilla in the correct sense of the term, I often wonder how would they know what their friends get up to in the bedroom. They might be the kinkiest people in the uk. Just because people don't declare their sex lives openly on the internet doesnt mean they' re not leading very flavoursome lives. Most of the time the term is used out of context anyway. As for Vanilla World - no such place. If life is boring for anyone offline that puzzles me.

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Labels, labels, labels....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's useful shorthand in both the swinging and BDSM worlds.

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

One man's 'vanilla' is another man's 'dirty little bastard'.

I've never tried 'dirty little bastard' yet. We are talking about ice cream aren't we?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It should only apply to flavours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How many times has 'vanilla' come to our rescue when theres nothing else in the fridge.....its topped many an exotic fruit for me.... and vanilla is pretty damned tasty.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it is pretty presumptuous and disparaging

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

no likie it ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's better than 'normal' or 'boring' or 'non swinging' or 'those that don't swing' and we need sommat to reference swingers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

all my friends who dont swing are still my friends............no need to refer to them as "vanilla" friends.......cos ive licked one or 2 of them in the past and they taste just the same as those that are swingers

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"It's better than 'normal' or 'boring' or 'non swinging' or 'those that don't swing' and we need sommat to reference swingers. "
i wouldnt say people who dont swing are boring

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By *ornwall-maleMan
over a year ago

newquay

"Am i the only one that dislikes it? I never use it to describe non swinging folk as i feel a lot of stuff is ordinary in the swinging world, what do you think?

totally agree here specially about things being ordinary in the swinging world. i was actually nervous just thinking about joining here, but its just full of pretty much nice normal people you can have a good laugh with and good convo. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's better than 'normal' or 'boring' or 'non swinging' or 'those that don't swing' and we need sommat to reference swingers. i wouldnt say people who dont swing are boring

and being a swinger doesnt make a boring person anything other than......you guessed it boring

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's better than 'normal' or 'boring' or 'non swinging' or 'those that don't swing' and we need sommat to reference swingers. i wouldnt say people who dont swing are boring

Nope. Nor me but swingers would refer to monogamy as boring.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Vanilla is a BDSM term.

I haven't heard it mentioned in a swinging sense but don't see why it should be unless it's BDSM related.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Am i the only one that dislikes it? I never use it to describe non swinging folk as i feel a lot of stuff is ordinary in the swinging world, what do you think?

yeah but you haven't done your initiatione yet .........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't like it and I don't use it

Vanilla to meet is a food taste and that's all, anyone for icecream?

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Vanilla is a BDSM term.

I haven't heard it mentioned in a swinging sense but don't see why it should be unless it's BDSM related."
Its mentioned in the forums a lot thats what prompted the thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

non swinging- vanilla , swinging- what then ? strawberry ? raspberry ripple ?

I don't really like or dislike the term but don't use it or feel a need to find a label for those who do or dont.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Vanilla is a BDSM term.

I haven't heard it mentioned in a swinging sense but don't see why it should be unless it's BDSM related."

I'm not part of the BDSM world but have heard vanilla mentioned through the swinging world. I just take it to mean straight, bland sex of the most generic type, a bit like the icecream.

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By *ornwall-maleMan
over a year ago

newquay

"Am i the only one that dislikes it? I never use it to describe non swinging folk as i feel a lot of stuff is ordinary in the swinging world, what do you think?

yeah but you haven't done your initiatione yet ........."

and that would be? gulps!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don`t like the way people use the word..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I also don't like it and don't use it.

It also doesn't make sense to me as I absolutely LOVE vanilla!! So it's not plain or boring to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Vanilla is a BDSM term.

I haven't heard it mentioned in a swinging sense but don't see why it should be unless it's BDSM related.

I'm not part of the BDSM world but have heard vanilla mentioned through the swinging world. I just take it to mean straight, bland sex of the most generic type, a bit like the icecream. "

whenever i hear the term i just assume its what people call non swingers........not for a second would i imply that non swingers have bland sex. i only dip my toe and other bits into this now and then. so perhaps its the hardened swingers who stereotype about these vanilla people who only give it hammer and tong in the good old missionary position once a month

ps i luv vanilla flavoured ice cream

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Vanilla is a BDSM term.

I haven't heard it mentioned in a swinging sense but don't see why it should be unless it's BDSM related.

I'm not part of the BDSM world but have heard vanilla mentioned through the swinging world. I just take it to mean straight, bland sex of the most generic type, a bit like the icecream.

ps i luv vanilla flavoured ice cream

I love it too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Vanilla is a BDSM term.

