FabSwingers.com forum: Out doing each other..

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I cant meet tonight as... the babysitter is poorly and ive lost my car keys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My vagina fell off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can meet tonight because....... I already have a meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to learn my times tables

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't meet as I'd rather play with myself .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry meets off , I lent my Brother my cock and he hasn't brought it back yet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't meet tonight because... no-one wants to meet me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My vagina fell off"

well my vagina and my ass hole became prolapsed and now ive a super hole..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a nasty little discharge I need seeing to.

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

I can't meet as I've just been kidnapped..again

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can't meet as I've just been kidnapped..again"

Well i was kidnapped and murdered but brought back to life as Frankenstein and because it rained im now all rusty

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have a nasty little discharge I need seeing to.

Well my pussy acid is stronger than yours and it stains all my black knickers lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My vagina fell off

well my vagina and my ass hole became prolapsed and now ive a super hole..

You've been down the large veg aisle in Asda

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't meet, I'm too busy baking carrot cake

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've gone off sex......

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

[Removed by poster at 13/03/16 10:35:06]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have to learn my times tables "

Lmao wow!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My vagina fell off

well my vagina and my ass hole became prolapsed and now ive a super hole..

You've been down the large veg aisle in Asda

not just the large veg aisle.. i straddles a bollard outside the store..

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I cant meet tonight as... I'm a secret agent and I've just been called in to save the world from a secret but heinous plot being carried out by a supervillain. Again.

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

Can't meet as I'm having an inane conversation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a nasty little discharge I need seeing to.

Well my pussy acid is stronger than yours and it stains all my black knickers lol "

I have a septic arsehole.

Oh god; I just had a little

at that thought

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm washing my hair

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm becoming a Nun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm in A&E with a vacuum cleaner related mishap

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

I was abducted by aliens and subjected to scientific experiments which included anal probing. This has led to a sore arse and very tender chalfonts. Can we rearrange for later in the week?

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

"I can't meet as I've just been kidnapped..again

Well i was kidnapped and murdered but brought back to life as Frankenstein and because it rained im now all rusty "

What a coincidence..

I just mentioned Frankenstein in another thread ("Just get instant deletes" just ten minutes ago, and I'm sure I've never typed that name ever before...

(Actually to be technically accurate Frankenstein was the name of the doctor who created the monster)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't fart with confidence

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm in A&E with a vacuum cleaner related mishap

lol, at least if it's a Henry you can sit down while you wait to be seen and It saves on a hospital trolly.

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By *nnette_tvTV/TS
over a year ago

huntingdon

My Grandmother has just been stuck by a charging rhinoceros.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I cant meet tonight as... the babysitter is poorly and ive lost my car keys

I can't meet tonight because I'm doing my hair.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm in A&E with a vacuum cleaner related mishap

lol, at least if it's a Henry you can sit down while you wait to be seen and It saves on a hospital trolly.

Omg stuck in the tube and Henry with that smile on his face lol

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By *shtonwpMan
over a year ago

Lincoln

Can not meet tonight as I am having my cock put back on

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm washing my hair

since when have you owned a wig? lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a Rocket Scientist and I'm needed back at Space HQ asap.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In a nutshell...... literally I'm stuck in a giant nutshell!!

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Just got my specs back from the opticians and realised you are ugly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm in A&E with a vacuum cleaner related mishap

lol, at least if it's a Henry you can sit down while you wait to be seen and It saves on a hospital trolly.

Omg stuck in the tube and Henry with that smile on his face lol"

Henry loves everyone but some folk are taking it for granted. Just because He smiles all the time it does not mean He fancies ya, lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mum says I can't come out to play tonight. Sorry.

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

The wife just found this account

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just got my specs back from the opticians and realised you are ugly"

OMG, lol. I would rather hear any of the above than that one. haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm in A&E with a vacuum cleaner related mishap

lol, at least if it's a Henry you can sit down while you wait to be seen and It saves on a hospital trolly.

Omg stuck in the tube and Henry with that smile on his face lol

Henry loves everyone but some folk are taking it for granted. Just because He smiles all the time it does not mean He fancies ya, lol

And I thought he was giving me the eye all this time! He's been using me lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My nuts got tied in a knot and I can't walk

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By *urvy_bi_honeyWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

I've got a date with a corn on the cob and a rather juicy looking marrow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't meet tonight as the sheep were a right handful today. Put my back out!

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

"My vagina fell off"

Mine fell off and was replaced by a sausage

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I can't meet tonight because I had a meet yesterday that turned into an FFF then an FFF plus a few Ms so I am too knackered.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really really really really just cant be arsed

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By *dam and slutCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

"I have a nasty little discharge I need seeing to.

Well my pussy acid is stronger than yours and it stains all my black knickers lol "

Is it as bad as " blue waffle " google it..

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I'm having a sex change.

Can we reschedule? You are bi, right?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm in A&E with a vacuum cleaner related mishap

lol, at least if it's a Henry you can sit down while you wait to be seen and It saves on a hospital trolly.

Omg stuck in the tube and Henry with that smile on his face lol

Henry loves everyone but some folk are taking it for granted. Just because He smiles all the time it does not mean He fancies ya, lol

And I thought he was giving me the eye all this time! He's been using me lol"

haha. He sucks up dust not human appendages or vise versa.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't make the meet I'm on the m25 stuck behind a submarine with stabilisers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm in A&E with a vacuum cleaner related mishap

lol, at least if it's a Henry you can sit down while you wait to be seen and It saves on a hospital trolly.

