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Most embarrassing ever.....

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By *anky_Panky OP   Woman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

So tell us your most embarrassing experience ever when it comes to sex - whether it was a meet, your partner, recent or years ago....

I have two the first I have already spoken about in here - where the guy was with me and a fem friend, pulled his pants down and he had HUGE skid marks.

The true worst one? I may save that for later as I am a bit too ashamed right now!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a lesson here, always wear brown pants

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By *anky_Panky OP   Woman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville


"There's a lesson here, always wear brown pants "

If I see a guy in brown gruds now then I am outta here! lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So tell us your most embarrassing experience ever when it comes to sex - whether it was a meet, your partner, recent or years ago....

I have two the first I have already spoken about in here - where the guy was with me and a fem friend, pulled his pants down and he had HUGE skid marks.

The true worst one? I may save that for later as I am a bit too ashamed right now!! "

Never wear white boxers, always said it lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So tell us your most embarrassing experience ever when it comes to sex - whether it was a meet, your partner, recent or years ago....

I have two the first I have already spoken about in here - where the guy was with me and a fem friend, pulled his pants down and he had HUGE skid marks.

The true worst one? I may save that for later as I am a bit too ashamed right now!! "

Did you have skid marks?

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By *rs DCouple
over a year ago

far

Go with guys that bath/shower

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By *anaduABCMan
over a year ago

Dublin


"There's a lesson here, always wear brown pants

If I see a guy in brown gruds now then I am outta here! lol "

Is there anything in the world unsexier than skids?!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once had a threesome and nothing would happen, you know NOTHING, all I could do was site and watch, felt a right twat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So tell us your most embarrassing experience ever when it comes to sex - whether it was a meet, your partner, recent or years ago....

I have two the first I have already spoken about in here - where the guy was with me and a fem friend, pulled his pants down and he had HUGE skid marks.

The true worst one? I may save that for later as I am a bit too ashamed right now!! "

By far it was when we met the most gorgeous lap dancer in a swinging club . She did the most erotic dance for Sabrina which went way past what would be acceptable in a lap dance club and we ended up in a private room with her .

As she and Sabrina gave me a long and sensual bj , she put a condom on me and straddled me . Sabrina guided me in and ...... yep ..... Mr Floppy !

This happened 3 times in just under an hour before we gave up . Thank goodness she became a good friend afterwards and we still laugh about it now

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Errmmm...

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

There was that time my mum AND ONE OF HER FRIENDS walked in on me and a woman as we were shagging on the rug.

That was pretty bad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Once had a threesome and nothing would happen, you know NOTHING, all I could do was site and watch, felt a right twat "
I had one like that, the girl wasn't really into it, but her bf really wanted to see her with another guy. After kissing her a bit I just left haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It was a little embarrassing at the time, being a young naive 18 year old, but it was an eye opening experience. I had gone back to her house and as we were getting into it, there was a loud bang on her room door. I looked towards it waiting for another bang, when it didn't arrive, we carried on, only the girl yelped and almost fell off the bed. I'd thrust myself into her bum, without realising, in my d*unken horny state, causing her to cry. I felt really bad, was rather embarrassed that I never looked and could only apologise. Safe to say, after the initial incident, we later came to try anal. Unfortunately, I no longer speak to the individual but what a great women she was.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I had sex 20 years ago at a party... bumped into someone I hadn't seen since school in a local pub last Xmas.

First thing he says to me?

"You're that guy who fucked that girl under the kitchen table at Chris's party."

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I know a chap in Andover I knock off occasionally. 27, blonde, tats. Very obliging.

First time I met him, went back to his and as we entered the flat he says, "I live with my mum, just so you know."

I'm like, ok, I don't mind. You have to live with her.

So we're getting down to business, in fact we're making sooo much noise that we move the mattress on to the floor. I've got him pinned on his back, fucking him...

...and the doorbell goes.

It's some utilities man, gas or electrics or something. Anyway, he needs an access code for the meter that my fuck has.

So his mum is calling through the bedroom door for this code while I'm screwing him, laughing in his face, while he's hissing, "Shut the fuck up!!!"

We finished, I left, sweating like a whore in church.

A little later I get a txt from him saying his mum had complained about 'all the banging'.

I told him to say it was the man who came to sort out his pipes

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By *anky_Panky OP   Woman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

Ok I'll spill, although I assure you all I have never had skid marks and the guy concerned smelt wonderful - looked fresh and clean but.....!

