FabSwingers.com forum: mail replies

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi all,

Ok kinda getting peed off with people who dont reply to mail, they read it but dont reply. I always take time to write a few lines having read the profile first...yes shock horror a guy that reads the profile!...lol

I undestand that some people probably get loads of mail and cant reply to all but come on, most can it only takes a few seconds to reply. Maybe even put in a 'thanks but no thanks' button lazy...sorry 'busy' people can click on to reply if they cant be bothered...sorry i mean dont have time to reply themselves.

As the sender you are left thinking...should i send another mail? should i leave it? etc People say 'dont send one liners' so i put effort into my mail then you get no reply back kinda sucks after a while. Ok rant over

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I make a point not to answer crass one liners, even if the gent is built like a Greek god!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always reply if the mail is polite and respectful. Anything less is not worthy of a response and we prefer to delete.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you've read their profile, and meet their requirements, then i guess your making a fair point.

Its the peeps who just random message when they clearly dont fit any of what uve asked for. The ones that annoy me the most are when they live at the other end of the country to me!!! Pretty obvious we arent going to meet (well in my _iew anyway)

you could always put at the bottom of your message 'please let me know, even if its a no'??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When men put - Have some manners and reply. I don't.

When men put - Don't delete this at least reply to say no. I don't.

When men put anything of that sort I can't be bothered with them.

Why do they think that moaning to the next person they mail about the previous people's behaviour is the right kind of talk to get a meet with ?

I feel deeply for you.

It makes me ashamed the way some people on this site especially the women choose to use the site they way they want to.

I know if I sent mail to someone and they didn't reply that it really means that deep down they want me. Reject me? No course they wouldn't.

I'd spend hours mulling over it and wondering what I could do to change things.

After all. If I put in effort I DESERVE a reward don't I ?

It's all about them. That's the reason I write. It's not about me at all.

They are thoughtless with too much time on their hands.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

another topic done to death , as i have said loads of times , any mail which is unsolicitated does not have to be answered.

People are busy not always lazy, folks have the right to choose which mail they answer and which they dont. Instead of being pissed off about it , move on there is always someone else who may want to reply to your mail, pick yourself up , dust yourself down and start all over again .

Treat a no reply as a not interested , that way you can move on to the next person who may be happy to supply an answer.

Politeness and respect cost nothing but time is valuable and some people dont have the time to send loads of thanks but no thanks messages.

As always , just my opinion.

Happy swinging !!!!!

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By *ornwall-maleMan
over a year ago

newquay

i try not to meaage anyone whos requirements i dont meet unless im just giving them a compliment on profile or asking something about post.

i always read p

ies crefully if i am sending a relevant message.

there are a few i look at a few times and then dont mesage as not in age group or they only want couples so try and respect that.

and always try to put thought and make messages interesting.

and always reply to all messages x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone sends us a polite message bit are not our cup of tea then we will always reply. If it's a one liner then it deleted. We have copied and pasted our own no thanks reply now and it works ok.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

There are no guarantees posted anywhere by the site owners/admin that you will get replies to your messages, it's not a requirement for site members to reply to all messages.....the sooner you get used to these facts the better if you are going to enjoy your membership of the site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To the op never send another message if your message as been deleted then take it's as a no resending the message will just annoy that person. Never send msn or phone numbers either in your message. If someone wants it they will ask for it.

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By *ornwall-maleMan
over a year ago

newquay

"There are no guarantees posted anywhere by the site owners/admin that you will get replies to your messages, it's not a requirement for site members to reply to all messages.....the sooner you get used to these facts the better if you are going to enjoy your membership of the site.

yeah but it cost nothing to politly reply.

but your right not everyone does reply. annoying but true x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When men put - Have some manners and reply. I don't.

When men put - Don't delete this at least reply to say no. I don't.

When men put anything of that sort I can't be bothered with them.

Why do they think that moaning to the next person they mail about the previous people's behaviour is the right kind of talk to get a meet with ?

I feel deeply for you.

It makes me ashamed the way some people on this site especially the women choose to use the site they way they want to.

I know if I sent mail to someone and they didn't reply that it really means that deep down they want me. Reject me? No course they wouldn't.

I'd spend hours mulling over it and wondering what I could do to change things.

After all. If I put in effort I DESERVE a reward don't I ?

It's all about them. That's the reason I write. It's not about me at all.

