FabSwingers.com forum: Would I be wrong........

By *oxy_minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Ok, men complain so many times about non response to messages sent, and women complain (I am a prime example) that I can't do my own searching due to most males profiles being shite and only having the odd cock pic if they have a pic at all.

I'm trying to decide, as I currently just ignore 95% of my messages due to the profile being shite.

Would you just prefer if I replied to all of them with the truth such as sorry shit profile not interested etc

Or would I get reported and risk being expelled?

As you can guess, yes I am in frustrated state of mind and body bordering on the 6 months without anything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think honesty is best - if you think my profile is crap tell me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd prefer to be told.

That way I could do something about it and hopefully the next person will like the improvements.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hardly send msgs and I never look in the send folder lol.

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Tell them their profile is shit in a diplomatic way

Instead of saying you ugly minger you can say not my type

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I did go through a period where I 'converted' cock-pic profiles, through persuasion and flattery, to change their avatars.

Got about a dozen done before I became bored and put off by the European Cock Pic Mountain that is Fab.

I tried.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree I would prefer honesty , Would mean I could change something about it.Nothing worse when you think it's fine as no one tell's you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just do that then you'd be blocked and they'd no longer pop up on your search

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know I'm not a man, but I think it's unnecessary. Just because you think they're shit, doesn't mean they think they're shit, or that they are in fact shit. I don't see what's to be gained.

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

I tend not to reply. The times I have, it didn't go well and even resulted in some nasty abuse. X

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By *shtonwpMan
over a year ago

Lincoln

Just reply in a nice way best way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As much as I appreciate a 'no thanks', I'd say don't bother. A lot of my friends on here always get follow up messages asking why you're not their type before being harassed when you don't humour them.

You're not obligated to reply to anyone, nor justify your 'no'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I did go through a period where I 'converted' cock-pic profiles, through persuasion and flattery, to change their avatars.

Got about a dozen done before I became bored and put off by the European Cock Pic Mountain that is Fab.

I tried. "

Ive done this before too and same result xx

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Occasionally I'll give a reason, such as my profile say (whatever), so they obviously haven't read it or decided to ignore it.

The majority of the time, when I give a reason (without being rude, just direct and honest), it's not well received.

A straight no thanks, or ignore is best, I find.

Guy say they don't like being ignored but ultimately, they dislike being turned down just as much. So, unless the response is a yes please, you can't win.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be nice. Let us down gently. Better than nothing sometimes

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Bizarrely, I still get messages from men who apologise for their avatar in their message, suggesting that they have read my profile, have seen the bit about ignoring people with cock avatars and have decided to ignore it.

That I just cannot understand.

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By *oxy_minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"I know I'm not a man, but I think it's unnecessary. Just because you think they're shit, doesn't mean they think they're shit, or that they are in fact shit. I don't see what's to be gained. "

I wasn't wanting or expecting just men to reply to this post. I wouldn't say sorry I think you are a minger or anything too obnoxious etc, but I currently do ignore 95% of my messages because they only have a one line profile and the cock pic or I get spoken to like a prostitute, so sometimes I do reply with 'phone a prostitute'. I am thick skinned and could handle the abuse or just block if necessary, I was just interested if people would want to know the truth as I do (if I do feel in the mood) give out profile advise if asked to and I have been commended for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reply nicely or not at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most men just don't want to feel ignored and yes brusing the male ego can have interesting results but most of the more evolved ones are trying always to be better. For hundreds of years men were told that they own women and women had very little agency. Times have changed give the boys a chance to be better.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

If it'll help you FM, then I'd create a standard text response that you could paste and send to them. Keep it simple, focusing on what you'd prefer to see in a profile and non-derogatory, if feasible.

You may open the floodgates to a deluge of replies, where they probably haven't still complied with your interests though, so tread cautiously.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My suggestion- ignore the rude messages.

Compose a message to say hello and give something for them to reply to.

Perhaps along the lines of "Hey thanks for your mail. Tell me more about you."

