FabSwingers.com forum: Am I Overeacting?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Boyfriend lives in a student house and his housemate in the next room likes to play his tv loud enough you can hear it in the garden at stupid o clock in the morning.

I have asked boyfriend if he could ask the neighbour to turn the tv down, but he won't confront him. Boyfriend says if I want it turning down I have to speak to his neighbour, but I don't think its my place to as I don't live there.

There has been occasions I have been up till 5/6 in the morning with the noise getting irate with both boyfriend and his neighbour.

So tonight I was woken up at 2am and boyfriend rolled over and asked what was wrong. I said its your neighbour and he rolled back asleep. I saw red, got dressed and slammed the front door. Then got in car and went for a coffee at maccies.

Im now sitting here fuming at boyfriend as I see it as his fault. The neighbour might not even know his tv is too loud if no onee tells him.

Question is am I overeacting?

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By *ruegent101Man
over a year ago

down by the river side

If it's genuinely annoying you then it's not a overreaction? Maybe your boyfriend just doesn't want confrontation from his neighbour? Although it's only asking someone to turn a tv down hardly asking them something out of the ordinary

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Its been three months now, I had enough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're right, it's not your place to tell the neighbour to turn the TV down because you don't live there. If one of my housemate's partners did that to me I would laugh in their face.

However if one of my housemates asked me to keep the noise down I would genuinely be mortified and would do so immediately.

This is your boyfriend's problem, the housemate probably does not realise how loud their TV is, you get accustomed to a set noise level and they probably don't change it from day time to night time. If your boyfriend does not respect your wishes and speak to his housemate, I would be worried about his respect for you.

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By *ub_liminalTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Belfast

Ask your boyfriend why he's seemingly so reluctant to call to his neighbours house and civily (it doesn't necessarily have to be done in a confrontational or hostile manner) raise the issue.

Unless there's some sort of caveat he hasn't disclosed.

He seems a bit dismissive and self centred. Based on what you've said tbh.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

My minds at peace now, it's hard to think when you're tired.

Yeah, I do think there is a lack of respect there. Even a note under the door asking to turn it down would be a step forward. He's quite happy to watch me get upset

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The neighbour is in the wrong 100%, I don't know about student housing but I know if it was a house in a street & you couldn't sleep due to noise it is illegal after 9pm and you can put in a noise complaint to police.

It's a bit petty but if no one will go say to the noisy fucker then that's an option

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

If he isn't prepared to stand up for you on this, what will he roll over and go back to sleep on in the future.

Maybe you might need to have a discussion regarding your future with him?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sorry to say it but your boyfriends really out of order expecting you to do it. I can't imagine many blokes would want their wives or girlfriends doing

that instead of them and that's even forgetting that as its his place and not yours your technically a guest there.

If I'm honest I'd say he needs to grow a pair and go sort it out for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The neighbour is in the wrong 100%, I don't know about student housing but I know if it was a house in a street & you couldn't sleep due to noise it is illegal after 9pm and you can put in a noise complaint to police.

It's a bit petty but if no one will go say to the noisy fucker then that's an option

The neighbour may not know how noisy they're being? You may think that sounds stupid but if you're accustomed to a certain noise level you don't notice how loud it may be, especially if nobody has pointed it out to you!

I hate to sound horrible but this lady is a guest in the house - she doesn't pay rent. However her boyfriend does pay rent and therefore has the authority to ask his housemate to turn the TV down, she does not. For some reason he is reluctant to do this? That I don't understand!

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Its been three months now, I had enough."

I have some smackheads living below me, they kick off sometimes so you have my full sympathy

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By *otblondewife hornyMrCouple
over a year ago

Cambuslang

Bf sounds like a scared pussy or just doesn't give a toss. I wouldn't be spending the night there either way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/03/16 05:36:42]

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

It's a bit petty but if no one will go say to the noisy fucker then that's an option

She doesn't live there! The neighbour isn't her problem, if she can't sleep she has her own bed.

Her problem is her gutless boyfriend who is prepared to see her upset rather than have a non-confrontational chat with his flatmate.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I'm sorry to say it but your boyfriends really out of order expecting you to do it. I can't imagine many blokes would want their wives or girlfriends doing

that instead of them and that's even forgetting that as its his place and not yours your technically a guest there.

If I'm honest I'd say he needs to grow a pair and go sort it out for you."

Exactly!

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By *.nottsbloke..Man
over a year ago

the vale

Leave him

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Nice boobs... Perhaps he can't hear the TV if his head's buried in your boobage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You could tell bf that you won't be staying at his place unless he speaks to his neighbour about the volume as you are suffering from lack of sleep.

Her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of the worst things about shared housing is when someone has a boyfriend/girlfriend staying over too much.

Regardless of the noise, your bf's housemate pays rent. You don't.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"One of the worst things about shared housing is when someone has a boyfriend/girlfriend staying over too much.

Regardless of the noise, your bf's housemate pays rent. You don't. "

Neither does the girl who was stopping in his neighbours room who spent half the night talking loudly.

Normally I stop weekends as I dont think its fair to other people in the house for me to be there constantly.

Only stopped tonight as its my first night off during the week in some time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One of the worst things about shared housing is when someone has a boyfriend/girlfriend staying over too much.

Regardless of the noise, your bf's housemate pays rent. You don't.

Neither does the girl who was stopping in his neighbours room who spent half the night talking loudly.

On that basis, Then your bf and his housemate should discuss expectations on house guests staying over. i could definitely see his housemate saying that you shouldn't be staying over so much if you're not willing to chip in on rent. He should be reasonable and lower the volume but again, he pays rent so it's up to him.

