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Checking your children's web access ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hubby has a 13 and a 14 year old boys from 1st marriage - ex wife is paranoid about Internet access but not tech savvy (so boys can easily hide it from her) hubby is a Geek and knows where the bodies will be buried on the Internet , and checks what there are up to once in a blue moon, normal teenage stuff of naked girls (one seems to be into Japanese schoolgirls) etc, nothing dodgy, ex wife would be horrified her young Angels have even seen a naked girl, hubby just says he wished he had internet at 14 as was materbating 6 times a day like every other 14 year old, and tells ex-wife everything is fine

Questions

Do you spy on the kids access

And

Should he tell the ex-wife ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get a report sent from my laptop every week for each of my grandchildren who use my laptop. I can see where they have been.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I keep an eye on it... But not sure if he should tell he x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hubby has a 13 and a 14 year old boys from 1st marriage - ex wife is paranoid about Internet access but not tech savvy (so boys can easily hide it from her) hubby is a Geek and knows where the bodies will be buried on the Internet , and checks what there are up to once in a blue moon, normal teenage stuff of naked girls (one seems to be into Japanese schoolgirls) etc, nothing dodgy, ex wife would be horrified her young Angels have even seen a naked girl, hubby just says he wished he had internet at 14 as was materbating 6 times a day like every other 14 year old, and tells ex-wife everything is fine

Questions

Do you spy on the kids access

And

Should he tell the ex-wife ?"

No, I don't spy on my children, I respect their privacy. What I do is discuss what they are likely to see on the internet (i.e. anything and everything) and try to give them the tools to make their own judgements about what they see. I also warn them about safety issues, not revealing information to strangers, and being mindful of respect for others when posting online.

If the ex-wife can't cope with the idea of furiously masturbating adolescent boys, I can't see any value in telling her tbh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He should tell her, it's both of their kids and up to her what happens when she is taking care of them.

I don't spy on my kids internet as in look at their history and that, they're within range of being able to tell what they're up to so i can keep an eye on them that way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have just been to a meeting run by Essex Police at the school all about keeping kids safe online...almost wish i hadn't Its very scary what's out there! Most of the problems seem to come from chat rooms. Did you know for instance sickos out there can now remote access your web cam without you knowing it even bypasses the little webcam 'on' light! Be very watchful of them downloading games or even some free films they can have hidden software to enable the cam. The police guy said put a bit of tape over your webcam eye If your school run this meeting i would definitely go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think it's a good idea for teenagers to be looking at hardcore porn but that's just my opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have just been to a meeting run by Essex Police at the school all about keeping kids safe online...almost wish i hadn't Its very scary what's out there! Most of the problems seem to come from chat rooms. Did you know for instance sickos out there can now remote access your web cam without you knowing it even bypasses the little webcam 'on' light! Be very watchful of them downloading games or even some free films they can have hidden software to enable the cam. The police guy said put a bit of tape over your webcam eye If your school run this meeting i would definitely go."

If they can remotely access your cam then they have full access to everything on your computer as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have kids, but...

When I was a kid my parents got me my own laptop and left me to it. I don't think they would have wanted to know what I was touching myself to anyway. I actually find it a bit sad that people are so easily able to spy on their children these days. It's like they can't have a life of their own anymore.

But I guess every parent will do what they feel is best for their child. I personally wouldn't tell the ex, either, unless there was something to worry about.

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"they're within range of being able to tell what they're up to so i can keep an eye on them that way."

That's what hubbys ex-wife does also, but you underestimate teenage boys in the pursuit of porn

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The majority of teens have smartphones or access to one, not to mention internet access in their friends' homes too, imagining that you can in any way restrict what your teen can see is beyond naive, far better to be open with them in my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't have kids, but...

When I was a kid my parents got me my own laptop and left me to it. I don't think they would have wanted to know what I was touching myself to anyway. I actually find it a bit sad that people are so easily able to spy on their children these days. It's like they can't have a life of their own anymore.

But I guess every parent will do what they feel is best for their child. I personally wouldn't tell the ex, either, unless there was something to worry about.

-Courtney "

As a parent I agree wholeheartedly, not to mention that excessive control simply makes for a more evasive and secretive teen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"they're within range of being able to tell what they're up to so i can keep an eye on them that way.

