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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So I've been speaking to this girl recently, not from this site. But we've been on a date and so on and I've had this niggling feeling that there isn't something quite right.

She's a lovely girl in every sense of the word, but she's just not for me.

Anyway we carried on speaking and she wanted to understand why I had my doubts on our personalities conflicting. Now personally I'm an introvert, in every sense of the word, but alongside that I'm emotionally void, but this is just how I've always been.

I've read articles by psychiatrists trying to understand what it is that really makes someone as closed off as I am (emotionally) and apparently it's all to do with social conditioning and how men create barriers to stop us from getting hurt (again) or to come across more masculine to appease women and never truly opening up in fear that it might in some way mean that we're vulnerable.

Now that's just paraphrasing, these articles go in to a lot more depth than you could imagine, but I can say hand on my heart that I haven't been hurt in the past and as far as I can remember I've been null and void.

Does this sound familiar to anyone else?

What are your thoughts?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So I've been speaking to this girl recently, not from this site. But we've been on a date and so on and I've had this niggling feeling that there isn't something quite right.

She's a lovely girl in every sense of the word, but she's just not for me.

Anyway we carried on speaking and she wanted to understand why I had my doubts on our personalities conflicting. Now personally I'm an introvert, in every sense of the word, but alongside that I'm emotionally void, but this is just how I've always been.

I've read articles by psychiatrists trying to understand what it is that really makes someone as closed off as I am (emotionally) and apparently it's all to do with social conditioning and how men create barriers to stop us from getting hurt (again) or to come across more masculine to appease women and never truly opening up in fear that it might in some way mean that we're vulnerable.

Now that's just paraphrasing, these articles go in to a lot more depth than you could imagine, but I can say hand on my heart that I haven't been hurt in the past and as far as I can remember I've been null and void.

Does this sound familiar to anyone else?

What are your thoughts?

"

Is it a bad thing? Maybe go see someone and see if you are or if you just feel things differently?

Take a special person not to bore me after a while. But I'm just a free spirit and crave new experiences I'd say xx

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Yes it sounds familiar - I have met people like you OP. You may have been hurt very young, at a point you can't remember or that you have blocked.

I even shut myself off to avoid getting involved and thereby getting hurt.

I know two men who were as you describe until they met their 'one'. With that person everything clicked into place. One really struggled with these new feelings and the relationship didn't last - he found the strain of managing feeling at a such a level too much.

The other relationship has lasted almost 20 years now. He feels for his wife and children but not a great deal for anyone else.

I don't have any answers but I hope you find what you seek.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes it sounds familiar - I have met people like you OP. You may have been hurt very young, at a point you can't remember or that you have blocked.

I even shut myself off to avoid getting involved and thereby getting hurt.

I know two men who were as you describe until they met their 'one'. With that person everything clicked into place. One really struggled with these new feelings and the relationship didn't last - he found the strain of managing feeling at a such a level too much.

The other relationship has lasted almost 20 years now. He feels for his wife and children but not a great deal for anyone else.

I don't have any answers but I hope you find what you seek."
the second sounds just like my hubs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have been very distant to my family and friends for a number of years, yet very close at the same time, often told not emotional or close in family life, i find that comfortable in life, but i take my medication to relax my head and deal with each day as it comes.

life can be hard i was told so i make my life easy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only love I've really felt is for my children. When it comes to men I have no feelings like that at all.

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester


"The only love I've really felt is for my children. When it comes to men I have no feelings like that at all. "

Not meaning this as a dig but that really quite sad. I've been fucked over by I don't know how many women but they was only able to do it because I loved them which is why I close myself off now but being in love is still a fantastic feeling least while it lasts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does love really exist or is it something we use as a gauge as to how successful our lives are? Something we're taught to believe in from a young age but doesn't really exist. Like Santa

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i tend to keep distances from becoming to emotionally involved in private and in relationships, i dont have a reason other than i have no real feelings i suppose, like when a close relative passes away or a friend moves overseas, i think oh well and carry on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP whilst I understand what you've written I can't say that its familiar to me.

I feel deeply and tend to love openly, even if at times its caused some wounds I don't allow them to define how I choose to be for fear of what might happen.

I do however believe that self awareness is important and in understanding yourself your ability to change or accept is key.

Maybe it's just what it is or maybe you just haven't met the person that sets your world on fire.

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!


"Does love really exist or is it something we use as a gauge as to how successful our lives are? Something we're taught to believe in from a young age but doesn't really exist. Like Santa "

Yes love does exist. I remember the first time one of my adopted daughters said it to me,now she'd said the words 'I love you' lots of times previously,but I alway's felt like she was just mimicking her older sister. We were on a family once and went back to the apartment for lunch,now I knew if she didn't have an afternoon nap she'd be a grumpy little devil in the evening. She kept wanting to play a game with me,but I was desperately trying to get her to sleep,so just lay at the side of her closing my eyes. She just kept chatting away anyway after a while I opened my eyes giving up on the trying to get her to sleep bit. All a sudden she looked me in the eyes and said I love you mummy and that was the first time I truly felt like she knew the meaning of the words and actually felt it

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

holiday*

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By *aramelMINXWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

Just ain't right for you simples

The right person will get inside your heart n mind

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