They are thoughtless with too much time on their hands.

Clearly you've forgotten what we agreed Granny. Now bend over for your punishment

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yes i take all that on-board and i understand i just think if you have clearly read the profile and sent a polite mail then a reply of any sort isnt too much to ask? Thats why i wonder if a 'thanks but no thanks' button might help? As sometimes i think...did they read my mail and have just forgotten to reply?

At least with a 'button' you would have a clear answer and so wouldnt bother them again...simples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes i take all that on-board and i understand i just think if you have clearly read the profile and sent a polite mail then a reply of any sort isnt too much to ask? Thats why i wonder if a 'thanks but no thanks' button might help? As sometimes i think...did they read my mail and have just forgotten to reply?

At least with a 'button' you would have a clear answer and so wouldnt bother them again...simples

Silence is more powerful than words..........

Shhhhhhhhhhhh message the next woman.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When men put - Have some manners and reply. I don't.

When men put - Don't delete this at least reply to say no. I don't.

When men put anything of that sort I can't be bothered with them.

Why do they think that moaning to the next person they mail about the previous people's behaviour is the right kind of talk to get a meet with ?

I feel deeply for you.

It makes me ashamed the way some people on this site especially the women choose to use the site they way they want to.

I know if I sent mail to someone and they didn't reply that it really means that deep down they want me. Reject me? No course they wouldn't.

I'd spend hours mulling over it and wondering what I could do to change things.

After all. If I put in effort I DESERVE a reward don't I ?

It's all about them. That's the reason I write. It's not about me at all.

They are thoughtless with too much time on their hands.

Clearly you've forgotten what we agreed Granny. Now bend over for your punishment

Yeeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaa Don't make me an offer im likely to take up .....

Im honouring your age preferences

I peeked x

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

[Removed by poster at 19/02/11 11:05:47]

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

The problem is that many people (mainly guys in my experience) do not always take notice of my standard 'Thanks but not for me' reply....they then send you other messages asking why?, what is wrong with me?, what don't you like about me? etc. etc.

For example this morning I have had Four messages from guys that live over Three Hundred and Fifty miles away from me.....they have ignored my profile text....why would you suggest I owe them a reply?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd stop worrying about the ones who've not replied and concentrate on finding and communicating with the ones who are potential prospects.

I have to say, I feel posting a forum post like the one above with the stuff about lazy people etc rather shoots you in the foot with anyone who's read this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stop that Jane! put it back.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"Stop that Jane! put it back. "

OK Granny....have put it back....but without the obvious spelling mistake

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mail whats that lol, I always reply to mail even junkmail

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The problem is that many people (mainly guys in my experience) do not always take notice of my standard 'Thanks but not for me' reply....they then send you other messages asking why?, what is wrong with me?, what don't you like about me? etc. etc.

I know what you mean. Once they get the no thanks they think ...I'm in! ask her sommat else.

Ignoring messages is best.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Ive been very bad at responding to mails with a no thanks at the moment

Ive been concentrating on people that I want to meet

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By *ornwall-maleMan
over a year ago

newquay

i know what ya mean and it is mainly men.

and your right some dont always deserve a reply if they are goinh to be an arse about it or dont red your profile.

if i messaged someone and they say in there profile that they dont reply to single men then its my fault for not reading.

men should learn to read lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well in the messages we sent back with thanks but no thanks they message back saying says for letting us know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When men put - Have some manners and reply. I don't.

When men put - Don't delete this at least reply to say no. I don't.

When men put anything of that sort I can't be bothered with them.

Why do they think that moaning to the next person they mail about the previous people's behaviour is the right kind of talk to get a meet with ?

I feel deeply for you.

It makes me ashamed the way some people on this site especially the women choose to use the site they way they want to.

I know if I sent mail to someone and they didn't reply that it really means that deep down they want me. Reject me? No course they wouldn't.

I'd spend hours mulling over it and wondering what I could do to change things.

After all. If I put in effort I DESERVE a reward don't I ?

It's all about them. That's the reason I write. It's not about me at all.

They are thoughtless with too much time on their hands.

Oh Granny...you're losing your caring, nurturing touch. This lacked pathos.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"Well in the messages we sent back with thanks but no thanks they message back saying says for letting us know. "

With all due respect, by your own admittance you are new to the scene and new to the site.....give it time.

I can guarantee that you will further replies that cannot handle a gentle rejection and will want to ask why?.

