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Worst chat up lines

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

'Your eyes are like a swamp, I want to get stuck in them.'

Yes my eyes are greeny/brown, but they are not 'swamp' coloured. It may work for someone with blue eyes 'Your eyes are so blue I want to dive right in and swim in them'... cheesy but workable, but swamp?!! Hahahha

Come on ladies and gents, hit me with your worst, I want a giggle!

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"I just shit my pants. Can I get in yours?"

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By *heclitmaster84Man
over a year ago

Huddersfield


"'Your eyes are like a swamp, I want to get stuck in them.'

Yes my eyes are greeny/brown, but they are not 'swamp' coloured. It may work for someone with blue eyes 'Your eyes are so blue I want to dive right in and swim in them'... cheesy but workable, but swamp?!! Hahahha

Come on ladies and gents, hit me with your worst, I want a giggle!"
you got 10 pence why to phone home and tell your not coming home lol x

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By *heclitmaster84Man
over a year ago

Huddersfield

That dress would look good on my bedroom floor lol x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"'Your eyes are like a swamp, I want to get stuck in them.'

Yes my eyes are greeny/brown, but they are not 'swamp' coloured. It may work for someone with blue eyes 'Your eyes are so blue I want to dive right in and swim in them'... cheesy but workable, but swamp?!! Hahahha

Come on ladies and gents, hit me with your worst, I want a giggle! you got 10 pence why to phone home and tell your not coming home lol x"

Hahahaha that's brilliant but I'd be so busy with trying to find a phone box (do they even exist these days?!) that the line would go straight over my head!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you like tapes and CDs?

Good, because I'm going to tape my dick to your forehead so you can see deez nutz.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Do you like tapes and CDs?

Good, because I'm going to tape my dick to your forehead so you can see deez nutz."

If someone used that line on me I'd be theirs for the night! Hahahha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You would be among the few, not a bad thing though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your eyes are like spanners, every time I look at them my nuts tighten

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would you like to come back to mine for some cheese?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Would you like to come back to mine for some cheese?"

Yes

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By *alnsanCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

You want to tussle with the cheesy muscle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you like Imagine Dragons?

Imagine me dragging my balls across your face.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Would you like to come back to mine for some cheese?

Yes "

Yes!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Would you like to come back to mine for some cheese?

Yes "

Cheese is life, hit me with some good blue Roquefort and I'm yours

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Your eyes are like spanners, every time I look at them my nuts tighten

"

Hahaha that's been used on me before!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

More a planned action than a line

Walk by a woman and stroke their hair as you pass. Stop, apologise.

" just your hair looks so lovely I just had to touch it "

40% she slaps ur face calling u a psycho.

40% her boyfriend ( who is always 6'6" and Mr universe) tells you he will kill you OR just punch you out straight.

20% she laughs smiles and you get chatting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you believe in Karma ? Because I know some good Karma sutra positions. X

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By *obwithkiltMan
over a year ago

Belton

i once wore a t-shirt with a hand painted animal on the front.....i walked right up to a young lady who had been eyeing me up for some time and said "wanna go and talk about pigs?" And pointed to the shirt i blame youth and alcohol....best bit is it actually worked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you believe in love at first sight? No? Well close your eyes and look again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know why I'm like a squirrel? Because I wanna bury my nuts in you. X

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"i once wore a t-shirt with a hand painted animal on the front.....i walked right up to a young lady who had been eyeing me up for some time and said "wanna go and talk about pigs?" And pointed to the shirt i blame youth and alcohol....best bit is it actually worked "

Pigs are super cute!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you instead?

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By *obwithkiltMan
over a year ago

Belton


"i once wore a t-shirt with a hand painted animal on the front.....i walked right up to a young lady who had been eyeing me up for some time and said "wanna go and talk about pigs?" And pointed to the shirt i blame youth and alcohol....best bit is it actually worked

Pigs are super cute!"

They are but all i can think of when i see one is......BACON

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By *obwithkiltMan
over a year ago

Belton


"I've lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you instead? "

You are quite welcome..i'm nearly as furry

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"i once wore a t-shirt with a hand painted animal on the front.....i walked right up to a young lady who had been eyeing me up for some time and said "wanna go and talk about pigs?" And pointed to the shirt i blame youth and alcohol....best bit is it actually worked

Pigs are super cute!

They are but all i can think of when i see one is......BACON "

I'm genuinely on my way to McDonald's right now to buy a cheesy bacon burger, pigs are great

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By *o30Woman
over a year ago

Lincoln

If we were the alphabet I'd put U & I together :

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once had a guy sing 'Sit on my face, and tell me that you love me' to some obscure opera tune...quite funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you hear what scientists are saying?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you like tapes and CDs?

