FabSwingers.com forum: Be told ........

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

straight and upfront or stumbling upon a truth ....

Which is least shocking or painful ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

straight and upfront is my preference.

just bloody say it... you can choose words that are appropriate and the style of delivery... but just say it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

If its something that you have to be told, being told up front is less painful I think

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

straight up

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm usually straight to the point .....

It's gotton me into a bit of trouble over the years, but hey ho, that's me, how I was, am and always will be

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Can I sit down first?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky24big35Couple
over a year ago

blackpool

straight up,hate being lied to

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Straight to the point.

A spade is a spade after all!....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Straight and upfront, only makes things worse if you hide it, harder to say, honesty is best policy and all that

And either way can be both shocking and/or painful, even both at the same time

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

strat up front even if it hurt ..... as hanging on thinking theres hope can dive you mad and having you hanging.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think stumbling on a truth is the more hurtful and painful. Makes you feel unworthy of the truth. xxxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks ......

Im never any other way but just wondered if im sometimes too upfront. Seems not. x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"Thanks ......

Im never any other way but just wondered if im sometimes too upfront. Seems not. x "

never Granny....

your honesty shines.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the truth told in a possible nice way if possible

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Erect and straight up

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Erect and straight up

What a waste.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Erect and straight up

What a waste. "

up what though

...................

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

"Thanks ......

Im never any other way but just wondered if im sometimes too upfront. Seems not. x "

hold on there granny.dont jump to any conclusions.

there's a difference,between being,up front,and honest,and being a cheeky git.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always upfront. I would rather be told something 'unpleasant' straight. I might not like it at the time but would accept it better than finding out for myself later on. Discovering something would lead to me feeling I had been betrayed and deceived which would be far worse in my opinion.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thanks ......

Im never any other way but just wondered if im sometimes too upfront. Seems not. x

hold on there granny.dont jump to any conclusions.

there's a difference,between being,up front,and honest,and being a cheeky git.

Yes dear x That's the difference between you and me .... crystal. You cheeky git.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks ......

Im never any other way but just wondered if im sometimes too upfront. Seems not. x "

Except that you wouldnt be you if you werent upfront, i dont think you pussy foot around, leastways ive not seen that. Be as upfront as you like

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thanks ......

Im never any other way but just wondered if im sometimes too upfront. Seems not. x

Except that you wouldnt be you if you werent upfront, i dont think you pussy foot around, leastways ive not seen that. Be as upfront as you like

Thanks. I like your tits.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

you, Sassy and Polo.... are as clear as clear can be, love it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks ......

Im never any other way but just wondered if im sometimes too upfront. Seems not. x

Except that you wouldnt be you if you werent upfront, i dont think you pussy foot around, leastways ive not seen that. Be as upfront as you like

Thanks. I like your tits. "

Thanks

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always prefer to be told upfront..

Katie.x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"straight and upfront or stumbling upon a truth ....

Which is least shocking or painful ?"

Prefer people to be straight and upfront and hate being decieved in any way.

In fact..Just found out a supposed friend has sh*t on me re a fella i know and am not best pleased

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

"Thanks ......

Im never any other way but just wondered if im sometimes too upfront. Seems not. x

hold on there granny.dont jump to any conclusions.

there's a difference,between being,up front,and honest,and being a cheeky git.

Yes dear x That's the difference between you and me .... crystal. You cheeky git. "

i know what you's saying,but if there's ever a cheeky git competition.

my moneys on you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think any forum member should post exactly what they wish (following the rules of course) and be clear. However there is a fine line between being upfront and being offensive. Everyone has a different _iewpoint about what is acceptable and what is not. If I have offended anyone, which I know I will have had at some point, I am very happy for them to challenge me or pm me. I think the key is that if you favour the direct approach, then accept the comeback that will bring without sarcasm or without willing groups of supporters to add fuel to fire.

