FabSwingers.com forum: worst joke you ever heard

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Whats the worst joke you ever heard more stupid the better Here's a starter

I used to be a werewolf but i'm all right Nowoooooooooh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to be a chicken but I'm buk buk buk back to normal now

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I got a leaflet through the letterbox the other day, it said "Are you an alcoholic with a drink problem? If so, ring this number xxxxx xxxxxx"

I rang, it was the local off licence

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Why did the pervert cross the road?

His cock was stuck in the chicken

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why did the pervert cross the road?

His cock was stuck in the chicken"

Hahahaha i must like bad jokes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im so bad at jokes i can neer remember them

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By *iscean MaleMan
over a year ago

Darlaston

A man walks into a bar.. and says ouch

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A man walks into a bar.. and says ouch"
that was bad keep em coming

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the world's best contraceptive?????

A wedding ring..

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By *0tt0nSu3Woman
over a year ago

London

There were two parrots on a fish.

One parrot says to the other parrot, "Can you smell perch?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a woman with a big,useless prick???

Mrs Dave

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't think of any really bad jokes off hand, but if you like deliberately bad and antagonistic comedy, check out the stand-up Ted Chippington.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How many elephants can you fit in a mini?

4! 2 in the front 2 in the back.

How many giraffes can you fit in a mini?

None because the elephants are still in there!

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By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough

Two fish in a tank.... one says, "you drive it, I'll man the turret"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Man goes to the Doctors and asks:

" Can you suggest something for wind?"

Doctor says "A kite?"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot!"

Oh my their getting worse Love it??

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"How many elephants can you fit in a mini?

4! 2 in the front 2 in the back.

How many giraffes can you fit in a mini?

None because the elephants are still in there!"

How do you get 2 whales in a mini?

Over the Severn Bridge.

*It does work better when you say it

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By *obwithkiltMan
over a year ago

Belton

What's white and lies in the gutter?

A dead fridge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Went to my local supermarket the other day and said"excuse me this vinegar has got lumps in it" he said "sir those are pickled onions"

I'll get my coat

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"What's white and lies in the gutter?

A dead fridge

Hahaha!

What's black and white and sits on a wall?

Humpty baseball boot!

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By *appyguy17Man
over a year ago

walthamstow

Knock knock..

Who's there ?

Interupting cow !!

Interup................

Mo..oooooooooooooooooooo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What would you rather be? ..... or a wasp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Knock knock..

Who's there ?

Interupting cow !!

Interup................

Mo..oooooooooooooooooooo

That really is a bad......

Mooooooooooooooo!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a teacher with no arms, no legs, and no body? The Head.

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By *id unviciousMan
over a year ago

Ipswich

My son asked me to do his homework for him 'you know that'll be wrong' i told him.

His reply 'that doesn't matter, just try your best'

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By *obwithkiltMan
over a year ago

Belton

"What's white and lies in the gutter?

A dead fridge

Hahaha!

What's black and white and sits on a wall?

Humpty baseball boot!

What do you give a chicken with a machine gun?

Anything he wants he's just shot a fridge

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By *id unviciousMan
over a year ago

Ipswich

Just took some delivery of some 007 viagra.

Instructions on packet said These won't turn you into James bond but they will make you Roger Moore

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My son asked me to do his homework for him 'you know that'll be wrong' i told him.

His reply 'that doesn't matter, just try your best'

i actually like that one lol

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By *.nottsbloke..Man
over a year ago

the vale

Got told to stop doing my flamingo impression but I'm putting my foot down

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Got told to stop doing my flamingo impression but I'm putting my foot down "

That was defo worthy of a groannnn haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What happened to the Irish tap dancer?? He went down the plug hole

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

"What do you call a teacher with no arms, no legs, and no body? The Head."

This is my favourite so far...

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

Why are elephants so big and wrinkly ?

You ever tried ironing one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did Adele cross the road?

To say # Hello from the other side #

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are two types of people in the word.

Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

Why did the elephant paint her toenails red ?

So she could hide in a cherry Tree!

Ever seen an elephant in a cherry Tree?

No.....Bloody good camouflage isn't it !

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I have jokes but they're too offensive to repeat

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

Why are elephants so big and wrinkly ?

Cos if they were small round and white they would be an aspirin.

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

Why can't go get painkillers in the jungle ?

Cos the parrots eat em all

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

How do you know when an elephants been in your fridge ?

Check for large footprints in the butter

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

"I have jokes but they're too offensive to repeat

PM them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2 lepers playing poker, one threw his hand in and the other one laughed his head off

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

"Why did the elephant paint her toenails red ?

So she could hide in a cherry Tree!

Ever seen an elephant in a cherry Tree?

No.....Bloody good camouflage isn't it !"

What's the loudest noise in the jungle?

A Giraffe eating cherries

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did the snowman say to the carrot ? Get out my face .

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

What has grandad got thats pink and wrinkley ...........

Grandma ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Going to the dentist today at 2.30

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

"Going to the dentist today at 2.30"
chinese Dentist?

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"I have jokes but they're too offensive to repeat

PM them"

I retold one that was told to me - and the circumstances surrounding it because it was wild - and was roundly denounced for making light of child abuse.

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

"I have jokes but they're too offensive to repeat

PM them

I retold one that was told to me - and the circumstances surrounding it because it was wild - and was roundly denounced for making light of child abuse.

:/"
is that a no?

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"I have jokes but they're too offensive to repeat

PM them

I retold one that was told to me - and the circumstances surrounding it because it was wild - and was roundly denounced for making light of child abuse.

:/is that a no?"

I have other, differently, offensive jokes

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Did you hear the one about the Jews, the Nazis and the Second World War...?

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Did you hear the one about the Jews, the Nazis and the Second World War...?"

Well, it wasn't very funny...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?

Full up?

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By *id unviciousMan
over a year ago

Ipswich

Can a chicken jump higher than a skyscraper?

Of course they can skyscrapers can't jump

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By *id unviciousMan
over a year ago

Ipswich

How did Darthvader know what Luke was getting for his birthday?

He felt his presents

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By *id unviciousMan
over a year ago

Ipswich

Man: I have a dog with no nose.

Woman: how does he smell.

Man: bloody awful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you make a gay man fuck a woman?

Shit in her cunt

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How do you make a gay man fuck a woman?

Shit in her cunt

Oh dear think you could be in trouble for that one

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"2 lepers playing poker, one threw his hand in and the other one laughed his head off"

hehehehe

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By *verysmileMan
over a year ago

Canterbury

How do you know when you pass an elephant?

You cannot get the toilet seat down.

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By *ittyMan
over a year ago

preston

What do you call a chinese man with one leg!!!?

Tie one shoe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you pass electricity ??

Put your finger in a plug socket & touch someone!!

WTF !!!' Friend of mines joke each time she tells it she's rolling around with laughter , tears the works ????!!!!

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