FabSwingers.com forum: Our 'secret' life .....

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Our swinging lifestyle is something we keep very much a secret from friends and family .

This is sometimes a bit frustrating , having no one to talk to about anything related to our secret life .

Obviously we have come to terms with it over our 5 years in the lifestyle . The forums and people we chat to on here help , but a recent comment on a thread got us thinking .

Our pics and comments on here are often our way of being open about the fun we have . Fab helps us arrange meets, share thoughts and generally provides a platform for what we can't do in ' real life '.

So my point is this - why would our style of sharing our lifestyle experiences on here piss anyone off ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you asked them? Its hard to piss me off. But i have lines and theres one thing you do i dont agree with but thats mine and my shetlands problem

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Fuckwits everywhere

For people who claim to be open minded. Most swingers are extremely vanilla in their opinions.

Having said that, you guys push the boundaries further than most.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because life is full of people who like to piss on your chips

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A couple of friends know not bothered at all.

One lot In fact were more annoyed that we felt we couldn't trust them.

The others had suspicions anyway and really was not surprised at all.

It's not something I would tell family but trusting friends are fine with it.

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By *inzi LTV/TS
over a year ago

The Garden of Eden in Beautiful North Wales

Leonard Cohen - In my Secret Life

Great song.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Some people will be offended by almost anything.

You have nothing to justify to anyone.

Don't sweat it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me personally, some of your posts are funny but sometimes it seems you want fun and fuck everyone else.

For example, having blowjobs while driving just screams of selfishness.

Have fun but for god's sake have consideration for others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Human nature, people will always get pissed off by something..

Things piss us off that others just shrug off, and im sure we happily accept things that annoy others.

Lol thats why threads can sometimes be so entertaining

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By *aneandpaulCouple
over a year ago

cleveleys

None of our friends and family know about this side of our life.

We often think are we the only ones that play in all our friends and people we know or are they like us keep it private from them

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Our swinging lifestyle is something we keep very much a secret from friends and family .

This is sometimes a bit frustrating , having no one to talk to about anything related to our secret life .

Obviously we have come to terms with it over our 5 years in the lifestyle . The forums and people we chat to on here help , but a recent comment on a thread got us thinking .

So my point is this - why would our style of sharing our lifestyle experiences on here piss anyone off ?"

Because there is someone, somewhere waiting to be pissed off by everything. However you seem on the face of it not to care what other people think, then along comes the post asking for approval in a roundabout way, you will never get that from everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So you're obviously referring to me.

I'm fairly sure no one has ever said you shouldn't post or share your experiences. But you do court controversy by doing so, and it's obvious. I have no problem with that, and I'm not being professionally offended (whatever people may like to think) but if I think something is crass or naff I have every right to say so. And you need me and my ilk there to say so, or you wouldn't enjoy what you post. It's clear you revel in your "controversial" reputation and why not, but you can't have it both ways. Maybe everyone should just go "oh yeah me too" every time you posted. I honestly don't think you'd enjoy that...

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Yeah me too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I spend a lot of my time scanning the internet for things to be told to be outraged by.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"So you're obviously referring to me.

El oh 'ell

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So you're obviously referring to me.

She does have a point?

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By *llen n SebbCouple
over a year ago

Walkinstown

"Fuckwits everywhere

For people who claim to be open minded. Most swingers are extremely vanilla in their opinions.

Having said that, you guys push the boundaries further than most. "

So true.

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By *llen n SebbCouple
over a year ago

Walkinstown

We'd love to be more open too. However, in Ireland people just can't keep their mouths shut.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So you're obviously referring to me.

So glad you posted

And what a great response .

Never really thought about it that way , and you're right !

Of course we sometimes seek approval , who doesn't ? But at the same time we are sometimes deliberately controversial for no other reason than we can .

For that we deserve the criticism , and rightly so .

Thanks for posting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People make up.their minds about other people very quickly, and if they make up their mind they don't like someone, they get pissed off with anything they post, there are people who go out if their way to snipe at me, or argue with me, or try to make me look foolish, but they overestimate how much I care.

As long as you are true to yourself, it makes no difference what others think

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"For me personally, some of your posts are funny but sometimes it seems you want fun and fuck everyone else.

For example, having blowjobs while driving just screams of selfishness.

Have fun but for god's sake have consideration for others."

I take your point on the bj while driving .