And this isnt directly aimed at you Granny, so please dont take it as such, its just a general _iew of the forums. I accept I make mistakes and fall foul of inappropriateness too, we all get passionate at times.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

if you know the truth at least you know and can deal and move on from it .so always best to be straight and up frount ...not to be confused with tactless though

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't dress it up ever be upfront if they don't like it tough

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had numerous mails from some guy I was just deleting in the end when he sent me the last message I was honest I said your ugly i don't find you appealing so do one got me blocked saved me the trouble

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks ......

Im never any other way but just wondered if im sometimes too upfront. Seems not. x "

I like your two upfront, a wonderful place to be!

xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think any forum member should post exactly what they wish (following the rules of course) and be clear. However there is a fine line between being upfront and being offensive. Everyone has a different _iewpoint about what is acceptable and what is not. If I have offended anyone, which I know I will have had at some point, I am very happy for them to challenge me or pm me. I think the key is that if you favour the direct approach, then accept the comeback that will bring without sarcasm or without willing groups of supporters to add fuel to fire.

I never take your posts personally.

The O.P was not about forums..... I asked for preferences on approaches.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh and in relation to being told something upsetting, ie; a personal issue, then yes Id rather be told upfront and in private, albeit I'd be very upset. Information always comes to the forefront in time, its best to face it head on

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"if you know the truth at least you know and can deal and move on from it .so always best to be straight and up frount ...not to be confused with tactless though "

Best answer yet ......qualified by the fact that it comes close to my own thoughts...ha !

There's an enormous abyss between honesty and tact ...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh and in relation to being told something upsetting, ie; a personal issue, then yes Id rather be told upfront and in private, albeit I'd be very upset. Information always comes to the forefront in time, its best to face it head on

I agree.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never take your posts personally.

The O.P was not about forums..... I asked for preferences on approaches. "

I realise that now after reading through the post again, daft git that I am

And I know you dont take posts personally, you're controversial at times, very much so, but always with sense and meaning, and give me that any day than a wishy washy sit on the fence kind of answer

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Controversial ? Is that the new word for right ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Straight and upfront for me. It won’t always be possible, but preferably delivered with sensitivity.

It may still be shocking and painful, of course, and it may only be marginally less so than if you’d stumbled upon it. Sometimes the truth just plain hurts.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yes.. you are so right. It hadn't occurred to me as yet... it will hurt regardless.. so is there a better way ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally straight down the line but have to say some need lessons on here!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Upfront is the best way

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We delete messages because they guys are not for us they then badger us for a reason I am then honest with them if they are that thick to realise I deleted the message because they was not for me then I am honest.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

To return to the O.P.

Is it better to let someone know something direct or to let them find out by accident ?

Who does the procrastination serve ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“Tell me I'm clever, Tell me I'm kind, Tell me I'm talented, Tell me I'm cute, Tell me I'm sensitive, Graceful and wise, Tell me I'm perfect-- But tell me the truth.”

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To return to the O.P.

Is it better to let someone know something direct or to let them find out by accident ?

Who does the procrastination serve ? "

I would ask myself the question how would I want to find out? And try to answer it as honestly as possible. Yes, we are all different, but I think most of us would prefer the dignity of finding out the truth directly.

And is the person in question trying to avoid hurting someone? And is there a third party involved? As these factors might complicate the issue.

But I think the truth is that the hypothetical person in question would know the answer deep down, and that is the only answer they should listen to, as they will be the one to bear the consequences of that decision.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Granny already knows what I would say, so it is no surprise when I say straight and upfront, as I do not know how to beat around the bush, ever!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What about if you were the one with the info, ie, you find out your best friends husband is having an affair, would you tell her?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If she is my best friend, then yes!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Granny already knows what I would say, so it is no surprise when I say straight and upfront, as I do not know how to beat around the bush, ever!

