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Penis noise...

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By *irtyGirl OP   Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

A random thought popped into my head whilst in the forum chatroom tonight...

Does spunk make a noise when it exits the penis?

I'm not talking about the wanking noise of the hand moving the penis or the vocal noises from said wanker, but the actual spunk leaving the bell end... does it make a spurting noise and then a splat or does it just exist quietly and make a noise against whatever it hits?

Or is it silent?

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By *irtyGirl OP   Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Exit!

I got over excited.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

It must make a noise but maybe only bats can hear it.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Exit!

I got over excited. "

I quite liked 'exist'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you not heard it squeak lol

or Penis Farts like a washing up bottle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think all the little sperm shout freeeeedom!!!! as they pop out the end

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm now imagining a sort of splooge noise, like when icing gets a bit stuck in a piping bag, or mayonnaise out of a top down tube bottle.

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By *oward1978Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

My spunk is silent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OK so now i am going to have to watch porn on silent while i wank, just in case it makes a noise.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Has anyone got a penis handy? Record the noise, turn the volume up to 11 and tell us what you hear, please.

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester


"I think all the little sperm shout freeeeedom!!!! as they pop out the end "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It quacks

But it doesn't echo

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By *irtyGirl OP   Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"Has anyone got a penis handy? Record the noise, turn the volume up to 11 and tell us what you hear, please. "

This!!

Thanking the wankers in advance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a penis recording on my phone right now as it happens. I have re-listened, and can't pin point the moment of ejection.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But that may be because I was distracted by vocals and squelches

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By *is_irtygirlWoman
over a year ago

Dublin

And i thought fanny farts were just for women now we ve cocks that lierally doodle-do!!!!

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"But that may be because I was distracted by vocals and squelches "

You need to get a techy to run one of those programmes that cleans up the sound. Although it sounds like you might need some cleaning up, you hussy. Who has a recording of cumming on their phone?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Has anyone got a penis handy? Record the noise, turn the volume up to 11 and tell us what you hear, please.

This!!

Thanking the wankers in advance. "

I could get this experiment over quicker if I get sent some pictures.

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By *oward1978Man
over a year ago

Rotherham


"But that may be because I was distracted by vocals and squelches "

Who is it...Justin Bieber?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Has anyone got a penis handy? Record the noise, turn the volume up to 11 and tell us what you hear, please.

This!!

Thanking the wankers in advance.

I could get this experiment over quicker if I get sent some pictures. "

Flowers or kittens?

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By *irtyGirl OP   Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"Has anyone got a penis handy? Record the noise, turn the volume up to 11 and tell us what you hear, please.

This!!

Thanking the wankers in advance.

I could get this experiment over quicker if I get sent some pictures. "

Get on with it then!

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

Are you thinking something like ketchup leaving a squeezy bottle?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have Ninja sperm, it is totally silent

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

If you've had the snip would the noise be different?

DG, you're to blame if I can't sleep tonight trying to work out how this all works.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine quacks like a duck.

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By *irtyGirl OP   Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"If you've had the snip would the noise be different?

DG, you're to blame if I can't sleep tonight trying to work out how this all works.

"

Well it tastes different so why wouldn't it sound different?

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"If you've had the snip would the noise be different?

DG, you're to blame if I can't sleep tonight trying to work out how this all works.

Well it tastes different so why wouldn't it sound different? "

That makes sense. Smokers would sound phlegm-y then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But that may be because I was distracted by vocals and squelches

You need to get a techy to run one of those programmes that cleans up the sound. Although it sounds like you might need some cleaning up, you hussy. Who has a recording of cumming on their phone? "

I know, I'm appalled at myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if a man wanks in the woods does anyone hear ?

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I'm now imagining the noise you get when trying to squeeze the last bit of ketchup out of a plastic tomato thingummybob. Or the little puff of air you get from the optician's bulby thing if it's jizz number three or four in a short space of time.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"But that may be because I was distracted by vocals and squelches

You need to get a techy to run one of those programmes that cleans up the sound. Although it sounds like you might need some cleaning up, you hussy. Who has a recording of cumming on their phone?