That's what hubbys ex-wife does also, but you underestimate teenage boys in the pursuit of porn "

My youngest kids don't seem to be interested in porn yet, plus their internet is on a big TV so i can see everything. They mostly play on ps3 and watch youtube videos of pewdiepie and that kind of stuff.

But one my older sons did try to watch porn on youtube, he did a search for girls kissing.

My oldest son i left him to it really, he was emotionally mature and we could talk about anything that bothered him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't have kids, but...

When I was a kid my parents got me my own laptop and left me to it. I don't think they would have wanted to know what I was touching myself to anyway. I actually find it a bit sad that people are so easily able to spy on their children these days. It's like they can't have a life of their own anymore.

But I guess every parent will do what they feel is best for their child. I personally wouldn't tell the ex, either, unless there was something to worry about.

-Courtney

As a parent I agree wholeheartedly, not to mention that excessive control simply makes for a more evasive and secretive teen."

My kids have no idea I am keeping a watch.. the only time I have no access is when they have been on other wifi...

Thing is these days that plenty of things that may seem mundane but can actually land us as parents in trouble if we are unaware. The advice about the webcams... All of my kids with webcams have tape over them.

I do on occasion read my teenagers chats.... and check they are not doing or saying anything that can land them in trouble.

It isn't a case of spying... its a case of making sure that they are not ending up giving themselves a criminal record. As its not as simple as it was before all this access.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My lord how the other half live are we obsessed with spying ,the internet has created a monster

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My lord how the other half live are we obsessed with spying ,the internet has created a monster "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't have kids, but...

When I was a kid my parents got me my own laptop and left me to it. I don't think they would have wanted to know what I was touching myself to anyway. I actually find it a bit sad that people are so easily able to spy on their children these days. It's like they can't have a life of their own anymore.

But I guess every parent will do what they feel is best for their child. I personally wouldn't tell the ex, either, unless there was something to worry about.

-Courtney

As a parent I agree wholeheartedly, not to mention that excessive control simply makes for a more evasive and secretive teen.

My kids have no idea I am keeping a watch.. the only time I have no access is when they have been on other wifi...

Thing is these days that plenty of things that may seem mundane but can actually land us as parents in trouble if we are unaware. The advice about the webcams... All of my kids with webcams have tape over them.

I do on occasion read my teenagers chats.... and check they are not doing or saying anything that can land them in trouble.

It isn't a case of spying... its a case of making sure that they are not ending up giving themselves a criminal record. As its not as simple as it was before all this access. "

Plus the internet is great for predators i've noticed. Complete anonymity if you want that and you can be whoever you want to project yourself as. Not great for anyone innocent who wants to make friends or have a girlfriend/boyfriend maybe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's a given that lads will look at porn as for the dangers of the internet well that is a different matter. For me growing up we had to get a magazine or a video for porn ha. Its so readily a available now and in fairness some of the music videos these days aren't far off pornographic.

Jesus I sound so old

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't have kids, but...

When I was a kid my parents got me my own laptop and left me to it. I don't think they would have wanted to know what I was touching myself to anyway. I actually find it a bit sad that people are so easily able to spy on their children these days. It's like they can't have a life of their own anymore.

But I guess every parent will do what they feel is best for their child. I personally wouldn't tell the ex, either, unless there was something to worry about.

-Courtney

As a parent I agree wholeheartedly, not to mention that excessive control simply makes for a more evasive and secretive teen.

My kids have no idea I am keeping a watch.. the only time I have no access is when they have been on other wifi...

Thing is these days that plenty of things that may seem mundane but can actually land us as parents in trouble if we are unaware. The advice about the webcams... All of my kids with webcams have tape over them.

I do on occasion read my teenagers chats.... and check they are not doing or saying anything that can land them in trouble.

It isn't a case of spying... its a case of making sure that they are not ending up giving themselves a criminal record. As its not as simple as it was before all this access. "

I still personally don't like it. Saying things are different now is just an excuse. I could have committed tons of crimes with my friends without the help of the Internet. And, as I said, I had the Internet and my own laptop and no one checked up on me. I don't have a record to show for it.

I believe that we should teach children the right principles and, to an extent, allow them to make their own mistakes.

But as I said, each parent has a different style and a different outlook on these things. What is right for you wouldn't be right for someone else, etc.

