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In too deep!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Started talking to a married lady (husband unaware) on here all was good then something tragic happened in here life and obvisly I was only wanting the NSA now I'm on kik being kind obvisly and the only person she feels she can talk too.

She is off this site now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We'll be a gent and help her through her troubles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*well

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

And?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest - if you're a true friend - don't talk about it on here. Tell her how you truly feel.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Be kind, full stop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To be honest - if you're a true friend - don't talk about it on here. Tell her how you truly feel. "

This got to accept this can happen when playing with someone who is married and on here in secret

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

She needs someone anonymous to talk to, so talk to her and don't mention sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To be honest - if you're a true friend - don't talk about it on here. Tell her how you truly feel. "

obviously you've not said how long ago this tragic event was, how dependent on you she is etc and how 'reasonable' the level of support you're providing is.

If it's recent and raw then be there for her. If it's ages ago and you feel trapped and she can't move on then you need to have that honest talk about who else would be appropriate to help.

It's very hard for us to answer as we don't know the full ins and outs of this - be the best friend you can be by either being there for her or directing her to someone more appropriate or qualified to help

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Be kind, full stop."

this. You know what to do, you really do. Don't ask us we are all reprobates... (waits for the "I'm not a reprobate" replies)

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

say goodbye......

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Ok, you didnt sign up for this but it sounds as though its something thats just happened to her. Either be a friend for her to talk to ot walk away. If you chose to walk away dont feel guilty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do what is right for you? If you only wanted one thing, move on. If you've developed feelings or friendship, Then be nice, as aforementioned. I personally wouldn't get involved with a married lady in those circumstances, I'd probably feel like I wasn't helping the root cause.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ


"And?"

I went to feed the ducks today

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Started talking to a married lady (husband unaware) on here all was good then something tragic happened in here life and obvisly I was only wanting the NSA now I'm on kik being kind obvisly and the only person she feels she can talk too.

She is off this site now.

"

We don't know her or her circumstances - or yours. Keep them to yourself.

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London


"say goodbye......"

First time I've agreed with you

You're only chatting, don't owe each other anything. You're being a gent by offering support but by becoming a shoulder to cry on, creating an emotional bond.

I'd step away quietly for now if it's only NSA you want.

Stuff like this is why I don't play with cheaters. Don't need the potential drama.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"say goodbye......

First time I've agreed with you

You're only chatting, don't owe each other anything. You're being a gent by offering support but by becoming a shoulder to cry on, creating an emotional bond.

I'd step away quietly for now if it's only NSA you want.

Stuff like this is why I don't play with cheaters. Don't need the potential drama."

I agree with all of this apart from the last bit - as there's nothing in the OP to suggest any of the bad thing that's happened has anything to do with her being married.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"To be honest - if you're a true friend - don't talk about it on here. Tell her how you truly feel.

obviously you've not said how long ago this tragic event was, how dependent on you she is etc and how 'reasonable' the level of support you're providing is.

If it's recent and raw then be there for her. If it's ages ago and you feel trapped and she can't move on then you need to have that honest talk about who else would be appropriate to help.

It's very hard for us to answer as we don't know the full ins and outs of this - be the best friend you can be by either being there for her or directing her to someone more appropriate or qualified to help "
i have literally known her 3 weeks and the incident happened a week ago. She's going through an incident no parent should ever have to go through! Advise wise I have no idea what to say and do.. And I'm a nice guy I wouldnt just delete and ignore. I know you are probably all thinking I'm jack but surely we are all here for fun and an excape from our day to day lives!

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"And?

I went to feed the ducks today "

What did you feed them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To be honest - if you're a true friend - don't talk about it on here. Tell her how you truly feel.

obviously you've not said how long ago this tragic event was, how dependent on you she is etc and how 'reasonable' the level of support you're providing is.

If it's recent and raw then be there for her. If it's ages ago and you feel trapped and she can't move on then you need to have that honest talk about who else would be appropriate to help.

It's very hard for us to answer as we don't know the full ins and outs of this - be the best friend you can be by either being there for her or directing her to someone more appropriate or qualified to help i have literally known her 3 weeks and the incident happened a week ago. She's going through an incident no parent should ever have to go through! Advise wise I have no idea what to say and do.. And I'm a nice guy I wouldnt just delete and ignore. I know you are probably all thinking I'm jack but surely we are all here for fun and an excape from our day to day lives! "

Fun? In what way is that fun?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Started talking to a married lady (husband unaware) on here all was good then something tragic happened in here life and obvisly I was only wanting the NSA now I'm on kik being kind obvisly and the only person she feels she can talk too.