I know, I'm appalled at myself "

21 years ago (when you were a wee thing) my partner at that time recorded us one night and included it in the soundtrack of one of his songs.

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By *ub_liminalTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Belfast

Depends how big the opening of the urethra is, how much air can get in ..

Vaginal queefs are basically trapped air that has been pumped in during intercoarse being released..

It's plausible if a male urethra opening was large enough; the same phenmena could occur.. In general probably, but too inaudible for average hearing to pick up..

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"if a man wanks in the woods does anyone hear ?"

Wood in the woods?

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol


"But that may be because I was distracted by vocals and squelches

You need to get a techy to run one of those programmes that cleans up the sound. Although it sounds like you might need some cleaning up, you hussy. Who has a recording of cumming on their phone?

I know, I'm appalled at myself

21 years ago (when you were a wee thing) my partner at that time recorded us one night and included it in the soundtrack of one of his songs. "

Je t'aime!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When my cum comes squirting out all my little sperm swimmers shout "Weeeeeee"..

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I'm now imagining the noise you get when trying to squeeze the last bit of ketchup out of a plastic tomato thingummybob. Or the little puff of air you get from the optician's bulby thing if it's jizz number three or four in a short space of time."

I have an eye test on Wednesday. I really hope it's a woman otherwise I'll end up thinking of this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But that may be because I was distracted by vocals and squelches

You need to get a techy to run one of those programmes that cleans up the sound. Although it sounds like you might need some cleaning up, you hussy. Who has a recording of cumming on their phone?

I know, I'm appalled at myself

21 years ago (when you were a wee thing) my partner at that time recorded us one night and included it in the soundtrack of one of his songs.

Je t'aime! "

Mine was just sent to me by a rude man. Your story is much more romantic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Has anyone got a penis handy? Record the noise, turn the volume up to 11 and tell us what you hear, please.

This!!

Thanking the wankers in advance.

I could get this experiment over quicker if I get sent some pictures. "

We don't need it done so quick we have to check it back in slo mo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think I can answer this, it's the witching hour usually between 3 and 4am, when the outside is sleeping, the house is quiet and I've had a sleeping penis in my bed. It's dark so your other senses are heightened, if you finger a guys arse hole and suck him whilst he's asleep you'll hear the sound of ejaculation, it's sort of like when you stand on snails and they make a screaming whistling noise as the air in their lungs get crushed, penis ejaculation makes a noise, ahh fuck how do you describe it, it's like a squeak but it's not a squeak, if you put your lips together as if you're gonna say the letter p or blow a bubble!

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

seawitch, I you. That is all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've seen it lots of times

I've only ever heard it once

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best. Description. Ever.

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By *irtyGirl OP   Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"seawitch, I you. That is all."

Seconded!

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Think I can answer this, it's the witching hour usually between 3 and 4am, when the outside is sleeping, the house is quiet and I've had a sleeping penis in my bed. It's dark so your other senses are heightened, if you finger a guys arse hole and suck him whilst he's asleep you'll hear the sound of ejaculation, it's sort of like when you stand on snails and they make a screaming whistling noise as the air in their lungs get crushed, penis ejaculation makes a noise, ahh fuck how do you describe it, it's like a squeak but it's not a squeak, if you put your lips together as if you're gonna say the letter p or blow a bubble!"

Thank you Seawitch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Apparently dogs can hear it. It has been recorded by high frequency acoustic recording devices. Apparently it sounds like a rollercoaster full of small children.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See, I knew all these years of sleep activity would come in handy!

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"See, I knew all these years of sleep activity would come in handy!"

Seawitch, has your time researching this concluded whether circumcision affects the noise?

(I did warn you DG!)