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't think it's a good idea for teenagers to be looking at hardcore porn but that's just my opinion"

To me it will be one of the big issues in the next ten years. Arguably it already is. The ability for anyone to access violent porn is concerning

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod

over a year ago

My Own Little World

I have Familysafe on my 11yr olds PC, mainly to restrict the hours of use rather than the content. But my elder is over 16 so I leave him to it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't think it's a good idea for teenagers to be looking at hardcore porn but that's just my opinion

To me it will be one of the big issues in the next ten years. Arguably it already is. The ability for anyone to access violent porn is concerning"

I agree the content of some porn is shocking and it's scary to think what affect it is having on some people

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think it's a given that lads will look at porn as for the dangers of the internet well that is a different matter. For me growing up we had to get a magazine or a video for porn ha. Its so readily a available now and in fairness some of the music videos these days aren't far off pornographic.

Jesus I sound so old "

We had friends round for dinner last week, wife commented her oldest (15) seemed to have a runny nose for a long time as uses a box of tissues a week, both hubbys just gave each other the wink

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't have kids, but...

When I was a kid my parents got me my own laptop and left me to it. I don't think they would have wanted to know what I was touching myself to anyway. I actually find it a bit sad that people are so easily able to spy on their children these days. It's like they can't have a life of their own anymore.

But I guess every parent will do what they feel is best for their child. I personally wouldn't tell the ex, either, unless there was something to worry about.

-Courtney

As a parent I agree wholeheartedly, not to mention that excessive control simply makes for a more evasive and secretive teen.

My kids have no idea I am keeping a watch.. the only time I have no access is when they have been on other wifi...

Thing is these days that plenty of things that may seem mundane but can actually land us as parents in trouble if we are unaware. The advice about the webcams... All of my kids with webcams have tape over them.

I do on occasion read my teenagers chats.... and check they are not doing or saying anything that can land them in trouble.

It isn't a case of spying... its a case of making sure that they are not ending up giving themselves a criminal record. As its not as simple as it was before all this access.

I still personally don't like it. Saying things are different now is just an excuse. I could have committed tons of crimes with my friends without the help of the Internet. And, as I said, I had the Internet and my own laptop and no one checked up on me. I don't have a record to show for it.

I believe that we should teach children the right principles and, to an extent, allow them to make their own mistakes.

But as I said, each parent has a different style and a different outlook on these things. What is right for you wouldn't be right for someone else, etc.

-Courtney "

So you would be happy for your child to end up arrested and on the register for simply exchanging photos between gf and bf..... As that is on the increase. It was a big issue brought up at a recent interagency meeting.

Would you really suddenly want the police raiding your home and checking every thing for indecent images.. and that is what anyone under the age of 18 passing photos to each other.. Even bf and g/f now comes under.. Seems mad... But sadly its true.

I look at it the same as my parents would check up to see if I had gone where I said I had. Ie the phone calls to other parents.

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By *uietlyBohemianCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme

I tell my (teenage) kids that the computer takes a screenshot randomly approximately once per minute, and saves it to a location they can't delete, and that I can look back through that if I need to.

Also have discussed with them what they're watching, and that I'm mostly only concerned that they don't do anything involving pictures/webcams or meeting anyone.

It's a fine balance between giving them freedom and responsibility, and protecting them from the kind of things that their filthy parents get up to over the internet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's true by proxy kids can be charged for exchanging images even if they are consenting by proxy of them being underage they can and most likely will be charged with a crime. I think it's about having that honest and open conversation with your children when the time is right and being as factual and straight as possible kids do need education about these things. It's a big and hot topic but it seems to be pushed to one side.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Strangely ironic we are all massive sex addicts lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's true by proxy kids can be charged for exchanging images even if they are consenting by proxy of them being underage they can and most likely will be charged with a crime. I think it's about having that honest and open conversation with your children when the time is right and being as factual and straight as possible kids do need education about these things. It's a big and hot topic but it seems to be pushed to one side. "

Its not like I sit and look at everything... but at random times I will check... and if anything worries me I will bring up something in conversation. My kids are good at talking to me about things... but sometimes no matter what you say.. They will do what they want to do.

I would just rather not get any nasty surprises.

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By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Do you spy on the kids access?

No, I have a good relationship with my teenage boys. Long may continue... I have all their passwords and get a copy of their emails sent to my email. They know it is for their safety, and that i will only access if am worried about something or open something with them there to discuss. They trust me and I trust them. We speak about internet access regularly. I have even spoken (for a laugh) in French/Spanish to some of the older kids they play regularly with on Playstation and are in different countries. We trust each other and there are no subjects we can discuss.

