FabSwingers.com forum: How to help the un-confident

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What are your thoughts on those who lack confidence whether it's either the person has social anxiety or if they feel they're unattractive and want to give up completely?

How shall we help these poor souls to give them the confidence they need?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Joining the gym is good cos fitness can boost self-esteem and improve positive self-image

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"What are your thoughts on those who lack confidence whether it's either the person has social anxiety or if they feel they're unattractive and want to give up completely?

How shall we help these poor souls to give them the confidence they need? "

Shag 'em?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

drink!

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I don't think this is the right place for people lacking in confidence to try to find it, particularly if they are male.

Sometimes this place helps women with self esteem issues or low confidence but it can equally well have a damaging effect.

If you want to work on confidence, self esteem or social issues, a support group would probably be more helpful than fab.

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By *ittlemisssassypantsCouple
over a year ago

South East Wales

Wine!!

Sassy

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"drink! "

Double please!

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

I think for a lifestyle that relies on social interaction, they will really struggle and this may not be the best environment for them, tbh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think this is the right place for people lacking in confidence to try to find it, particularly if they are male.

Sometimes this place helps women with self esteem issues or low confidence but it can equally well have a damaging effect.

If you want to work on confidence, self esteem or social issues, a support group would probably be more helpful than fab."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"drink!

Double please!

haha

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

*pulls up a deck chair*

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I think for a lifestyle that relies on social interaction, they will really struggle and this may not be the best environment for them, tbh"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What are your thoughts on those who lack confidence whether it's either the person has social anxiety or if they feel they're unattractive and want to give up completely?

How shall we help these poor souls to give them the confidence they need? "

What do you propose? Personally, I don't feel any obligation in that respect.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"*pulls up a deck chair*"

Have you got your trousers rolled up and a knotted hankie on your head too?

Or maybe a knotted tin foil hat.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I don't feel obligated to no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being brutally honest I can't think of many worse environments than here for people lacking confidence.

Outside of here thereof lots of things you can do to improve confidence.

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By *0tt0nSu3Woman
over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 04/04/16 14:44:16]

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"*pulls up a deck chair*

Have you got your trousers rolled up and a knotted hankie on your head too?

Or maybe a knotted tin foil hat."

Linen suit, Panama and a cohiba as standard m'am.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Joining the gym is good cos fitness can boost self-esteem and improve positive self-image

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For a single bloke with Confidence issues this isn't the best place, it could make them a lot worse. Actually to much time on these sites can put you off sex sometimes....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think this is the right place for people lacking in confidence to try to find it, particularly if they are male.

Sometimes this place helps women with self esteem issues or low confidence but it can equally well have a damaging effect.

If you want to work on confidence, self esteem or social issues, a support group would probably be more helpful than fab."

100 % Agree with this statement ,this is not the kind of place to conquer those issues.I'd also suggest appropriate support groups first,perhaps therapy to get to the source of the issue ,reiki ,meditation & then joining a creative group or group of some sort of personal interest if the person is open to it & ready to attempt that kind of setting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had some confidence issues all my life.

Two key things

1. Confidence is something you have to work on yourself. Anyone can say nice things or say you're amazing but if you don't believe it yourself then it means nothing.

2. Learn not to give a fuck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why should we help them ?

Let them help themselves instead of looking to others for help.

They are in charge of their own life and should take responsibility for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get out in the real world get some life experience by gently pushing the boundaries and comfort levels.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

In my younger years, I seriously had confidence issues, mainly down to being bullied all through senior school. Plus throw in some inconsiderate family members and battling with my weight didn't help either.

As I've got older, I've got better and more comfortable & happy with myself. Plus I care less about what most other people think of me.

I'm still pretty reserved at times and in general prefer to be in the background rather than centre stage but I'm cool with that.

I still have wobbles in certain situations but I know what they are so I avoid them if possible.

I'm certainly not a poor soul that needs help or rescuing. I'm just human!

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"I've had some confidence issues all my life.

Two key things

1. Confidence is something you have to work on yourself. Anyone can say nice things or say you're amazing but if you don't believe it yourself then it means nothing.