I haven't heard it mentioned in a swinging sense but don't see why it should be unless it's BDSM related.

I'm not part of the BDSM world but have heard vanilla mentioned through the swinging world. I just take it to mean straight, bland sex of the most generic type, a bit like the icecream.

ps i luv vanilla flavoured ice cream

I love it too.

do you share

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Am i the only one that dislikes it? I never use it to describe non swinging folk as i feel a lot of stuff is ordinary in the swinging world, what do you think?

People who swing can be just as boring and as unimaginitive in bed as any group of people. You might offend by calling swingers normal though - even though thats what they are. Just people who have sex with other like minded people. I don't think many switched on people bat an eyelid about any type of sexual practices that go on these days.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Boorrrrrrr

iinnngggggg

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

It's a handy term. There is no question most of us understand what someone means if they said they went out to dinner with a vanilla couple or wanted a vanilla relationship. It's not exactly an offensive term and it saves words... like most handy terms.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"It's a handy term. There is no question most of us understand what someone means if they said they went out to dinner with a vanilla couple or wanted a vanilla relationship. It's not exactly an offensive term and it saves words... like most handy terms.

I take the second sentence back... as it appears some people have somehow gone down the track of it being about whether your sex is boring or not

.... but I did use the word 'most'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Alot of people seem to consider themselves on a different level from the folk who don`t enter the swinging world in an demonstrably accepted way....like they`re the only ones with a exciting sex life ...its becomes an elitist moniker ...and snobbish ..patronising and bloody deluded ...

I agree it can be a handy term fer those that prefer a dfferent lifestyle than swingers ....it should however be seen as a level playing field..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i dont like being labelled im me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i dont like being labelled im me

Thats funny I am 'me' too

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By *inktherapyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"It's better than 'normal' or 'boring' or 'non swinging' or 'those that don't swing' and we need sommat to reference swingers. i wouldnt say people who dont swing are boring

Nope. Nor me but swingers would refer to monogamy as boring. "

Oh no - I don't consider those friends of mine in monogamous relationships as being in a boring relationship. Monogamy doesn't have to be boring

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

is swingers not a label then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Am i the only one that dislikes it? I never use it to describe non swinging folk as i feel a lot of stuff is ordinary in the swinging world, what do you think?

Vanilla used by swingers is a little off the mark if truth be told. Its a term used by people in the BDSM scene to describe people who indulge in normal sexual activities. This can be oral, anal or standard intercourse. Swingers in general just indulge in these activities so in reality swinging is just another branch on the vanilla tree but with multiple partners.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A leading BDSM dictionary tells us vanilla is

"a term that refers to what a society considers to be standard or normal. It can be applied in various ways to refer to lifestyle, sex, behaviour or simply attitude. Different cultures, subcultures, and individuals have different ideas about what is normal and so vanilla has no direct meaning other than in relationship to the alternate under discussion."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A leading BDSM dictionary tells us vanilla is

And casual sex between consenting adults is pretty much the norm these days. Other quotes from the thousands of explications found on google will say all sorts. Vanilla or the use of the word is because it is plain as in ice cream. That is where it came from and as said before it was a term used to describe normal sexual activities. I could google, cut and paste examples till my mouse battery goes flat but i just haven't the time. Sorry.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

[Removed by poster at 22/02/11 12:28:51]

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

And casual sex between consenting adults is pretty much the norm these days. "

I have said it many times... a lot of what I do on here is not swinging and what a lot of singles do on here is no different to what people do who do not consider themselves to be swingers.

Yet plenty seem to feel the need to call it swinging to seperate themselves from 'vanilla' casual sex.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I had never heard of the vanilla term until the site owner used it one day in our mailbox....but have used it myself on an odd occasion, as it just means to me, someone who doesn't play these games, ie, swinging.

I don't think there is any harm in it and as another has said, swinging is a label too.

PS I don't like ice cream much anyway, but if I did have a bit , vanilla isn't the one I would choose

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"is swingers not a label then?"

i dont class myself as a swinger thou

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we all use labels even those that profess not to, i can say with fair certainty it will crop up in their day to day life at some point all be it maybe unwittingly

i use the term vanilla, i do not say it in a snearing way it is just a word that those within the swinging world will understand as to mean non swinging types, it may of started off in the BDSM world and it may of been pinched by swingers but does it really matter?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Am i the only one that dislikes it? I never use it to describe non swinging folk as i feel a lot of stuff is ordinary in the swinging world, what do you think?

