FabSwingers.com forum: Kids say the funniest things......

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A pcso knocked on my door to tell me to bring my bin in.. my little boy who was 6 at the time followed me to the door and asked Mr pcso where his handcuffs where. When the pcso told him he had left them at home ( saved explainin why pcso don't have them) my son said " my mum has some on her bed I'm sure she will let you borrow them"

A few months passed we was on a full bus he was sat at back with his friend. Then out off blue he shouts " didn't you mum?" When I replied "didn't I what ? "

He shouted at top of his voice " have handcuffs on your bed"

The bus that was reasonably quite to say how busy it was burst into fits of laughter. Xx

What funny embarrassing things has your child said x

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

During cricket season my husband used to have all his mates around to watch it on our big screen. I would be in the kitchen cooking whilst the girls would be in and out playing.

My youngest was playing with her Tiny Tears.

I went into the lounge to see if everyone was ok. My youngest followed me with a naked Tiny Tears and an Always between the doll's legs. "Mummy, I can't get it to stick!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At a funeral wake I was washing up in the kitchen with a group of men standing behind me; my husband,two of his brothers and two of his uncles,when my 4 year old daughter walked in and loudly proclaimed "My mummy has a hairy noony". A second of silence before they all burst out laughing and my face went beetroot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

announced to the chippie that I'd got new false teeth...no, they're real, little buggers.

"HAHA!! PEEEEENIIIS!" in swim changing is usual.

"mummy's got a penis too, dad..".."I always thought so, kiddo".."yep, it's in the drawer!".."ah-ha. ".

dropped the loo roll the other day..didn't expect my 3 year old to cover eyes with one hand and say "you buffoon"...

Or the time he walked up to an old friend of mine, and asked "do you have big boobs? I like big boobs"..speechless, but it was funny!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Took the little to nursery and he was on my lap... Queue of people waiting to go in, the usual.

He pulls down my top, exposes my bra and shouts

'Look, oooooh nice'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kids pointing out that people smell on a bus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my daughter collected stickers when she was 4 and quite often she'd get 2 or 3 of the same one.

In the chinese one night placing and order when some twins came in..

'Looks mummy.. real life doop-ul-kits'

They just laughed.. i thought it was quite sweet :D

The fact she couldnt quite saying duplicates properly made it better

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

My son apparently saw me bend to flush the loo once when I had a tampon in (no idea how I didn't hear him as he was about 4 and like a bull in a China shop all the time)! He asked later very loudly in Asda why I had a mouse in my bottom!?

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By *aneandpaulCouple
over a year ago

cleveleys

On holiday there was a couple with a young boy about 6-8 by the pool one day he is on his own some one asks were is mum and dad was he said it,s not his proper dad his proper dad was at home.

He then told every one it was his mums friend he only called him dad to make his mum happy.

Then he said my proper dad says he is a cunt and a thing my proper dad is right whats the saying from the mouth of babies

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I also took my little girl into the new corner shop when she was about 2. The village was 99% white people. As we worked in and saw a Asian guy behind counter, she says " yuk mummy that mister needs a bath he dirty " I could have died.

We never really went out village so didn't really see any Asians or coloured people. So at the age of 2 she didn't know any different x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One Christmas when I was still married we had a large gathering on Christmas Day. Me and the wife had been at it the night before and our eldest who must have been about 8 at the time asked why mummy had been screaming during the night. We told him she had been doing her exercises and thought nothing more of it. My son blurted out round the table "I heard mum doing her exercises last night" and he gave a really good prolonged impression of the wife's sex noises. My wife went beetroot and I disappeared to the kitchen for drinks. Little bugger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We went to an event and a few of us teens were sat in a room having a conversation waiting for this lady... Now she had been gone a while and one of us asked where is she and why is she taking so long ...

Her four year old son so innocently looked up and goes 'daddy is eating mummy's boobies'

I don't think any of us knew where to put our faces!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh I've got my daughter wanting me to set Buzz Lightyear to Spanish mode at the moment, cause she's just watched Toy Story 3, she is adamant he does change languages, so about to get the screwdriver out

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Recently my 11 yr old yr 7 son wasn't performing at school. I had to sit him down for a chat. I had to explain, again, that he needed to come out of school with good grades to be able to get a decent job so he could afford nice cars and his own place etc especially as there is a lot of competition out there.

So after I asked him why he needed to do well to see if he had taken our convo in. His reply was 'because there are a lot of gold diggers out there'.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Recently my 11 yr old yr 7 son wasn't performing at school. I had to sit him down for a chat. I had to explain, again, that he needed to come out of school with good grades to be able to get a decent job so he could afford nice cars and his own place etc especially as there is a lot of competition out there.

So after I asked him why he needed to do well to see if he had taken our convo in. His reply was 'because there are a lot of gold diggers out there'.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"My son apparently saw me bend to flush the loo once when I had a tampon in (no idea how I didn't hear him as he was about 4 and like a bull in a China shop all the time)! He asked later very loudly in Asda why I had a mouse in my bottom!?

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

So after I asked him why he needed to do well to see if he had taken our convo in. His reply was 'because there are a lot of gold diggers out there'.

Again...

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

Good school friend of mines mum got remarried about 8 years ago. At the reception someone was walking round with a video camera so the guests could record short messages for the happy couple.

They eventually got round to their grandson who was about 3.

'owen, have you got anything to tell nanny and John on their special day'

Owen.... Yeah I need a poo

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

We had a meal the night before our wedding with our family & really close friends. My eldest was about to turn 4. He announced to the whole party that my hairy fairy had fallen off

I take great pleasure in the video footage of his kilt falling down to show his red Noddy pants!!

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Little one ran up to his uncle the other day in a room full of people saying

'I want Halloween erection'

Safe to say everyone went silent and then I had to explain he can't say Halloween resurrection

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