Ok so me..... I was young, pissed outta my face and at the end of my period. So at the end of it that it had stopped.

I pulled in the pub - someone I knew and occasionally fucked. He was also pretty slaughtered.

We went back to his parents and were getting down to business in the living room - it felt 'odd' as he started to fuck me, something wasn't right - he felt it too, so decided to get me a little wetter by going down on me.

Thats when he reappeared with a tampon in his mouth!!

To be fair he spat it on the sofa, carried on and we banged til his mother woke up! I cleared out quick and he crashed on the sofa and woke with aforementioned tampon in his hair (he had VERY long blonde hair) and after he told me all that, I hid from him for a very long time!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok I'll spill, although I assure you all I have never had skid marks and the guy concerned smelt wonderful - looked fresh and clean but.....!

Ok so me..... I was young, pissed outta my face and at the end of my period. So at the end of it that it had stopped.

I pulled in the pub - someone I knew and occasionally fucked. He was also pretty slaughtered.

We went back to his parents and were getting down to business in the living room - it felt 'odd' as he started to fuck me, something wasn't right - he felt it too, so decided to get me a little wetter by going down on me.

Thats when he reappeared with a tampon in his mouth!!

To be fair he spat it on the sofa, carried on and we banged til his mother woke up! I cleared out quick and he crashed on the sofa and woke with aforementioned tampon in his hair (he had VERY long blonde hair) and after he told me all that, I hid from him for a very long time!! "

Hanky panky just spat my coffee out reading that girl. Well done you for sharing . Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok I'll spill, although I assure you all I have never had skid marks and the guy concerned smelt wonderful - looked fresh and clean but.....!

Ok so me..... I was young, pissed outta my face and at the end of my period. So at the end of it that it had stopped.

I pulled in the pub - someone I knew and occasionally fucked. He was also pretty slaughtered.

We went back to his parents and were getting down to business in the living room - it felt 'odd' as he started to fuck me, something wasn't right - he felt it too, so decided to get me a little wetter by going down on me.

Thats when he reappeared with a tampon in his mouth!!

To be fair he spat it on the sofa, carried on and we banged til his mother woke up! I cleared out quick and he crashed on the sofa and woke with aforementioned tampon in his hair (he had VERY long blonde hair) and after he told me all that, I hid from him for a very long time!! "

You win

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok I'll spill, although I assure you all I have never had skid marks and the guy concerned smelt wonderful - looked fresh and clean but.....!

Ok so me..... I was young, pissed outta my face and at the end of my period. So at the end of it that it had stopped.

I pulled in the pub - someone I knew and occasionally fucked. He was also pretty slaughtered.

We went back to his parents and were getting down to business in the living room - it felt 'odd' as he started to fuck me, something wasn't right - he felt it too, so decided to get me a little wetter by going down on me.

Thats when he reappeared with a tampon in his mouth!!

To be fair he spat it on the sofa, carried on and we banged til his mother woke up! I cleared out quick and he crashed on the sofa and woke with aforementioned tampon in his hair (he had VERY long blonde hair) and after he told me all that, I hid from him for a very long time!! "
I heard a worse story than that in school. Don't know if it's true though lol. Some guy said he was going down on his gf when it was her time of the month, and he got it all in his mouth, but her mum walked in so he had to swallow it lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When i got dressed up to ask the bf for well you know.

I opened my mac and guess what...he glanced and carried on watching tv. Mortified

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a meet a few months back , went up to the bedroom started to have sexual relations & was on top holding the head board of the bed ,

Next minute we are both on the floor stunned !!

I had broken the bloody bed !!!

Was so embarrassed !! He was cool about it & fixed it the next morning

Was the most uncomfortable nights sleep ever though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok I'll spill, although I assure you all I have never had skid marks and the guy concerned smelt wonderful - looked fresh and clean but.....!

Ok so me..... I was young, pissed outta my face and at the end of my period. So at the end of it that it had stopped.

I pulled in the pub - someone I knew and occasionally fucked. He was also pretty slaughtered.

We went back to his parents and were getting down to business in the living room - it felt 'odd' as he started to fuck me, something wasn't right - he felt it too, so decided to get me a little wetter by going down on me.

Thats when he reappeared with a tampon in his mouth!!

To be fair he spat it on the sofa, carried on and we banged til his mother woke up! I cleared out quick and he crashed on the sofa and woke with aforementioned tampon in his hair (he had VERY long blonde hair) and after he told me all that, I hid from him for a very long time!!

