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Jokes..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Wife tells husband she's bought a toilet brush and tells him to use it.. A week later she asks if he's used it as the toilet is dirty, "yes i used it every time" he said" , "but it's too rough.. i've gone back to using the toilet paper "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Wife tells husband she's bought a toilet brush and tells him to use it.. A week later she asks if he's used it as the toilet is dirty, "yes i used it every time" he said" , "but it's too rough.. i've gone back to using the toilet paper " "

ok you can start now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Man walks into a pub with an alligator, the barman says getbthat thing out of here before it hurts someone, and the man replies dont worry ive teained him he does a trick watch, he takes out his dick an hits the gator on the head with an traythe gator comes up an puts his dick in his mouth, the man turns around an says see hes good, anyone want a go, and from in the corner a woman shouts yeah me but dont hit me as hard as you hit the gator

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People often ask me what my wife does for a job but it's difficult to say...

She sells sea shells on the sea shore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you know if a tortoise is depressed?

He just doesn't come out of his shell.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Man walks into his doctors wrapped in cling film..

Doctor says well I can clearly see you're nuts ! !

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By *iverpool LoverMan
over a year ago

liverpool

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get the little bitches house.

knock knock

whos there?

The chicken.

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By *enard ArgenteMan
over a year ago

London and France

Two rednecks out hunting; one trips over and accidentally shoots himself.

The other calls 911;

" There's been a hunting accident and my buddy has shot himself : "

Operator:

" is he wounded or dead?"

"I don't know he might be dead"

" well can you make sure? I'll hold on the line"

"OK wait" .......

BANG

" Yep he's dead, what now?"....

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By *rbadguy64Couple
over a year ago

bangor

2 prawns walking along the seabed 1 was called Joe the other Christian , Christian says to joe " I hate my life as a Prawn all we do is scuttle along the seabed scavaging and getting shit upon by all the other sea creatures " now look at that shark , what I life he leads , he is fast can travel anywhere with ease , he eats what he wants every one is afraid of him ( I wish I was a shark ) then all of s sudden a bolt of lightning changes Christian into a massive Great white, wow this is unbelievable , and on he goes , about 4 weeks later this shark life isn't all it's cracked up to be , he has no friends cause every one is scared of him , man are hunting him , and even other sharks hunt and swim alone , so he decides to swim all the way to the bottom of the Sea and his old mate Joe , he eventually finds Joe and pours his heart out saying how he hates life as a shark , and Joe looks up shrugs and says " well you can't be a prawn again Christian."

( I'm here all week ) lol

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

A mate cracked the how to get a fat bird into bed? Piece of cake joke. I asked him if that was how women get him into bed?

He hasn't recovered from it yet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My playmate accused me of being kinky the other night. I was so shocked I spat her piss out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got a chap at the door the other day so I shouted who's there? The police was the reply. What do you want? we just want a wee chat they said. How many of you are there? There's two of us. Well fuck off and chat to each other then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why is marriage like a hurricane?

It's warm and wet with a lot of blowing when it starts and in the end it takes your house.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I came into some money recently.

The bank won't accept it because all the notes are stuck together.

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