Good, because I'm going to tape my dick to your forehead so you can see deez nutz."

That is actually hilarious .... Someone said that to me and they will have my attention

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This line must not be as awful as I initially thought

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By *heclitmaster84Man
over a year ago

Huddersfield

Baby I want to wear you like a pair of sun glasses, one leg over each ear.

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

Do you like fruit?

Then suck my cock, it's a peach.....

Yes, someone seriously once tried that!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"This line must not be as awful as I initially thought "

Woaaahhhhhgh I've just seen a little something?!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did you see?

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By *heclitmaster84Man
over a year ago

Huddersfield

Do you know Candice? (Candice who?) Candice dick fit in your mouth?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm no weather man but I suspect you're getting a few inches tonight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you know Candice? (Candice who?) Candice dick fit in your mouth?

"

That's bad .... But I like it lol

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By *heclitmaster84Man
over a year ago

Huddersfield


"Do you know Candice? (Candice who?) Candice dick fit in your mouth?

That's bad .... But I like it lol "
i know lol x got loads lol

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By *rBBMrsLDCouple
over a year ago

Seaford


"This line must not be as awful as I initially thought

Woaaahhhhhgh I've just seen a little something?!!! "

Lol know what you've seen

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By *heclitmaster84Man
over a year ago

Huddersfield

"My magical watch says you're not wearing any panties...oh, you are? Damn, it must be an hour fast

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you know Candice? (Candice who?) Candice dick fit in your mouth?

That's bad .... But I like it lol i know lol x got loads lol"

If it makes me laugh it can be absolutely shameful and will still do the job

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you hear what scientists are saying?

There's only going to be seven planets after I destroy your anus.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you hear what scientists are saying?

There's only going to be seven planets after I destroy your anus."

Ha!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you hear what scientists are saying?

There's only going to be seven planets after I destroy your anus."

OMG

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Do you hear what scientists are saying?

There's only going to be seven planets after I destroy your anus."

You've got quite the repertoire hahahaha

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By *o30Woman
over a year ago

Lincoln

This one was said rather recently...

Him - I wanna destroy you

My reply - I'd rather stay alive thanks

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"This one was said rather recently...

Him - I wanna destroy you

My reply - I'd rather stay alive thanks "

Hahaha quick thinking! I would've floundered and probably asked him why

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People my age are stupidly creative.

What's the difference between jam and jelly?

I can't jelly my dick in your ass.

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By *ildbillkidMan
over a year ago

where the road goes on forever

Are you tired? You've been walking around in my dreams , did you hurt yourself , when you fell from heaven

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"People my age are stupidly creative.

What's the difference between jam and jelly?

I can't jelly my dick in your ass."

I'm genuinely crying! I'm only 4 years older than you and the best I can think of is, 'let me sit on your lap and we’ll talk about the first thing that pops up'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People my age are stupidly creative.

What's the difference between jam and jelly?

I can't jelly my dick in your ass."

I think u need to start giving lessons lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"People my age are stupidly creative.

What's the difference between jam and jelly?

I can't jelly my dick in your ass.

I think u need to start giving lessons lol "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got an old school one here:

Are you a washing machine?

Because I want to fill you with my dirty load.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People my age are stupidly creative.

What's the difference between jam and jelly?

I can't jelly my dick in your ass."

Except that has been around years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Got an old school one here:

Are you a washing machine?

Because I want to fill you with my dirty load."

I just lost your touch lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*u just

(Damn iPhone)

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By *heclitmaster84Man
over a year ago

Huddersfield

You’re like my little toe, because I’m going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Got an old school one here:

Are you a washing machine?

Because I want to fill you with my dirty load.

I just lost your touch lol"

Oh how the great fall hahhaha

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By *heclitmaster84Man
over a year ago

Huddersfield

You know why they call me the cat whisperer? Cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.

?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All good things must come to an end.

One last one.

Do you like outdoor sex?

It's fucking in tents.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You know why they call me the cat whisperer? Cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.

?

"

Giving Carter a run for his money now lol game on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"All good things must come to an end.

One last one.

Do you like outdoor sex?

It's fucking in tents."

killed it ... Literally!!

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By *heclitmaster84Man
over a year ago

Huddersfield

You’re like Pringles once I pop you, I can’t stop you.

?

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By *heclitmaster84Man
over a year ago

Huddersfield

What’ll you say we make like Winnie-the-poo and I can get my nose stuck in your honey jar.

?

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