Omg stuck in the tube and Henry with that smile on his face lol

Henry loves everyone but some folk are taking it for granted. Just because He smiles all the time it does not mean He fancies ya, lol

And I thought he was giving me the eye all this time! He's been using me lol

haha. He sucks up dust not human appendages or vise versa.

Dammit! Thought it was strange finding a sex toy like him on the shelves at Asda lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm having a sex change.

Can we reschedule? You are bi, right?"

Yep. I'm bi. Get yourself a penis and we can move on from shopping together to me wrapping these legs round you

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By *inzi LTV/TS
over a year ago

The Garden of Eden in Beautiful North Wales

I can't meet tonight because I'm Catholic and only just remembered!

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I'm having a sex change.

Can we reschedule? You are bi, right?

Yep. I'm bi. Get yourself a penis and we can move on from shopping together to me wrapping these legs round you

Does a strap-on count?

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

I can't meet tonight because it's Sunday and I have to take the service

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm having a sex change.

Can we reschedule? You are bi, right?

Yep. I'm bi. Get yourself a penis and we can move on from shopping together to me wrapping these legs round you

Does a strap-on count?

I've just taken one of those so I guess so

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm cutting my toe nails.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cant meet you tonight as ive been made a better offer of POF.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't meet tonight as I'm out of fava beans and chianti

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im doing some bush topiary

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

I have joined a convent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a ruddy good episode of Heartbeat on ITV3 this evening.

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

I am having corn on the cob and sky remote envy so much so that I am going to call Ann summers and demand that do dildo shaped as sky remotes to make me fee better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't meet tonight as I'm totally tangled up upside down in my sex swing. Little help??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't meet tonight I'm covering my cunt with my ex husbands ashes.

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

I've been invited to a blue waffle party

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By *ohn MingoMan
over a year ago

Dublin

"I can't meet tonight I'm covering my cunt with my ex husbands ashes."

Nice, but i'd have upped the ante by saying "i've used my husband's ashes to make a vibrator and now i'm fucking myself with it"

I'm afraid to use my first choice, it's a bit edgy and offensive.

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By *iss AdventureWoman
over a year ago

Wonderland

I prefer your friend in your cock pics so I'm having a night in with a remote control

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

"I prefer your friend in your cock pics so I'm having a night in with a remote control"

I prefer my friend in your photos so I having some corn and cob to nibble on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm really sorry, me and the 15 voices in my head have had an argument over what to wear again, so we're not coming out now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't meet tonight as I would rather watch the rugby!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really sorry but have to cancel tonight. Forgot that I'd arranged to meet with your Mum at the same time. Later xx

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I'm having a sex change.

Can we reschedule? You are bi, right?

Yep. I'm bi. Get yourself a penis and we can move on from shopping together to me wrapping these legs round you

Does a strap-on count?

I've just taken one of those so I guess so

Wohoo! I'm in!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't meet as I'd rather play with myself .

This has been me

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

I can't meet because I don't actually exist. I'm really just a figment of your imagination.

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

"Can't meet as I'd rather play with myself .

This has been me

I dare say quite a few no-show males have done that too

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

I need to sort out my pictures collection, yours are on page 88

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I've got all of the above - so maybe I'll meet another time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't meet as I took my teeth out to sterident them and they fell and broke on my bathroom floor.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm washing my hair

since when have you owned a wig? lol "

I can't meet tonight, I'm putting my wig in the washing machine.

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

"I'm washing my hair

since when have you owned a wig? lol

I can't meet tonight, I'm putting my wig in the washing machine.

Since when have you had a washing machine?

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

My mother died and I'm the Best Man... Gotta dash... Byeee!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm washing my hair

since when have you owned a wig? lol

I can't meet tonight, I'm putting my wig in the washing machine.

Since when have you had a washing machine?"

Since I got a wig, obviously.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We can't meet tonight cus we went out at lunche and the wife got pissed as a fart ( no really she did )

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I'm still in my pjs, haven't had a shower, am waiting for my boss to call me and I have a date with a curry.

[no actual lies were told in the making of this post]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you mean are we still meeting later ? I have no idea who you are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't meet tonight because I'm probably fake and the green tick I had fell off and punctured my car tyre which means I have no transport. Some of that's true.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't meet tonight as I've gotta rest at some point n it is Sunday

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm still in my pjs, haven't had a shower, am waiting for my boss to call me and I have a date with a curry.

[no actual lies were told in the making of this post]

Oh the shame, gone 7 and you're still in yah jammies.

Hang your head in shame.....

Some of us are making an effort you know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't meet tonight because I have no paper bags left and I definitely need 2 to meet you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have ebola.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't meet tonight because nobody on here is worthy

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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago

You Dont Need to Know, right now

I can't meet tonight, as I have a huge boil in my armpit, caused by the protruding underwire of my bra-cup.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Dreadfully sorry but I've been caught in a freak yachting accident...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I slid down a razor blade using my balls as brakes jeeeeeez

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could meet tonight but I got carried away when chatting with you and forgot that I'm only fab straight....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can't meet tonight, as I have a huge boil in my armpit, caused by the protruding underwire of my bra-cup.

"
ewwwwwe do you really

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By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough

Got to cancel as I've an Alien probe up my jacksy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't meet as always on here!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm having a sex change.

Can we reschedule? You are bi, right?

Yep. I'm bi. Get yourself a penis and we can move on from shopping together to me wrapping these legs round you

Does a strap-on count?

I've just taken one of those so I guess so

Wohoo! I'm in!

Is yours as big as the one from this morning I wonder

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The fridge door fell on my foot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My cat is blacker than yours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't you just love a sexy arse

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