And

Should he tell the ex-wife ?

Yes definitely. It is for the kids safety. And so she has a clue if something is up when they are with her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So you would be happy for your child to end up arrested and on the register for simply exchanging photos between gf and bf..... As that is on the increase. It was a big issue brought up at a recent interagency meeting.

Would you really suddenly want the police raiding your home and checking every thing for indecent images.. and that is what anyone under the age of 18 passing photos to each other.. Even bf and g/f now comes under.. Seems mad... But sadly its true.

I look at it the same as my parents would check up to see if I had gone where I said I had. Ie the phone calls to other parents."

Where did I say I would be happy for my children to be arrested? Please don't devolve the conversation to straw man arguments.

When I was a kid, my parent told me what you just said above. I was made aware of these dangers and of what was illegal. And I didn't do any of it because I was made aware of it. If I had kids I would do the same. I wouldn't check their emails and browser history.

And as I said, I am not telling anyone they shouldn't do it. Parents do what they feel necessary to protect their children. But I can't help feeling a bit sad that children have lost the ability to have their own lives away from their parent's eye.

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hubby has a 13 and a 14 year old boys from 1st marriage - ex wife is paranoid about Internet access but not tech savvy (so boys can easily hide it from her) hubby is a Geek and knows where the bodies will be buried on the Internet , and checks what there are up to once in a blue moon, normal teenage stuff of naked girls (one seems to be into Japanese schoolgirls) etc, nothing dodgy, ex wife would be horrified her young Angels have even seen a naked girl, hubby just says he wished he had internet at 14 as was materbating 6 times a day like every other 14 year old, and tells ex-wife everything is fine

Questions

Do you spy on the kids access

And

Should he tell the ex-wife ?"

i don't think its spy, grooming kids on the Internet is huge and any responsible parent should make sure their kids are safe

i dont tell my ex anything to do with my daugher, if he wants to know he can take more of an interest i her so hard for me to comment on that one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't have kids, but...

When I was a kid my parents got me my own laptop and left me to it. I don't think they would have wanted to know what I was touching myself to anyway. I actually find it a bit sad that people are so easily able to spy on their children these days. It's like they can't have a life of their own anymore.

But I guess every parent will do what they feel is best for their child. I personally wouldn't tell the ex, either, unless there was something to worry about.

-Courtney "

its a parents job to protect their kids

ok porn is no big deal all teenage boys wank to it

but what if they are in chat rooms arranging to meet 13 year old billy for a game of football who turns out to be 57 year old dave with a matress in the back of his van

im sorry but it happens

though giving kids their privacy is a nice idea we dont live in an ideal world

if my teenage daughter was in chat rooms arranging to meet id like to think id taken enough interest in what she was doing to stop it

each to their own though and i by no means think my ways the right or only way but i feel its my responsibility to know what shes doing till shes 18

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't have kids, but...

When I was a kid my parents got me my own laptop and left me to it. I don't think they would have wanted to know what I was touching myself to anyway. I actually find it a bit sad that people are so easily able to spy on their children these days. It's like they can't have a life of their own anymore.

But I guess every parent will do what they feel is best for their child. I personally wouldn't tell the ex, either, unless there was something to worry about.

-Courtney

its a parents job to protect their kids

ok porn is no big deal all teenage boys wank to it

but what if they are in chat rooms arranging to meet 13 year old billy for a game of football who turns out to be 57 year old dave with a matress in the back of his van

im sorry but it happens

though giving kids their privacy is a nice idea we dont live in an ideal world

if my teenage daughter was in chat rooms arranging to meet id like to think id taken enough interest in what she was doing to stop it

each to their own though and i by no means think my ways the right or only way but i feel its my responsibility to know what shes doing till shes 18"

My parents warned me away from chat rooms and about meeting people from the Internet. They told me the dangers. I acted accordingly.

There are different ways of handling things. People who want to check their kids' Internet history can do so. People that would rather use other means can do so. I would use other means.

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Teenagers are far more likely to be pressurised into sexting and sending pictures by their own peers than they are to be groomed by strangers. And they are more likely to be abused by a relative or family friend than a stranger. Which isn't to downplay the dangers of the Internet but I do think the danger is exaggerated.

I'm with Courtney in that education and honesty rather than snooping is the best policy. My parents were incredibly controlling and had no respect of privacy so I learnt to be calculating and secretive, character traits that it subsequently took me years to overcome.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It'd be better to openly discuss the dangers of the internet and trust in their ability to use common sense when browsing.