Send it to all the ones that are friendly or even say "hi" -even if their profile is shit.

See how they respond. Some men are just as banal as their shit profile. Some however are perfectly lovely and just don't know what to say in their profile.

You might find a diamond.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I say they are not my type. If the persist in knowing why I may give profile critique.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"My suggestion- ignore the rude messages.

Compose a message to say hello and give something for them to reply to.

Perhaps along the lines of "Hey thanks for your mail. Tell me more about you."

Send it to all the ones that are friendly or even say "hi" -even if their profile is shit.

See how they respond. Some men are just as banal as their shit profile. Some however are perfectly lovely and just don't know what to say in their profile.

You might find a diamond.

This is so true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they're that bad, then I usually reply with "Sorry but there's nothing on your Profile to interest me..." and leave it at that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a guy I'm aware that its really the women in control on here - for every female or couples profile there's probably around a hundred single guys.

From the forums its pretty clear that single women and couples have their inbox inundated with messages from single guys so I rarely send a first contact message - most single women and couples seem comfortable searching for and contacting single guys who catch their eye

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By *oxy_minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"My suggestion- ignore the rude messages.

Compose a message to say hello and give something for them to reply to.

Perhaps along the lines of "Hey thanks for your mail. Tell me more about you."

Send it to all the ones that are friendly or even say "hi" -even if their profile is shit.

See how they respond. Some men are just as banal as their shit profile. Some however are perfectly lovely and just don't know what to say in their profile.

You might find a diamond.

I might just give that a try then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok, men complain so many times about non response to messages sent, and women complain (I am a prime example) that I can't do my own searching due to most males profiles being shite and only having the odd cock pic if they have a pic at all.

I'm trying to decide, as I currently just ignore 95% of my messages due to the profile being shite.

Would you just prefer if I replied to all of them with the truth such as sorry shit profile not interested etc

Or would I get reported and risk being expelled?

As you can guess, yes I am in frustrated state of mind and body bordering on the 6 months without anything

"
the truth hurts so tell me lies every time

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By *oxy_minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"most single women and couples seem comfortable searching for and contacting single guys who catch their eye"

You missed my point of trying to search for myself but when most only have a profile that has 'here for fun with women and couples'

There's not anything there for me to try or even want to contact them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would you be ok for someone to decline you by saying something about your profile or photos?

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By *oxy_minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"Would you be ok for someone to decline you by saying something about your profile or photos? "

Of course I would - nobody is to everyone's taste

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"most single women and couples seem comfortable searching for and contacting single guys who catch their eye

You missed my point of trying to search for myself but when most only have a profile that has 'here for fun with women and couples'

There's not anything there for me to try or even want to contact them! "

All I can say is keep on searching, you could try messaging someone who catches your eye physically and ask them to tell you more about themselves?

Could lead to some interesting reads if nothing else?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you'd need to clarify why it was shit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven't messaged anyone on this site in a long time

alot of guys don't know what to write don't mean they don't have a personality or aren't interesting. People are more than a little profile

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By *oxy_minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"most single women and couples seem comfortable searching for and contacting single guys who catch their eye

You missed my point of trying to search for myself but when most only have a profile that has 'here for fun with women and couples'

There's not anything there for me to try or even want to contact them!

All I can say is keep on searching, you could try messaging someone who catches your eye physically and ask them to tell you more about themselves?

Could lead to some interesting reads if nothing else?"

When you've only got a cock pic to go on????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"most single women and couples seem comfortable searching for and contacting single guys who catch their eye

You missed my point of trying to search for myself but when most only have a profile that has 'here for fun with women and couples'

There's not anything there for me to try or even want to contact them!

All I can say is keep on searching, you could try messaging someone who catches your eye physically and ask them to tell you more about themselves?

Could lead to some interesting reads if nothing else?

When you've only got a cock pic to go on????

Your kind of toilet in the background?