You win "

I take my hat off to you for sharing and I shall clean up the tea I just sprayed on my kitchen table lol x

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By *anky_Panky OP   Woman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville


"When i got dressed up to ask the bf for well you know.

I opened my mac and guess what...he glanced and carried on watching tv. Mortified "

I get that off the husband (its kinda why I am on here!)

Huggles lovely xx

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By *anky_Panky OP   Woman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

And I did tell you all my story was awful...... I was plastered but I am still rather ashamed twenty years on!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Popped on mans head who was giving me a licky pussy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh my days... all involving the same ex.

I had just started the mini pill, and when you first start it, it can make periods go a bit mental. Anyway, I'd been spotting blood that day so I popped my mooncup in, just in case, and completely forgot about it. So he's got me laid back in his bed, licking me a little bit, and he puts his fingers in... "What the fuck is that?" and then I remembered about the mooncup!

The first time I managed to deep throat, I went back down to try it again and promptly threw up in my mouth. Another time, I threw up in my mouth AGAIN just as he came, and I ran into the bathroom as he just laid there worrying that he did something wrong.

And ANOTHER time... I was extremely tipsy, and just as he was about to enter me, I threw up in mouth, and I had to run to the bathroom, stark naked, holding my hand to my mouth to stop the sick from dripping on the carpet, then as I projectile vomited into the toilet, he ran after me cleaning the bathroom floor up after me, then he had to put me in the shower, wash me, dry me & dress me. And for some reason he still fancied me after that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the worst for me was you young 18 year old who farted mid orgasm from the oral I was giving. Fucking stunk

Another was going down on a lady from a couple who came on during the said oral I looked like the fucking joker!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't think of any to be honest, I did sleep in the same bed with a Woman but didn't have sex, In the morning her daughter came home and shouted Mum and came into the room just giving me enough time to hide under the covers, Her Mum didn't want her to know I was there, We waited for a bit then I tried to sneak out the house only to bump into her at the bottom of the stairs, Embarrassing for her Mum not me though,

Or the time I was to d*unk to have sex, She give me a bj and a tugged pulled and stretched it with no joy, Still couldn't get a hard on until the morning

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok I'll spill, although I assure you all I have never had skid marks and the guy concerned smelt wonderful - looked fresh and clean but.....!

Ok so me..... I was young, pissed outta my face and at the end of my period. So at the end of it that it had stopped.

I pulled in the pub - someone I knew and occasionally fucked. He was also pretty slaughtered.

We went back to his parents and were getting down to business in the living room - it felt 'odd' as he started to fuck me, something wasn't right - he felt it too, so decided to get me a little wetter by going down on me.

Thats when he reappeared with a tampon in his mouth!!

To be fair he spat it on the sofa, carried on and we banged til his mother woke up! I cleared out quick and he crashed on the sofa and woke with aforementioned tampon in his hair (he had VERY long blonde hair) and after he told me all that, I hid from him for a very long time!! "

I think the skid marks were worse..

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By *anky_Panky OP   Woman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville


"Ok I'll spill, although I assure you all I have never had skid marks and the guy concerned smelt wonderful - looked fresh and clean but.....!

Ok so me..... I was young, pissed outta my face and at the end of my period. So at the end of it that it had stopped.

I pulled in the pub - someone I knew and occasionally fucked. He was also pretty slaughtered.

We went back to his parents and were getting down to business in the living room - it felt 'odd' as he started to fuck me, something wasn't right - he felt it too, so decided to get me a little wetter by going down on me.

Thats when he reappeared with a tampon in his mouth!!

To be fair he spat it on the sofa, carried on and we banged til his mother woke up! I cleared out quick and he crashed on the sofa and woke with aforementioned tampon in his hair (he had VERY long blonde hair) and after he told me all that, I hid from him for a very long time!!

I think the skid marks were worse.."

For him - definitely!! Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So tell us your most embarrassing experience ever when it comes to sex - whether it was a meet, your partner, recent or years ago....

I have two the first I have already spoken about in here - where the guy was with me and a fem friend, pulled his pants down and he had HUGE skid marks.

The true worst one? I may save that for later as I am a bit too ashamed right now!! "

skid marks lmfao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It was with my ex hubby we had being dating for awhile

and as i was feeling so horny i thought right il let him cum in my mouth

got down to it and when his cum hit my mouth i threw up all over his cock

to say that i was mortified is an understatement

I hid from him for weeks

tho we both laughed about it months later

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Falling asleep whilst getting a bj

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Falling asleep whilst getting a bj "

Was that before or after you'd cum?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Falling asleep whilst getting a bj

Was that before or after you'd cum? "
oh well before.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I accidently sent the naughty pic to my Dad of me sucking a lollypop, dildo wedged in me and fingers spreading my ass..

He handled it well though and just text back "your just like your mother"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With an ex fwb. He is vwe.. Doggy, really going for it, he 'slipped' (I still don't believe him).. Full thrust into my little tight anal passage.. I Shot up, stood up, got off the bed.. And passed out..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"With an ex fwb. He is vwe.. Doggy, really going for it, he 'slipped' (I still don't believe him).. Full thrust into my little tight anal passage.. I Shot up, stood up, got off the bed.. And passed out.. "

Even if he was small/average, That must of hurt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"With an ex fwb. He is vwe.. Doggy, really going for it, he 'slipped' (I still don't believe him).. Full thrust into my little tight anal passage.. I Shot up, stood up, got off the bed.. And passed out..

Even if he was small/average, That must of hurt "

..

It would of most definitely still hurt no matter the size.. Still makes me 'clench' now thinking about it..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was 20 at the time and it was my mates 18th and midday and I pulled a lovely older Irish lady (46) we went back to hers around 4pm and while we were fucking on the sofa (her legs over my shoulder and her back on the Base of the bed) her 14yo daughter and both grandparents walked in :0, we hadn't heard the front door open and they weren't supposed to be back until about 19.30...I was mortified literally dove over the sofa, straggling to reach my clothes......I left pretty sharpish....funny thing tho the grandad was furious, lots of shouting but the grandma was quite and I saw a cheeky smile as I was apologising walking to the door lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was 20 at the time and it was my mates 18th and midday and I pulled a lovely older Irish lady (46) we went back to hers around 4pm and while we were fucking on the sofa (her legs over my shoulder and her back on the Base of the bed) her 14yo daughter and both grandparents walked in :0, we hadn't heard the front door open and they weren't supposed to be back until about 19.30...I was mortified literally dove over the sofa, straggling to reach my clothes......I left pretty sharpish....funny thing tho the grandad was furious, lots of shouting but the grandma was quite and I saw a cheeky smile as I was apologising walking to the door lol "

Sofa not bed!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Took a girl out for a few drinks then she lead me to a park where she wanted me to fuck her. It was January and I gave her my hoody to wear, I was just in a T-shirt. It was absolutely baltic and she was rubbing up against my crotch but because it was so bloody cold the fella was all shriveled up and tiny. I was far too embarrassed to get it out so nothing happened. After that she basically lost all interest in me and tried hooking me up with one of her mates instead

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By *cottishsexgoddessWoman
over a year ago

Glenrothes


"When i got dressed up to ask the bf for well you know.

I opened my mac and guess what...he glanced and carried on watching tv. Mortified "

I had that happen with my ex. One of the reasons he became my ex tbh lol.

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By *rowninhertsMan
over a year ago

St Albans

Ohh well good old Uni days...

It was a Friday night at the campus club... I met the Irish girl who stayed at the other end of the dorm on our 1st year. ( we were in the 2nd year when this happened).

We were both a bit d*unk so instead of heading home we walked to the library... It was open 24/7...

We kissed before so once in the library we went into a silent study cubical, closed the door and got into it. She was sitting on the table with legs open and me having a great time...

We kept it quiet but suddenly the door opened! We froze for a second then when I turned around it was a Chinese boy. He was red as a pepper. We were really embarrassed but glad it wasn't a security guard! He closed the door we got dressed and walked to her place....

Still makes me chuckle thinking about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OK there was one unfortunate incident in my youth that still causes me embarrassment when I think about it.

My then girlfriend and I had been to a party at one of her friends and stayed over. She was very keen on oral and even though we were sleeping on the floor of the lounge we went for it.

The next morning her friend brought us a cup of tea while my girlfiend was showering and I happily chatted. When I went to the bathroom I was horrified to see my lips were scarlet. My girlfiend was on the end of her period!

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

I have two experiences unfortunately both with the same girl

1) we were at a friends house me and the said girl I had wanted to play for a while. The couple that was house it was served strawberrys and cream on this girl and I was asked to lick it off her. Now I don't do fruit of cream and I refused to touch it or her . She was furious with me.

2) about a year later we where in chams and she was bent over pussy wide open giving a guy a bj. I was watching her. She turned around and said mike you have wanted to fuck me for ages come on then. It was a shame that the little man decided that it didn't want to get hard. Couldn't get hard to fuck her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A good few years ago now I was staying at my mums house as she was living at her boyfriends at the time.

