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funniest thing that's ever happened to you

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So after the success of yesterday's 'Funniest thing your child has ever said to you' thread I thought I'd carry the theme on today

I've got a lot but one that stands out is this one

I went out with mate while on leave in my marines days, and while out got chatting to a girl. We exchanged numbers and had a KISS (the kiss emphasised for a good reason) and then went our separate ways.

The following day I had received 38 missed calls 15 texts and several voicemails from this girl. I messaged her and said god your keen to which she replied ' I wanted to make sure you didn't go home with another woman' A KISS REMEMBER..... The calls and text proceeded to carry on at stalker like rates for a couple of weeks.

So one nite while sat in the barracks she rings and I just rolled my eyes and said to my mate it's her... He takes the phone off me and says I'm gonna get rid for you, leaves the room for 10 mins then comes back and says jobs done she will leave you alone. I assumed all sorts of things he could have told her but never what he actually said..

Cue 10 months later again home on leave after a tour of afghan..... And I'm with my mates in Yates's Manchester just about to order a drink when I get a tap on the shoulder, I turn and you've guessed it it's the stalker. She's looking at me white as a sheep and says ' Ryan I thought you had been killed in action?' Like most people I panicked at this point looked at her and did a 'wooooooooooo' ghost sound then legged it from the bar.

For years my nickname was Casper the ghost

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So after the success of yesterday's 'Funniest thing your child has ever said to you' thread I thought I'd carry the theme on today

I've got a lot but one that stands out is this one

I went out with mate while on leave in my marines days, and while out got chatting to a girl. We exchanged numbers and had a KISS (the kiss emphasised for a good reason) and then went our separate ways.

The following day I had received 38 missed calls 15 texts and several voicemails from this girl. I messaged her and said god your keen to which she replied ' I wanted to make sure you didn't go home with another woman' A KISS REMEMBER..... The calls and text proceeded to carry on at stalker like rates for a couple of weeks.

So one nite while sat in the barracks she rings and I just rolled my eyes and said to my mate it's her... He takes the phone off me and says I'm gonna get rid for you, leaves the room for 10 mins then comes back and says jobs done she will leave you alone. I assumed all sorts of things he could have told her but never what he actually said..

Cue 10 months later again home on leave after a tour of afghan..... And I'm with my mates in Yates's Manchester just about to order a drink when I get a tap on the shoulder, I turn and you've guessed it it's the stalker. She's looking at me white as a sheep and says ' Ryan I thought you had been killed in action?' Like most people I panicked at this point looked at her and did a 'wooooooooooo' ghost sound then legged it from the bar.

For years my nickname was Casper the ghost"
thats so funny X

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So after the success of yesterday's 'Funniest thing your child has ever said to you' thread I thought I'd carry the theme on today

I've got a lot but one that stands out is this one

I went out with mate while on leave in my marines days, and while out got chatting to a girl. We exchanged numbers and had a KISS (the kiss emphasised for a good reason) and then went our separate ways.

The following day I had received 38 missed calls 15 texts and several voicemails from this girl. I messaged her and said god your keen to which she replied ' I wanted to make sure you didn't go home with another woman' A KISS REMEMBER..... The calls and text proceeded to carry on at stalker like rates for a couple of weeks.

So one nite while sat in the barracks she rings and I just rolled my eyes and said to my mate it's her... He takes the phone off me and says I'm gonna get rid for you, leaves the room for 10 mins then comes back and says jobs done she will leave you alone. I assumed all sorts of things he could have told her but never what he actually said..

Cue 10 months later again home on leave after a tour of afghan..... And I'm with my mates in Yates's Manchester just about to order a drink when I get a tap on the shoulder, I turn and you've guessed it it's the stalker. She's looking at me white as a sheep and says ' Ryan I thought you had been killed in action?' Like most people I panicked at this point looked at her and did a 'wooooooooooo' ghost sound then legged it from the bar.

For years my nickname was Casper the ghostthats so funny X "

Glad you like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine was my first ever time at a club , vanilla alt milf club . I was very nervous and hated the fact I had to show my naked body of to get in the hot tub , anyway got to the top step hoping no one was watching and then fell in I went under the water was helped up while my arms are flaying around touching other members members !!! Anyway I had a very bruised arse and a very red face xxxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Mine was my first ever time at a club , vanilla alt milf club . I was very nervous and hated the fact I had to show my naked body of to get in the hot tub , anyway got to the top step hoping no one was watching and then fell in I went under the water was helped up while my arms are flaying around touching other members members !!! Anyway I had a very bruised arse and a very red face xxxx "

I assume the bruised arsed was from the fall haha

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular


"Mine was my first ever time at a club , vanilla alt milf club . I was very nervous and hated the fact I had to show my naked body of to get in the hot tub , anyway got to the top step hoping no one was watching and then fell in I went under the water was helped up while my arms are flaying around touching other members members !!! Anyway I had a very bruised arse and a very red face xxxx

I assume the bruised arsed was from the fall haha "
she landed on the plunger nurse

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Mine was my first ever time at a club , vanilla alt milf club . I was very nervous and hated the fact I had to show my naked body of to get in the hot tub , anyway got to the top step hoping no one was watching and then fell in I went under the water was helped up while my arms are flaying around touching other members members !!! Anyway I had a very bruised arse and a very red face xxxx

I assume the bruised arsed was from the fall haha she landed on the plunger nurse "

Hahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So after the success of yesterday's 'Funniest thing your child has ever said to you' thread I thought I'd carry the theme on today

I've got a lot but one that stands out is this one

I went out with mate while on leave in my marines days, and while out got chatting to a girl. We exchanged numbers and had a KISS (the kiss emphasised for a good reason) and then went our separate ways.