And some won't leave it at that, before you know it you are exchanging multiple messages....all born from that initial 'Thanks but no thanks' reply you gave.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When men put - Have some manners and reply. I don't.

When men put - Don't delete this at least reply to say no. I don't.

When men put anything of that sort I can't be bothered with them.

Why do they think that moaning to the next person they mail about the previous people's behaviour is the right kind of talk to get a meet with ?

I feel deeply for you.

It makes me ashamed the way some people on this site especially the women choose to use the site they way they want to.

I know if I sent mail to someone and they didn't reply that it really means that deep down they want me. Reject me? No course they wouldn't.

I'd spend hours mulling over it and wondering what I could do to change things.

After all. If I put in effort I DESERVE a reward don't I ?

It's all about them. That's the reason I write. It's not about me at all.

They are thoughtless with too much time on their hands.

Oh Granny...you're losing your caring, nurturing touch. This lacked pathos.

and Aramis, Athos, and D'Artagnon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends for me what's going on elsewhere - if I've got plenty of time I'll reply to the people outside of my location and age preferences.

Many will email back saying thanks for letting me know. Some won't reply which is fine. A good few though, come back with a reason I should meet them anyway which will earn a delete and possibly a block.

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By *ornwall-maleMan
over a year ago

newquay

"Well in the messages we sent back with thanks but no thanks they message back saying says for letting us know.

With all due respect, by your own admittance you are new to the scene and new to the site.....give it time.

I can guarantee that you will further replies that cannot handle a gentle rejection and will want to ask why?.

And some won't leave it at that, before you know it you are exchanging multiple messages....all born from that initial 'Thanks but no thanks' reply you gave."

well surely thats a lesson for us newbies to learn then isnt it?.

people who have been here a while might deal with it that way but not all.

everyone is different.

some will reply some wont.

each to there own i say and good luck to all x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your probably right and after reading the forums and seeing what single females have to put up with on here then I can see your point. To be honest we don't get many messages we usually only speak to those we have spoken to already on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When men put - Have some manners and reply. I don't.

When men put - Don't delete this at least reply to say no. I don't.

When men put anything of that sort I can't be bothered with them.

Why do they think that moaning to the next person they mail about the previous people's behaviour is the right kind of talk to get a meet with ?

I feel deeply for you.

It makes me ashamed the way some people on this site especially the women choose to use the site they way they want to.

I know if I sent mail to someone and they didn't reply that it really means that deep down they want me. Reject me? No course they wouldn't.

I'd spend hours mulling over it and wondering what I could do to change things.

After all. If I put in effort I DESERVE a reward don't I ?

It's all about them. That's the reason I write. It's not about me at all.

They are thoughtless with too much time on their hands.

Oh Granny...you're losing your caring, nurturing touch. This lacked pathos.

and Aramis, Athos, and D'Artagnon

I was going to add that too...like minds!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh Granny...you're losing your caring, nurturing touch. This lacked pathos.

Bloody hell Sassy ! I only have that when necessary .... no sympathies for those with enough time to dwell on strangers that won't speak. Pfffft !

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

I sent a thanks but no thanks message this morning, then promptly received a return reply asking if I could recommend any other females that would "be up for it"

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I believe people should reply to every one received, even those that come back after a polite 'no thanks' asking the sender' why, why '......

Some days I don't eat as am sitting on my pc replying to the volumes I get.

and some I just say a polite.... 'cause yu is ugly, UUGGGLLLLYYYY'

works a treat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got one this morning asking when he 'could see the goods' .....

Im never amazed ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well in the messages we sent back with thanks but no thanks they message back saying says for letting us know.

With all due respect, by your own admittance you are new to the scene and new to the site.....give it time.

I can guarantee that you will further replies that cannot handle a gentle rejection and will want to ask why?.

And some won't leave it at that, before you know it you are exchanging multiple messages....all born from that initial 'Thanks but no thanks' reply you gave.

well surely thats a lesson for us newbies to learn then isnt it?.

people who have been here a while might deal with it that way but not all.

everyone is different.

some will reply some wont.

each to there own i say and good luck to all x"

As Jane said...give it time, you'll change your tune.

I've worded my profile to make it quite clear that I wont respond to anyone outside my chosen criteria, and it certainly will be a waste of time writing.

Exercise in futility really, as still they message. I've already deleted four messages this morning without even opening them. Thirty somethings from outside London...obviously didn't understand the that 30 is lower than 45 and Derby, Glasgow, Luton and Milton Keynes and not London boroughs!

As I said, didn't even bother to open just delete...certainly wouldn't bother sending a "no thanks" as they can't read any way!

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"I believe people should reply to every one received, even those that come back after a polite 'no thanks' asking the sender' why, why '......

Some days I don't eat as am sitting on my pc replying to the volumes I get.

and some I just say a polite.... 'cause yu is ugly, UUGGGLLLLYYYY'

works a treat."

Thanks for that tip View.....taken on board and likely to be used, with your permission of course.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone has messaged me and they clearly haven't read my profile then i don't send a reply, if they have read my profile and don't fit what i'm looking then they get a simple "Not interested" from me. The reason why i'm the way i am with guys that message me that don't fit with what i'm looking for or haven't read my profile is because i'm sick of getting into arguements with guys when i've turned them down. I understand that no one likes rejection but some people need to relise that not your not going to be everyones cup of tea!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I sent a thanks but no thanks message this morning, then promptly received a return reply asking if I could recommend any other females that would "be up for it"

Could you send us 'the list' too please?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"I believe people should reply to every one received, even those that come back after a polite 'no thanks' asking the sender' why, why '......

Some days I don't eat as am sitting on my pc replying to the volumes I get.

and some I just say a polite.... 'cause yu is ugly, UUGGGLLLLYYYY'

works a treat.

Thanks for that tip View.....taken on board and likely to be used, with your permission of course."

granted xx

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

if a persons interested they will replie . mannors have nothing to do with this ,you are not garenteed a replie from everyone YOU choose to message .speaking from a female point of _iew i try and replie to as meny messages as possible but firstly some dont deserve any response .i understand you read profiles and take time to type a polite message but most dont . even those who have read profile may THINK they meet criterior of what im looking for but somethin they say flags up they arent . even if they do meet what im looking for maybe im just not that in to them ! why open a can full of worms by saying thanks but no thanks ?you may think its easy to just send that message but alot of guys dont take that as an answer !! you get the well why not ? and sorry i dont have to justify my personal choice of why i will or wont meet a guy .

the thanks but no thanks button in an ideal world would be great !! however we all know instead of the "why dont they have the mannors to replie to my message" threads will just become "why did they just send an impersonal automated response " ect ect ...still a no win situation ! solves nothing .

as people have said take no response as no interest and move on !!!

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By *ornwall-maleMan
over a year ago

newquay

"I believe people should reply to every one received, even those that come back after a polite 'no thanks' asking the sender' why, why '......

Some days I don't eat as am sitting on my pc replying to the volumes I get.

and some I just say a polite.... 'cause yu is ugly, UUGGGLLLLYYYY'

works a treat.

Thanks for that tip View.....taken on board and likely to be used, with your permission of course.

granted xx"

(holds hand up like at school) please sir, may i have permission too lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mail whats that lol, I always reply to mail even junkmail

'junkmail'? ....s'pose this explains why you always reply to us...

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"I believe people should reply to every one received, even those that come back after a polite 'no thanks' asking the sender' why, why '......

Some days I don't eat as am sitting on my pc replying to the volumes I get.

and some I just say a polite.... 'cause yu is ugly, UUGGGLLLLYYYY'

works a treat.

Thanks for that tip View.....taken on board and likely to be used, with your permission of course.

granted xx

(holds hand up like at school) please sir, may i have permission too lol x"

and again...

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

"I sent a thanks but no thanks message this morning, then promptly received a return reply asking if I could recommend any other females that would "be up for it"

Could you send us 'the list' too please?

no, but I could give you the "fuck off and do your own dirty work" response that they got

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By *ornwall-maleMan
over a year ago

newquay

thanks _iew. . . i mean sir lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When men put - Have some manners and reply. I don't.

When men put - Don't delete this at least reply to say no. I don't.

When men put anything of that sort I can't be bothered with them.

Why do they think that moaning to the next person they mail about the previous people's behaviour is the right kind of talk to get a meet with ?

I feel deeply for you.

It makes me ashamed the way some people on this site especially the women choose to use the site they way they want to.

I know if I sent mail to someone and they didn't reply that it really means that deep down they want me. Reject me? No course they wouldn't.

I'd spend hours mulling over it and wondering what I could do to change things.

After all. If I put in effort I DESERVE a reward don't I ?

It's all about them. That's the reason I write. It's not about me at all.

They are thoughtless with too much time on their hands.

Clearly you've forgotten what we agreed Granny. Now bend over for your punishment

Yeeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaa Don't make me an offer im likely to take up .....

Im honouring your age preferences

I peeked x "

Haha, for you Granny, no preferences apply, you break the mould! (I peeked too!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I sent a thanks but no thanks message this morning, then promptly received a return reply asking if I could recommend any other females that would "be up for it"

Could you send us 'the list' too please?

no, but I could give you the "fuck off and do your own dirty work" response that they got

"
now that's just being mean

I haven't got time to look for females that might 'be up for it'.... I'm too f*ckin' busy replying to males telling them I'm NOT up for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

after reading the OP's post just a few mins after her wrote it we decided to once again start sending the thanks nut no thanks kind of message to all that send us a message

we did always send a reply but stopped as some of the replies that came back were abusive

we in the last hour we have had six messages from guys we have replied to them all and as of now 3 have not been read yet 1 has been read and deleted and have had 2 back just giving us abuse back

have to say one of them did put a smile on our faces as in the original message the guy was going on about how sexy Alice was etc etc and in his message back to us he was just telling us how much a slag Alice is and how she needs to grow tits etc etc

So there you go although never saying that the OP would treat us like that many many do I'm afraid

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"after reading the OP's post just a few mins after her wrote it we decided to once again start sending the thanks nut no thanks kind of message to all that send us a message

we did always send a reply but stopped as some of the replies that came back were abusive

we in the last hour we have had six messages from guys we have replied to them all and as of now 3 have not been read yet 1 has been read and deleted and have had 2 back just giving us abuse back

So there you go although never saying that the OP would treat us like that many many do I'm afraid "

And there my friends is why some peeps dont reply to messages.

nuff said!

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

"I sent a thanks but no thanks message this morning, then promptly received a return reply asking if I could recommend any other females that would "be up for it"

Could you send us 'the list' too please?

no, but I could give you the "fuck off and do your own dirty work" response that they got

now that's just being mean

I haven't got time to look for females that might 'be up for it'.... I'm too f*ckin' busy replying to males telling them I'm NOT up for it

well in that case, and keep ths a secret, the names I gave him were.... Invictus, funky and soapy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I sent a thanks but no thanks message this morning, then promptly received a return reply asking if I could recommend any other females that would "be up for it"

Could you send us 'the list' too please?

no, but I could give you the "fuck off and do your own dirty work" response that they got

now that's just being mean

I haven't got time to look for females that might 'be up for it'.... I'm too f*ckin' busy replying to males telling them I'm NOT up for it

well in that case, and keep ths a secret, the names I gave him were.... Invictus, funky and soapy

Now that is just plain mean!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I sent a thanks but no thanks message this morning, then promptly received a return reply asking if I could recommend any other females that would "be up for it"

Could you send us 'the list' too please?

no, but I could give you the "fuck off and do your own dirty work" response that they got

now that's just being mean

I haven't got time to look for females that might 'be up for it'.... I'm too f*ckin' busy replying to males telling them I'm NOT up for it

well in that case, and keep ths a secret, the names I gave him were.... Invictus, funky and soapy

Now that is just plain mean!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No site rules state you must reply to a message but I personally like to and usually do, although I do have some exceptions. If someone takes the time to send me a nice message, even if they do not fit my preferences, I always reply...if someone sends me a polite one liner, I reply, one word messages ie "Hi" are a bit more difficult to muster up a response to, but still, I try...and like someone else mentioned, I usually get a thanks for your reply message back. However if I get an abusive response to a "No thank you" message I have sent, I delete and block....and I get lots from very young guys (in their 20's) I don't usually reply to them, as my profile states, I am not interested. Guys get a hard enough time on here and it must be so disheartening for them to write a nice, long message and have it deleted with no response...so I understand why one liners are sent. I chat to several guys regularly on here and even though we will never meet as we do not fit each others choices, if I had not replied to them, we would not have the laughs and fun we have.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yikes 54 replies!! i'll never be able to reply to all those

So what have i learnt from all this....er? keep me mouth shut in future i think

thanks to all and please feel free to mail me...of course, i may not reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi all,

i dont answer anyone who hasnt read my profile, one liners or something like "hi"

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