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Call the Police

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By *olgate OP   Man
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, “Wow, that’s got to be the fastest we ever got to the accident site.”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The toilets in my local police station have been stolen, they say they have nothing to go on

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By *olgate OP   Man
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Police raid photolab

Another case of arrested development

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Hee hee!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, “Wow, that’s got to be the fastest we ever got to the accident site.”"

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By *ikki ShooterTV/TS
over a year ago

Epsom

Two police officers with a sniffer dog that has no nose.... how does he smell you ask?

Bloody awful!

Sorry, sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a psychic clairvoyant who has just escaped from prison

A small medium at large x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Big hole found outside of the local cop shop. Police are looking into it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Police arrested two men, one with a battery and one with some fireworks. They've charged one and let the other off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got a chap at the door one night. Who's there I shouted. It's the police. What you wanting. We just want to chat. How many of you are there. There's two of us here. Well fuck off and chat to each other then

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By *enard ArgenteMan
over a year ago

London and France

A policeman was standing at the corner of the street with a big piece of paper and a pencil .

He said " I am trying to trace someone "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two male police officers trying to change a light bulb" fuck its dark in here " and why you got my cock in your mouth ,I thought you said screw it in

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By *olgate OP   Man
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

What did the Rastafarian police man call his police dog? Selassie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What has an Eskimo and a Police man got in common? They both have blue helmet's

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By *olgate OP   Man
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant. "No, no no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant. "No, no no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"

"

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
over a year ago

Sussex

What's the difference between a porcupine and a police van?.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Female police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you.

Me:.........tits

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"What's the difference between a porcupine and a police van?.....

"

I thought the joke was a hedgehog and a Ford Escort.

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

Call the copsssssssss

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By *olgate OP   Man
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular


"What's the difference between a porcupine and a police van?.....

I thought the joke was a hedgehog and a Ford Escort."

Putting your own variation on a topic. What an arresting thought

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"What's the difference between a porcupine and a police van?.....

I thought the joke was a hedgehog and a Ford Escort.

Putting your own variation on a topic. What an arresting thought "

Badum tish.

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By *adyboy-DaddyCouple
over a year ago

Andover

A blonde police woman pulls over a blonde car driver and asks for i.d.

The blonde driver says "what kinda i.d." and the cop tells her anything with a picture will do.

The driver hands over her make up mirror and says "like this?"

The blonde cop looks at the mirror and says "that'll do fine and you can go, I didn't know you were a cop"

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By *olgate OP   Man
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube." The man says, "Sorry officer I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I'll have a really bad asthma attack." "Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample." "I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death." "Well, then we need a urine sample." "I'm sorry officer I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that I'll get really low blood sugar." "Alright then I need you to come out here and walk this white line." "I can't do that, officer." "Why not?" "Because I'm too d*unk to do that."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What did the Rastafarian police man call his police dog? Selassie "

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By *inzi LTV/TS
over a year ago

The Garden of Eden in Beautiful North Wales

You can never find one if you want one and when you do, you wish you hadn't!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I woke up this morning and our lass put her hand under the duvet she said that's big ... I said your pulling my leg .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Call the copsssssssss "

I'm on my way lol. Xx

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By *olgate OP   Man
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

A police recruit was asked during an exam "what would you do if you had to arrest your mother?"

He answered "call for backup"

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
over a year ago

Sussex

'can't remember which constabulary it was, but recently there was job ad. in a newspaper inviting applications to the post of Driver for the Chief Constable. In the small print at the bottom was a note saying that :"Copies of the application forms are available in Braille."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you hear the one about the copper that was so thick his work mates noticed?

*i jest of course, I have nothing but respect for the law*

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