She is off this site now.

"
I think now you've split them up you should date her ,its only fair

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP.

Do what it is you need to do. Be honest with her though, she'll probably appreciate that more than you hating being her prop when you don't want to be one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would walk away if I was you

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Sounds a bit heavy to me but I think it's still ok for her to talk to you and for you to listen. Maybe she hasn't got anyone else and just needs someone to vent to? A friend would do that but ultimately if it makes you uncomfortable you'll have to be honest with her in a nice way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jeez op , you've been chatting for three weeks and she's married . You want NSA , say goodbye .

No brainer .

And before anyone says that's heartless , remember what we all sign up for .

He's not even met her , and tbh he's an unnecessary sideline when she should be concentrating on her family now .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OP.

Do what it is you need to do. Be honest with her though, she'll probably appreciate that more than you hating being her prop when you don't want to be one."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Without trying to come across as inconsiderate, You have known her for 3 weeks, How do you know she is telling you the truth ?

If she is, Just be her friend and answer her questions/ give her advise when you can, But as you don't seem to be wanting anything more, Let her know that as well

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

Op, if there has been a family tragedy and its hard for her to talk to family or friends, or even her husband this is where the focus should be. Its probably too painful at the moment. Hard to talk to the person you love the most because you want to stay strong, neither having dealt with anything like it before. The decent thing would be to point her in the direction of those who love and care for her.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

[Removed by poster at 01/04/16 19:38:06]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Op, if there has been a family tragedy and its hard for her to talk to family or friends, or even her husband this is where the focus should be. Its probably too painful at the moment. Hard to talk to the person you love the most because you want to stay strong, neither having dealt with anything like it before. The decent thing would be to point her in the direction of those who love and care for her."

Exactly , priorities and real life ......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're not in too deep.

It might sound like you're being an arse, but telling her this isn't what you signed up for, apologising and cutting contact isn't a shitty thing to do.

If you feel you can be kind and support her, great, if not - there's no shame in that either.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Cyanide bombs, they certainly quacked after that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Jeez op , you've been chatting for three weeks and she's married . You want NSA , say goodbye .

No brainer .

And before anyone says that's heartless , remember what we all sign up for .

He's not even met her , and tbh he's an unnecessary sideline when she should be concentrating on her family now ."

I agree with this, actually.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"say goodbye......

First time I've agreed with you

."

cool

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You're not in too deep.

It might sound like you're being an arse, but telling her this isn't what you signed up for, apologising and cutting contact isn't a shitty thing to do.

If you feel you can be kind and support her, great, if not - there's no shame in that either."

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

In too deep after a week? You will only get deeper if you continue to communicate. Whatever the issue is, she should not be putting it on a stranger when she will have people closer, be it immediate relations, friends, neighbours, Dr or a professional counsellor.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

Drama is always unfortunately a possible side effect of getting involved with someone that's attached, often when women stray it's because their relationship is lacking emotionally, if you provide her with the emotional support her partner doesn't give her you could be diving head first into hot water. You only wanted NSA so walk away you don't have to be a dick about it by ignoring her til she gets the message you can just be honest and simply say "sorry for your situation but I was only in this for NSA fun hope things work out for you but I don't want any further contact" or words to that effect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't get what being attached has to do with a woman having a tragedy in her life. Maybe I'm dense.

It is possible that the tragedy is related to her marriage, but it isn't necessarily so. 100% single women (and men) can bring drama to NSA as well. Sometimes more than married people...

I think people who are involved in this stuff need to not be so reliant on people they are just screwing. And if they need that reliance, then they should focus on other people willing to offer it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't get what being attached has to do with a woman having a tragedy in her life. Maybe I'm dense.

It is possible that the tragedy is related to her marriage, but it isn't necessarily so. 100% single women (and men) can bring drama to NSA as well. Sometimes more than married people...

I think people who are involved in this stuff need to not be so reliant on people they are just screwing. And if they need that reliance, then they should focus on other people willing to offer it."

Yep, nothing the OP has said suggested anything to do with her marriage, people just like to jump to conclusions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't get what being attached has to do with a woman having a tragedy in her life. Maybe I'm dense.

It is possible that the tragedy is related to her marriage, but it isn't necessarily so. 100% single women (and men) can bring drama to NSA as well. Sometimes more than married people...