2. Learn not to give a fuck."

Bollocks, could of saved myself some typing!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Set up a coffee social if you are in their locality....and make sure you personally invite them!

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By *c-ukMan
over a year ago

Sevenoaks

"What are your thoughts on those who lack confidence whether it's either the person has social anxiety or if they feel they're unattractive and want to give up completely?

How shall we help these poor souls to give them the confidence they need? "

Men - Keep well away from Fab!!

Women - Join Fab this instant !!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

You read a lot about lack of confidence, self esteem/self worth issues, coming out of damaging relationships and this place may help some come back from where they are, others not so much & some it will damage further.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What are your thoughts on those who lack confidence whether it's either the person has social anxiety or if they feel they're unattractive and want to give up completely?

How shall we help these poor souls to give them the confidence they need?

Shag 'em?"

Bang on there frisky nothing boost confidence like a steamy session

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You read a lot about lack of confidence, self esteem/self worth issues, coming out of damaging relationships and this place may help some come back from where they are, others not so much & some it will damage further."

especially you have to be careful of predatory people on here who will leave you feeling like shit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this guys so fishing for pity shags

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What are your thoughts on those who lack confidence whether it's either the person has social anxiety or if they feel they're unattractive and want to give up completely?

How shall we help these poor souls to give them the confidence they need? "

no charity shags here

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"this guys so fishing for pity shags "

That isn't very nice. He has issues with social interaction. I don't think he's in the right place to help with that but he's a right to be here and he's not breaking the rules by posting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"this guys so fishing for pity shags

That isn't very nice. He has issues with social interaction. I don't think he's in the right place to help with that but he's a right to be here and he's not breaking the rules by posting."

it was said in jest

if the op has a problem with it he can speak for himself

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I don't agree with any of the answers above.

To begin to help the 'unconfident' ( does that word even exist ? ) one simply has to care. Sadly I don't.

Howeverrrrrrrrrrrr......... to help those lacking in confidence one first has to find the root cause and take teeny weeny steps.

My bill is in the post.

Come again to Grannies' Panacea Emporium.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Nervous newbies im happy to meet socially and help. People with issues of going to places i will help. But i wont help those who wont help themselves.

I know you have autism op and it affects people differently but there at least a few on here with autism that help themselves.

Youve been here a good while now op and put a lot of similar threads up and ive not seen you take anyones advice yet.

Try living your life around your condition and not through it.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"That isn't very nice. He has issues with social interaction. I don't think he's in the right place to help with that but he's a right to be here and he's not breaking the rules by posting.

it was said in jest

if the op has a problem with it he can speak for himself

No it wasn't said in jest.

Yes the OP is obviously talking about himself and people in a similar situation to him. He didn't ask anyone for a shag though.

Certainly if the OP objects he can say so but since this is a public forum, if I think you're being mean, I can also say so.

Don't be mean. Social anxiety can be very debilitating.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"this guys so fishing for pity shags

That isn't very nice. He has issues with social interaction. I don't think he's in the right place to help with that but he's a right to be here and he's not breaking the rules by posting.

it was said in jest

if the op has a problem with it he can speak for himself

Whilst shaking and sweating .... but he can do it ! He can do it!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What are your thoughts on those who lack confidence whether it's either the person has social anxiety or if they feel they're unattractive and want to give up completely?

How shall we help these poor souls to give them the confidence they need?

no charity shags here"

Was I asking? No. I'm talking about the un-confident in general

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"this guys so fishing for pity shags

That isn't very nice. He has issues with social interaction. I don't think he's in the right place to help with that but he's a right to be here and he's not breaking the rules by posting.

it was said in jest

if the op has a problem with it he can speak for himself

I believe you said it in jest.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

And what's more this isn't a doctors waiting room NOR a bloody counselling clinic and there is no pre requisite to give good advice to anyone.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Nervous newbies im happy to meet socially and help. People with issues of going to places i will help. But i wont help those who wont help themselves.

I know you have autism op and it affects people differently but there at least a few on here with autism that help themselves.

Youve been here a good while now op and put a lot of similar threads up and ive not seen you take anyones advice yet.