In all honesty it's the fact that it evokes such a reaction that makes me say it

In truth it's not something we do at all any more . Probably because the thought of the possible ramifications would be hard to live with .

Sure , we've done it in the past - but wouldn't now .

Again you highlight a good reason why we might evoke a negative reaction

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So you're obviously referring to me.

She does have a point?"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Our swinging lifestyle is something we keep very much a secret from friends and family .

This is sometimes a bit frustrating , having no one to talk to about anything related to our secret life .

Obviously we have come to terms with it over our 5 years in the lifestyle . The forums and people we chat to on here help , but a recent comment on a thread got us thinking .

So my point is this - why would our style of sharing our lifestyle experiences on here piss anyone off ?

Very true , and after seeing the responses , we wouldn't want 100% approval . Nor would we warrant it ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always figured that you liked knocking the forums around a bit, so to speak. I think when you try to get people riled up, they will oblige. I try to have my opinion but state it in a way that is somewhat conciliatory, but I just got the impression that that wasn't your style, so how can you be surprised that people get pissy and disagree?

Just do your thing and forget everyone else. I've realized that is the way forward recently, as well.

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never seen a "shoot at me" thread before, just when you think you've seen.it all eh!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So you're obviously referring to me.

I'm fairly sure no one has ever said you shouldn't post or share your experiences. But you do court controversy by doing so, and it's obvious. I have no problem with that, and I'm not being professionally offended (whatever people may like to y think) but if I think something is crass or naff I have every right to say so. And you need me and my ilk there to say so, or you wouldn't enjoy what you post. It's clear you revel in your "controversial" reputation and why not, but you can't have it both ways. Maybe everyone should just go "oh yeah me too" every time you posted. I honestly don't think you'd enjoy that...

Can you explain what you mean by not being professionally offended, am a bit lost on that comment?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I always figured that you liked knocking the forums around a bit, so to speak. I think when you try to get people riled up, they will oblige. I try to have my opinion but state it in a way that is somewhat conciliatory, but I just got the impression that that wasn't your style, so how can you be surprised that people get pissy and disagree?

Just do your thing and forget everyone else. I've realized that is the way forward recently, as well.

-Courtney "

I think in a roundabout way I have realised this .

There are days I don't want to court controversy , maybe feeling a bit low or vulnerable , and seek approval .

Other days I can be the biggest pain in the arse ( think bj while driving ) and fully deserve the disapproval

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So you're obviously referring to me.

I'm fairly sure no one has ever said you shouldn't post or share your experiences. But you do court controversy by doing so, and it's obvious. I have no problem with that, and I'm not being professionally offended (whatever people may like to y think) but if I think something is crass or naff I have every right to say so. And you need me and my ilk there to say so, or you wouldn't enjoy what you post. It's clear you revel in your "controversial" reputation and why not, but you can't have it both ways. Maybe everyone should just go "oh yeah me too" every time you posted. I honestly don't think you'd enjoy that...

Can you explain what you mean by not being professionally offended, am a bit lost on that comment?

There are comments above about people who get offended by everything, go out of their way looking for something to be offended by, get offended on behalf of others etc. The professionally offended.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well... I'm glad we cleared this case up.

Next!

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By *iss AdventureWoman
over a year ago

Wonderland

"So you're obviously referring to me.

So glad you posted

And what a great response .

Never really thought about it that way , and you're right !

Of course we sometimes seek approval , who doesn't ? But at the same time we are sometimes deliberately controversial for no other reason than we can .

For that we deserve the criticism , and rightly so .

Thanks for posting

This I like.

You're no shrinking violets by any means and Rubys post and your response both make me think of the phrase "no publicity is bad publicity".

I have no idea what the original issue/comment was, but we know ourselves if something we post might be deemed controversial by others, but our response to the fall out shows something more important, ones maturity and real strength of character.

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By *aneandpaulCouple
over a year ago

cleveleys

"So you're obviously referring to me.

I'm fairly sure no one has ever said you shouldn't post or share your experiences. But you do court controversy by doing so, and it's obvious. I have no problem with that, and I'm not being professionally offended (whatever people may like to y think) but if I think something is crass or naff I have every right to say so. And you need me and my ilk there to say so, or you wouldn't enjoy what you post. It's clear you revel in your "controversial" reputation and why not, but you can't have it both ways. Maybe everyone should just go "oh yeah me too" every time you posted. I honestly don't think you'd enjoy that...