Normally I stop weekends as I dont think its fair to other people in the house for me to be there constantly.

Only stopped tonight as its my first night off during the week in some time."

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By *enard ArgenteMan
over a year ago

London and France

Perhaps the house mate turns it up because he doesn't want to hear you fucking?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I'd probably not be staying there with him again, if he won't deal with the situation. It's his role and not yours.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you tried a set of ear plugs, available from Boots for a couple of quid?

Sorry if I'm being practical and pragmatic on an approach to the problem.

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By *isa 59Woman
over a year ago

Newcastle

If he was bothered about the noise level then he'd complain about it himself. If he was bothered about you complaining about the noise all the time then he'd do something about that too.

Why deliberately subject yourself to a stressful situation when it's easily avoided? If you don't like things as they are when you stop over, then stop staying over.

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By *irty Girty From No 30Woman
over a year ago

Burbage

"Boyfriend lives in a student house and his housemate in the next room likes to play his tv loud enough you can hear it in the garden at stupid o clock in the morning.

There has been occasions I have been up till 5/6 in the morning with the noise getting irate with both boyfriend and his neighbour.

Im now sitting here fuming at boyfriend as I see it as his fault. The neighbour might not even know his tv is too loud if no onee tells him.

Question is am I overeacting?"

If its you its annoying then dont see why you cant mention it to be honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im with you op your bf should say something xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Perhaps the house mate turns it up because he doesn't want to hear you fucking?"

This is a fair point too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Boyfriend lives in a student house and his housemate in the next room likes to play his tv loud enough you can hear it in the garden at stupid o clock in the morning.

There has been occasions I have been up till 5/6 in the morning with the noise getting irate with both boyfriend and his neighbour.

Im now sitting here fuming at boyfriend as I see it as his fault. The neighbour might not even know his tv is too loud if no onee tells him.

Question is am I overeacting?

If its you its annoying then dont see why you cant mention it to be honest"

She has no right to mention it as she doesn't live there!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Buy some ear plugs.. If that doesn't do the trick, tell your bf that you won't be staying until he has had a quiet word with neighbour.

Or ask him to write a note and you'll post it... If you haven't asked this already.

On the fact he isn't bothered about your lack of sleep.. I would talk to him about mutual respect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If he isn't prepared to stand up for you on this, what will he roll over and go back to sleep on in the future.

Maybe you might need to have a discussion regarding your future with him?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You could tell bf that you won't be staying at his place unless he speaks to his neighbour about the volume as you are suffering from lack of sleep.

Her"

This. I just wouldn't stay over until it's sorted. I lived next door to a nightmare neighbour for 6 months , years Ago, nothing worse than no sleep for that reason. He might sort it then!

Sarah

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Why can't you tell this person to turn the tv down? I would whether I lived there or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're overacting then I'm a full on drama queen. Noisy neighbours are a big bug bear. I've got the number for my local antisocial behaviour team who will come out at 2am if necessary to asses the noise coming from next door. Thankfully haven't heard that dickhead since the last time I yelled at him to shut up.

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By *irceWoman
over a year ago

Gloucester

Had noisy neighbours for years, you have my sympathys also.

Cannot wait for summer here as my neighbours like to have garden party's with heavy bass all day and night...no one will complain as they are local dealers..

Maybe your boyfriend knows of another issue with the neighbour and is trying to avoid confrentation?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why can't you tell this person to turn the tv down? I would whether I lived there or not. "

Have you lived in a house share? There is a certain amount of resentment harboured against people who have boyfriends/girlfriends staying over regularly/for extended periods.

In my old houseshare one of my housemates had his girlfriend living with us for 3 months, she used to tell me when I could and couldn't use the bathroom to shower in the morning. I just rolled my eyes and got on with it but my other housemate exploded at her when she tried to do the same to her. It's not her house, she can't make the rules, why isn't she paying rent if she's here all the time etcetc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Simple solution - don't stay at your boyfriend's place.

In the context of your relationship btw, his lack of concern for your comfort speaks volumes (excuse the pun).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Question is am I overeacting?"

Shared accommodation is difficult, but they need to be able to compromise a bit.

No you're not overreacting.

Tell your boyfriend you aren't staying over any more if you can't sleep at night.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have to laugh at all the men on here kissing ass,

1: you don't pay rent there, if you don't like it dont stay there

2:it doesn't seem to bother your bf so maybe he doesn't want to start an argument with his roommate

3:your issue is really with your bf seeing that he doesn't choose you over his housemate

4:maybe the housemate is half deaf or moans really loud whilst pulling himself off so needs the TV up loud...

Anyhoo my advice DONT STAY THERE

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1) you don't live there, so hush.

2) buy some ear plugs

You're welcome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If he was bothered about the noise level then he'd complain about it himself. If he was bothered about you complaining about the noise all the time then he'd do something about that too.

Why deliberately subject yourself to a stressful situation when it's easily avoided? If you don't like things as they are when you stop over, then stop staying over. "

Exactly this!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If he doesn't want to speak to his housemate - which could be for a reason, like he thinks it'll kick off - then either suck it up and get some earplugs or just don't stay over. No need for the drama and sleepless nights, you don't live there so don't stay.

When I was in shared houses, if someone who stayed over rent free every weekend had tried to complain about something to do with the house, they would have been told where to go.

I'm sympathetic to the noisy neighbour angle, I absolutely hate people who keep others awake, but there's a very simple solution to this.

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