I would have been insulted to be spied on by my parents. It would have seemed utterly demeaning and a demonstration that they didn't trust me as a person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not sure it's sites they click on that is as much an issue , as the means of chatting - Instagram , snapchat and Facebook.

Some get sucked into posting inappropriate pics for their age and saying inappropriate comments. Plus cyber bullying is a big issue. So I agree with safeguarding and as a parent - you do what you can to safeguard a minor.

Some parents don't seem to care or not realise what their teenagers get up to.

Sarah

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It'd be better to openly discuss the dangers of the internet and trust in their ability to use common sense when browsing.

I would have been insulted to be spied on by my parents. It would have seemed utterly demeaning and a demonstration that they didn't trust me as a person. "

What if you trust their ability to use their common sense and it back fires because it turns out that even after all that talking and warning they didn't use their common sense?

Don't get me wrong I don't think checking is the idea solutions but sometimes it's the only way for some kids

I have three daughters and my eldest and youngest have always been good kids, very sensible and well behaved I never had any reason to doubt or check on them and they never disappointed my judgement

My middle daugher, however was not the same, she was always in trouble and I openly admit I used to check on what she was doing, and often found her with things on her computer and phone that was inappropriate and shouldn't be there

If people see that as snooping and controlling I really don't care, I'd sooner be a snooper than have a child in trouble or worse

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By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"It'd be better to openly discuss the dangers of the internet and trust in their ability to use common sense when browsing.

I would have been insulted to be spied on by my parents. It would have seemed utterly demeaning and a demonstration that they didn't trust me as a person.

What if you trust their ability to use their common sense and it back fires because it turns out that even after all that talking and warning they didn't use their common sense?

Don't get me wrong I don't think checking is the idea solutions but sometimes it's the only way for some kids

I have three daughters and my eldest and youngest have always been good kids, very sensible and well behaved I never had any reason to doubt or check on them and they never disappointed my judgement

My middle daugher, however was not the same, she was always in trouble and I openly admit I used to check on what she was doing, and often found her with things on her computer and phone that was inappropriate and shouldn't be there

If people see that as snooping and controlling I really don't care, I'd sooner be a snooper than have a child in trouble or worse "

--

One of the point you make and that i agree with is that you took the action you thought was appropriate for your middle daughter.

Both my boys are different in personnality and curiosity. With the youngest i discuss things more in depth and more frequently.

At the end of the day, I am their parent and I have to take whatever steps i find necessary to protect them.

However, I am also conscious that i cant be there 24/7 that i have to trust them to make the right choices/use common sense. The same that I trust them to look before cross the road safely in a way.

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

I dint but sister does with hers, she found out her 11 year old daughter had been looking at porn sites.

She handled it well, spoke to her about it being wrong. As it isn't true to life, in future if she is interested in certain topics, my sister will help her to look for things. Ok not the best way but the child is only 11.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for advice - I will pass it on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my 2 are too young to be bothered luckily, but even so, I've got their tablets restricted, safe filtering on for YouTube, and so on.

In the longer term, I might set up one of the raspberry pi's as a dansguardian Web filter to cut out the more unsavoury bits.

As they get older, I'll opt for more " parent talking" time where we can discuss the net etc. and what they see.

frankly, if they choose to view adult content, I'd rather they know that I'll be there not judging if needed, and that it's ok to be open and discuss it.

It's like being naked...DD is at a stage where she's becoming bashful... which is fine. But she's massively more reserved at her mum's, who is big on covering up. Both kids are often naked until at least midday here. nobody bats an eyelid. The only time I'll intervene is going outside in the garden naked in the cold.

equally, "fiddling" is generally a case of " of that's an itch, fine. If it's for fun, also fine, but it's more appropriate to take it upstairs in private.. not a problem, but not in public, ok?"... seems to work fine. communication is the key.

but then, I work in a school, and used to be IT so managed the filters and had to deal with kids viewing inappropriate content... you learn to chill and not over react.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I just say... Porn gives inexperienced young boys an unrealistic and high expectations of sex... If you aren't going to have adult content filters on.. Or 'spye' on your kids... At least be open and frank about porn and 'real' sex and relationships...