It's hideous when it is used (as often it is on here) pejoratively.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"is swingers not a label then?

i dont class myself as a swinger thou"

fairy snuff hunny but then why are you on a swinging site?

please do not misconstrue what i say i am not saying you shouldn't be here just asking why join a swinging site if you do not consider yourself a swinger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Am i the only one that dislikes it? I never use it to describe non swinging folk as i feel a lot of stuff is ordinary in the swinging world, what do you think?

It's hideous when it is used (as often it is on here) pejoratively."

Couldn`t agree more ...

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

"Labels, labels, labels...."

I'm raspberry ripple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And casual sex between consenting adults is pretty much the norm these days.

I have said it many times... a lot of what I do on here is not swinging and what a lot of singles do on here is no different to what people do who do not consider themselves to be swingers.

Yet plenty seem to feel the need to call it swinging to seperate themselves from 'vanilla' casual sex."

I wonder if that's because, for the majority of the population, "'vanilla' casual sex" still carries connotations of promiscuity

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/02/11 12:46:30]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well i for one can assure you i have never used it pejoratively i have only ever used it as a simple term to mean non swingers

i do not think non swingers are lower than i as i was one for may years so why on earth would i wish to speak of them disparagingly

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

When I use the term 'vanilla' I use it to refer to people who would not approve of their partner saying "Hey I have been in contact with huge_cock_2011 and he's up for spitroast on Wednesday."

It does not mean they have crap sex because they don't approve of having sexual encounters with people other than their partner when they are in a relationship... it means they have a different moral code.

I have a vanilla fuck buddie and he's a fucking excellent shag... but he has no interest in anything other than 1-2-1 sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I use the term 'vanilla' I use it to refer to people who would not approve of their partner saying "Hey I have been in contact with huge_cock_2011 and he's up for spitroast on Wednesday."

I have a vanilla fuck buddie and he's a fucking excellent shag... but he has no interest in anything other than 1-2-1 sex."

bang on baby

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

And casual sex between consenting adults is pretty much the norm these days.

I have said it many times... a lot of what I do on here is not swinging and what a lot of singles do on here is no different to what people do who do not consider themselves to be swingers.

Yet plenty seem to feel the need to call it swinging to seperate themselves from 'vanilla' casual sex.

I wonder if that's because, for the majority of the population, "'vanilla' casual sex" still carries connotations of promiscuity

Are you suggesting their mindset may have similarities to the Ikea wardrobe section?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

.............

I wonder if that's because, for the majority of the population, "'vanilla' casual sex" still carries connotations of promiscuity

Are you suggesting their mindset may have similarities to the Ikea wardrobe section?"

I dunno. I've never ventured further into Ikea than the meatballs shelf.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

That pretty much covers it.

It's a descriptive for me... it's not meant to be offensive, it's just making the point that I'm talking about my 'nilla mates as opposed to my swingy mates.

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By *amschwingerzCouple
over a year ago

West

We have had it levelled at us a few time..cant say it bothers us at all really..except when its prefixed with 'boring'..that I/we dont like as we not far from boring..as our profile verifications will confirm.

But we have to accept the tag if we want to stay here..it really doesnt matter that much..

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

if use the word vanilla,i really am talking ice cream.

i find it just as easy,to say non swinging.

i do find,swingers for some reason.use a quite a lot,of substitute words,and terms.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It doesn't bother us either way, we just take it as a term that's carried over from the BDSM lifestyle.

To us its an easy way of meaning someone who's not into swinging or dislikes the idea of sex with anyone but their spouse or partner.

We certainly don't think that would make them boring, it doesn't mean they can't have an adventurous sex life just because they're not swingers.

XXXX

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

"if use the word vanilla,i really am talking ice cream.

i find it just as easy,to say non swinging.

i do find,swingers for some reason.use a quite a lot,of substitute words,and terms.

OK, I know Vanilla... Lets have some more please!

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By *umpkinMan
over a year ago

near the sounds of the wimborne quarter jack!

"...... 'normal' ......."

We can`t use the word "normal" to describe non-swingers unless they are rail travellers! The term "normals" has been used to describe regular train users by railway enthusiasts for several years and came from the BR station announcements about charter services ... "this train is for special ticket holders only and not for normal passengers"

So that means that us railway enthusiasts are abnormal?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...... ......

So that means that us railway enthusiasts are abnormal?

No more than your average anorak wearer

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