That's why I won't tag team with you Pearl ..... some bushes are for beating ..... Snigger

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What about if you were the one with the info, ie, you find out your best friends husband is having an affair, would you tell her? "

Me personally .......nope I wouldn't tell her.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

I would care about her if she is my best friend and wouldnt want her deceived as its not nice to be lied to in such a big way.

At least if she is told by someone she cares about then its better than finding the evidence or hearsay from the town gossip. At least the friend can prepare her for the news and be there to hold her hand when she is told

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best of friends look out and after each other. So if I know of news that could potentially upset my best friend, I would rather she hears it from me than via the grapevine!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"What about if you were the one with the info, ie, you find out your best friends husband is having an affair, would you tell her? "

No I would'nt say anything at all and just be an ear if she ever needed it

I do not want to be the messenger that gets shot!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Never mind what her husband is up to ffs..... leave him to get a dose.... What if your best friend stole some tic tacs from the News Agents ..

Would you tell the police ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Dont think the friend would be pleased if she found out that I knew but didnt say anything. Arent we taught not to lie.

If someone knew about my ex before i found out I think I would have been able to have coped with it better earlier on. To know i could have started off again earlier on alone in this chapter in my way rather than when he wanted I would have preferred it.

Do think that if you have been seriously lied to in your own experience it makes you more likely to be honest. Or maybe that is just me x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love it! So many strait up front people its great!

But don’t you think some people use the up front banner as an excuse to be openly rude to people? Then say “ I was just being honest” when they were really using it to be rude.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Never mind what her husband is up to ffs..... leave him to get a dose.... What if your best friend stole some tic tacs from the News Agents ..

Would you tell the police ?"

I won't tell the police, however, I would tell her off myself, which is far worse than being told off by the police I can assure you!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Knowing and not telling is not lying.

I think most of us would tell. I'd like to think I wouldn't. Unless I knew it was imminent that someone else was about to tell her.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love it! So many strait up front people its great!

But don’t you think some people use the up front banner as an excuse to be openly rude to people? Then say “ I was just being honest” when they were really using it to be rude.

I would like to believe I have the good grace not to be rude, but honest, direct and upfront instead.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love it! So many strait up front people its great!

But don’t you think some people use the up front banner as an excuse to be openly rude to people? Then say “ I was just being honest” when they were really using it to be rude.

I would like to believe I have the good grace not to be rude, but honest, direct and upfront instead.

A lot dont though they play a game and say they say it how it is. It happened on S/H quite a bit but they soon lose the honesty when you meet them at events.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why ? Do you punch them ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why ? Do you punch them ?"

What a really strange thing to ask!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you - What makes them lose their honesty then ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank you - What makes them lose their honesty then ?"

Come on most people are really brave on line because there is no eye contact. When your face to face all these i say it as it is people wilt. Well that is what i have found so far anyway.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What I say online I'll say to a person face to face, while looking into his/her eyes!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What I say online I'll say to a person face to face, while looking into his/her eyes!

That is what i mean. Everyone says that on line but they don't when in the same room. Its a good job really or all hell would let loose at some on the clubs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That is what i mean. Everyone says that on line but they don't when in the same room. Its a good job really or all hell would let loose at some on the clubs

You have not met me, so how would you know that I don't?!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That is what i mean. Everyone says that on line but they don't when in the same room. Its a good job really or all hell would let loose at some on the clubs

You have not met me, so how would you know that I don't?!

No i was saying most people say they will not you on your own. When you meet someone if you have been taught manners you tend to be polite with people or most do.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do say hi first before I tell the person I believe he/she is a prat, that's true!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"straight and upfront or stumbling upon a truth ....

Which is least shocking or painful ?"
Straight upfront everytime for me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

Straight and upfront everytime.

i found out two things accidently last year,well one was an accident ,the other was someone taking great delight in hurting me,both times it would have been so much better if i had been told up front.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

"I do say hi first before I tell the person I believe he/she is a prat, that's true!

He he he i don't think so

You sometimes do but not all the time

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread