FabSwingers.com forum: Sexual harassment

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Out of 889 women asked, 64% said they had experienced some form of sexual harassment." From a YouGov poll.

This relates to unwanted attention in public places.

I'm not suggesting which proportion of this percentage is from someone trying to chat a woman up, but I'm presuming some instances stem from this.

At which point does trying to chat someone up become sexual harassment? Is it one and the same? Is expressing attraction harassment?

What about at work - should we ever tell a co-worker we find them attractive - or is this sexual harassment? Is it inappropriate? Why?

Don't get me wrong, no means no as it always should (unless you've got a safe word ;-p ). And I am totally not trying to undermine categorically unwanted and offensive sexual attention. But are we a product of society's sexual conditioning?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are these the women that class it as harassment if they get wolf whistled at or hooted at by a lorry driver?

Because I get upset if I don't

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well that's the thing, I'm not sure... But I'm presuming that this must be the case with some claims.

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By *rincesscaracoupleCouple
over a year ago

Saltburn

It is a question no one here can answer because we don't know in what context it was originally asked. Were the women polled told not to include being chatted up in a bar? there are many variables to put in place before a poll of this kind can produce reliable results.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It is a question no one here can answer because we don't know in what context it was originally asked. Were the women polled told not to include being chatted up in a bar? there are many variables to put in place before a poll of this kind can produce reliable results. "

I'm not asking based on the stats; the study is what's made me think about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know why some feel the need to trivialise the problems of others. On the Ched Evans posts, we had people saying "this type of rape is worse than that". It's a gross way of thinking.

If someone feels harassed, they're harassed, and the person should stop what they're doing.

Wolf whistling isn't a nice experience, neither is having a crotch rubbed against you on the bus, or felt up on the tube, or being properly assaulted. None of those experiences negates someone else's experiences just because of severity.

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By *rincesscaracoupleCouple
over a year ago

Saltburn

so what you are asking is what do people here regard as sexual harassment?

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By *rincesscaracoupleCouple
over a year ago

Saltburn

"I don't know why some feel the need to trivialise the problems of others. On the Ched Evans posts, we had people saying "this type of rape is worse than that". It's a gross way of thinking.

If someone feels harassed, they're harassed, and the person should stop what they're doing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't know why some feel the need to trivialise the problems of others. On the Ched Evans posts, we had people saying "this type of rape is worse than that". It's a gross way of thinking.

If someone feels harassed, they're harassed, and the person should stop what they're doing.

No one will be happy till we all merge into one sexless or univearsal sex state with no identifiers between the sexes

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By *ust One NightWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

"At which point does trying to chat someone up become sexual harassment? "

Generally, when it is made known that it unwelcome and continues.

Or it is not invited (explicitly or implicitly), and foisted upon the person without (explicit or implicit) consent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't know why some feel the need to trivialise the problems of others. On the Ched Evans posts, we had people saying "this type of rape is worse than that". It's a gross way of thinking.

If someone feels harassed, they're harassed, and the person should stop what they're doing.

No one will be happy till we all merge into one sexless or univearsal sex state with no identifiers between the sexes "

What do you even mean by that? Sexual assault isn't specific to gender.

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

"Are these the women that class it as harassment if they get wolf whistled at or hooted at by a lorry driver?

Because I get upset if I don't

I get upset (well not upset, more furious) if I do. Some bloke I don't know feeling he has the right to make his unsolicited objectification of me public? Damn right, that's harassment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's unwanted it's harrassment.

The only question you need to ask yourself is this: is it ok to approach someone like they are there for your entertainment, amusement, or to titilate you personally.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If it's unwanted it's harrassment.

The only question you need to ask yourself is this: is it ok to approach someone like they are there for your entertainment, amusement, or to titilate you personally."

What if you're approaching them to say you think they look great and you're wondering if they fancied going out some time?

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

I don`t know any woman who has not had some form of sexual harassment. From unwanted shouting, touching, pestering and in the extreme form sexual abuse.

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By *rincesscaracoupleCouple
over a year ago

Saltburn

"I don`t know any woman who has not had some form of sexual harassment. From unwanted shouting, touching, pestering and in the extreme form sexual abuse."

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By *ust One NightWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

"If it's unwanted it's harrassment.

The only question you need to ask yourself is this: is it ok to approach someone like they are there for your entertainment, amusement, or to titilate you personally.

What if you're approaching them to say you think they look great and you're wondering if they fancied going out some time?"

Doesn't matter the content of what you're saying.

You're basically saying your right to tell them what you think is more important than their preference of whether or not they want to hear it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best not to speak to or look at the opposite sex in case they are offended.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Best not to speak to or look at the opposite sex in case they are offended. "

Yep , spot on

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If it's unwanted it's harrassment.

The only question you need to ask yourself is this: is it ok to approach someone like they are there for your entertainment, amusement, or to titilate you personally.

What if you're approaching them to say you think they look great and you're wondering if they fancied going out some time?

Doesn't matter the content of what you're saying.

You're basically saying your right to tell them what you think is more important than their preference of whether or not they want to hear it. "

So should you walk up to someone and say

"In a moment, I'd like to give you my view on whether I find you attractive. And if you receive it well enough, ask you if you'd like to go out somewhere, sometime. Is that okay?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If it's unwanted it's harrassment.

The only question you need to ask yourself is this: is it ok to approach someone like they are there for your entertainment, amusement, or to titilate you personally.

What if you're approaching them to say you think they look great and you're wondering if they fancied going out some time?"

Judge the situation really.

I do get compliments from strangers, i don't take that as harmful but sometimes the conversation changes to sexual and i feel demeaned by that, not the fact that it's sexual but the way it's said like i'm just an object.

You have no idea how a stranger is going to react, people you know you'd have a better idea. You have to judge for yourself whether the person will feel upset, threatened or anything else by what you say. Part of deciding that will be based on what you actually say and how.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

SW1A1AA

Some forums of sexual harressment can depend on now and what is said.

Eg. If a work colleague complimented me on looking nice because of something I was wearing Id take it as a compliment.

If they were learing at me and telling me every 5 minutes I'd see see it as sexual harressment.

Different people react to different situations differently "some" things that are seen has sexual harressment arnt by others this thread proves it. One person loves wolf whistles, one sees it as sexual harressment. I'm in seeing it as sexual harressment camp I'd go out of my way so I didn't have to walk by building sites when I was younger.

Yet I've walked down the street and a close male friend has come up behind me and wolf whistled and thought it a laugh.

So many things can be seen as sexual harressment though. But I wouldn't want to live in a society where we don't do the natural things.

Boy fancies girl, boy goes up to girl asks her for a date, girl gets all silly embarrassed and giggly.

I'd hate that to be turned into sexual harressment even though the girl was embarrassed, this is normal progression.

I'd hate to see when someone paces a straight normal compliment to someone be told to fuck of your sexually harresing me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Best not to speak to or look at the opposite sex in case they are offended. "

I agree

I'm going to open a paper bag and ball gag shop specifically to put a stop to this

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