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Shall we 'talk'

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Why wont men talk about issues, problems, feelings. They say they dont understand women but they wont listen to us. Why wont they sit down, say whatevers on their mind, listen to what us women feel and deal with the issues brought up. They can do it in business, why not in domestic issues.

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Some of us can and do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If a man says can we talk it's usually to dump you, says he's been unfaithful or lost his wages on the horses

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why wont men talk about issues, problems, feelings. They say they dont understand women but they wont listen to us. Why wont they sit down, say whatevers on their mind, listen to what us women feel and deal with the issues brought up. They can do it in business, why not in domestic issues. "

Not all men are like that.. Commnication issues are one of the biggest reasons couples fight.. Master and I have a rule that we talk about anything no matter how small or stupid it may seem.. as sometimes its the smallest of things that can cause issues..

We discuss things in great depths and set aside time most days to talk about life, love and anything that comes into our heads....

I dont know why some men wont talk though, my ex was like that.. would sulk for weeks over things, and every time I would ask what was wrong I would get told nothing... Then weeks later he would explod and tell me.

Katie x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why wont men talk about issues, problems, feelings. They say they dont understand women but they wont listen to us. Why wont they sit down, say whatevers on their mind, listen to what us women feel and deal with the issues brought up. They can do it in business, why not in domestic issues. "

i totally agree on this one lol.. men gggrrrrrr be open and speak to us ladies

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I have the opposite

Mine don't shut up and will talk about anything and everything all the time

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

I beg to differ, many men do listen and talk, bit of a sweeping statement to tar all of them with the same brush

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham


"Why wont men talk about issues, problems, feelings. They say they dont understand women but they wont listen to us. Why wont they sit down, say whatevers on their mind, listen to what us women feel and deal with the issues brought up. They can do it in business, why not in domestic issues. "

And agsin....can we say some men and some women....my husband and my Master are both excellent listeners who allow me express, grow,and learn.My Master is amazing at letting me talk untill i find the solution to whatever problem i am dealing with.

They both understand people far better than i ever will.

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By *eighleedsMan
over a year ago

leeds


"Why wont men talk about issues, problems, feelings. They say they dont understand women but they wont listen to us. Why wont they sit down, say whatevers on their mind, listen to what us women feel and deal with the issues brought up. They can do it in business, why not in domestic issues. "

Fear of upsetting and losing their partner i guess.

i will always sit down and talk if asked when i am a relationship

i will also expect any partner to sit down and talk if i ask it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why wont men talk about issues, problems, feelings. They say they dont understand women but they wont listen to us. Why wont they sit down, say whatevers on their mind, listen to what us women feel and deal with the issues brought up. They can do it in business, why not in domestic issues. "
i am always ready to listen and talk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why wont men talk about issues, problems, feelings. They say they dont understand women but they wont listen to us. Why wont they sit down, say whatevers on their mind, listen to what us women feel and deal with the issues brought up. They can do it in business, why not in domestic issues. "

tra grew up with 5 brothers..I grew up in an environment with 2 'strong' female characters.but females nonetheless

What the OP described is almost the exact opposite of our house. I have no qualms in talking honestly or emotionally about anything or even crying in public. Tra has a big bucket of sand to stick her head in...

so...yeah..I don't think it's gender specific

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

Mmmmmn? Did you say something love?

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By *heWolfMan
over a year ago

warwickshire

Yes please pet, milk, no sugar.

Ummm, now, what were you on about?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it depends on their group environment when younger. As Mar described, he developed in a predominantly female environment whereas Tra went through those years mostly surrounded by lads at home. At the adolescent stage of life though most teenagers tend to have friends of the same sex and males and females bond in different ways. Teenage boys tend to have the impression that its not good to show emotion in front of others of the same sex, whereas this may have benefits such as friendships being simpler as you're not having to deal with wave after wave of emotional crisises from your friends or having to second guess and over-analyze everything, they don't have a support network as such that many girls of the same age take for granted, so instead many turn their problems in on themselves and bottle it up as they have no one to talk to. This is one reason why the vast majority of young suicides are male.

While we all grow up and learn to interact with each other less-awkwardly through experience in the main, these emotional lessons tend to stick with us for life as though it can be relatively simple to program ourselves or learn, it is a great deal harder to erase the old program and write a new one or re-learn something in a completely different manner to that which till that point one deemed the "right" way of doing things?

