FabSwingers.com forum: Flirting that's as subtle as a brick...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The gym is my temple. The spa is my sanctuary.

Tonight in the sauna a man thought it was funny to pour ice water all over my leg and then laugh. I laughed, but it wasn't funny, and I laid back down on my (now very wet) towel. Then he poured ice water all over my other leg and my crotch. "You looked hot" he said grinning.

"You're a cunt" I shouted at him at the top of my lungs, just six inches from his face. I've never seen a man look quite so shocked. "You can't call me that" he said.

I reported him for sexual assault to the duty manager. He has had his membership removed.

Why am I sharing this? Because sometimes we have threads where this kind of behaviour is occasionally described as "banter" or "flirting". And I wanted to just say that no, this behaviour is actually quite upsetting and unsettling. And now I'm paying £40 a month for a gym membership that I'm nervous to use in case it happens again...

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I'd carry on going. The duty manager clearly took it seriously. He was an arse but probably a one-off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

totally inappropriate behaviour and a sex pest if true (and I have no reason to doubt you). Sounds like a suitable punishment but really? What part of that sort of behaviour would even remotely be deemed acceptable!?

What are some people thinking!?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guy was an arse hole. ...gotta be an isolated incident !!

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By *r H and Good PetCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Fucking hell what a twat.

I'm glad you could report it and something got done about it.

Yeah, that shit is not cute or attractive...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm with you op defo unwanted sexual harassment! Don't feel nervous about returning I'm sure you will be well looked after as a valued member x

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Glad you reported it.

I'm pretty sure he'd have been wearing the bucket on his nuts if that had been me. Well done for just shouting at him.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

What are some people thinking!? "

They're desperate to get the attention of someone they find attractive but don't have any social skills.

Basically they aren't thinking. If they could think, they'd have a chance of trying to start a conversation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh my that's so bad! Can't believe theres still people that think they can get away with this behaviour.

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By *anklerMan
over a year ago

Suffolk

That's going way way too far.

There is flirting and then there is being a dick.

He sounds like a dick.

I'd never do that to anyone I didn't know

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Invasion of space is uncalled for, this went way beyond that. The guy deserves to be banned

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I wouldn't consider that flirting either.

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By *irceWoman
over a year ago

Gloucester

Had issues like that at work...no one believes you and then you are made to feel like it's your fault

Good on you reporting tho.

It will take time to get back to normal but hang on in x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good for you op , and sorry you had to suffer that

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I wouldn't say that's flirting at all. What a twat. You absolutely done the right thing. You would have thought he would have got the message to after you gave him a mouth full!!!!

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I've experienced similar though not in the same environment and not in such a sexually explicit manner.

I was working in a factory during the summer break from university. I was on a production line with 2 other young female students.

One of the apes that worked there was cleaning down an adjacent area and decided it would be funny to swing the hose round and soak our feet and lower legs. He was in overalls and heavy work boots. We, being temps on light duties, were in jeans and trainers.

He was trying to get our attention, again as a shit attempt at flirting.

We had several hours of our shift left and we were in a chilly factory, handling frozen products, in wet jeans and soaked trainers.

I went a bit ballistic. Having yelled at him thoroughly and having been told to calm down because it was only a joke and I should get a sense of humour, I made a formal complaint with the supervisor.

The guy was reprimanded but he apparently could not understand why I didn't think his little "joke" was funny.

I was tempted to pour iced water into his boots, (rigger style, leather, so they'd have held it nicely), to see if he found that half as funny.

Some people just have no social skills and no bloody sense.

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By *oward1978Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

Some guys never cease to amaze. What an arsehole

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What are some people thinking!?

They're desperate to get the attention of someone they find attractive but don't have any social skills.

Basically they aren't thinking. If they could think, they'd have a chance of trying to start a conversation. "

What's even worse is that 10 or 15 minutes before he'd been making polite conversation with me and my partner in the steam room. You know, the kind of nonsense stuff that doesn't mean anything. I had been sitting there with my arm around my partner (actually because I have an elbow injury and laying it across his shoulders was the only way to comfortably keep it straight!) before my partner had got up and said 'I'm going to go and get changed, are you going in the sauna?' to which I'd said yes.

Not that it would have been excusable if I'd been there alone - but it's almost like he took advantage of my partner not being around...

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

What are some people thinking!?

They're desperate to get the attention of someone they find attractive but don't have any social skills.

Basically they aren't thinking. If they could think, they'd have a chance of trying to start a conversation.

Not that it would have been excusable if I'd been there alone - but it's almost like he took advantage of my partner not being around..."

Some people are throwbacks to a less evolved time.

He knows now his behaviour wasn't appreciated. He may think twice next time.

I'm glad you complained and it was taken seriously.

I doubt the gym want people like that there either.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Some people are throwbacks to a less evolved time.

He knows now his behaviour wasn't appreciated. He may think twice next time.

I'm glad you complained and it was taken seriously.

I doubt the gym want people like that there either."

Yeah the duty manager was lovely. I used to duty manage a centre so I know that his kind of thing is taken very, very seriously.

Nobody should feel like they don't belong at a council / general purpose leisure centre. (Nobody should feel like they don't belong at *any* gym, but obviously private gyms have less obligation to be welcoming and open to all).

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

If that is flirting, then I have never flirted with anyone, ever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you don't go back he has won even though he's been booted out.

You are winning so carry on. Hopefully an isolated incident so get back on the horse! (Or sauna so to speak)

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

That's awful

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