FabSwingers.com forum: What is your reaction?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Single men.. If someone has

'not looking for Single males '

On their profile.. And they message you for a chat in veiw to meet.. What do you think?

Do you think.. Oh they have filters on and doing their own messaging.. Lucky me.

Do you think.. They're not looking for single men, why have they messaged me?

Or do you think something else entirely?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would think they are doing there own messaging, you could probably work it out from reading the full profile and any verifications that the have.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

You think people read profiles?

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

One of my bugbears of the site is that, if you untick the single men option, you get 'not looking for single men' on your profile. I've unticked couples but don't have 'not looking for couples' on my profile.

To answer the question obliquely, it might be worth putting something on the profile to make things clearer.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Oh it's not information for myself to use.... I don't care what people think

.. It's just something someone said on another thread... So curious as to what other men thought

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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago

You Dont Need to Know, right now

Perhaps Fab needs to change the wording of this line. Perhaps it should say "Doesn't want a first approach from single males".

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"One of my bugbears of the site is that, if you untick the single men option, you get 'not looking for single men' on your profile. I've unticked couples but don't have 'not looking for couples' on my profile.

To answer the question obliquely, it might be worth putting something on the profile to make things clearer."

It does make it confusing for men who don't know this happens when you have filters on...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mrs is feeling horny while hubby is at the pub maybe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To answer the question obliquely, it might be worth putting something on the profile to make things clearer."

Plus you can't see any single men who have looked at you but everyone else shows. So,to see which men have looked you have to take your filters off.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would think they are doing there own messaging, you could probably work it out from reading the full profile and any verifications that the have.

.. Well done for reading profiles

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By *iscean MaleMan
over a year ago

Darlaston

I would carry on chatting and see where it leads..

Peoples mood changes etc... so person could be trying somethi g different

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Perhaps Fab needs to change the wording of this line. Perhaps it should say "Doesn't want a first approach from single males"."

It does need to be changed I think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's a man.. not surprised at all.

If it's a couple.. they get enough enquiries so my luck must be in.

If it's a woman.. Easter is truly a time for miracles.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

To answer the question obliquely, it might be worth putting something on the profile to make things clearer.

Plus you can't see any single men who have looked at you but everyone else shows. So,to see which men have looked you have to take your filters off."

Really?.. That's a bit silly isn't it.. I don't look at who looked at me so wouldn't have known that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'It's a trap'

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If it's a man.. not surprised at all.

If it's a couple.. they get enough enquiries so my luck must be in.

If it's a woman.. Easter is truly a time for miracles."

That made me chuckle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i`d think wow.. she must really want me.. go me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Mrs is feeling horny while hubby is at the pub maybe

Would you reply to find out?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"'It's a trap'

Sshhh.. It works for me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would carry on chatting and see where it leads..

Peoples mood changes etc... so person could be trying somethi g different"

Would you read profile though to see if they are actually looking for men.. But just have filters on.. Or would you take it from the.. Looking for.. Section only?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth

I respect what people have preferences on their profile, but if they contact me looking for a meet, then I guess they're looking for a meet

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"i`d think wow.. she must really want me.. go me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mrs is feeling horny while hubby is at the pub maybe

Would you reply to find out? "

No...chances are its really a guy with a couples profile

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I wouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth

I respect what people have preferences on their profile, but if they contact me looking for a meet, then I guess they're looking for a meet

But do you understand that it's not really a preference.? . When you have put your filters on it automatically shows 'not looking for single males'.. It seems a few people misinterprete this

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Mrs is feeling horny while hubby is at the pub maybe

Would you reply to find out?

No...chances are its really a guy with a couples profile

They usually don't have filters on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would start chatting and see how things go. Not to sound soft but it's nice to have a conversation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think...someone in Neverland is taking the piss.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Single men.. If someone has

'not looking for Single males '

On their profile.. And they message you for a chat in veiw to meet.. What do you think?

Do you think.. Oh they have filters on and doing their own messaging.. Lucky me.

Do you think.. They're not looking for single men, why have they messaged me?

Or do you think something else entirely? "

In the unlikely event that it happens, I'll tell you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mrs is feeling horny while hubby is at the pub maybe

Would you reply to find out?

No...chances are its really a guy with a couples profile

They usually don't have filters on

True. But he might want a nice cock picture from me to send to you ladies

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I wouldn't overthink it, I would say hi and answer their question or comment

End of

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By *enard ArgenteMan
over a year ago

London and France

No big deal: I would assume she has filters on to stop being swamped, and is messaging people who are possibly of interest...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No big deal: I would assume she has filters on to stop being swamped, and is messaging people who are possibly of interest..."

^^^^^^^ This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It makes me smile ,all messages do .

I am always polite and ready to make jolly new chums

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think...someone in Neverland is taking the piss."

I really don't care what you think

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Interesting replies.. Thanks.. Good to see most understand why some people's profiles show 'not looking for single males'

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

I'd assume that I'm special, naturally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would think they have filters on and doing their own messaging, Just as a lot of couples do, Most of the couples who have messaged me have they are not looking for single Males on their profile

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would think they have filters on and doing their own messaging, Just as a lot of couples do, Most of the couples who have messaged me have they are not looking for single Males on their profile"

.. This.. And others who have replied similar., is how I thought most who new about filters thought... But apparently some don't...

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By *vgloryholebs16TV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol.

I would probably think either this is a last resort or you had been let down....Ax

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would think they have filters on and doing their own messaging, Just as a lot of couples do, Most of the couples who have messaged me have they are not looking for single Males on their profile

.. This.. And others who have replied similar., is how I thought most who new about filters thought... But apparently some don't... "

No they don't and I saw that thread too, think he must be in a minority from comments made on the forums over the years. Thing is that on one hand he is narrowing his search by eliminating all those with 'not looking for single men' on their profile but on the other hand, he is also missing out on someone who could potentially be a good meet by interpreting the 'not looking for single men' in the way that he has

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My own interpretation was as people have said, its stops them being inundated with messages and means they can search themselves, never thought to think it anything else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would think they have filters on and doing their own messaging, Just as a lot of couples do, Most of the couples who have messaged me have they are not looking for single Males on their profile

.. This.. And others who have replied similar., is how I thought most who new about filters thought... But apparently some don't... "

It's the same with the age limits. Just because I'm over 45 (seems quite a few have that as a limit) I still get emails off them and think we'll obviously they have taste!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/03/16 21:41:06]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Single men.. If someone has

'not looking for Single males '

On their profile.. And they message you for a chat in veiw to meet.. What do you think?

Do you think.. Oh they have filters on and doing their own messaging.. Lucky me.

Do you think.. They're not looking for single men, why have they messaged me?

Or do you think something else entirely? "
I would think "lucky me " and chat away .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would think they have filters on and doing their own messaging, Just as a lot of couples do, Most of the couples who have messaged me have they are not looking for single Males on their profile

.. This.. And others who have replied similar., is how I thought most who new about filters thought... But apparently some don't...

It's the same with the age limits. Just because I'm over 45 (seems quite a few have that as a limit) I still get emails off them and think we'll obviously they have taste!

Yes but that is a preference.. That they have chosen a set age.. When someone puts their filter on to stop single males messaging.. It automatically comes up.. 'not looking for single males'.. When usually they are but prefer to find people they are interested in themselves..

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By *tillup4funMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

"Perhaps Fab needs to change the wording of this line. Perhaps it should say "Doesn't want a first approach from single males"."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My own interpretation was as people have said, its stops them being inundated with messages and means they can search themselves, never thought to think it anything else"

No I never realised some thought any other way... Can understand if they don't know it's because of how the filter works...

I just thought that reply on that thread And another reply .. Was really odd.. Not wrong.. Just odd

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would think they have filters on and doing their own messaging, Just as a lot of couples do, Most of the couples who have messaged me have they are not looking for single Males on their profile

.. This.. And others who have replied similar., is how I thought most who new about filters thought... But apparently some don't...

It's the same with the age limits. Just because I'm over 45 (seems quite a few have that as a limit) I still get emails off them and think we'll obviously they have taste!

Gotcha. Yes in that case it's confusing. May it should be 2 options. Or just explain very clearly in their profile. I do know lots don't read profiles and most in the forums are literate and do but at least it sorts out the wheat from the chaff.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

9 times out of ten i think "yuck! No way!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The other 10% of the time i think "you're to far away".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"9 times out of ten i think "yuck! No way!""

Glad someone said that!

There seems to be a general opinion on fab that every message/offer from a woman- whoever she is - should be accepted with gratitude and snapped up no matter what! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To answer the question obliquely, it might be worth putting something on the profile to make things clearer."

Exactly this...so I don't agree with the poster above you. Sensible men DO read profiles. I have had meets from and with women and couples who have blocked single men...but messaged me first. That filter is so that they can pick and choose.

It is what the filter is designed for.

I do agree it would be equally useful to have "not looking for" as an option for other profiles too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"9 times out of ten i think "yuck! No way!"

Glad someone said that!

There seems to be a general opinion on fab that every message/offer from a woman- whoever she is - should be accepted with gratitude and snapped up no matter what! X"

I don't understand what this has to do with the original post?..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"9 times out of ten i think "yuck! No way!""

Lucky you have a sexy wife then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh they have filters on and doing their own messaging.. Lucky me."

Pretty much.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

To answer the question obliquely, it might be worth putting something on the profile to make things clearer.

It is what the filter is designed for.

I do agree it would be equally useful to have "not looking for" as an option for other profiles too."

I just don't understand why the filters are different.. In that it doesn't just block them from messaging in the same way as blocking anyone else.. Instead of the automatic.. Not looking for single males... I do understand why some get confused or put out if someone with that on their profile messages them.. If they don't know it's how the filters work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh they have filters on and doing their own messaging.. Lucky me.

Pretty much."

It's was the "lucky me" bit i object to.

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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago

You Dont Need to Know, right now

"It's was the "lucky me" bit i object to."

OK, maybe 'lucky' wasn't the right word. But what Gillette means is... if someone mails a single guy (despite having 'not looking for single males' on their own profile) they are recognising that the single guy is in the top 5% or so of single guy's profiles on Fab. It's a COMPLIMENT if someone whose profile says 'not looking for single guys' makes the first approach to a single guy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't say it's ever happened lol but if it did I'd have to assume there was something in my profile that bucked the trend so I guess I'd be in the " lucky me " group. Lol

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Op I thought it was sweet when you msged me if that answers you question.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Single men should stop messaging people and have a wank instead. Rather than continuously inflating egos, that in the main frankly don't deserve it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well if it was a couple, i would think "how did they get through my filter"

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

"You think people read profiles?

They'll have a quick look, especially at the pics bur wont be checking what filters or message preferences someone has! They'll just be keen to jump on the opportunity and message back.

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By *els01Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

I know I have not looking for single guys, buy if any take my fancy, I'll wink at them and leave it up to them to message back. If you wink at someone, they can message and skip the filters. I do it because it reduces the volume of messages I don't want! Xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh they have filters on and doing their own messaging.. Lucky me.

Pretty much.

It's was the "lucky me" bit i object to."

It was kind of tongue in cheek..

I was simply asking how people see the filter... Not if they cum in their pants when the inbox turns yellow

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well if it was a couple, i would think "how did they get through my filter"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whenever I've seen that they normally say something like if they want single males they'll find them, or something along those lines

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Op I thought it was sweet when you msged me if that answers you question. "

It wasn't about me this thread..or chatting in general It was just a general... How do single men see the 'no single male' filter?...

I guess I should of said... If you are attracted to them initially... . And not put the jokey.. Lucky me.. On....

But ahh well.. Most new what I was asking... I do forget how very precise you have to be on here... But even then, some will find fault in nothing particularly offensive

Night

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" It was just a general... How do single men see the 'no single male' filter?...

I just say "Oh well", and move on.

I have had a few winks from NSMs, and PM'd them to say thanks, but never had a reply. I put the wink down to a stubby finger on a smartphone or tablet screen.

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By *hocCock1Man
over a year ago

Southampton

I've had winks from NSM's so I've thanked them and crossed my fingers

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"Op I thought it was sweet when you msged me if that answers you question.

It wasn't about me this thread..or chatting in general It was just a general... How do single men see the 'no single male' filter?...

I guess I should of said... If you are attracted to them initially... . And not put the jokey.. Lucky me.. On....

But ahh well.. Most new what I was asking... I do forget how very precise you have to be on here... But even then, some will find fault in nothing particularly offensive

Night

I never mail in the 1st instance well extremely rarely and then it's normally forum related. I refuse to be anther desperate single male on here as I'm not. I had read your op and my reply to it was as close as i could give so slightly confused about the offence thing but then I've not read the rest of the thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shock at receiving a message

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Op I thought it was sweet when you msged me if that answers you question.

It wasn't about me this thread..or chatting in general It was just a general... How do single men see the 'no single male' filter?...

I guess I should of said... If you are attracted to them initially... . And not put the jokey.. Lucky me.. On....

But ahh well.. Most new what I was asking... I do forget how very precise you have to be on here... But even then, some will find fault in nothing particularly offensive

Night

That was partly a general reply.. To all.

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"Op I thought it was sweet when you msged me if that answers you question.

It wasn't about me this thread..or chatting in general It was just a general... How do single men see the 'no single male' filter?...

I guess I should of said... If you are attracted to them initially... . And not put the jokey.. Lucky me.. On....

But ahh well.. Most new what I was asking... I do forget how very precise you have to be on here... But even then, some will find fault in nothing particularly offensive

Night

That was partly a general reply.. To all. "

Oh right

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Op I thought it was sweet when you msged me if that answers you question.

It wasn't about me this thread..or chatting in general It was just a general... How do single men see the 'no single male' filter?...

I guess I should of said... If you are attracted to them initially... . And not put the jokey.. Lucky me.. On....

But ahh well.. Most new what I was asking... I do forget how very precise you have to be on here... But even then, some will find fault in nothing particularly offensive

Night

That was partly a general reply.. To all. "

I knew exactly what you were getting at. But that would have been boring.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Shock at receiving a message

Yeah, I spent a week in the cardiac ward last time I got one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To answer the question obliquely, it might be worth putting something on the profile to make things clearer."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would think they have filters on and doing their own messaging, Just as a lot of couples do, Most of the couples who have messaged me have they are not looking for single Males on their profile

.. This.. And others who have replied similar., is how I thought most who new about filters thought... But apparently some don't...

It's the same with the age limits. Just because I'm over 45 (seems quite a few have that as a limit) I still get emails off them and think we'll obviously they have taste!

How do you know they usually are looking for single males?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

op, it's never happened to me so i'm not sure what i would think, but worth a thought though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will always read the profile of the messenger and reply to the message, even if it is to say "I'm flattered but you aren't for me. Good luck in your search". With the site being in abundance of males, I've found that the fairer sex do this in order to save on endless messages hitting their inbox.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My own interpretation was as people have said, its stops them being inundated with messages and means they can search themselves, never thought to think it anything else

No I never realised some thought any other way... Can understand if they don't know it's because of how the filter works...

I just thought that reply on that thread And another reply .. Was really odd.. Not wrong.. Just odd "

Me too and I've commented above in your post where you've said the same

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My own interpretation was as people have said, its stops them being inundated with messages and means they can search themselves, never thought to think it anything else

No I never realised some thought any other way... Can understand if they don't know it's because of how the filter works...

I just thought that reply on that thread And another reply .. Was really odd.. Not wrong.. Just odd

Me too and I've commented above in your post where you've said the same"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would think they have filters on and doing their own messaging, Just as a lot of couples do, Most of the couples who have messaged me have they are not looking for single Males on their profile

.. This.. And others who have replied similar., is how I thought most who new about filters thought... But apparently some don't...

It's the same with the age limits. Just because I'm over 45 (seems quite a few have that as a limit) I still get emails off them and think we'll obviously they have taste!

How do you know they usually are looking for single males? "

Because they say in their write up..

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By *adeDragonMan
over a year ago

Guildford

"It's was the "lucky me" bit i object to.

I agree

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