Pulled into the driveway with a lass I was shagging at the time who was shall we say....slightly inebriated!

My mum was just leaving having picked up her mail as we got out my car,"Oh hiya,how are you? It's lovely to meet you,etc etc" the lass I was with said to my mum.

Anyway my mums parting words were...."Yes,it's nice to meet you too.....don't sleep with my son!!!

I still fucked her though

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By *essiCouple
over a year ago

suffolk

What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom.......roast potatoes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok I'll spill, although I assure you all I have never had skid marks and the guy concerned smelt wonderful - looked fresh and clean but.....!

Ok so me..... I was young, pissed outta my face and at the end of my period. So at the end of it that it had stopped.

I pulled in the pub - someone I knew and occasionally fucked. He was also pretty slaughtered.

We went back to his parents and were getting down to business in the living room - it felt 'odd' as he started to fuck me, something wasn't right - he felt it too, so decided to get me a little wetter by going down on me.

Thats when he reappeared with a tampon in his mouth!!

To be fair he spat it on the sofa, carried on and we banged til his mother woke up! I cleared out quick and he crashed on the sofa and woke with aforementioned tampon in his hair (he had VERY long blonde hair) and after he told me all that, I hid from him for a very long time!! "

this made me make a funny noise- you know the one where you want to laugh but the kid will want to know what at so you turn it into a cough ...and fail

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville


"I accidently sent the naughty pic to my Dad of me sucking a lollypop, dildo wedged in me and fingers spreading my ass..

He handled it well though and just text back "your just like your mother" "

OMG!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

These are great..had me in stitches!

Mines a bit boring but was mortifying to me at the time..had met a really hot guy and had a great time in the bedroom...I managed to make it to the bathroom before the air previously pumped in began to come out!! But God there was loads of it and it was echoing off the tiles..I was so so embarrassed it took me a good ten minutes to get the guts to back in the bedroom..I thought he'd make a joke about it and we'd laugh..but he didn't say a word which was even worse!

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Was caught by a bunch of cyclists in the woods while my fb was shagging me from behind. Because they were cycling from behind us, they had a great view before we even knew they were there!

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend


"Ok I'll spill, although I assure you all I have never had skid marks and the guy concerned smelt wonderful - looked fresh and clean but.....!

Ok so me..... I was young, pissed outta my face and at the end of my period. So at the end of it that it had stopped.

I pulled in the pub - someone I knew and occasionally fucked. He was also pretty slaughtered.

We went back to his parents and were getting down to business in the living room - it felt 'odd' as he started to fuck me, something wasn't right - he felt it too, so decided to get me a little wetter by going down on me.

Thats when he reappeared with a tampon in his mouth!!

To be fair he spat it on the sofa, carried on and we banged til his mother woke up! I cleared out quick and he crashed on the sofa and woke with aforementioned tampon in his hair (he had VERY long blonde hair) and after he told me all that, I hid from him for a very long time!! "
if you're going to San Francisco be sure to wear a tampon in your hair

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I fell in love with a girl I worked with (I've never loved anyone else and find that having no feelings for them allows me to perform well sexually) and I just couldn't fuck her properly. I think it was because I cared about her so much, I wanted to "make love" as opposed to "fuck" and I had no experience in doing that and it just always went badly.

Anyway, that was three years ago and it still haunts me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Waking up with my gorgeous black boyfriend for the first time. Going to the hotel loo and farting a humongous amount of air that he'd pumped deep inside me with his massive penis.

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By *anky_Panky OP   Woman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

Loving this thread - even if some of it is at my expense!!! Lmfao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gagging & then throwing up all over a guys cock was a rather awkward moment.

In my defence tho, I did tell him not too keep holding my head down

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials


"Falling asleep whilst getting a bj "

Falling asleep whilst giving a bj

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I had a meet a few months back , went up to the bedroom started to have sexual relations & was on top holding the head board of the bed ,

Next minute we are both on the floor stunned !!

I had broken the bloody bed !!!