Try living your life around your condition and not through it. "

Also very good advice. I agree with this too.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"What are your thoughts on those who lack confidence whether it's either the person has social anxiety or if they feel they're unattractive and want to give up completely?

How shall we help these poor souls to give them the confidence they need?

no charity shags here

Was I asking? No. I'm talking about the un-confident in general "

Tadaaaaaaaaaaa x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That isn't very nice. He has issues with social interaction. I don't think he's in the right place to help with that but he's a right to be here and he's not breaking the rules by posting.

it was said in jest

if the op has a problem with it he can speak for himself

No it wasn't said in jest.

Yes the OP is obviously talking about himself and people in a similar situation to him. He didn't ask anyone for a shag though.

Certainly if the OP objects he can say so but since this is a public forum, if I think you're being mean, I can also say so.

Don't be mean. Social anxiety can be very debilitating."

you are entitled to your opinion

however wrong it is

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"And what's more this isn't a doctors waiting room NOR a bloody counselling clinic and there is no pre requisite to give good advice to anyone.

Not a doctor's waiting room?

Are you sure? We do seem to get a lot of "my toe swelled up a week ago and has now turned black, should I go and see a doctor?" threads.

I thought government cuts had meant fabswingers had been amalgamated with the NHS advice line.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"this guys so fishing for pity shags

That isn't very nice. He has issues with social interaction. I don't think he's in the right place to help with that but he's a right to be here and he's not breaking the rules by posting.

it was said in jest

if the op has a problem with it he can speak for himself

I believe you said it in jest. "

thanks granny C

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"And what's more this isn't a doctors waiting room NOR a bloody counselling clinic and there is no pre requisite to give good advice to anyone.

Not a doctor's waiting room?

Are you sure? We do seem to get a lot of "my toe swelled up a week ago and has now turned black, should I go and see a doctor?" threads.

I thought government cuts had meant fabswingers had been amalgamated with the NHS advice line."

Okay .... answer me this....

I have something where a bunion should be. It's not a bunion. I refuse to have a bunion. Besides - it's the wrong shape. It looks like a dogs bone but it's the size of half a matchstick .... it looks like a misplaced bone but surely It can't be.

Now .... cure me.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"That isn't very nice. He has issues with social interaction. I don't think he's in the right place to help with that but he's a right to be here and he's not breaking the rules by posting.

it was said in jest

if the op has a problem with it he can speak for himself

No it wasn't said in jest.

Yes the OP is obviously talking about himself and people in a similar situation to him. He didn't ask anyone for a shag though.

Certainly if the OP objects he can say so but since this is a public forum, if I think you're being mean, I can also say so.

Don't be mean. Social anxiety can be very debilitating.

you are entitled to your opinion

however wrong it is

Yeah, yeah.

Leave the guy alone if you can't say anything constructive. He didn't ask anyone for a shag.

I get tired of his repetitive threads too but he's not breaking any rules. There's no need to be nasty to him.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"this guys so fishing for pity shags

That isn't very nice. He has issues with social interaction. I don't think he's in the right place to help with that but he's a right to be here and he's not breaking the rules by posting.

it was said in jest

if the op has a problem with it he can speak for himself

I believe you said it in jest.

thanks granny C

No problem. Piss poor joke but a joke none the less. Don't wink at me either.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"And what's more this isn't a doctors waiting room NOR a bloody counselling clinic and there is no pre requisite to give good advice to anyone.

Not a doctor's waiting room?

Are you sure? We do seem to get a lot of "my toe swelled up a week ago and has now turned black, should I go and see a doctor?" threads.

I thought government cuts had meant fabswingers had been amalgamated with the NHS advice line.

Okay .... answer me this....

Now .... cure me. "

Ok, I'll fetch my hacksaw. You find a wooden spoon to bite down on. There must be plenty about in here given the amount of stirring done.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"That isn't very nice. He has issues with social interaction. I don't think he's in the right place to help with that but he's a right to be here and he's not breaking the rules by posting.

it was said in jest

if the op has a problem with it he can speak for himself

No it wasn't said in jest.