That is why even in adult life, mens way of consoling each other tends to be saying "That's a bastard that mate. Fancy a pint?", where women can support each other far more efficiently during a crisis. Unfortunately for relationships this difference can be one of the biggest stumbling blocks when it comes to problem solving, as for a lot of men it can be incredibly difficult to open up in this way, just as it can be difficult for most women to emotionally detatch themselves when they have to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes x

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I guess I'm quite lucky... I can talk to all the men in my life. I was about to say that I have six men in my life and then thought about how terrible that sounds but I do!

They're all very different but I know, without doubt, that I can say anything to each of them and have a conversation about it without any issues. None of them are afraid to talk about their feelings and I'm not afraid to talk about how I feel with them.

Yes... I'm uber lucky!

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"Unfortunately for relationships this difference can be one of the biggest stumbling blocks when it comes to problem solving, as for a lot of men it can be incredibly difficult to open up in this way, just as it can be difficult for most women to emotionally detatch themselves when they have to."

And vice-versa.

As I learned.

To my cost.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why wont men talk about issues, problems, feelings. They say they dont understand women but they wont listen to us. Why wont they sit down, say whatevers on their mind, listen to what us women feel and deal with the issues brought up. They can do it in business, why not in domestic issues. "

I feel that men who use the overly worn cliche ' I don't understand women' never will.

Why do they need to understand 'women' ?

Just understanding their own partner will do.

I get sick to the back teeth of being placed in one single homogenous group with the other group thinking we are all alike.

As a woman i have more in common with some of the males on this forum than I do with most of the women. I really can't go for the 'them and us' arguements.

I see the differences. Vive!

Understanding is more about cultural similiarities than it is with gender differences.

If a persons partner doesn't listen or talk it doesn't mean he won't listen to others or talk to others. Nor does it mean that other men are like him.

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By *heWolfMan
over a year ago

warwickshire

.....and bring the biscuit tin, there's a good girl.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I typed a long reply on my phone and lost it all. I did use the cliche of men and obviously I dont believe all men dont listen, it was just to open up a forum discussion. Ive worked in a typically male environment and the guys were brilliant at their jobs. Sometimes issue and my own personal feelings about what I was involved in left me upset and I wanted to talk. I found women were better in those circumstances. At home im the only female in the house and they wont talk about domestic issues. I try to talk to them bout helping me but they agree but take no notice until I have a hissy fit. My guy is easy to talk to and I can tell him very personal things. This hasnt been the case with every man ive been in a relationship with tho

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"I beg to differ, many men do listen and talk, bit of a sweeping statement to tar all of them with the same brush"

seconded

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why wont men talk about issues, problems, feelings. They say they dont understand women but they wont listen to us. Why wont they sit down, say whatevers on their mind, listen to what us women feel and deal with the issues brought up. They can do it in business, why not in domestic issues. "

Welcome to the wonderful world of raging stereotypes, enjoy your stay.

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston


"I beg to differ, many men do listen and talk, bit of a sweeping statement to tar all of them with the same brush

seconded"

and some just won't shut up

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"I beg to differ, many men do listen and talk, bit of a sweeping statement to tar all of them with the same brush

seconded

and some just won't shut up "
oi....il nick ya champers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I beg to differ, many men do listen and talk, bit of a sweeping statement to tar all of them with the same brush

seconded

and some just won't shut up oi....il nick ya champers "

Huh good luck wi that Femme xx

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston


"I beg to differ, many men do listen and talk, bit of a sweeping statement to tar all of them with the same brush

seconded

and some just won't shut up oi....il nick ya champers "

haha, nobody is THAT brave (or daft)

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"I beg to differ, many men do listen and talk, bit of a sweeping statement to tar all of them with the same brush

seconded

and some just won't shut up oi....il nick ya champers

haha, nobody is THAT brave (or daft) "
Knew that would drawer you out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can we just text

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well as a couple we haven't ever had problems talking. Nige is very open about things and happy to talk all matters. Come to think of it most of the men i have had relationships with over any period of time have too although i don't doubt there are some men and women who don't like to open up and discuss things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I typed a long reply on my phone and lost it all.