I think people who are involved in this stuff need to not be so reliant on people they are just screwing. And if they need that reliance, then they should focus on other people willing to offer it."
yes but we don't actually know what the tragedy is I mean it could be she was at her bakery class making a souffle and as she took it out the oven it collapsed I mean that's tragic right

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

from what you read in these forums, the married ladies playing away seem to have a lot less drama going on than the single ones...

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Damn take the mote from your own eye people - the OP said she went through an incident with a child no parent should have to go through!

OP if you are willing and able, be kind and be a helpful samaritan for her, if you are not - still be kind and tell her you are unable to support her! I really don't get anyone's need to be defensive, why, just because this site involves sex, should people suddenly all turn into hard-hearted monsters?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you are uncomfortable chatting to her then don't. It's kinder to lay out the ground rules and stick to them. I can imagine how she feels perhaps. Sometimes, at the worst times it's easier to offload onto someone who is not too close but has a good listening ear but in the long run...it's not too clever really. But...be kind.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for all the advice it's all taken on board, well less the feeding ducks lol. Just to add it's not the fact she's married that's the problem. Major drama can happen in anyone's life I just was not expecting or wanting to be involved in such a role in someone's life that's why I love nsa no complications well no complications is what I thought!!

Thanks again x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's also important to remember in cases of major tragedy that you can't really help but also that withdrawing your support won't make the situation any worse either. So don't blame yourself.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ps I won't walk away I'll support her, and don't get me wrong, I would be saying run for the hills if I saw this tread and if it was not me involved. but I think because of general humanity and empathy I can't just do one!! Have a good evening people x

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London


"Ps I won't walk away I'll support her, and don't get me wrong, I would be saying run for the hills if I saw this tread and if it was not me involved. but I think because of general humanity and empathy I can't just do one!! Have a good evening people x"

If it really is a family tragedy and one for both parents, then think of both parents. If you want to support her, why not support the whole family. I am sure the last thing on her husband's mind will be where she dug you up, and they will both thank you in years to come when you have helped them through this. Its obvious when there is a crisis people act in crisis mode and by being her primary support even though you have only known her a few weeks, I think this is stooping her turning to those who really know and support her and its not helping in the long run. I think I implied the same in my last post. God forbid something like this happened to us, I would want my partner to be the support, even if it took us time to deal with it, not some stranger.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

maybe referring her to a professional for the additional support required is the right thing to do

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Ps I won't walk away I'll support her, and don't get me wrong, I would be saying run for the hills if I saw this tread and if it was not me involved. but I think because of general humanity and empathy I can't just do one!! Have a good evening people x"

Good for you honey, I think you can always be proud to give of yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ps I won't walk away I'll support her, and don't get me wrong, I would be saying run for the hills if I saw this tread and if it was not me involved. but I think because of general humanity and empathy I can't just do one!! Have a good evening people x

Good for you honey, I think you can always be proud to give of yourself. "

Tell that to her husband , who the op has admitted doesn't know anything about this

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

The bare bones of this if I understand are

A tragedy that must affect both people in a marriage has occurred to a woman who has been chatting to a man from here for three weeks. The woman chooses to turn to the person she has never met for support.

I think the long term well being of everyone concerned should be considered and the woman should be firmly but kindly directed to other sources of support.

I also think that people use tactics like this to scam people but then I'm a very cynical old baggage.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

listen politely - no need to be rude - give advise and support but set your limit - if its not what you want you need to tell her but if you have become friends then treat her as such

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Ps I won't walk away I'll support her, and don't get me wrong, I would be saying run for the hills if I saw this tread and if it was not me involved. but I think because of general humanity and empathy I can't just do one!! Have a good evening people x

Good for you honey, I think you can always be proud to give of yourself.

Tell that to her husband , who the op has admitted doesn't know anything about this "

Well that's a different question.

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By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

The cynic in me wonders if the person the OP is communicating with is legit.

What he has written appears to show he hasn't met this woman yet, and the use of Kik means that phone numbers haven't necessarily been exchanged.

The "tragedy" may well be an excuse not to meet, a Fab version of cat fishing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

loved Sum 41

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By *iBBWLondonWoman
over a year ago

London


"Damn take the mote from your own eye people - the OP said she went through an incident with a child no parent should have to go through!

OP if you are willing and able, be kind and be a helpful samaritan for her, if you are not - still be kind and tell her you are unable to support her! I really don't get anyone's need to be defensive, why, just because this site involves sex, should people suddenly all turn into hard-hearted monsters?"

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