Yes the OP is obviously talking about himself and people in a similar situation to him. He didn't ask anyone for a shag though.

Certainly if the OP objects he can say so but since this is a public forum, if I think you're being mean, I can also say so.

Don't be mean. Social anxiety can be very debilitating.

you are entitled to your opinion

however wrong it is

Yeah, yeah.

Leave the guy alone if you can't say anything constructive. He didn't ask anyone for a shag.

I get tired of his repetitive threads too but he's not breaking any rules. There's no need to be nasty to him."

Never mind this. See to my foot.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"this guys so fishing for pity shags

That isn't very nice. He has issues with social interaction. I don't think he's in the right place to help with that but he's a right to be here and he's not breaking the rules by posting.

it was said in jest

if the op has a problem with it he can speak for himself

I believe you said it in jest.

thanks granny C

No problem. Piss poor joke but a joke none the less. Don't wink at me either. "

He wasn't winking. He's got something in his eye. He's waiting for medical advice.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Oh. Cruel.

I'd prefer something less ' deconstructive'

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"That isn't very nice. He has issues with social interaction. I don't think he's in the right place to help with that but he's a right to be here and he's not breaking the rules by posting.

it was said in jest

if the op has a problem with it he can speak for himself

No it wasn't said in jest.

Yes the OP is obviously talking about himself and people in a similar situation to him. He didn't ask anyone for a shag though.

Certainly if the OP objects he can say so but since this is a public forum, if I think you're being mean, I can also say so.

Don't be mean. Social anxiety can be very debilitating.

you are entitled to your opinion

however wrong it is

Yeah, yeah.

Leave the guy alone if you can't say anything constructive. He didn't ask anyone for a shag.

I get tired of his repetitive threads too but he's not breaking any rules. There's no need to be nasty to him.

Never mind this. See to my foot."

Ok, bite down on the spoon. This won't hurt. Much.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

about my foot i mean.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Oh. Cruel.

I'd prefer something less ' deconstructive' "

I could try sticking it in the vice and squishing it back in?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Somehow I get the feeling that if my finger nail broke i'd be minus a finger at Dr. Dee Viante's

shit clinic this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"this guys so fishing for pity shags

That isn't very nice. He has issues with social interaction. I don't think he's in the right place to help with that but he's a right to be here and he's not breaking the rules by posting.

it was said in jest

if the op has a problem with it he can speak for himself

I believe you said it in jest.

thanks granny C

No problem. Piss poor joke but a joke none the less. Don't wink at me either. "

sorry

and for the record. ive had to deal with social anxiety myself

but thats another story for another time

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Oh. Cruel.

I'd prefer something less ' deconstructive'

I could try sticking it in the vice and squishing it back in?"

I've tried pushing it. It just laughs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"this guys so fishing for pity shags

That isn't very nice. He has issues with social interaction. I don't think he's in the right place to help with that but he's a right to be here and he's not breaking the rules by posting.

it was said in jest

if the op has a problem with it he can speak for himself

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"this guys so fishing for pity shags

That isn't very nice. He has issues with social interaction. I don't think he's in the right place to help with that but he's a right to be here and he's not breaking the rules by posting.

it was said in jest

if the op has a problem with it he can speak for himself

I believe you said it in jest.

thanks granny C

No problem. Piss poor joke but a joke none the less. Don't wink at me either.

sorry

and for the record. ive had to deal with social anxiety myself

but thats another story for another time

No story needed. Your anxiety has lessened since you first joined. I remember you from the off....... pretty shy .... pretty and shy. Lots of bravado xx

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

To be bluntly honest I'd advise anyone with those social issues to leave fab and seek support via counsiling, this isn't the place to find confidence. I've seen The most confident of guys suffer from esteem issues after a stint on fab, and in confident women come on here then take the "compliments" to their heads and developed a false sense of confidence or an ego

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

"To be bluntly honest I'd advise anyone with those social issues to leave fab and seek support via counsiling, this isn't the place to find confidence. I've seen The most confident of guys suffer from esteem issues after a stint on fab, and in confident women come on here then take the "compliments" to their heads and developed a false sense of confidence or an ego "

* un confident women not in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just fake confidence and pretend you don't hate yourself. Eventually you start believing the lie, works for me

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

"*pulls up a deck chair*"

It's not the weather for deck chairs

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Having a positive mind set is a good start and feeling good about yourself. I'm a confident guy mostly but suffer from bouts of self doubt on occasion though. No idea why.