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

The right sensitive monitoring and recording equipment will allow you to measure, analyze and replay it. You may be amazed at its sound, once amplified.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best... Thread... Ever!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Think I can answer this, it's the witching hour usually between 3 and 4am, when the outside is sleeping, the house is quiet and I've had a sleeping penis in my bed. It's dark so your other senses are heightened, if you finger a guys arse hole and suck him whilst he's asleep you'll hear the sound of ejaculation, it's sort of like when you stand on snails and they make a screaming whistling noise as the air in their lungs get crushed, penis ejaculation makes a noise, ahh fuck how do you describe it, it's like a squeak but it's not a squeak, if you put your lips together as if you're gonna say the letter p or blow a bubble!"

Yes, these prostrate massages are the reason for my previousanti social behaviour orders for noise pollution.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"See, I knew all these years of sleep activity would come in handy!

Seawitch, has your time researching this concluded whether circumcision affects the noise?

(I did warn you DG!)"

Ahh I've never had a circumcised willy before, I like a turtle neck on my willys.

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By *irtyGirl OP   Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"See, I knew all these years of sleep activity would come in handy!

Seawitch, has your time researching this concluded whether circumcision affects the noise?

(I did warn you DG!)"

When you said the snip, I assumed you meant a vasectomy!

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"See, I knew all these years of sleep activity would come in handy!

Seawitch, has your time researching this concluded whether circumcision affects the noise?

(I did warn you DG!)

When you said the snip, I assumed you meant a vasectomy! "

I did, but as a friend has just undergone MGM it got me thinking.

Seawitch, turtle neck or not I just like them hard.

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By *irtyGirl OP   Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Educational content alert...

http://youtu.be/8KXqJS2Puv4

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*faps*

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Educational content alert...

http://youtu.be/8KXqJS2Puv4

"

I'm too young to access that content.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"*faps*"

Are you ready to record?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It must make a noise but maybe only bats can hear it.

"

Great response ... Made me chuckle x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best thread ever. Splooge!!! Ace.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I distinctly just heard Geronimooooooo and Shoooow meeee the egggg!!! Just For information

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"seawitch, I you. That is all."

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Once you've heard it, you're attuned. I can hear men-folk's cocks popping for miles around. I liken it to whales and their singing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Those poor snails

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By *angerousEyesMan
over a year ago

weston

Currahee is all i hear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Those poor snails "

Fuck 'em they cause chaos up my grampas allotment! Had loads of fun sprinkling broken egg shells and my gramps letting me stamp on all the snails!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My hot jizz is as quite as an electric car

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A random thought popped into my head whilst in the forum chatroom tonight...

Does spunk make a noise when it exits the penis?

I'm not talking about the wanking noise of the hand moving the penis or the vocal noises from said wanker, but the actual spunk leaving the bell end... does it make a spurting noise and then a splat or does it just exist quietly and make a noise against whatever it hits?

Or is it silent?

"

Nobody knows, because of all the the grunting, moaning, screaming, or occasionally, snoring.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Had loads of fun sprinkling broken egg shells and my gramps letting me stamp on all the snails! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Had loads of fun sprinkling broken egg shells and my gramps letting me stamp on all the snails!

"

Wicked Witch of the West comes to mind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Had loads of fun sprinkling broken egg shells and my gramps letting me stamp on all the snails!

Wicked Witch of the West comes to mind "

If it makes you feel better I was lovely to slow worms. Had two as pets for 12 years, silky and mr brown!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rumour has it when superman cums it sounds like a canon fire but as for us humans no there's no sound

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's more like a 'whoosh'. Like when you turn your garden hose on and the water travels through.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Mine sounds like Saturn V taking off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think all the little sperm shout freeeeedom!!!! as they pop out the end "

Maybe they shout "banana", like minions......

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By *irtyGirl OP   Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I'm still waiting for Lib's findings... I sent him pics and everything!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ahhh sigh....... I remember back in the day when it used pump out with an enthusiastic forceful.... sst-sst-sst......

Now it just limps out with an apologetic flump.....

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden


"Ahhh sigh....... I remember back in the day when it used pump out with an enthusiastic forceful.... sst-sst-sst......

