FabSwingers.com forum: Andrex toilet paper

By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

On the wrapper it even tells you how to wipe your arse on there...I only just noticed as I was reading it while doing a shit....cheers Andrex I now know how to wipe my bum bum

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Spill the beans!

Have you been doing it wrong all these years?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my andrex has puppies printed on it

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Spill the beans!

Have you been doing it wrong all these years?"

Nope I do it front to back my flange does not need to see the contents of my bum bum hole

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm definely a two sheet guy, couldn't use 1 sheet for 1 wipe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"On the wrapper it even tells you how to wipe your arse on there...I only just noticed as I was reading it while doing a shit....cheers Andrex I now know how to wipe my bum bum

Wonder if that's in case people do it wrong and try and sue them?

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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

Does it have wipe front to back diagrams on it too? *i am too lazy to go upstairs and look*

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Im shocked and dismayed that you shit

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"I'm definely a two sheet guy, couldn't use 1 sheet for 1 wipe."

My ex used to dispare with me I use a lot of toilet roll

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By *ngel n tedCouple
over a year ago

maidstone

"my andrex has puppies printed on it

That's weird, i've just bought some puppies with andrex printed on them

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Does it have wipe front to back diagrams on it too? *i am too lazy to go upstairs and look*

No just wording

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Those ads where kids talk about how clean their arse holes are creeps me out.

Are they Andrex ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyways I prefer Aldi's version, "fandrex".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im shocked and dismayed that you shit "

Me too!....I take comfort in the hope that it smells of roses though....

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Im shocked and dismayed that you shit

Me too!....I take comfort in the hope that it smells of roses though...."

Ermmm not after a night out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm definely a two sheet guy, couldn't use 1 sheet for 1 wipe."

Two in total or two at a time?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i just cant deal with a lady talking about taking a shit

women dont do poo`s in my mind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Still use izal paper here.

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"i just cant deal with a lady talking about taking a shit

women dont do poo`s in my mind

I ain't no lady

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've heard the SAS only need 3 sheets...

One up

One down

One to polish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're all too posh for me - shades does just fine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bloody Labrador keeps running away with it and he's now 12 years old lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm definely a two sheet guy, couldn't use 1 sheet for 1 wipe.

Two in total or two at a time?"

Two sheets at a time, however if I'm doing the big no2 then I may go for 3 sheets.

EURGH THIS THREAD IS ACTUALLY MINGING LMFAO

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm definely a two sheet guy, couldn't use 1 sheet for 1 wipe.

Two in total or two at a time?

Two sheets at a time, however if I'm doing the big no2 then I may go for 3 sheets.

EURGH THIS THREAD IS ACTUALLY MINGING LMFAO"

Thank fuck for that else you'd have a massive tiger stripe

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"I'm definely a two sheet guy, couldn't use 1 sheet for 1 wipe.

Two in total or two at a time?

Two sheets at a time, however if I'm doing the big no2 then I may go for 3 sheets.

EURGH THIS THREAD IS ACTUALLY MINGING LMFAO"

You will be able to manage your skid marks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/04/16 20:33:47]

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I have quilted velvet, (don't blame me, my mum moans if I don't buy quilted bog roll

), I need to go see if that's the same now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm definely a two sheet guy, couldn't use 1 sheet for 1 wipe.

Two in total or two at a time?

Two sheets at a time, however if I'm doing the big no2 then I may go for 3 sheets.

EURGH THIS THREAD IS ACTUALLY MINGING LMFAO

You will be able to manage your skid marks

oh hell no. I don't have skids for anyone reading this. I don't.

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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

"I'm definely a two sheet guy, couldn't use 1 sheet for 1 wipe.

Two in total or two at a time?

Two sheets at a time, however if I'm doing the big no2 then I may go for 3 sheets.

EURGH THIS THREAD IS ACTUALLY MINGING LMFAO

You will be able to manage your skid marks

oh hell no. I don't have skids for anyone reading this. I don't.