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

How shall we help these poor souls to give them the confidence they need? "

Ooh ever so slightly patronising in my opinion

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Having a positive mind set is a good start and feeling good about yourself. I'm a confident guy mostly but suffer from bouts of self doubt on occasion though. No idea why. "

I can see your bum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This

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By *erfectman122Man
over a year ago

from somewhere nice

Learn to like your self if you can't like your self how can you expect others to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab is certainly not the best place for those without confidence. However, I think that if your confidence is seriously shaken on here then you're not really confident at all.

If you're confidence is tied up in whether or not someone wants to fuck you then the problem may be a little deeper.

I'm not very confident in many aspects. I don't think I am attractive, but I am confident in who I am as a person and that has garnered far more positive responses

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Somehow I get the feeling that if my finger nail broke i'd be minus a finger at Dr. Dee Viante's

shit clinic this "

The nail would never break again. Some people are never satisfied

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

S pose I have got nine others

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

Fab is certainly not the best place for those without confidence. However, I think that if your confidence is seriously shaken on here then you're not really confident at all.

If you're confidence is tied up in whether or not someone wants to fuck you then the problem may be a little deeper.

I'm not very confident in many aspects. I don't think I am attractive, but I am confident in who I am as a person and that has garnered far more positive responses"

I would say that regardless of how confident you are after a while constant rejection (which is typically what men on here encounter) would take its toll on anyone. Why do you think they're so many "am I ugly?" Threads from guys which usually say wording along the lines of "I have no trouble in the real world but on here....."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

After having a think, I think some of the social anxiety runs deep to my childhood which may have caused psychological affects I never realized

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab is certainly not the best place for those without confidence. However, I think that if your confidence is seriously shaken on here then you're not really confident at all.

If you're confidence is tied up in whether or not someone wants to fuck you then the problem may be a little deeper.

I'm not very confident in many aspects. I don't think I am attractive, but I am confident in who I am as a person and that has garnered far more positive responses

No doubt constant rejection would hurt anyone, but they do nothing to help themselves.

Do you believe them every time they say they have no trouble in the real world? We have no way of knowing if they are being honest about that.

In my honest opinion there are so many 'Am I Ugly?' thread because they are attention seeking, not all but most probably are.

Look at the 'Am I Ugly?' or 'Why can't I get a meet?' threads, they are the same thing every time, no effort in the profile, no pictures or bad pictures, or just cock pictures. Then they do nothing when given advice. In the real world do they go and get their cock out and expect women to fall at their feet.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"S pose I have got nine others"

Exactly!

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"After having a think, I think some of the social anxiety runs deep to my childhood which may have caused psychological affects I never realized "

You need counselling. From someone qualified and experienced.

You won't get that on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had some confidence issues all my life.

Two key things

1. Confidence is something you have to work on yourself. Anyone can say nice things or say you're amazing but if you don't believe it yourself then it means nothing.

2. Learn not to give a fuck."

Too many people listen to the negative stuff people say about them and believe it.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I've had some confidence issues all my life.

Two key things

1. Confidence is something you have to work on yourself. Anyone can say nice things or say you're amazing but if you don't believe it yourself then it means nothing.

2. Learn not to give a fuck.

Too many people listen to the negative stuff people say about them and believe it. "

Your underpants have frayed elastic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab is certainly not the best place for those without confidence. However, I think that if your confidence is seriously shaken on here then you're not really confident at all.

If you're confidence is tied up in whether or not someone wants to fuck you then the problem may be a little deeper.

I'm not very confident in many aspects. I don't think I am attractive, but I am confident in who I am as a person and that has garnered far more positive responses"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've had some confidence issues all my life.