I'm clutching at straws here...maybe club meets are the way forward in your area?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just delete if they're rude,insulting or, clearly haven't read my profile properly.

I send a polite reply to others..

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"I know I'm not a man, but I think it's unnecessary. Just because you think they're shit, doesn't mean they think they're shit, or that they are in fact shit. I don't see what's to be gained. "

This

In my view its only going to lead to hassle and more than likely a shed load of abuse as you're going to ruffle feathers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I tend not to reply. The times I have, it didn't go well and even resulted in some nasty abuse. X"

I agree I used to reply to all with polite refusals or provide advice on a bare profile but it resulted in abusive messages and hassle in return so now I just delete (which I hate to do because i know it must be frustrating)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm trying to decide, as I currently just ignore 95% of my messages due to the profile being shite.

Would you just prefer if I replied to all of them with the truth such as sorry shit profile not interested etc

Or would I get reported and risk being expelled?

As you can guess, yes I am in frustrated state of mind and body bordering on the 6 months without anything

"
easy option is to block all single men. Look for the ones you want to meet and pm them. They can then reply .. I think

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By *oxy_minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I'm trying to decide, as I currently just ignore 95% of my messages due to the profile being shite.

Would you just prefer if I replied to all of them with the truth such as sorry shit profile not interested etc

Or would I get reported and risk being expelled?

As you can guess, yes I am in frustrated state of mind and body bordering on the 6 months without anything

easy option is to block all single men. Look for the ones you want to meet and pm them. They can then reply .. I think"

You quite clearly missed part of my post so I will make it easy for you and C&P

'I can't do my own searching due to most males profiles being shite and only having the odd cock pic if they have a pic at all.'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My suggestion- ignore the rude messages.

Compose a message to say hello and give something for them to reply to.

Perhaps along the lines of "Hey thanks for your mail. Tell me more about you."

Send it to all the ones that are friendly or even say "hi" -even if their profile is shit.

See how they respond. Some men are just as banal as their shit profile. Some however are perfectly lovely and just don't know what to say in their profile.

You might find a diamond.

I might just give that a try then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My suggestion- ignore the rude messages.

Compose a message to say hello and give something for them to reply to.

Perhaps along the lines of "Hey thanks for your mail. Tell me more about you."

Send it to all the ones that are friendly or even say "hi" -even if their profile is shit.

See how they respond. Some men are just as banal as their shit profile. Some however are perfectly lovely and just don't know what to say in their profile.

You might find a diamond.

This. I've been surprised sometimes by the difference once you get chatting - to their profile.

Sarah

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My suggestion- ignore the rude messages.

Compose a message to say hello and give something for them to reply to.

Perhaps along the lines of "Hey thanks for your mail. Tell me more about you."

Send it to all the ones that are friendly or even say "hi" -even if their profile is shit.

See how they respond. Some men are just as banal as their shit profile. Some however are perfectly lovely and just don't know what to say in their profile.

You might find a diamond.

This. I've been surprised sometimes by the difference once you get chatting - to their profile.

Sarah "
exactly the profile isn't the person ,personality can't be accurately gauged from text

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think an honest reflection, would in some cases be met with respect. However I fear most would take it badly.

That said if it provokes conversation then surely it's better than deafening silence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd prefer to be told.

That way I could do something about it and hopefully the next person will like the improvements."

But what if the next person thought the improvements were shit and would have preferred the old one?

It's impossible to please everyone, that way lies madness....

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

"I'd prefer to be told.

That way I could do something about it and hopefully the next person will like the improvements.

But what if the next person thought the improvements were shit and would have preferred the old one?

It's impossible to please everyone, that way lies madness...."

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Ok, men complain so many times about non response to,?ages sent, and women complain (I am a prime example) that I can't do my own searching due to most males profiles being shite and only having the odd cock pic if they have a pic at all.

I'm trying to decide, as I currently just ignore 95% of my messages due to the profile being shite.