Can you explain what you mean by not being professionally offended, am a bit lost on that comment?

There are comments above about people who get offended by everything, go out of their way looking for something to be offended by, get offended on behalf of others etc. The professionally offended. "
Very true at time i can not understand why they are on an adult site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was very open with all my friends, the only ones that didn't know what I was doing was my family, lots asked questions and I was happy to answer them but no one was shocked or said anything about me, not to my face anyway!

My family certainly had no idea how ads and I actually met lol

G x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So you're obviously referring to me.

So glad you posted

And what a great response .

Never really thought about it that way , and you're right !

Of course we sometimes seek approval , who doesn't ? But at the same time we are sometimes deliberately controversial for no other reason than we can .

For that we deserve the criticism , and rightly so .

Thanks for posting

I also give a robust response because I know you can take it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well... I'm glad we cleared this case up.

Next!"

I think you need a thread like this. I'm offended by everything you say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a real life outbreak of common sense on this thread.

Keep this up and the forums are doomed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well... I'm glad we cleared this case up.

Next!

I think you need a thread like this. I'm offended by everything you say

Good.

Twat.

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Have you found a dwarf to fuck yet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread reminds me of how children act up to get a parent's attention, they just crave recognition of their existence, any type of attention is better than none.

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

You guys are exhibitionists. You like to show it off, good for you. If you're really worried about the opinion of others, hold back on what you share. If not, you crack on.

I for one enjoy your exploits. Far more interesting than the 'please fab my pics, I'm so insecure' threads

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Have you found a dwarf to fuck yet?

We have a promising lead.....

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

"Have you found a dwarf to fuck yet?

We have a promising lead.....

"
looking forward to hearing the sordid details

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham

"For me personally, some of your posts are funny but sometimes it seems you want fun and fuck everyone else.

For example, having blowjobs while driving just screams of selfishness.

Have fun but for god's sake have consideration for others."
Bet you have eaten a banana while you have driven...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a very close relationship with my eldest son who has now left home but was worried about his opinion of me if i told him.Had a sort out in his old room to redecorate and found a huge stash of gadgits and toys for the bedroom some i was a little baffled by. It did make me laugh as he was obviously more experienced than me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

prefer people to be honest and say what they really think - if it pisses some off so be it -thats the way the mop flops

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This thread reminds me of how children act up to get a parent's attention, they just crave recognition of their existence, any type of attention is better than none."

As I pointed out in the op ... fab and the forums are the place we have to chat and share our experiences . What's up with that ?

Sure there are times we crave recognition , it makes us feel happy

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Have you found a dwarf to fuck yet?

We have a promising lead.....

looking forward to hearing the sordid details

Ha ha ... love it you naughty man

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a very close relationship with my eldest son who has now left home but was worried about his opinion of me if i told him.Had a sort out in his old room to redecorate and found a huge stash of gadgits and toys for the bedroom some i was a little baffled by. It did make me laugh as he was obviously more experienced than me."

That made me smile.

I have recently, unexpectedly confessed all to one of my close friends away from Fab. Turns out she wasn't shocked at all and had been involved in the lifestyle years ago. So sometimes, friends surprise you.

Sarah

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

You seem to like to shock, especially anything controversial you say you would do/ have done/ want to do. Don't be surprised that some people won't agree with it and say so although I am not sure saying so would mean they were pissed off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"prefer people to be honest and say what they really think - if it pisses some off so be it -thats the way the mop flops

Chinese whispers : we all have lives away from fab familys and children and prehaps responsible jobs as well i'd rather keep it to fab personally.Tell the wrong person or somebody that knows the wrong person and it could all end in misery.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This thread reminds me of how children act up to get a parent's attention, they just crave recognition of their existence, any type of attention is better than none.

As I pointed out in the op ... fab and the forums are the place we have to chat and share our experiences . What's up with that ?

Sure there are times we crave recognition , it makes us feel happy

I didn't say there was a problem, but if you crave validation and court attention to get it,then you have to expect the response to be a mix of negative as well as positive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For me personally, some of your posts are funny but sometimes it seems you want fun and fuck everyone else.

For example, having blowjobs while driving just screams of selfishness.

Have fun but for god's sake have consideration for others.Bet you have eaten a banana while you have driven..."

I don't drive and I don't like bananas

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I recently lost my "best friend" because of me swinging! I told her about it and generally she is open minded, but as i was also making new friends along the way she got very jealous of me hanging out with other people especially as sex was involved.

Luckily we've made some excellent friends we see on and off the scene from Fab who are much more open and understanding of our new found lifestyle!

People are always going to be judgemental assholes wherever you go. just roll with it and keep having fun. x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"For me personally, some of your posts are funny but sometimes it seems you want fun and fuck everyone else.

For example, having blowjobs while driving just screams of selfishness.

Have fun but for god's sake have consideration for others.Bet you have eaten a banana while you have driven...

I don't drive and I don't like bananas

I've eaten a banana while driving but it didn't bring me to orgasm and was never anywhere near my genitals. Oral sex is nothing like eating a banana

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don't piss me off as your lifestyle on / off Fabs is so far removed from mine.

As I've also said before, I don't agree with many of the threads you start & some I think are in bad taste, again my opinion.

You seem to like the controversy, it's your niche & fair enough, there's room for us all on here.

Anybody posting though has to expect as many people may disagree as agree.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What we got here, is a failure to communicate, some swingers you can't reach. So you get what we had here last week!, which is the way he wants it. Well, he gets it. I don't like it any more than you swingers.

Yours faithfully a tree hugger

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What we got here, is a failure to communicate, some swingers you can't reach. So you get what we had here last week!, which is the way he wants it. Well, he gets it. I don't like it any more than you swingers.

Yours faithfully a tree hugger

Huh ?

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Are you quoting GnR or Cool Hand Luke?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yours faithfully a tree hugger

Huh ?

"
.

Oh you've never seen cool hand Luke!!..

Now I am offended

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Are you quoting GnR or Cool Hand Luke?

Is that what that post is ?

A quote ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ah, I get it now

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=452XjnaHr1A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ah, I get it now

"
.

I just threw the tree hugger bit in for a laugh.

Don't panic I'm not offended by being a tree hugger or being called one.... We all have our secret life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ah, I get it now

I just threw the tree hugger bit in for a laugh.

Don't panic I'm not offended by being a tree hugger or being called one.... We all have our secret life

How about sandal-wearer?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi OP

Dont get discouraged by others on here.

I always find your posts fun and interesting.

Some times there are some , just a few , who can be overly judgemental even though we are all here for our own reasons.

Carry on being as spiffing as you both are and ignore those who like to throw stones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My wife tried to give me a blow job while driving I told her to stop and keep her eyes on the road

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ah, I get it now

I just threw the tree hugger bit in for a laugh.

Don't panic I'm not offended by being a tree hugger or being called one.... We all have our secret life

How about sandal-wearer?

"
.Depends

With or without socks!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ah, I get it now

I just threw the tree hugger bit in for a laugh.

Don't panic I'm not offended by being a tree hugger or being called one.... We all have our secret life

How about sandal-wearer?

.Depends

With or without socks!

With hairy feet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My wife tried to give me a blow job while driving I told her to stop and keep her eyes on the road

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I actually like the OP's views - I respect & appreciate how ballsy you are

In respect to friends/family knowing I'm on here... my best friend knows & she disapproves, so we have a "don't ask don't tell" policy, and if I meet someone I just tell her they're from PoF. A few other friends know but none of them were surprised as they all know I'm a total perv.

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By *artytwoCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Failure to communicate? Mmmm

Biggest mistake is for anyone to assume all this malarkey is anything like real life.

Then to assume that a contributors forum/swinging character or personality is

any indication of their 'vanilla' version.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try and think of swinging (how ever you choose to do it) like a superpower.

It's this secret thing you do and you have a different name and attitude when you are doing it but you can't tell anyone!

Except others with the superpower!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Try and think of swinging (how ever you choose to do it) like a superpower.

It's this secret thing you do and you have a different name and attitude when you are doing it but you can't tell anyone!

Except others with the superpower!

That's a great analogy !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP I've never really thought that your posts are deliberately provocative, I just think that you are an assertive couple who enjoy what they do and are not afraid to be upfront about it.

I have never courted approval on these forums. I reply in an honest way to threads and I have a no nonsense attitude. My view on this is do what you enjoy doing, post what you want to post and don't try to please strangers. This is your outlet.

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