Two key things

1. Confidence is something you have to work on yourself. Anyone can say nice things or say you're amazing but if you don't believe it yourself then it means nothing.

2. Learn not to give a fuck.

Too many people listen to the negative stuff people say about them and believe it. "

It can happen even from when you're a kid. I should know as I remember getting picked on at school. Being called woodsider was the worst

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why should we help them ?

Let them help themselves instead of looking to others for help.

They are in charge of their own life and should take responsibility for it."

Just aye!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What are your thoughts on those who lack confidence whether it's either the person has social anxiety or if they feel they're unattractive and want to give up completely?

How shall we help these poor souls to give them the confidence they need? "
I find saying it how it really is help and it don't have to be nasty . If a person lack confidence taking thing slow and lots of chatting helps.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I now realize that the constant bullying and teasing as a child affected me deeply making me believe throughout my younger years that I was ugly, retarded and will die alone.

It's no wonder I nearly commuted suicide back in college over 10 years ago

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I now realize that the constant bullying and teasing as a child affected me deeply making me believe throughout my younger years that I was ugly, retarded and will die alone.

It's no wonder I nearly commuted suicide back in college over 10 years ago"

nearly ?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Pardon me smiling at commuted.

A commuted suicide is the MOST amazing title for a book.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I now realize that the constant bullying and teasing as a child affected me deeply making me believe throughout my younger years that I was ugly, retarded and will die alone.

It's no wonder I nearly commuted suicide back in college over 10 years ago

nearly ?"

What are you implying?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I now realize that the constant bullying and teasing as a child affected me deeply making me believe throughout my younger years that I was ugly, retarded and will die alone.

It's no wonder I nearly commuted suicide back in college over 10 years ago

nearly ?

What are you implying? "

I didn't imply anything

Roger Wilco Over and Out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I now realize that the constant bullying and teasing as a child affected me deeply making me believe throughout my younger years that I was ugly, retarded and will die alone.

It's no wonder I nearly commuted suicide back in college over 10 years ago"

If you need help or to talk things through with someone it is available (and I'd recommend you do - just Google it and visit your GP), but I don't think you'll be able to get the support you need through Fab I'm afraid.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I now realize that the constant bullying and teasing as a child affected me deeply making me believe throughout my younger years that I was ugly, retarded and will die alone.

It's no wonder I nearly commuted suicide back in college over 10 years ago

Fair point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To encourage them when they email ... Letting them down gently ...

I'm a confidence coach and I coach both men and women and I sometimes coach in Fab .... If they ask ..... Small achievements for us may be huge for them....in an area they want to feel good at .... Encouragement we can give X

Mwah

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"To encourage them when they email ... Letting them down gently ...

Mwah "

What advice can you give on gaining confidence?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"To encourage them when they email ... Letting them down gently ...

Mwah

What advice can you give on gaining confidence? "
the other week on one of your threads i asked if there where support groups for people with autism someone commented yes through your gp. Did you go to your gp and find out?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"To encourage them when they email ... Letting them down gently ...

Mwah

What advice can you give on gaining confidence? the other week on one of your threads i asked if there where support groups for people with autism someone commented yes through your gp. Did you go to your gp and find out?"

I didn't have the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What are your thoughts on those who lack confidence whether it's either the person has social anxiety or if they feel they're unattractive and want to give up completely?

How shall we help these poor souls to give them the confidence they need?

Shag 'em?"
what a hood answer

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"To encourage them when they email ... Letting them down gently ...

Mwah

I didn't have the time."
maybe make time all you got to do is ring and make an appointment. Ive seen loads of things suggested to help you

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"What are your thoughts on those who lack confidence whether it's either the person has social anxiety or if they feel they're unattractive and want to give up completely?

How shall we help these poor souls to give them the confidence they need?

Shag 'em?what a hood answer

Good??

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"To encourage them when they email ... Letting them down gently ...

Mwah

I didn't have the time."

Then my advice would be, find the time. Some things are more important than others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To encourage them when they email ... Letting them down gently ...