Now it just limps out with an apologetic flump..... "

Aha so that's what that noise is I hear EVERY time I walk past you quarters in the Time Machine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ahhh sigh....... I remember back in the day when it used pump out with an enthusiastic forceful.... sst-sst-sst......

Now it just limps out with an apologetic flump.....

Aha so that's what that noise is I hear EVERY time I walk past you quarters in the Time Machine. "

I know where you are going with this Munkster my O'l mate.......

But it's not going to happen.... I will not be changing my name to Flumpalot...

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden


"Ahhh sigh....... I remember back in the day when it used pump out with an enthusiastic forceful.... sst-sst-sst......

Now it just limps out with an apologetic flump.....

Aha so that's what that noise is I hear EVERY time I walk past you quarters in the Time Machine.

I know where you are going with this Munkster my O'l mate.......

But it's not going to happen.... I will not be changing my name to Flumpalot... "

Pah!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let me cum in your ear to find out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I read the title as Penis Nose!

I thought who the fuck has one of those

*note to self, book eye test.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I reckon the little sperms are all saying 'Mine?' like the seagulls in finding Nemo.

We just lack the sufficient scientific recording equipment to pick it up!

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden


"I read the title as Penis Nose!

I thought who the fuck has one of those

*note to self, book eye test."

Penis Nose is actually more widely known as Nasal Sex, fuck nose why... bum bum!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I read the title as Penis Nose!

I thought who the fuck has one of those

*note to self, book eye test.

Penis Nose is actually more widely known as Nasal Sex, fuck nose why... bum bum! "

Did you mention your bum?

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden


"I read the title as Penis Nose!

I thought who the fuck has one of those

*note to self, book eye test.

Penis Nose is actually more widely known as Nasal Sex, fuck nose why... bum bum!

Did you mention your bum? "

Erm I don't think I did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I read the title as Penis Nose!

I thought who the fuck has one of those

*note to self, book eye test.

Penis Nose is actually more widely known as Nasal Sex, fuck nose why... bum bum!

Did you mention your bum?

Erm I don't think I did "

Pants on fire- you said it twice?

Has your nose grown!

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Does it make a different noise if you have bum sex then

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By *irtyGirl OP   Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Can all the tossers report back on your findings please?

I want to do a survey round work but I think it might raise too many eyebrows.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can all the tossers report back on your findings please?

I want to do a survey round work but I think it might raise too many eyebrows. "

Mine sounded like a kitten's tears of joy.

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By *irtyGirl OP   Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"Can all the tossers report back on your findings please?

I want to do a survey round work but I think it might raise too many eyebrows.

Mine sounded like a kitten's tears of joy. "

You get sexier by the minute!

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"A random thought popped into my head whilst in the forum chatroom tonight...

Does spunk make a noise when it exits the penis?

I'm not talking about the wanking noise of the hand moving the penis or the vocal noises from said wanker, but the actual spunk leaving the bell end... does it make a spurting noise and then a splat or does it just exist quietly and make a noise against whatever it hits?

Or is it silent?

"

I don't know. It usually happens in my mouth or deep in my foof so I wouldn't be able to hear it

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Can all the tossers report back on your findings please?

I want to do a survey round work but I think it might raise too many eyebrows.

Mine sounded like a kitten's tears of joy. "

I hope it didn't look like the tears. Cat tears are red-brown and often look like blood.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can all the tossers report back on your findings please?

I want to do a survey round work but I think it might raise too many eyebrows.

Mine sounded like a kitten's tears of joy.

I hope it didn't look like the tears. Cat tears are red-brown and often look like blood. "

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol


"Can all the tossers report back on your findings please?

I want to do a survey round work but I think it might raise too many eyebrows.

Mine sounded like a kitten's tears of joy.

I hope it didn't look like the tears. Cat tears are red-brown and often look like blood. "

Now that is something I didn't know and always used to wonder why my cat had brown eye snot. Thank you, I like a new fact. I shall share it at the next available opportunity.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Can all the tossers report back on your findings please?