The following day I had received 38 missed calls 15 texts and several voicemails from this girl. I messaged her and said god your keen to which she replied ' I wanted to make sure you didn't go home with another woman' A KISS REMEMBER..... The calls and text proceeded to carry on at stalker like rates for a couple of weeks.

So one nite while sat in the barracks she rings and I just rolled my eyes and said to my mate it's her... He takes the phone off me and says I'm gonna get rid for you, leaves the room for 10 mins then comes back and says jobs done she will leave you alone. I assumed all sorts of things he could have told her but never what he actually said..

Cue 10 months later again home on leave after a tour of afghan..... And I'm with my mates in Yates's Manchester just about to order a drink when I get a tap on the shoulder, I turn and you've guessed it it's the stalker. She's looking at me white as a sheep and says ' Ryan I thought you had been killed in action?' Like most people I panicked at this point looked at her and did a 'wooooooooooo' ghost sound then legged it from the bar.

For years my nickname was Casper the ghost"

Well don't stop there ffs... how does the story end?

Also, how hot was she?

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I'm not sure what the funniest thing that ever happened to me (there have been many) but...

When I was 7 I remember laughing so hard at something that I wet myself and the friend I was with laughed so hard she shat herself.

Whatever it was was bloody funny.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So after the success of yesterday's 'Funniest thing your child has ever said to you' thread I thought I'd carry the theme on today

I've got a lot but one that stands out is this one

I went out with mate while on leave in my marines days, and while out got chatting to a girl. We exchanged numbers and had a KISS (the kiss emphasised for a good reason) and then went our separate ways.

The following day I had received 38 missed calls 15 texts and several voicemails from this girl. I messaged her and said god your keen to which she replied ' I wanted to make sure you didn't go home with another woman' A KISS REMEMBER..... The calls and text proceeded to carry on at stalker like rates for a couple of weeks.

So one nite while sat in the barracks she rings and I just rolled my eyes and said to my mate it's her... He takes the phone off me and says I'm gonna get rid for you, leaves the room for 10 mins then comes back and says jobs done she will leave you alone. I assumed all sorts of things he could have told her but never what he actually said..

Cue 10 months later again home on leave after a tour of afghan..... And I'm with my mates in Yates's Manchester just about to order a drink when I get a tap on the shoulder, I turn and you've guessed it it's the stalker. She's looking at me white as a sheep and says ' Ryan I thought you had been killed in action?' Like most people I panicked at this point looked at her and did a 'wooooooooooo' ghost sound then legged it from the bar.

For years my nickname was Casper the ghost"

That's funny. Seriously she probably mourned you and searched for your grave.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You must be an amazing kisser op!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You must be an amazing kisser op!"

Amongst other things haha

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By *riskynriskyCouple
over a year ago

Essex.

Many years ago I went to a small meeting at work. Myself and a colleague plus two people from outside the company.

I was requested to go and get some paperwork. I walked back in and put the paperwork on the desk.

I realised at this point I was going to break wind. I said excuse me for a moment. As I opened the door, I let rip with an almighty fart...

I shot out the door and didn't go back for the rest of the meeting.

According to my colleague, no one said a word. They looked at each other in disbelief for a few seconds and carried on...

Not my finest moment...

Risky...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Many years ago I went to a small meeting at work. Myself and a colleague plus two people from outside the company.

I was requested to go and get some paperwork. I walked back in and put the paperwork on the desk.

I realised at this point I was going to break wind. I said excuse me for a moment. As I opened the door, I let rip with an almighty fart...

I shot out the door and didn't go back for the rest of the meeting.

According to my colleague, no one said a word. They looked at each other in disbelief for a few seconds and carried on...

Not my finest moment...

Risky..."

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By *omersetfun15Couple
over a year ago

bridgwater


"Many years ago I went to a small meeting at work. Myself and a colleague plus two people from outside the company.

I was requested to go and get some paperwork. I walked back in and put the paperwork on the desk.

I realised at this point I was going to break wind. I said excuse me for a moment. As I opened the door, I let rip with an almighty fart...

I shot out the door and didn't go back for the rest of the meeting.

According to my colleague, no one said a word. They looked at each other in disbelief for a few seconds and carried on...

Not my finest moment...

Risky... "

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By *mojeeCouple
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"Mine was my first ever time at a club , vanilla alt milf club . I was very nervous and hated the fact I had to show my naked body of to get in the hot tub , anyway got to the top step hoping no one was watching and then fell in I went under the water was helped up while my arms are flaying around touching other members members !!! Anyway I had a very bruised arse and a very red face xxxx "

It's normally the bottom step people miss and then fall in

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