I did use the cliche of men and obviously I dont believe all men dont listen, it was just to open up a forum discussion.

Ive worked in a typically male environment and the guys were brilliant at their jobs. Sometimes issue and my own personal feelings about what I was involved in left me upset and I wanted to talk. I found women were better in those circumstances. At home im the only female in the house and they wont talk about domestic issues. I try to talk to them bout helping me but they agree but take no notice until I have a hissy fit.

My guy is easy to talk to and I can tell him very personal things. This hasnt been the case with every man ive been in a relationship with tho

"

Feebs.... Sommat to help. Explain the work needs distributing. They agree. The don't do their share. Do ONLY your share. Don't waste your energy and emotion on them.

Fuck em. I suspect and slap me if im wrong. You 'moan' then do their share anyway. Why should they budge ? I wouldn't. You can do mine too if you want ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men are all different and so are women. Some women are quiet about what's bugging them and then let rip with every issue bugging them in the last month. I don't think it's specific to gender. We all have our personal views on how we deal with emotions and when we don't see it in our partners, we assume something's wrong. Just have to understand and love their ways.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Men are all different and so are women. Some women are quiet about what's bugging them and then let rip with every issue bugging them in the last month. I don't think it's specific to gender. We all have our personal views on how we deal with emotions and when we don't see it in our partners, we assume something's wrong. Just have to understand and love their ways. "

Well I am always in agreement with every goddam post you put ...... how come you are not head of compassion n understanding for the U.N. ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Men are all different and so are women. Some women are quiet about what's bugging them and then let rip with every issue bugging them in the last month. I don't think it's specific to gender. We all have our personal views on how we deal with emotions and when we don't see it in our partners, we assume something's wrong. Just have to understand and love their ways.

Well I am always in agreement with every goddam post you put ...... how come you are not head of compassion n understanding for the U.N. ? "

Because I'd put everyone out of a job!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I beg to differ, many men do listen and talk, bit of a sweeping statement to tar all of them with the same brush

seconded

and some just won't shut up "

Me you have to stick a cock in my mouth to shut this man up I talk for England and been told on more than a million occasions to shut the fuck up

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By *orestersCouple
over a year ago

The Forest

[Removed by poster at 15/02/11 16:12:03]

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By *orestersCouple
over a year ago

The Forest


"I typed a long reply on my phone and lost it all.

I did use the cliche of men and obviously I dont believe all men dont listen, it was just to open up a forum discussion.

Ive worked in a typically male environment and the guys were brilliant at their jobs. Sometimes issue and my own personal feelings about what I was involved in left me upset and I wanted to talk. I found women were better in those circumstances. At home im the only female in the house and they wont talk about domestic issues. I try to talk to them bout helping me but they agree but take no notice until I have a hissy fit.

My guy is easy to talk to and I can tell him very personal things. This hasnt been the case with every man ive been in a relationship with tho

"

I'm not sure I quite get the gist of the first part of your post - are you saying that you tried to talk about personal feelings with the men at your work and you don't think they weren't interested? If that's the case, then I'm afraid I wholeheartedly agree with the guys - Mr F would run a mile if a woman at work wanted to discuss feelings, unless it was work related and he was their manager. Work is work and home is home. Imo, personal problems should stay outside work, unless work-related.

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By *orestersCouple
over a year ago

The Forest

you don't think they were interested? .........ooops, double negative!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Work is work I'd never discuss personal matter with collegues they all come to me. As for your homelife you say your hubby is great so why talk about past relationships if it's not relevant in your relationship with hubby

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men are from Mars woman are from Venus ...... and its a good book ..... men are very diffrent .. us woman alot of the time we wish them to here how we feel but thay really dont care well come across like thay dont here us. lol... or wish to know so we feel like banging your head on a brick wall at times i know i do , lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Work is work I'd never discuss personal matter with collegues they all come to me. As for your homelife you say your hubby is great so why talk about past relationships if it's not relevant in your relationship with hubby"

Sometimes I saw things within my day to day working life that were upsetting and whilst the majority of the time I was big and strong because it was my job, sometimes it got to me and I just wanted to get it off my chest before I went home, because I couldnt talk about it at home. But I found that the guys maintained a sense of detachment and "hardness" which was good, dont get me wrong, you need that to do the type of job we did. The women were better at discussing the personal aspects of this.

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