I want to do a survey round work but I think it might raise too many eyebrows.

Mine sounded like a kitten's tears of joy.

I hope it didn't look like the tears. Cat tears are red-brown and often look like blood.

Now that is something I didn't know and always used to wonder why my cat had brown eye snot. Thank you, I like a new fact. I shall share it at the next available opportunity. "

They contain iron which gives them the colour.

It can be a problem with white show cats and products exist to remove tear stains from around their eyes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmmm. Me when i m cumming? Oh yes and what a noise, greater than 9th symphony of beethoven

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By *igjrvMan
over a year ago

blackwood

Once I went a few days I swear I heard a fuking bugle sound as I cum.

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol


"Once I went a few days I swear I heard a fuking bugle sound as I cum. "

I actually read that as budgie. Momentarily.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I come it sounds like, ah who am I kidding.

My memories not that good.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No idea, I still haven't wanked.

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By *irtyGirl OP   Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"No idea, I still haven't wanked. "

What did you do with my pics?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No idea, I still haven't wanked.

What did you do with my pics? "

Stuck them on a fake account to sell used underwear from of course.

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By *irtyGirl OP   Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"No idea, I still haven't wanked.

What did you do with my pics?

Stuck them on a fake account to sell used underwear from of course. "

Do I get a cut?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Once I went a few days I swear I heard a fuking bugle sound as I cum.

I actually read that as budgie. Momentarily. "

A bugle of budgies sounds like a good collective noun

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By *irtyGirl OP   Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Now I'm just thinking about budgie smugglers!

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By *orks funMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

imagine the flying scotsman at full steam about to enter a tunnel..then a bit more on top.....and you will have forever etched in your deep dark tormented soul the image of my love potion leaving the station.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Now I'm just thinking about budgie smugglers! "

I think I have some of those on my phone too

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By *irtyGirl OP   Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"Now I'm just thinking about budgie smugglers!

I think I have some of those on my phone too "

Why would you have them on your phone?!

Perve!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Now I'm just thinking about budgie smugglers!

I think I have some of those on my phone too

Why would you have them on your phone?!

Perve! "

There are nice thighs in the picture too

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol


"Now I'm just thinking about budgie smugglers!

I think I have some of those on my phone too

Why would you have them on your phone?!

Perve!

There are nice thighs in the picture too "

In that case having said pic is totally legit.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Now I'm just thinking about budgie smugglers!

I think I have some of those on my phone too

Why would you have them on your phone?!

Perve!

There are nice thighs in the picture too

In that case having said pic is totally legit."

Wow, love that new av!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like the 1812 overture.

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By *irtyGirl OP   Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"Now I'm just thinking about budgie smugglers!

I think I have some of those on my phone too

Why would you have them on your phone?!

Perve!

There are nice thighs in the picture too "

That can almost be forgiven!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Think I can answer this, it's the witching hour usually between 3 and 4am, when the outside is sleeping, the house is quiet and I've had a sleeping penis in my bed. It's dark so your other senses are heightened, if you finger a guys arse hole and suck him whilst he's asleep you'll hear the sound of ejaculation, it's sort of like when you stand on snails and they make a screaming whistling noise as the air in their lungs get crushed, penis ejaculation makes a noise, ahh fuck how do you describe it, it's like a squeak but it's not a squeak, if you put your lips together as if you're gonna say the letter p or blow a bubble!"

brilliant

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By *obwithkiltMan
over a year ago

Belton


"I reckon the little sperms are all saying 'Mine?' like the seagulls in finding Nemo.

We just lack the sufficient scientific recording equipment to pick it up!"

will never be able to watch it again without thinking this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Now I'm just thinking about budgie smugglers!

I think I have some of those on my phone too

Why would you have them on your phone?!

Perve!

There are nice thighs in the picture too "

Oi, you promised to delete them. Bloomin hussy.......

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