FabSwingers.com forum: Expectations

By *-and-K OP Couple
over a year ago

Back of Beyond

How do you feel about meetings away from your home city?

Basically if we are meeting in home city we are quite happy to go along to a meet and it turns into a social only.

But if we are travelling 80-150 miles (one way) or so, we expect to play on first meet if we all get along.

Its just too far to go for a couple of hours drinking and chatting, especially when you now factor in the cost of petrol as well.

Does anyone feel they have been duped when this happens?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess it's something you've got to talk about beforehand.

I've been bitten with something similar in the past - I'm happy to accomodate but not keen on people staying over. Had one couple, who were actually local to me, get quite shirty on the night about the fact I hadn't expected them to stay over.

Guess we should have talked about it, but I assume people will go home, as people have never previously asked to stay over, while they assumed they'd be asked to stay!

But to answer your question, if you've not met before - I don't think you can get pissed off with someone if they've decided you're not for them but I guess it's a different thing if they say "great we'd like to do this again but we don't play on a first meet on principle."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I NEVER play on a first meet, meet socially and only local men. It's all spelt out there in my profile and I reiterate that to potential meets.

If someone then wants to meet and expects a shag after travelling miles, more fool them!

Besides, you could be within walking distance of a meet, if they don't float your boat you're not going to play...or would you?!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am happy to travel, but don't expect to play, however I do go prepared just in case

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

We would only travel that far,and have actually gone further,for people we consider friends.So play would be an added bonus rather than an expectation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it is a first meet, and the expectations have been clearly laid out for all parties concerned, then yes.

However, in practice, for the first meeting, I usually arrange to meet half way.

I met a lovely gent recently who drove 5h to meet me in person for the first time at a Travelodge not far from home.

I mentioned before the meet that I was not able to stay beyond certain time due to the need to go home to look after the pets, and that he was welcome to stay the night at his pleasure.

He was keen to meet, and so was I. And yes, we had a fab time together!

He has kindly offered to accommodate both me and the dog at his place. I just need to find a weekend when it is convenient for us both!

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I never have any expectations.

It saves being disappointed.

People have the right to change their mind at any time, including me. I wouldn't think someone had 'duped' me if they changed their mind when I met them and I'd be horrified if I thought someone played with me because one of us had travelled a long way and it would be a waste not to.

*shudders*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've meet men out of town but I rarely travel if they want to see me they are welcome why should I waste my petrol for them

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