All parents do things differently.. And do what they think is best for their children..... No one is right or wrong in this situation...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can I just say... Porn gives inexperienced young boys an unrealistic and high expectations of sex... If you aren't going to have adult content filters on.. Or 'spye' on your kids... At least be open and frank about porn and 'real' sex and relationships...

All parents do things differently.. And do what they think is best for their children..... No one is right or wrong in this situation... "

..

Unrealistic view **

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

i dont have kids but my sister has an 11 year old boy (and a 4 year old girl but she is not so much of a worry at the moment!).

He has an iPhone and an iPad and she has always told him that he has o ldt her know any passwords etc to get onto them and that she will, from time to time, look at what he has been looking at and who he has been chatting to.

To be fair he is very sensible. his school have had lots of talks about internet safety and what to do if someone they dont know tries to talk to them etc.

as far as the ex is concerned i think your partner needs to think how he would feel if she kept something about his children away from him. ok he hasnt found anything yet but would she really be so upset that he was looking out for the safety of his children?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"i dont have kids but my sister has an 11 year old boy (and a 4 year old girl but she is not so much of a worry at the moment!).

He has an iPhone and an iPad and she has always told him that he has o ldt her know any passwords etc to get onto them and that she will, from time to time, look at what he has been looking at and who he has been chatting to.

To be fair he is very sensible. his school have had lots of talks about internet safety and what to do if someone they dont know tries to talk to them etc.

as far as the ex is concerned i think your partner needs to think how he would feel if she kept something about his children away from him. ok he hasnt found anything yet but would she really be so upset that he was looking out for the safety of his children?"

Just how would he explain her top 5 % in school,13 year old Boy Scout choir boy who is making her a cake for Mother's Day likes looking at Japanese schoolgirls (not really schoolgirls they are over 18) that pee there pants ?

Does mum need this information in her life ?

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By *uriousTwosomeCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

Definitely spy!

I know two kids who were groomed online; one was saved as their aunt realised, the other was 'got at' and the guy arrested

I'd rather upset them and keep them safe. As a parent; that's what we are here to do!

Any tips on how I get a search history when used on a mobile phone though?? My kids always on his bloody phone now!!

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"i dont have kids but my sister has an 11 year old boy (and a 4 year old girl but she is not so much of a worry at the moment!).

He has an iPhone and an iPad and she has always told him that he has o ldt her know any passwords etc to get onto them and that she will, from time to time, look at what he has been looking at and who he has been chatting to.

To be fair he is very sensible. his school have had lots of talks about internet safety and what to do if someone they dont know tries to talk to them etc.

as far as the ex is concerned i think your partner needs to think how he would feel if she kept something about his children away from him. ok he hasnt found anything yet but would she really be so upset that he was looking out for the safety of his children?

Just how would he explain her top 5 % in school,13 year old Boy Scout choir boy who is making her a cake for Mother's Day likes looking at Japanese schoolgirls (not really schoolgirls they are over 18) that pee there pants ?

Does mum need this information in her life ?"

In your op you said that it was nothing dodgy so if that's the case then don't say anything about what has been found Hut maybe let her know that he has been able to look at what they are looking St etc for safety.

If he feels the need he could speak to his son about expectations of porn vs the real world maybe.

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By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"

Just how would he explain her top 5 % in school,13 year old Boy Scout choir boy who is making her a cake for Mother's Day likes looking at Japanese schoolgirls (not really schoolgirls they are over 18) that pee there pants ?

Does mum need this information in her life ?"

Don't know the woman but give her some credit!!! I know she's an ex and all that!! But surely she knows boys will be boys kinda thing!!!

In my opinion it is not about trying to explain. He gives her the facts and discuss with her like she's a person that cares about the well being of her kids. Surely she is also interested in their safety online.

How would he feel if she was keeping stuff from him that concerns the safety of the children?? And compromise their safety while in his care??

And she might already know or suspected something.

It is not about her or him it is about giving an information so the kids are safe when they are in her care.

I am a french speaker so i hope this makes sense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So what if they're watching porn? Most 13 & 14 year olds are having more sex than the single guys on fab. I know parents don't like to hear that but they are, I was at 13. My bro did at 13, some girls I was at school with lost their virginity's before leaving primary school.

It's life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My kids are 11 and 8 so I have a vpn set up and can access their laptops whenever I want, I also have parental controls set up.

I offered to set up a vpn at their mums so that she could do the same but she declined...I don't think you can afford to be lapse with kids Internet security

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