Was so embarrassed !! He was cool about it & fixed it the next morning

Was the most uncomfortable nights sleep ever though "

Haha glad this hasn't just happened to me!! My old bed just gave way, she was riding me silly and one whole side just collapsed and we both slid off to the left. We just laughed it off and carried on on top of the duvet on the floor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got caught having a wank years ago I nearly died all I heard was fares please lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Picking up a guy d*unk from the pub and going home for sex. Bouncing up and down on him cowgirl style and suddenly the motion got too much and I threw up on him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once fell asleep as a guy was licking me out, although to be fair he got me d*unk beforehand

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By *-elleWoman
over a year ago

Romford


"Ok I'll spill, although I assure you all I have never had skid marks and the guy concerned smelt wonderful - looked fresh and clean but.....!

Ok so me..... I was young, pissed outta my face and at the end of my period. So at the end of it that it had stopped.

I pulled in the pub - someone I knew and occasionally fucked. He was also pretty slaughtered.

We went back to his parents and were getting down to business in the living room - it felt 'odd' as he started to fuck me, something wasn't right - he felt it too, so decided to get me a little wetter by going down on me.

Thats when he reappeared with a tampon in his mouth!!

To be fair he spat it on the sofa, carried on and we banged til his mother woke up! I cleared out quick and he crashed on the sofa and woke with aforementioned tampon in his hair (he had VERY long blonde hair) and after he told me all that, I hid from him for a very long time!! I heard a worse story than that in school. Don't know if it's true though lol. Some guy said he was going down on his gf when it was her time of the month, and he got it all in his mouth, but her mum walked in so he had to swallow it lol"
was your mate jay from the inbetweeners per chance?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once fell off the bed whilst changing position kicking him where it hurts and breaking my wrist.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Falling asleep whilst getting a bj

Falling asleep whilst giving a bj "
Haha . I don't feel so bad now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's nothing worse than getting cramp

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By *umpleteazerWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire


"When i got dressed up to ask the bf for well you know.

I opened my mac and guess what...he glanced and carried on watching tv. Mortified

I get that off the husband (its kinda why I am on here!)

Huggles lovely xx"

I had this on honeymoon! Ended up getting shit faced on vodka and spending two hours locked in the bathroom sobbing all while dressed as a french maid. All to be repeated the next day and the next lol

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By *umpleteazerWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

Kicked a guy so hard in the nads while changing position he couldn't get it up for the rest of the night.

Guy tried to force my head down to deep throat - ended up having to wash the vom off his stomach.

Hip comes out of joint regularly. Can be embarrassing asking for help getting the bugger back in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know a chap in Andover I knock off occasionally. 27, blonde, tats. Very obliging.

First time I met him, went back to his and as we entered the flat he says, "I live with my mum, just so you know."

I'm like, ok, I don't mind. You have to live with her.

So we're getting down to business, in fact we're making sooo much noise that we move the mattress on to the floor. I've got him pinned on his back, fucking him...

...and the doorbell goes.

It's some utilities man, gas or electrics or something. Anyway, he needs an access code for the meter that my fuck has.

So his mum is calling through the bedroom door for this code while I'm screwing him, laughing in his face, while he's hissing, "Shut the fuck up!!!"

We finished, I left, sweating like a whore in church.

A little later I get a txt from him saying his mum had complained about 'all the banging'.

I told him to say it was the man who came to sort out his pipes "
You've got a real writing talent there!

But maybe you already knew.

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By *anky_Panky OP   Woman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville


"Ok I'll spill, although I assure you all I have never had skid marks and the guy concerned smelt wonderful - looked fresh and clean but.....!

Ok so me..... I was young, pissed outta my face and at the end of my period. So at the end of it that it had stopped.

I pulled in the pub - someone I knew and occasionally fucked. He was also pretty slaughtered.

We went back to his parents and were getting down to business in the living room - it felt 'odd' as he started to fuck me, something wasn't right - he felt it too, so decided to get me a little wetter by going down on me.

Thats when he reappeared with a tampon in his mouth!!

To be fair he spat it on the sofa, carried on and we banged til his mother woke up! I cleared out quick and he crashed on the sofa and woke with aforementioned tampon in his hair (he had VERY long blonde hair) and after he told me all that, I hid from him for a very long time!! I heard a worse story than that in school. Don't know if it's true though lol. Some guy said he was going down on his gf when it was her time of the month, and he got it all in his mouth, but her mum walked in so he had to swallow it lol was your mate jay from the inbetweeners per chance?"

Not unless he masquerades as an Andre Agassi from the 90's era look-alike called Simon?! Lol

Surely they didn't do an episode along those lines?! It's not a program I ever got into!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Getting down to business in a girls pants. Thinking I was a pro with my tongue, only for my step dad to walk in check my girl out then give me tips on how to tongue fuck better. Can't look him in the eye now especially since I married her!

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