Don't worry it is perfectly acceptable in the niche fetish world

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have quilted velvet, (don't blame me, my mum moans if I don't buy quilted bog roll

), I need to go see if that's the same now."

I thought you would be using a pvc version

Actually that doesn't project very good images

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm definely a two sheet guy, couldn't use 1 sheet for 1 wipe.

Two in total or two at a time?

Two sheets at a time, however if I'm doing the big no2 then I may go for 3 sheets.

EURGH THIS THREAD IS ACTUALLY MINGING LMFAO

You will be able to manage your skid marks

oh hell no. I don't have skids for anyone reading this. I don't.

Don't worry it is perfectly acceptable in the niche fetish world

I dont fucking have them! Right niiiiiiiight all!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've heard the SAS only need 3 sheets...

One up

One down

One to polish "

I heard that from Red Dwarf

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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

"I'm definely a two sheet guy, couldn't use 1 sheet for 1 wipe.

Two in total or two at a time?

Two sheets at a time, however if I'm doing the big no2 then I may go for 3 sheets.

EURGH THIS THREAD IS ACTUALLY MINGING LMFAO

You will be able to manage your skid marks

oh hell no. I don't have skids for anyone reading this. I don't.

Don't worry it is perfectly acceptable in the niche fetish world

I dont fucking have them! Right niiiiiiiight all!"

Don't go I was only playing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Much better than the tracing paper toilet paper we had at school.

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

We seem to get through loads!! Bought some from Farmfoods (for the kids

) & it's actually ok - called Nicky though!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Those ads where kids talk about how clean their arse holes are creeps me out.

Are they Andrex ?"

Yep......and would you want to describe your arse as "clean as a squid"?.... If mine was I think I'd be making an appointment with my physician!

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"We seem to get through loads!! Bought some from Farmfoods (for the kids

) & it's actually ok - called Nicky though!!!"

I've used that it was on offer in Morrisons it's actually quite good though it doesn't tell you how to wipe your bum bum

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I'll just stick to Charmin thanks

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

As clean as a chocolate starfish .......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't use the ones coated in aloe Vera your there forever it just keeps sliding off your arse cheeks

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

"We seem to get through loads!! Bought some from Farmfoods (for the kids

) & it's actually ok - called Nicky though!!!

I've used that it was on offer in Morrisons it's actually quite good though it doesn't tell you how to wipe your bum bum

We have those wipes for after

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Andrex plays havoc with my bog, it's as thick as woodchip wallpaper and blocks the drain after a quick wipe. Don't talk to me about the aloe vera version - smears shite up to the back of me neck.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I have quilted velvet, (don't blame me, my mum moans if I don't buy quilted bog roll

), I need to go see if that's the same now.

I thought you would be using a pvc version

Actually that doesn't project very good images

S.O.D.O.F.F.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have quilted velvet, (don't blame me, my mum moans if I don't buy quilted bog roll

), I need to go see if that's the same now.

I thought you would be using a pvc version

Actually that doesn't project very good images

S.O.D.O.F.F.

No need to get shitty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"my andrex has puppies printed on it

We call these 'Ass puppies'

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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

"Andrex plays havoc with my bog, it's as thick as woodchip wallpaper and blocks the drain after a quick wipe. Don't talk to me about the aloe vera version - smears shite up to the back of me neck."

pics or it never happened

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In tibet they pop a couple of slugs in their pants for 5 mins and then release them.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I have quilted velvet, (don't blame me, my mum moans if I don't buy quilted bog roll

), I need to go see if that's the same now.

I thought you would be using a pvc version

Actually that doesn't project very good images

S.O.D.O.F.F.

No need to get shitty

D.O.U.B.L.E.S.O.D.O.F.F!