Would you just prefer if I replied to all of them with the truth such as sorry shit profile not interested etc

Or would I get reported and risk being expelled?

As you can guess, yes I am in frustrated state of mind and body bordering on the 6 months without anything

I know this is aimed at men, but what would be the point? You may find their profile shite another will find it a modern work of literature.

Do you seriously lack something to do that you'd waste your time on people that don't interest you?

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I know I'm not a man, but I think it's unnecessary. Just because you think they're shit, doesn't mean they think they're shit, or that they are in fact shit. I don't see what's to be gained. "

In a nutshell!

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By *aeriequeenWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

I'm trying to decide, as I currently just ignore 95% of my messages due to the profile being shite.

Would you just prefer if I replied to all of them with the truth such as sorry shit profile not interested etc

Or would I get reported and risk being expelled?

As you can guess, yes I am in frustrated state of mind and body bordering on the 6 months without anything

easy option is to block all single men. Look for the ones you want to meet and pm them. They can then reply .. I think

You quite clearly missed part of my post so I will make it easy for you and C&P

'I can't do my own searching due to most males profiles being shite and only having the odd cock pic if they have a pic at all.'"

You must have been incredibly unlucky then. Yes there's alot of cock pic profiles but there are many substantial ones too. Many of which frequent these forums

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm trying to decide, as I currently just ignore 95% of my messages due to the profile being shite.

Would you just prefer if I replied to all of them with the truth such as sorry shit profile not interested etc

Or would I get reported and risk being expelled?

As you can guess, yes I am in frustrated state of mind and body bordering on the 6 months without anything

Interesting!!!!! I prefer profiles with some substance. However if a person with a vague or non existent profile messages me I generally give a polite no thanks. I think if they think their profile is OK and you don't, I wouldn't deliberately say it's "shit". Sometimes tact goes along way xx

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By *rishman75Man
over a year ago

Chessington/epsom

Tell the truth xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As much as I appreciate a 'no thanks', I'd say don't bother. A lot of my friends on here always get follow up messages asking why you're not their type before being harassed when you don't humour them.

You're not obligated to reply to anyone, nor justify your 'no'"

I argue with myself on the one for the reasons you say. A polite 'No thank you you are not for me but happy fabbing' can easily go either way. I often get a polite 'Thanks, you too!' But then the other scale it. Can become really nasty and awkward.

If someone has taken the time with a really nice message - I do reply but if it's a 'come and fuck me now' one. I just delete and hope they are not too offended.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've set my profile up to not receive messages and do the searching myself. There are so many rubbish profiles it is quite hard to find suitable people but they do stand out more when you eventually find them.

I used to receive messages but got fed up with idiots and abuse for a polite no thanks although I did eventually start blocking after a no thanks and I'd usually say why. As long as you're polite about it then I can't see the problem, at least they're not left wondering why you've blocked/ignored.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would just carry on and ignore the messages that don't interest you.

I know that if someone messaged me to tell me what was wrong with my profile, I would tell them, in no uncertain terms, where to go. With that in mind, I wouldn't do it to anyone else.

I have no guilt over ignoring messages, I have no angst over people ignoring more either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Six months? Without a single non-crap message from a halfway decent guy? Blimey - and I thought I had trouble on Fab! Rest assured, if you weren't several hundreds of miles away, I'd have tried to redress the balance a little...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm trying to decide, as I currently just ignore 95% of my messages due to the profile being shite.

Would you just prefer if I replied to all of them with the truth such as sorry shit profile not interested etc

Or would I get reported and risk being expelled?

As you can guess, yes I am in frustrated state of mind and body bordering on the 6 months without anything

easy option is to block all single men. Look for the ones you want to meet and pm them. They can then reply .. I think

You quite clearly missed part of my post so I will make it easy for you and C&P

'I can't do my own searching due to most males profiles being shite and only having the odd cock pic if they have a pic at all.'"

*most*

If they're that bad and you're clearly not finding what you want maybe you should take a break and try again in a few months.

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