Mwah

What advice can you give on gaining confidence? "

my best tips are;

stop listening to people who have their own issues and need to put others down to make themselves feel better.

look at yourself, you will have real qualities that can be admired.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

noones mentioned alcohol yet

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"To encourage them when they email ... Letting them down gently ...

Mwah

What advice can you give on gaining confidence?

my best tips are;

stop listening to people who have their own issues and need to put others down to make themselves feel better.

look at yourself, you will have real qualities that can be admired."

That is good advice

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"noones mentioned alcohol yet

Yeah, the third poster did, lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP as others have said you repeatedly start similar but don't seem willing to actually help yourself. I have massive social anxiety, am very likely somewhere at the lower end of the autistic spectrum, was bullied throughout school and had emotionally abusive parents leaving me with zero self belief.

So believe me when I say I cam relate to you I really can. But repeatedly asking the same questions will never change anything unless you act on it. I've had CBT, I used to regularly push myself outside of my comfort zone when I was your age and put myself in social situations I feared. These days I still stress but avoid certain scenarios and having coping mechanisms for many others. I've been swinging for years as a single and a couple and have had dozens of meets, been to clubs, been to socials and think I've been pretty successful

It's not easy but you can do it. But the key words is YOU. No one else csn do it for you. People can can give you help advice and encouragement but unless you act on it and unless you truly want to change they are wasting their time

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Having a positive mind set is a good start and feeling good about yourself. I'm a confident guy mostly but suffer from bouts of self doubt on occasion though. No idea why.

I can see your bum."

You're supposed to be looking st the oven perspective

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

I was going to suggest more fibre in your diet, then I realised it didn't say incontinent..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To encourage them when they email ... Letting them down gently ...

Mwah

What advice can you give on gaining confidence?

my best tips are;

stop listening to people who have their own issues and need to put others down to make themselves feel better.

look at yourself, you will have real qualities that can be admired.

That is good advice"

you're welcome.

can't really think of anything else that helps with confidence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And why a poor soul ,? A lot have fun and lust on there mind .. poor don't come into it .

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Individuals need desire and motivation to have greatest chance of change imo. And sometimes our issues exist for good reason.

And anxiety can be very different to just not having confidence.

Identify what the issues are, so you know where you're starting from, to work out your road map.

Maybe someone needs their skills developing too. Different beliefs? - possibly. Confidence may be an emotional state that's unique, coupled with full-on determination and ability to get stuck in and engaged socially with others.

Sometimes we can just be 100% working it socially, like how a hot knife can slide through butter - we're engaging, involved with others, a full-on master social butterfly. No doubts, hesitation or awkwardness.

I don't know your friends but do know that expectations and pressures are often the equivalent of shoving seeds in a furnace, expecting them to grow more quickly, rather than shrivel and burn.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had some confidence issues all my life.

Two key things

1. Confidence is something you have to work on yourself. Anyone can say nice things or say you're amazing but if you don't believe it yourself then it means nothing.

2. Learn not to give a fuck.

Too many people listen to the negative stuff people say about them and believe it.

Your underpants have frayed elastic "

Not all of them, only 8 pairs.

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

"Joining the gym is good cos fitness can boost self-esteem and improve positive self-image

I never felt that helped me at all, if anything it made the self consciousness even worse.

For me it was getting out on the bike, motorcycle or road bike. Once the helmet or sunglasses went on I felt I had shut out the outside world, it was only me and the bike, nothing could get in my way metaphorically speaking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What are your thoughts on those who lack confidence whether it's either the person has social anxiety or if they feel they're unattractive and want to give up completely?

How shall we help these poor souls to give them the confidence they need?

Shag 'em?what a hood answer

Good as well

Good??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Learn to like your self if you can't like your self how can you expect others to

Well said ! True healing comes from within.You are not defined by others opinions & don't need validation from anybody other than yourself.

As for social situations , the more you push your boundaries & put yourself in new ones the easier it becomes over time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What are your thoughts on those who lack confidence whether it's either the person has social anxiety or if they feel they're unattractive and want to give up completely?

How shall we help these poor souls to give them the confidence they need?

Shag 'em?"

I'd say hi and ask for your help...but I really lack the self confidence.....

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