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"On the wrapper it even tells you how to wipe your arse on there...I only just noticed as I was reading it while doing a shit....cheers Andrex I now know how to wipe my bum bum

Omg, at last, finally the definitive last word to once and for all settle the most fundamental question of human existence.

So tell us, does it say we should fold or scrunch?

(It's fold, obvs)

Mr ddc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Andrex plays havoc with my bog, it's as thick as woodchip wallpaper and blocks the drain after a quick wipe. Don't talk to me about the aloe vera version - smears shite up to the back of me neck.

pics or it never happened

Ok, It was only up to my arm pits not my neck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Andrex plays havoc with my bog, it's as thick as woodchip wallpaper and blocks the drain after a quick wipe. Don't talk to me about the aloe vera version - smears shite up to the back of me neck.

pics or it never happened

Ok, It was only up to my arm pits not my neck."

Should be the other way round. Well branded bog paper is design to degrade fast rather than the cheaper supermarket branded stuff.

One of my rules of life don't buy cheap toilet paper or bin bags.

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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago

Northampton

"Don't use the ones coated in aloe Vera your there forever it just keeps sliding off your arse cheeks"

Exactly!! Horrible stuff! It was like trying to wipe my arse on a window!

(Don't ask how I know....)

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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

"Andrex plays havoc with my bog, it's as thick as woodchip wallpaper and blocks the drain after a quick wipe. Don't talk to me about the aloe vera version - smears shite up to the back of me neck.

pics or it never happened

Ok, It was only up to my arm pits not my neck."

Still want to see for myself but I will let it pass as I don't want to look like a weirdo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Still use izal paper here."

Luxury ! Newspaper, torn into strips. Nothing like it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm on a budget - strips of towel which are washed and re-used here....

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"I'm on a budget - strips of towel which are washed and re-used here...."

Classy

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I can now confirm Quilted Velvet does not have wipeage instructions on the packaging.

It does inform me that the average roll length is 19.97m though.

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"I can now confirm Quilted Velvet does not have wipeage instructions on the packaging.

It does inform me that the average roll length is 19.97m though."

Haha

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Please skid mark offenders - learn how to use such materials properly. And completely.

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

One sheet?

Admit it, that is a finger through the paper time isn't it!

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Sainsbury's loo roll doesn't have instructions

Does suggest wet wipes though.

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By *heOwlMan
over a year ago

Altrincham

"I'm definely a two sheet guy, couldn't use 1 sheet for 1 wipe."

Two sheets only, the only time I use only two sheets at a time is either in multiples to cover the seat, or to put in the loo to stop splash back (even then more than two sheets is needed).

Owl.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

You people are vile

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By *rank n BettyCouple
over a year ago

Not meeting

All part of health and safety

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm definely a two sheet guy, couldn't use 1 sheet for 1 wipe.

My ex used to dispare with me I use a lot of toilet roll

Cut back on the anal

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By *tarlord6969Man
over a year ago

stockport

[Removed by poster at 04/04/16 14:03:14]

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By *tarlord6969Man
over a year ago

stockport

"my andrex has puppies printed on it

Hmmmm you won't mind if I ask to see those puppies of yours then??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm actually reading this thread whilst on the loo.

Oh the irony.

I think it should also be renamed as: "learn about your favorite forumites' loo habits"

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

"my andrex has puppies printed on it

That's weird, i've just bought some puppies with andrex printed on them"

Please do not wipe your bottom on the Andrex puuppy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Spill the beans!

Have you been doing it wrong all these years?"

North to South, not south to north I'll wager.....

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

You lot are disgusting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You lot are disgusting

Hey, we just go where the op takes us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't believe Diamondsmiles hasn't commented. Must be the first poo thread ever that she has missed

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By *anaduABCMan
over a year ago

Dublin

This thread is shit

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"This thread is shit"

Do you want clinkers with that ?

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By *anaduABCMan
over a year ago

Dublin

"This thread is shit

Do you want clinkers with that ?"

I googled that and im still lost-

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